Throughout its first 25 years, Major League Soccer has seen players from all different corners of the globe, each with their own career story. Whether it be a guy like Tim Melia or Chris Wondolowski who were scrappy guys that came out of nowhere to be stars in this league, or world famous names such as Zlatan, Beckham, and Henry, the league's history of big names is as diverse as they come.
Let's take a look at the best player from each country around the globe. This will be based on national team allegiance. Today, we'll be leading with Europe!
Please note that this is my opinion, and in some cases the decisions were tough; I'll be sure to add in honorable mentions where I can, or add notes.
Albania: Shkëlzen Gashi ( COL 2016-18)
Short list to pick from here, as Gashi's only competition is Jahmir Hyka and Hamdi Salihi. Gashi gets the nod, if nothing else, for his huge 2016 season, where he scored 10 regular season goals (one of which was that year's Goal of the Year) as the Rapids damn near won the Shield. The madlad then went and one-upped that with his absurd equalizer in the playoffs against the Galaxy.
His last two years weren't as fruitful, but man, when he was on he could pull something out of nowhere.
Armenia: Yura Movsisyan ( KC 2006-07, RSL 2007-09 & 2016-18, CHI 2018)
Four choices here, although in the end it's Movsisyan winning out over Harut Karapetyan, who played a couple seasons in the 90s for the Galaxy, San Jose, and Tampa Bay. The fourth pick in a strong 2006 MLS SuperDraft out of Pasadena City College, Movsisyan is mostly associated with RSL, who acquired him in a 2007 trade. With the Claret and Cobalt, he would tally 15 goals in 53 regular season appearances, and in 2009 he'd hoist the club's first MLS Cup. That'd be his last game with RSL until 2016 after some time in Europe with Randers, Krasnodar, and Spartak Moscow (even sharing the Russian PL Golden Boot in 2012/13 with Wanderson). He'd put up a similar clip of 16 in 57 before being waived and finishing his MLS career with four scoreless games with Chicago.
Austria: Daniel Royer ( NYRB 2016-pres.)
The choice here was largely Royer vs. Andreas Ivanschitz, who was a regular starter for Seattle's first MLS Cup, but I can't say no to a man with over 100 MLS matches played and three straight 10-goal seasons. In all comps, the former Austria Vienna man is just two goals behind Thierry Henry for third on the Red Bulls' all time goal scoring list.
Belarus: Sasha Gotsmanov ( COL 2005)
Gotsmanov qualifies by default as the only Belarusian player in MLS history. The Minsk native (and son of former Soviet and Belarusian international Sergei Gotsmanov) played one (1) single game for Colorado in October 2005, against RSL.
Belgium: Laurent Ciman ( MTL 2015-17, LAFC 2018, TFC 2019-pres.)
Shouts to Roland Lamah, who had his moments in Dallas, and Jelle van Damme, who played a season and a half for the Galaxy, but Ciman is the obvious choice. While he's fallen off a cliff as he's gotten older, he's a three-time All-Star and won Defender of the Year in his first MLS season; in his second, he played for Belgium at Euro 2016. At 35, he's lost a step and probably should only be used in emergencies, but at his best he was an elite MLS center back that could also be deployed at right back.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Haris Medunjanin ( PHI 2017-19, CIN 2020-pres.)
The first one where I'm not totally confident in my pick, as Baggio Hušidić made this tricky (and as a Union fan I'm afraid of bias). But at his best, Haris is an assist machine (30 in four MLS seasons so far), and a threat on set pieces; the madlad even scored an Olimpico this year. His left foot is probably the best the Union have ever had. While his commitment to defense was nonexistent, give him the ball and he could spray a pass anywhere.
Bulgaria: Hristo Stoichkov ( CHI 2000-02, DC 2003)
One of three former Ballon d'Or winners to play in MLS (the others being Lothar Matthaus and Kaka, although "playing" is generous for the former), Stoichkov spent the last four seasons of his career in MLS, scoring 22 goals in 72 regular season matches for Chicago and DC. In his first season, a 9 goal in 18 match outing for the Fire, he also won the US Open Cup, scoring the opening goal of the final, a 2-1 win over Miami. (The winning goal, by the way, was scored by our old friend Owen Goal.)
Croatia: Damir Kreilach ( RSL 2018-pres.)
Mr. Miyagi's favorite MLS player for his crane kick equalizer in the playoffs, the former Rijeka and Union Berlin man has proven to be an excellent utility piece and core part of RSL throughout his time there, scoring 26 goals and chipping in 14 assists in 86 regular season matches and playing all over the damn place (naturally a central midfielder, he's probably still RSL's best forward). At 31, he still has a lot to give.
MLS has seen a huge influx of Croats lately, though; before Kreilach's 2018 signing there had only been four Croatian players in MLS history, two of whom barely played. Currently, there are five on active rosters.
Czechia: Luboš Kubík ( CHI 1998-2001, DAL 2001)
Czech players have had a good hit rate in MLS. In his lone MLS season, Bořek Dočkal led the league in assists, and Zdeněk Ondrášek was a very solid piece for Dallas, albeit one whose MLS time was brief.
But no. We have to go with Kubik. The sweeper was Best XI twice, in 1998 and 1999, and won Defender of the Year in 1998 helping Chicago to a MLS Cup-Open Cup double. He'd win another Open Cup two years later, before being traded to Dallas in 2001 and retiring due to injury.
So many lethal counterattacks started on the foot of this man, and he is rightfully seen as one of the greatest defenders the league has ever seen.
Denmark: Jimmy Nielsen ( KC 2010-13)
I debated going WAYYYYYYY off the board here and throwing out Miklos Molnar. His time in MLS was brief, just the 2000 season before he retired, but the man was the best attacking piece on a Cup winner. He could have balled out if he didn't retire early.
But nah. We're going with Casino Jimmy, one of the keys towards Kansas City's early 2010s turnaround. A two time All-Star, Nielsen was Goalkeeper of the Year in 2012, a year that also saw him win the Open Cup with the Wiz (on penalties, because KC and penalties, name a more iconic duo at this point). In 2013, he capped off his career by winning MLS Cup, again on penalties, while playing with broken ribs.
England: Bradley Wright-Phillips ( 2013-2019, LAFC 2020)
This league, man.
The list of English players to have represented in MLS is a long one, full of iconic names. Ashley Cole. David Beckham. Frank Lampard. Steven Gerrard. Jermain Defoe. Wayne Rooney. Hell, even Bradley's brother Shaun.
But nope. Many of those guys are the butt of many MLS jokes. BWP, on the other hand, is one of the greatest goal scorers the league has ever seen, with two Golden Boots to his name and well over a century of league goals. He was a part of 3 Shield winning teams, and made CONCACAF's Best XI in 2018.
And it all started with a quiet trial in 2013 after Charlton dumped him. This. League.
And This. Man. Even as a fan of Philly who doesn't care much for the Red Bulls, I respect this dude and everything he's done. I hope he gets another year after winning Comeback Player of the Year this year.
Estonia: Joel Lindpere ( NYRB 2010-12, CHI 2013)
The only other option here was Erik Sorga, who could dethrone Lindpere as he came to MLS at a very young age. But it's unlikely, as Lindpere was quietly very solid for the Red Bulls during his time. The Tallinn native was a two-time All-Star, and in 2010 he was named the Red Bulls' team MVP.
Finland: Alex Ring ( NYC 2017-2020, AUS pres.)
T O P I C A L
There's a few fairly talented Finns in MLS right now that could make this interesting (I really like Robin Lod's game, and Lassi Lappelainen would be excellent for Montreal if he'd stop getting hurt). Ring however has proven his worth across 4 seasons, including time as NYC's captain. Over 10,000 MLS minutes, mostly for good teams, as a defensive anchor, he will be a fantastic tone-setter for the new Austin team.
France: Thierry Henry ( NYRB 2010-14)
Oh man, as an Ireland fan I wanted to give this to literally anyone else. I am still bitter, dammit.
His best competition is probably Aurelien Collin, who has a closetful of trophies (including a Best XI and MLS Cup MVP). But no...it's Henry.
When a big name comes to MLS, what people want to see is someone who treats the league with respect. Henry did that. Not only was he dominant on the pitch, a three-time Best XI nomination, he also respected the history of the club he played for and gave 100%, even though he was getting up there in the years. He's a Red Bulls and MLS legend...as much as I curse that godforsaken hand
Georgia: Valeri "Vako" Qazaishvili ( SJ 2017-20)
It looks like the San Jose chapter of Vako's career is done and dusted. While the former Vitesse man struggled for consistency, he did put up 26 goals and 13 assists across four MLS seasons for the Quakes, including 10 while being coached by Mikael Stahre, which should probably get him and Wondo some sort of award.
We'll see what's next for him, if he leaves MLS or goes back to Europe. His only competition was Quakes teammate Guram Kashia.
Germany: Bastian Schweinsteiger ( CHI 2017-19)
I'm...actually not sure about this one. I actually changed this while writing, as I very nearly chose Julian Gressel; the former Rookie of the Year has two 10-assist seasons under his belt, and Kai Wagner has also been one of the league's better fullbacks for Philadelphia; Schweinsteiger was solid enough for Chicago in his advanced age for some very frustrating teams (and even moved positions to center back!)...but man, I don't know.
Germany is weird. For a country with such a great footballing tradition, the pickings are fairly slim. Arne Friedrich had one good year for Chicago before injuries claimed his career. Lottar Matthaus was as committed to this league as Schalke are to winning football matches. Stefan Aigner was stifled by Anthony Hudson going galaxy brain. Torsten Frings...existed.
I dunno.
Greece: Alexandros Tabakis ( ATL 2017)
The only Greek in MLS history...and our second one game wonder. Atlanta's FOURTH string keeper in 2017, he managed to sneak into a game against Minnesota with Brad Guzan on international duty, Alec Kann injured, and Kyle Reynish sent off during the match.
Atlanta lost 3-2. He's now in USL.
Hungary: Nemanja Nikolić ( CHI 2017-19)
Dániel Sallói and Krisztián Németh had their moments, but the winner is Nikolić, who came to MLS from the Ekstraklasa and immediately won the Golden Boot. His totals diminished in the three seasons he spent with Chicago, but 51 goals in 96 appearances isn't too shabby at all - it's second in Fire history behind Ante Razov.
Iceland - Guðmundur Þórarinsson ( NYC 2020-pres.)
Not much choice, 3 guys, all of whom were mostly bench guys. I almost went with Kristinn Steindorsson here on the merits of "he didn't have a penalty saved by Rodrigo Schlegel."
Israel: Gadi Kinda ( SKC 2020-pres.)
It was either him or Dedi Ben Dayan, really. And I nearly went with the former Colorado left back, but nah, Kinda is very much the superior player. The midfielder born in Ethiopia, Kinda shone brightly in his first season in KC, with 6 goals and 4 assists in his debut season. He'll be a DP next season.
Italy: Sebastian Giovinco ( TOR 2015-18)
A signing that changed an entire club.
Before Giovinco, the Reds were a laughingstock. He came in, won a Golden Boot and MVP right away, led the league in assists, made Best XI three years in a row, led them to their first playoff game, their first MLS Cup final, their first MLS Cup win, and a historic treble. And they damn near won CCL too.
The Atomic Ant was must-see from Day 1. It's not just because of him that Toronto is now one of MLS's elite...but he was a huge part of changing that culture. 83 goals in 142 games in all comps. And he dished out his fair share of assists too, with a telepathic partnership with Jozy.
Latvia: Raivis Hščanovičs ( TOR 2010)
Not much to write about here. 14 games for a bad Reds team. Gets in by default with no other Latvian MLS players.
Liechtenstein: Nicholas Hasler ( TOR 2017-18, CHI 2018-19, SKC 2019)
Another one by default. 66 games as a utilityman. Won MLS Cup and the Shield, though.
Lithuania: Vytautas Andriuškevičius ( POR 2016-18, DC 2018)
Only other choice was Edgaras Jankauskas, a forward who played 14 games for the Revs. Vytas played 37 for Portland and zero for DC.
Luxembourg: Maxime Chanot ( NYC 2016-pres.)
Another one by default but this one's an actually really solid player that finished fourth in Defender of the Year voting in 2019. We take those.
Malta: Etienne Barbera ( VAN 2012)
2 games in 2012. Only Maltese player in MLS.
Montenegro: Branko Bošković ( DC 2010-12)
Pretty much every other Montenegrin player played less than 20 games in MLS. Bošković played 43 before returning to Europe for family reasons. 7 assists in his final season though, which is technically something.
Netherlands: Johan Kappelhof ( CHI 2016-pres.)
Much like Germany, bright footballing tradition, very shaky MLS history. Which is weird because the Eredivisie exports a lot of guys to MLS.
Also, I'm excluding Kelvin Leerdam, as he is probably changing his international allegiance to Suriname.
So I'm going with 2017 All-Star Kappelhof, who I think is still fairly solid.
But really the choices aren't great. Dave van den Burgh? Roland Alberg scored a hat trick once I guess? Danny Koevermans was decent but injured all the time?
Maybe it's a hot take. It probably is.
North Macedonia: Oka Nikolov ( PHI 2013)
Never actually played, only in a friendly. Watch this space though as North Macedonia is apparently courting LAFC's Danny Musovski.
Northern Ireland: Johnny Steele ( RSL 2012, NYRB 2013-14)
Another case of shaky opposition, it was either Steele or Steve Morrow, who played 41 games for Dallas in the aughts.
Steele played regularly for a Shield winner, the 2013 Red Bulls. Easy peasy.
Norway: Vadim Demidov Ola Kamara ( CLB 2016-17, LAG 2018, DC 2019-pres.)
Adama Diomande is the main competition here. Kamara's first stint in MLS was a smashing success, scoring 48 goals in 90 regular season matches for Columbus and the Galaxy (he was traded for Gyasi Zardes before 2018). A brief foray to China followed, and while he's back in MLS with DC he hasn't quite been the same.
Still a good player on his day, maybe just the Bennyball effect.
Poland: Piotr Nowak ( CHI 1998-2002)
When I think of early Chicago, Nowak and the earlier-mentioned Kubik are the first two names that come to mind. Kubik held down the back while Nowak was the chief creator in the midfield. Three-time best XI, three-time All-Star, and MLS Cup MVP.
...can I drink my water now?
Portugal: José Gonçalves ( NE 2013-16)
Gonçalves fell off a cliff in his latter years, but in his first MLS season he won Defender of the Year and in his second he was a key part of a team that made the MLS Cup final and damn near won the thing.
Runner up here is Nani who is probably closing in.
EDIT: I also forgot to mention Pedro Santos, thanks to the Crew fans who pointed that one out. I still think Gonçalves pips him for his 2013 if nothing else, but Santos is probably closer than Nani.
Republic of Ireland: Robbie Keane ( LAG 2011-16)
A LOT closer than you think; Time Person of the Century Juventus legend Ronnie O'Brien was two-time best XI himself.
But nonono. This is Robbie freaking Keane. When we see these big name Euro guys interested in MLS, this is the man we want them to be.
Hypercompetitive and holding guys accountable on and off the pitch, and scoring for fun. 83 goals in 125 MLS regular season appearances. Best XI four times. 2014 MVP. MLS Cup MVP in 2014. A closetful of team awards including 3 MLS Cups.
This man was a baller, and frankly his departure was the beginning of the Galaxy decline into irrelevance, but that's a story for another time.
Romania: Alexandru Mitriță ( NYC 2019-pres.?)
Question mark because he's on loan and I have no idea if it'll be permanent, but he was punted out by the Pigeons just as he was really starting to break out. He scored 12 goals in his debut season last year but filled in nicely this year while Maxi Moralez was injured. EDIT: NYC fans have informed me he wasn't punted out, but was loaned out to be closer to his pregnant wife. My apologies.
Honorable mention: Alex Zotincă, who played for the Wizards and Chivas USA in the aughts. Brave man.
Russia: Igor Simutenkov ( KC 2002-04)
Not a lot to pick from here either. 49 games, 12 goals for this forward from Moscow, who now serves as an assistant coach at Zenit.
Scotland: John Spencer ( COL, 2001-04)
Give Johnny Russell another few years and he'll pass Spencer, but for now I'm leaning the latter. Spencer as a coach was frustrating as hell, but as a player he was Best XI twice and an MVP finalist once. Dude could score goals despite battling injuries in his time in MLS.
Just don't let him sign Kris Boyd. Then you lose to Cal FC. No one wants that.
Serbia: Aleksandar Katai ( 2018-19, 2020)
FROM A SPORTING PERSPECTIVE.
And mostly due to a weak pool. Runner up was probably someone like Miloš Kocić.
18 goals in 62 games for Chicago before getting yeeted back to Serbia for Bad People Reasons
Slovakia: Albert Rusnák ( RSL 2017-pres.)
He has tenure on Ján Greguš, who's the closest competitor, but Rusnák is also good. He followed up a 14-assist debut season (4th in the league) with back to back 10 goal seasons before struggling this year with injury.
Slovenia: Robert Berić ( CHI 2020-pres.)
Once he got acclimated to MLS, the goals came, and Chicago has its successor to Nikolić up top. He finished with 12 goals in his debut season, tied for second in the league with Ruidiaz and Zardes.
Also, from what I saw early on, seems like he's a dark-arts type of guy that gets in your head. That's fun.
Spain: David Villa ( NYC 2015-18)
I really didn't want to put him here due to recent allegations, and the fact that Pozuelo has already matched his MVP and two Best XI performances....
77 goals in 117 games though, that's tough to pass on.
Sweden: Zlatan Ibrahimović ( LAG 2018-19)
It's Zlatan.
He pretty much dragged a sorry LA organization to something resembling competitiveness.
What the hell did you expect?
(Anton Tinnerholm made this hard, though)
EDIT: Forgot Gustav Svensson as well in my honorable mentions.
Switzerland: Stefan Frei ( TOR 2009-13, SEA 2014-pres.)
Pretty self-explanatory, one of the most accomplished keepers in MLS history and with a closetful of hardware. And all it took Seattle to get him was a late first round pick that pinged around so much that it was eventually traded for a coach.
Turkey: Sercan Güvenışık ( SJ 2012)
5 games that year. No one else has flown the Turkish flag in MLS.
Ukraine: Dema Kovalenko ( CHI 1999-2002, DC 2002-05, NYRB 2006-08, RSL 2008, LAG 2008-10)
I'm afraid he'd break my legs if I didn't. One of the most physical and downright dirty players the league has ever seen. Made nearly 300 appearances though, and has one each of the 3 major US trophies (MLS Cup, USOC, Shield), all with a different team.
Wales: Andy Dorman ( NE 2004-07, 2013-15)
Dorman was a key part of that real good Revs team from the mid-aughts, and just beats out Carl Robinson. He made 112 appearances in his first stint, and played in 3 MLS Cup finals, though they famously lost all three. The Revs brought him back in 2013 after some time in Scotland and England, and was playing semipro in the area as recently as 2018.

NOTE: This is FAKE HOCKEY. To talk about actual hockey, go to the latest Daily Discussion thread
Trade Deadline Tonight will continue TONIGHT!
The /hockey Trade Deadline Game is back for day 2! Starting today at 8:00 AM MT trading is officially open again. Trading will run until Thursday, January 30th at 6:00 PM MT.
You are not late! You can still sign up at http://www.tdgdb.com
When you are traded, change your flair on hockey-related subreddits and spend the week from January 31st through February 7th cheering for your new team.
Here are this year's reporters, the people who will make things up break news of trade negotiations:

• DeathToHeretics
• WMino

But remember

NO TRADE IS OFFICIAL UNTIL POSTED IN THIS THREAD!

It's not too late to sign up to be a player The sign-up form is still active and will remain open until Wednesday night. You can find that here
For TDG-related shenanigans, go here [WARNING: some NSFW Language]
Happy trading!
coloradoavalanche receives xelrano from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives illwill18 from coloradoavalanche
Detroit receives a 3 of the Rocky Mountains, Breckenridge Brewery.
Colorado receives Windsor Ontario.
coloradoavalanche receives Muckerofbin from edmontonoilers
coloradoavalanche receives SCwinningJultz from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives asswaffle420 from coloradoavalanche
edmontonoilers receives CloutWaffle from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receive a used oil derrick, straight from the prairies.
canucks receives TheOlDickTwister from detroitredwings
canucks receives SevenStringGod from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives JordanTheLobster from canucks
detroitredwings receives BlueLegs32 from canucks
Detroit receives Storm Brewery.
Vancouver receives the naming rights to Lake Superior
predators receives tonuch4963 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives TRed7894 from predators
Detroit receives Yazoo Brewery, and a choked on peanut.
Nashville receives the helmet from Robocop.
penguins receives thewinterzodiac from edmontonoilers
penguins receives nextfanatic from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives DontPanic_4242 from penguins
edmontonoilers receives shirleyxx from penguins
penguins receive a barrel of the finest Albertan oil.
penguins receives StonedArcticPenguin from rangers
rangers receives ArchaicTriad from penguins
Pittsburgh Cheesesteak has been removed from the menu from Parmanti Bro's
anaheimducks receives Efficient-Sentence from winnipegjets
anaheimducks receives ItsaMe_Fish from winnipegjets
winnipegjets receives dunkan799 from anaheimducks
anaheimducks Front Office will have food delivered to the Front Office of Winnipegjets
stlouisblues receives otterHooligan from flyers
stlouisblues receives DelcoScum from flyers
stlouisblues receives agswanlek from flyers
flyers receives OtterInAustin from stlouisblues
flyers receives lawnicus18 from stlouisblues
flyers receives Rhymes_withOrange from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives The Jacks NYB from Philadelphia in exchange for one hour alone with the Stanley Cup for Gritty.
rangers receives Asscheese124 from floridapanthers
rangers receives BearHands00 from floridapanthers
rangers receives MiamiDolphinsFan13 from floridapanthers
floridapanthers receives MentalCorruption from rangers
The New York Rangers also receive naming rights to the city of Miami, renaming it New Brooklyn, and naming rights to the Florida Keys, renaming them the Brooklyn Keys
flyers receives leadorlead from bluejackets
bluejackets receives puckcrisis11 from flyers
To bluejackets - a supply of Scrapple
To flyers - a gift card to La Crema in Hamilton
bluejackets receives NorthHighBears from coloradoavalanche
bluejackets receives RaiderGoalie from coloradoavalanche
bluejackets receives FuzzyTheKiller from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Highlander253 from bluejackets
coloradoavalanche receives HockeyHydralisk from bluejackets
Columbus Blue Jackets to receive a case of Marylands finest rot gut, DuClaw Brewery's Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter.
Colorado Avalanche to receive assurances that HockeyHydralisk will shitpost memes at least twice, spending more than ten minutes in GIMP and not just making text on a white background.
detroitredwings receives docksmur from bluejackets
detroitredwings receives Demonox01 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives TheFlanderer from detroitredwings
bluejackets receives InSwedenWeTrust from detroitredwings
bluejackets may dress the Spirit of Detroit in a Blue Jackets jersey for one week
detroitredwings receives the Columbus Brewing Company
flyers receives Sulfoniclol from coloradoavalanche
flyers receives doodlescout from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives TheGlaceon78 from flyers
coloradoavalanche receives wh1zzer from flyers
Colorado Avalanche to receive the township of Cherry Hill, NJ.
canes receives sneakytinkerspirits from canes
VGK receives a single In-n-Out fry. Not even animal style. Plain.
devils receives OhneBremse_OhneLicht from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives woodbot96 from devils
sanjosesharks receives SnowyPuzzle from devils
sanjosesharks receives HopelessEsq from devils
sanjosesharks receives CTLepore from devils
hawks receives themagicman1343 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Xenofon713 from hawks
detroitredwings receives Goose Island Brewery, but will still distribute to Chicago. hawks gets to rename 8 mile, 88 mile and a picture of Patrick Kane will be put on the sign.
hawks receives hockeyenthusiast from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives NimihseeL from hawks
Chicago will send some cold weather to the Bay Area. The Sharks will use this to host the Blackhawks in the Winter Classic.
canes receives StephDoesntCamp from flyers
flyers receives SheepLovesFinns from canes
flyers receives SarahCiv from canes
flyers receives IAMA_Dumba55_Fan from canes
canes receives the Rocky statue and promises to teach Steph how to properly appreciate Rod the Bod
dallasstars receives kethryvis from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives talkinmyface from dallasstars
sanjosesharks receives doihavetowearabra from dallasstars
Sharks receive three bags of hockey pucks.
detroitredwings receives OcelotWolf from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives swim846 from detroitredwings
sanjosesharks receives GreatCanadian_ from detroitredwings
sanjosesharks receives ts1234666 from detroitredwings
Detroit receives ownership of the Hapas Brewing Company.
newyorkislanders receives Dildo_Baggins_6969 from hawks
newyorkislanders receives bwhyte1123 from hawks
hawks receives Deathwing_Dragonlord from newyorkislanders
hawks receives commsmatt from newyorkislanders
Isles to provide Hawks with Brooklyn pie.
Hawks to provide Isles with deep dish pizza.
detroitredwings receives CutLinkOfficial from rangers
rangers receives nik_mkay from detroitredwings
/detroitredwings get Genesee Brewing Company.
/rangers get to rename Dayton, MI to New New York, MI
devils receives osoblanco234 from goldenknights
devils receives Bigcheecho from goldenknights
devils receives rubix08 from goldenknights
devils receives mmowry98 from goldenknights
devils receives CapHillFlash from goldenknights
goldenknights receives JSav7 from devils
goldenknights receives timotomat0 from devils
goldenknights receives Pastatrees from devils
goldenknights receives Palmsfan21 from devils
goldenknights receives faze_chair from devils
New Jersey Devils acquire Bryce Harper's tears
Vegas Golden Knights acquire a Nikita Gusev Jersey
devils receives Hobpobkibblebob from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives HeadHighSauce26 from devils
tampabaylightning receives diego-fuego from devils
TB receives: Louis Domingue NJ receives: some real Florida beach sand and a 12 pack of a Tampa Bay beer to be named later
canes receives Awab25 from hawks
hawks receives shadownet97 from canes
Canes will receive 1 pie from Pequod's.
leafs receives Cynova055 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives haIifax from leafs
To leafs - a signed LeBron James poster
To bluejackets - a Stan Rogers vinyl
coloradoavalanche receives ksheiny from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives zxpzflik from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives QuantumDrake from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives littleneerd from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives bluestooge from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives usiakcameron from coloradoavalanche
/ColoradoAvalanche receive a cup holder stolen from the Barclays center
both teams sign a joint statement saying the Barclays Center sucks for hockey
rangers receives _RocketGrunt_ from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives stormylullabye from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives Thebush121 from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives taylorrae33 from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives camco105 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives MEGAMATTEOMAN from rangers
coloradoavalanche receives Robtachi from rangers
New York Rangers to receive New Mountain York.
detroitredwings receives guccigatana from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives DeadWithMyFriends from detroitredwings
/NewYorkIslanders receive a girder from the old Joe Louis Arena
/DetroitRedWings receive the Southern Tier Brewing Company
tampabaylightning receives MooseKingdom from leafs
stlouisblues receives Ezflow from tampabaylightning
stlouisblues receives Bryce_Dead19 from tampabaylightning
stlouisblues receives Euroranger from stlouisblues
leafs receives Jimmers1231 from stlouisblues
leafs receives Bcakd5 from stlouisblues
bluejackets receives dylanr18 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives TheDanAplan from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives thecbjfan from bluejackets
leafs receives an official expression of gratitude from stlouisblues for Toronto's release of Tyler Bozak
hawks receives OleMissGoalie37 from coloradoavalanche
hawks receives HeelJopy from coloradoavalanche
hawks receives silentrenegade8 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Bragisson from hawks
Chicago to receive Rhein Haus.
stlouisblues receives wingsfan64 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives ContrastingWords from stlouisblues
/detroitredwings receive 2 clydesdales
/stlouisblues receive 2 Fiats.
flyers receives WhoaItsAFactorial from losangeleskings
losangeleskings receives SplendaMan from flyers
losangeleskings receives crafbicycle from flyers
flyers receives a bag of Mike Richards finest nose candy
losangeleskings receives Gritty's dealer's phone number
losangeleskings receives kenlane from newyorkislanders
losangeleskings receives auniqueusername1001 from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives Branzilla91 from losangeleskings
newyorkislanders receives WhyAreYouGey from losangeleskings
newyorkislanders receives trippy2219 from losangeleskings
/NewYorkIslanders receive a Pau Gasol jersey
/LosAngelesKings receive a jug of that good Brooklyn Water
flyers receives RealmoftheRedWiings from detroitredwings
flyers receives RedWingFan5 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives carp_boy from flyers
detroitredwings receives KFC_Gaming from flyers
/detroitredwings receive Yuengling Brewery
/flyers receive otters Kalee and Sparky from the Detroit Zoo
coyotes receives JimmyRadRad from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives sdubz11 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives vinnyv91 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives PinHill from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives bonzaijoe from coyotes
TB receives: Some desert sand from Arizona + 1 live coyote
ARI receives: Some beach sand from Florida
predators receives m4xdc from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Forny008 from predators
Colorado Avalanche to receive Carrie "Carrie Underwood" Fisher at one home game.
Nashville Predators to receive two free Chevrolet Avalanches to smash as they see fit during the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
stlouisblues receives christinaann6 from penguins
penguins receives a promise that u/professorwhat won't make another edgy joke on stream
losangeleskings receives PhelpsTheory from canes
losangeleskings receives AStelthyNinja from canes
canes receives LABoston from losangeleskings
In addition, CAR receives a dozen Randy's donuts and a taco truck. LAK receives one storm surge wavier.
coloradoavalanche receives YouGot2BeKiddingMe from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives feedfatso1607 from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives Leumas_lheir from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives putinsukraine from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives stubborn11 from coloradoavalanche
COL receives: A jar of lightning that can be controlled and used to kill enemies
TB receives: An avalanche machine that trigger an avalanche wherever I want, once
bluejackets receives Something_319 from stlouisblues
bluejackets receives Euroranger from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives TheDanAplan from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives dylanr18 from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives the entire The Drew Carey Show on Blu-Ray.
bluejackets receive the body of General William T. Sherman. At last reunited with Grant, acquired in an earlier trade, Ohio's great God-Kings shall be reinterred beneath Nationwide Arena, henceforth to watch over this city, this state, and this hockey team in eternal glory.
sabres receives TheConeOfShame805 from penguins
penguins receives NumberJ5 from sabres
sabres receives the Monongahela River and a grilled cheese sandwhich that the Penguins promise is actually a Philly cheesesteak
penguins also gives NumberJ5 his own personal bidet
goldenknights receives needuhlife19 from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives D3troiit from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives cookbacondrunknaked from goldenknights
/detroitredwings receive Ellis Island Hotel Casino & Brewery.
/goldenknights receive Tom Selleck's mustache
bluejackets receives Sh1eldbearer from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives RCX42 from bluejackets
Vegas acquires some Lake Effect from Columbus to help pond hockey in the desert
tampabaylightning receives bay_sports from sanjosesharks
tampabaylightning receives DontSayNoToPills from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives bonzaijoe from tampabaylightning
sanjosesharks receives XanoJester from tampabaylightning
devils receives Troub313 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Flowseidon9 from devils
detroitredwings receives corso923 from devils
/detroitredwings receive the Anheuser-Busch facility located in Newark.
sanjosesharks receives adam3vergreen from bluejackets
bluejackets receives sjs48 from sanjosesharks
bluejackets receives eggs-dee123 from sanjosesharks
caps receives brycer16 from flyers
caps receives AgelessWonder67 from flyers
caps receives FlackBox from flyers
flyers receives koalabear9301 from caps
flyers receives NotShibs from caps
flyers receives _Ghost8_ from caps
Philadelphia sends Jeff Francoeur to DC.
habs receives MOLightningBro from tampabaylightning
habs receives RandomBoltsFan from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives Davel_Patsyuk from habs
tampabaylightning receives christiv7 from habs
tampabaylightning receives Lander-V from habs
MTL receives: A meeting with the Yakuza
TB receives: The best poutine Quebec has to offer
habs receives spyingformontreal from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Notopdelta from habs
/detroitredwings receive Molson Coors Brewing Company.
/Habs receive an unreleased Eminem mixtape
devils receives hnglmkrnglbrry from bluejackets
bluejackets receives summervacationtoHoth from devils
bluejackets receives Danny_Devitos_Bitch from devils
bluejackets receives kingofthediamond from devils
bluejackets receives 4Bars_BlackFlag from devils
bluejackets receives Cyrus_Voltaire from devils
bluejackets receives Future Considerations and Snookie from devils
bluejackets acknowledges and endorses the Devils' famous Christmas Whites as the best in the Tri-State Area.
habs receives Angry_Walnut from goldenknights
goldenknights receives Instantcurry from habs
goldenknights receives killerb54 from habs
Vegas acquires Paccioretty's C
Montreal acquires Paccioretty's A
flyers receives JakeTheSnake0709 from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives NippleDickPussyBhole from flyers
flyers receives the Walterdale Bridge EdmontonOilers receive the opportunity to lick the Liberty Bell
caps receives Xenofon713 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives NKilmer6 from caps
/detroitredwings receive a bag of prison booze from The Central Detention Facility
sanjosesharks receives Softestpoop from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives infamousgenitals from sanjosesharks
edmontonoilers receives thegreatmomo14 from sanjosesharks
penguins receives ProjectPsion from bluejackets
penguins receives TheStigofKentucky from bluejackets
penguins receives Zebra_dan from bluejackets
bluejackets receives PenguinPride87 from penguins
bluejackets receives knucklepuck17 from penguins
bluejackets admits the Pirates will win another title before the Browns will
caps receives thatgoodmojo from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Xenofon713 from caps
/detroitredwings will be holding a press conference soon to honor Xenofon713 for coming back home...for good this time.
flyers receives safetide from losangeleskings
losangeleskings receives cdl5060 from flyers
flyers also receives a meeting with Snoop Dogg to explain what otters are to him
sanjosesharks receives plantedgreenfern from caps
sanjosesharks receives Roust_McGoust from caps
sanjosesharks receives SaxIsMyAxe1_ from caps
sanjosesharks receives Fireball827 from caps
sanjosesharks receives hokierange from caps
caps receives Sainthops from sanjosesharks
caps receives pachicola from sanjosesharks
caps receives bunnymcfoo from sanjosesharks
caps receives SurprisedCarlos from sanjosesharks
winnipegjets receives NarcoticTurkey from habs
habs receives finnishjetter from winnipegjets
Habs receive protection from finnishjetter sabotaging our hockey survivor plans for 2020
winnipegjets receives Spitfyre434 from sanjosesharks
winnipegjets receives lackingspoon from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives TrueNorthStrong1898 from winnipegjets
The Winnipeg Jets officially acknowledge that Northern California is better than Southern California.
winnipegjets receives Fixmy59bug from goldenknights
winnipegjets receives Hektorpascal from goldenknights
goldenknights receives biga204 from winnipegjets
goldenknights receives Kudgar from winnipegjets
stlouisblues receives Whydoesthisexist15 from canes
stlouisblues receives gene_scallop from canes
stlouisblues receives waltstrika from canes
stlouisblues receives canesfan556 from canes
stlouisblues receives fogger794 from canes
canes receives PM_Me_Things_Yo_Like from stlouisblues
canes receives TechDawg20 from stlouisblues
canes receives JazzPolice13 from stlouisblues
canes receives M_Shepard_89 from stlouisblues
canes receives jsmu2016 from stlouisblues
canes receives a buffet tray of T-Ravs, stlouisblues receives the Section 328 Podcast.
canucks receives DeathToHeretics from caps
hawks receives ainzooalg0wn from caps
caps receives thelaineranger from canucks
hawks receives jlennox__ from canucks
caps receives younggun92 from hawks
caps receives jamaicancovfefe from hawks
To Chicago: A pizza from We The Pizza (Toppings to be decided at a later date)
To DeathToHeretics: A Chicago Dog and Chicago Deep Dish Pizza to be taken with him to Vancouver
canucks receives ChronicBitRot from hawks
canucks receives ThirdTimesAnAlt from hawks
canucks receives SpeedyDolphin42 from hawks
hawks receives mephnick from canucks
winnipegjets receives darnfox from detroitredwings
winnipegjets receives akschreibs from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives PuckTheFreds from winnipegjets
/detroitredwings receive Half Pints Brewing Co.
/winnipegjets receive lockers from Joe Louis Arena, to be used as the overhead compartments
canucks receives jmorga33 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives offline_dude19 from canucks
canucks receives a bag of pucks from bluejackets , and promises to take them down to Seattle and use them to break Starbucks windows
losangeleskings receives sweetstrife from bluejackets
bluejackets receives Mootux from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives im_turning_into_moss from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives Bhelliom from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives Boii1209 from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives WorldRallyBlues from losangeleskings
The Rainbow Bar and Grill moved to Columbus. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame moved to Los Angeles. Harvey Weinstein lifetime banned from entering Ohio.
/sabres receives Mercpool87 from /penguins
/sabres receives DL757 from /penguins
/sabres receives armagev17 from /penguins
/penguins receives shadowzeak from /sabres
/penguins receives Uncle_Gazpacho from /sabres
penguins receives the city of Buffalo, and the Buffalo Bisons u/armagev17 receives a full NTC
hawks receives spicy-succ from newyorkislanders
hawks receives PracticallyCanadian7 from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives IAmQueensBlvd31 from hawks
/NewYorkIslanders receive courtiebabe420's old Jay Cutler jersey
/Hawks receive TheBossJarhead's old John Tavares jersey
penguins receives cgreen727 from coyotes
coyotes receives BoBandy35 from penguins
coyotes receives TheStigofKentucky from penguins
coyotes receives brendan0305 from penguins
coyotes get Phil Kessel's old house for u/bonzaijoe
penguins get an old Phil Kessel hotdog wrapper for u/armagev17
coloradoavalanche receives Freaaak55 from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives SlipperyInNet from coloradoavalanche
goldenknights receives AnAngryAnimal from wildhockey
goldenknights receives CommanderCorndog from wildhockey
wildhockey receives moosepile from goldenknights
Minnesota sends Mild hot sauce to Vegas. Vegas issues a written apology for having done it to GMCF so hard in the expansion draft
flyers receives pelliffe11 from devils
devils receives MrMeSeeds from flyers
Flyers also receive Apple Watch to log "fitness"
canucks receives thronelol from caps
canucks receives mataleon07 from caps
canucks receives camelCaseNoob from caps
caps receives IGotThisFromEbay from canucks
caps receives Crazymoney74 from canucks
caps receives spacppl from canucks
caps receives flyingsub from canucks
caps receives BraqAttack from canucks
bluejackets receives FewWatermelonlesson7 from wildhockey
wildhockey receives AntiPrince from bluejackets
Minnesota admits that they are not, in fact, Canadian. The Blue Jackets admit that the Cleveland Indians ownership is dumb and stupid.
goldenknights receives svartkonst from dallasstars
goldenknights receives scoutcjustice from dallasstars
goldenknights receives FuckItHaveAnUpvote from dallasstars
dallasstars receives Sumdood88 from goldenknights
And a promise to get Drokeep out of Philly
detroitredwings receives quantumking_ from wildhockey
detroitredwings receives Zushenko from wildhockey
wildhockey receives Detonation from detroitredwings
DET acquires: Burning Brothers Brewery
MIN acquires: 5 lbs of mackinac fudge
sabres receives TurtleWithATail from canucks
sabres receives MirandaGemini from canucks
canucks receives KEWLCactus from sabres
Vancouver receives both the American and Canadian sides of Niagara Falls.
Buffalo receives 2000 lbs of salmon (wild) and the rights to Seattle as a rival.
losangeleskings receives wyattgbert from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Arelfel from losangeleskings
/detroitredwings receive Angel City Brewery
/losangeleskings receive a random parking lot attendant
penguins receives Dragarien from detroitredwings
penguins receives drock21023 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives byfugWIN from penguins
/detroitredwings receive Croakers Brewing
/penguins receive an old concession stand from Joe Louis Arena
detroitredwings receives Gamogi from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives LLbnjt99 from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives rdayrien from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives saltydingus from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives Ohgodwhatisthisidont from detroitredwings
edmontonoilers receives iFuktUrMom from detroitredwings
edmontonoilers receives BylerTertuzzi from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives the Alley Kat Brewing Company.
habs receives NontransferableApe from bluejackets
bluejackets receives Toaster_Coaster from habs
bluejackets receives gryff_ from habs
hawks receives BoltsGoalieGirl from tampabaylightning
hawks receives DoinWhale from tampabaylightning
hawks receives xW52 from tampabaylightning
hawks receives KatWantsToBattle from tampabaylightning
hawks receives J_Mark13 from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives GRAIN_DIV_20 from hawks
tampabaylightning receives drmatt19 from hawks
tampabaylightning receives freezend from hawks
tampabaylightning receives burtsreynoldswrap from hawks
tampabaylightning receives keister_TM from hawks
TB receives: The best Chicago deep dish pizza for the staff + a shipment of Old Style
CHI receives: The best Cuban subs for the staff + a shipment of Yuengling
dallasstars receives Drokeep from flyers
flyers receives Sumdood88 from dallasstars
goldenknights agrees to renounce all present and future claims to Bryce Harper
dallasstars recieves Chance the Gila Monster from Vegas
tampabaylightning receives CluelessNuggetOfGold from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives canbehazardous from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives DarkRitNighthawk from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives SlenderSpenser from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives Datsyuk1998 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives westofvenus from tampabaylightning
detroitredwings receives SuperSniper4 from tampabaylightning
detroitredwings receives deeyaz from tampabaylightning
/detroitredwings receives Cigar City Brewing
/tampabaylightning receies a C8 Corvette in blue and a case of Vernors
goldenknights receives obelisk29 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives cm17cm17 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives MrTubzy from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives justincase_2008 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives lorenzovonmaterhorn from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives GhostlyPixel from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives Hollywood_Zro from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives WoomyNgyes from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives Byers346 from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives KelaSaar from goldenknights
TB receives: Tickets to a Vegas show to be named later
VGK receives: Future Considerations

One more roundup before we leave, alas. Regions are still super approximate. I updated some previous rankings as well.
Tallies: 137 in the Denver metro; 66 in the rest of the Front Range; 33 in the rest of the state. We've visited a total of 236 breweries, cideries, and meaderies in Colorado.

The Rest of the Front Range

• 300 Suns (Longmont): This brewery served me both a smoked cherry sour (YES) and a red ale with a distinct barf aroma, so I'm really split here. Overall, I'm not excited.
• Avery (Boulder): Say what you will about their distributed lineup, but their taproom has some of the cooler small-batch brews out there. We got to attend their invitational twice; it's one of the best beer fests around.
• Berthoud Brewing (Berthoud): The better of two options in this tiny town. That's not saying much.
• Black Bottle (Fort Collins): Big tap list with lots of variety, usually good, sometimes uneven. I once found a lichtenhainer on tap here. I may have squealed.
• Black Forest (Black Forest): Surprisingly good brewery in a tiny forest town just outside the Springs. Better-than-expected beers, sizeable lineup, nice people.
• Brues Alehouse (Pueblo): I guess they're the best thing I've found in Pueblo, but that's a backhanded compliment if ever I gave one.
• Buckhorn (Loveland, RIP): A brewery the size of a small living room with 4-5 beers on tap. The brewer came and chatted with us for a while and seemed like a super nice guy. They made some really cool stuff, including a no-boil, no-hop lacto stout that blew my mind. They shut down not long after we went.
• Cerberus (Colorado Springs): A highlight in the Springs with very good food, too.
• City Star (Berthoud): Nice tap list on their website seems to be months old. Neither of us cared for their actual lineup much.
• Cogstone (Colorado Springs): Friends told us to go to try their chips 'n' salsa beer, which, yes, does taste like chips 'n' salsa. We didn't love anything here.
• Colorado Mountain Brewery at the Roundhouse (Colorado Springs, multiple locations): Bland gastropub with blah beer.
• DC Oakes (Fort Collins): Standard-issue brewpub with its own beer. Nothing to write home about.
• Dostal Alley Casino & Brewpub (Central City): Central City is a gorgeous Old West mountain town where the soulless casinos now seem to outnumber any sort of non-sleazy business. Naturally, when we found a casino with a built-in brewpub boasting GABF medals for their dry stout, we went. Unsurprisingly, the place was sleazy and crappy, with a few phoning-it-in beers and slot machines built into the bar.
• Dratz (Loveland): They were brand new when we visited, and very nice. The beer was... not good. Hope they work out their initial difficulties.
• Echo Brewing (Frederick): Just three weeks after visiting, I remember nothing at all about this brewery, but my Untappd ratings of their handful of run-of-the-mill styles were low. Evidently I wasn't impressed.
• Elevation (Poncha Springs): Does this still qualify as the Front Range? I flippin' adore Elevation, makers of the single best pilsner I've ever had. One of the very best middle-of-nowhere, small-town breweries I've been to.
• Elizabeth Brewing (Elizabeth): Small-town brewery in conservative Douglas County. Pretty meh throughout.
• Equinox (Fort Collins): Pretty good, nothing amazing.
• Estes Park Brewery (Estes Park): Unremarkable.
• Fieldhouse (Colorado Springs): Everything was really middlin'. Tons of dogs, which is always a bonus for me.
• Finkel & Garf (Boulder): Solid, but didn't live up to the hype for me. Seems like they just play it ultra-safe.
• Florence (Florence): Solid with a large tap list in a tiny town far off the beaten path.
• Fossil (Colorado Springs): Solid, but unexciting. Super duper nice people.
• Funkwerks (Fort Collins): Oh, hell yeah.
• Gilded Goat (Fort Collins): Nice, not amazing.
• Goat Patch (Colorado Springs): We finally visited when we were stuck in the Springs after a blizzard closed all roads back to Denver. Pretty good, not amazing brewery in what looks like a former high school converted to gentrified hipster mall space.
• Gold Camp (Colorado Springs, apparently no website): We felt a bit guilty because we got to meet their fabulously nice brewer, but just didn't care for their beers. They seemed closer to homebrew quality at the moment.
• Great Storm (Colorado Springs, RIP): Really nice with some unusual styles and creative ideas. Friendly people. Closed soon after our visit; now Atrevida Brewing.
• Grimm Brothers (Loveland): Cool taproom, some really nice beers.
• Grossen Bart (Longmont): I was kind of disappointed. A lot of beers seemed really off style or just unremarkable.
• Gunbarrel (Boulder): Good IPAs and a nice rosemary beer.
• High Hops (Windsor): Gorgeous patio with view of hop field and gardening center, with a small distillery attached. The beer isdecent, not remarkable.
• Industrial Revolution (Erie): I wanted to like them, based on their shtick. I think we left all of our beers unfinished. Nope.
• Intersect (Fort Collins): Unabashed hipster taproom with piles of old records. Nice folks. Beer generally good, nothing great.
• Iron Bird (Colorado Springs): Nice, but largely unremarkable.
• Jessup Farm Barrel House (Fort Collins): My surprise favorite find on our second CO vacation and one of the very best wild/sour breweries around.
• Kettle & Spoke (Boulder): We kind of just wound up here because they're down the street from Redstone. We found a tiny taproom inside a bike shop with some of the best IPAs in recent memory, and a fantastically nice brewer who offered us an impromptu tour of the production space.
• Left Hand (Longmont): They're exceptionally solid, and I wish they'd strut their stuff a little more. Their Juju series of ginger brews has a special place in my heart.
• Local Relic (Colorado Springs): An experimental brewery in a gorgeous old church that prides itself on never making the same beer twice. They blew our minds the first time we went, and we were in their expensive-ass beer club for a while. Their "no repeats" philosophy unfortunately means that they frequently have several super similar batches on tap at once, a lot of their beers could really use a trial run, and they often bottle things before they're ready. After a few too many bottle bombs and undrinkable yeast shakes, we pretty much stopped going.
• Locust Cider (Boulder): The standard cidery model where everything's inoffensive and the business model is "bring that friend who doesn't do gluten." I just don't care about this form of cider at this point, but they do it just as well as everyone else.
• Loveland Aleworks (Loveland): We like Verboten more, but these guys are another fabulous Loveland spot.
• McClellan's (Fort Collins): I don't care much for British styles, but we enjoyed the beer, food, and a great conversation with a member of the brewing family here.
• Nano 108 (Colorado Springs): Tiny taproom that we really liked in 2015. We went back in 2018 and found some stellar options (their rauchbier omggggggg) and several brews with off-flavor issues. Come for the German styles here; I'm not crazy about their IPAs.
• New Belgium (Fort Collins): Did the tour, visited the taproom. They seem like a good company that just embraces inoffensiveness a bit too hard. Then they sold out, and now I haven't bought anything from them in years.
• The Old Mine (Erie): Good cidery in a gorgeous old brick building in a tiny town.
• Open Door (Longmont): Had good lagers and saisons here. Super nice people in a chill spot.
• Periodic (Leadville): At 11k+ feet, this must be the highest craft brewery we've visited. OK beer, spotty service.
• Phantom Canyon (Colorado Springs): Great beer and service the first time we came, mediocre at best the second time, and only OK ever since. Food is pretty good.
• Redstone (Boulder): Likely the biggest of the tiny handful of meaderies currently in CO. Their stuff trends sweeter than I like, but they have some cool varieties (sunflower mead = yes) and wonderful taproom staff.
• Rocky Mountain (Colorado Springs): Long-running brewery on the outskirts of the Springs. Some sugary sours and hard lemonades that weren't up my alley, along with a very good barleywine. We chatted with the brewmaster for a while, who was a super nice guy.
• Royal Gorge (Cañon City): The only brewery in town and one of few places to grab a bite. They only had one or two of their own beers, which were homebrew quality. Keep driving.
• Shamrock (Pueblo): Like everything about Pueblo, this place was a total disappointment.
• Soulcraft (Salida): Another pretty good small-town brewery a few miles from Elevation.
• St. Vrain (Longmont): Really excellent cidery with multiple ginger ciders and great guest taps.
• Timnath Beerwerks (Timnath): Extremely solid, nice people. They're also more or less down the street from the Swetsville Zoo, one of my favorite roadside attractions in the state.
• Tommyknocker (Idaho Springs): Gimmicky and never better than all right. Two blocks from Westbound & Down, which is the indisputably better option.
• Trinity (Colorado Springs): I've no idea how it took me several years to get to the only brett-focused brewery I've ever found. Huge, consistently good tap and bottle list, great food with good veg options, nice staff. My best brewery find in the Springs to date. They sold in 2020, and we haven't been back since.
• Twisted Pine (Boulder): Solid with some interesting ideas, including a good basil beer.
• Uhl (Boulder): They took over Wild Woods' space in 2020 and opened during the shutdown. They had a few promising weird options, including an unexpectedly lovely peanut butter beer.
• Verboten (Loveland): Our absolute favorite in town. Creative, irreverent, and spot-on.
• WeldWerks (Greeley): I fussed for so long about wanting to come here that it was inevitably kind of a letdown when we finally went. Their beers are good, make no mistake, but definitely not "drive an hour and a half to get it" good.
• Westbound & Down (Idaho Springs): Another hypey place. The beer, food, and service were all good on our first visit but sorta uneven on subsequent trips.
• Wild Cider (Longmont): Standard-issue, above-average cider. Lovely outdoor seating with a gorgeous mountain view.
• Wild Woods (Boulder, RIP): We stumbled in during their anniversary party and loved them. Their smoked yam beer rocked my world. They sadly closed in 2019.
• Wiley Roots (Greeley): ... and now I'm going to contradict the above statement re: WeldWerks directly. Wiley Roots, just around the corner from the above, is worth that drive. Their wild ales are lovely, and while their adjunct stouts can be hit and miss, they're immensely solid overall. Massive pluses include an unusually nice taproom crew, a fluffy brew cat with her own Instagram account (@midnightbrewcat), and the lovely Syntax Distillery next door.
• Zwei (Fort Collins): Kicks the crap out of Denver's Prost as far as I'm concerned. Good beer, great people.

The Rest of Colorado (South, West, Central)

Current category tally: 33

• Angry James (Silverthorne): Pretty much anywhere I go on the way home from the stellar Outer Range isn't really going to get my heart rate up, but we enjoyed our stop here.
• Animas (Durango): Nice and solid; nothing exciting here. Food isn't great.
• BierWerks (Woodland Park): Most of their taps were other people's beers, and the couple of in-house brews we managed to try ranged from so-so to not good. Oh, and they have a Nazi map on the wall for some damn reason!? Ute Pass across the street is an all-around better option.
• Breckenridge (Breckenridge): Macro brewery in the "guess you have to go once" category. The beer was exceedingly mediocre, food was so-so.
• BREW Pub & Kitchen (Durango): My favorite in Durango tbh. Oh, and their food is good, too.
• Broken Compass (Breckenridge): Solid.
• Carver (Durango): Nice people, good brunch. Their beer won't blow your mind, but it's usually solid.
• Casey Brewing and Blending (Glenwood Springs): We bought tour tickets and made a weekend trip out just to go to Casey. My affection for sours is on a steep downward slope, but Casey is stellar, and the tour was delightful and totally worth doing.
• Colorado Vineyards/Rocky Mountain Winery (Palisade): Including them here because they make a lot of mead, which I like, but don't love.
• Eddyline (Buena Vista): Middlin', IPA-focused place in the horrifically named Byoona Vista.
• Glenwood Canyon (Glenwood Springs): One of those breweries that only seem to stay in business because they have a central spot in a tourist town. Nothing interesting here.
• Guanella Pass (Georgetown): Most of the beers we tried were yeasty af. No love from me.
• High Alpine (Gunnison): We stopped here after a trip to Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park, out of our minds with natural beauty. The beer was, unsurprisingly, nothing to write home about, but the food was outstanding and the staff was delightful.
• Highside (Frisco): It's hard to look good when you share a ZIP code with Outer Range. Run-of-the-mill small-town brewery with food, nothing to write home about.
• Mad Jack's Mountain Brewing (Bailey): We pulled off 285 here one afternoon to get out of the rain. Small tap list and tiny tap room, but pretty good beer and a killer food truck out back.
• Main Street (Cortez): Another small-town brewery with not much going.
• Meadery of the Rockies (Palisade): The better Palisade meadery. Again, they like their mead sweeter and gloopier than I do, but it's lovely in small quantities.
• Mr. Grumpy Pants/Ourayle House (Ouray): I like the guy and his shtick a bit more than the beer, but it's definitely the better brewery in town.
• Ouray Brewery (Ouray): The douchey tourist trap option in beautiful Ouray.
• Outer Range (Frisco): The hype is real. ORB makes hands down the best NEIPAs I've ever had, and a stunning range of them. "Downside:" NEIPAs are basically all they do. They have a couple of Belgians, but if you're not into hazy IPAs, this place really isn't for you.
• Palisade Brewing (Palisade): Solid, unexciting.
• Paradox (Divide): One of the best sour-focused breweries around. They may have the most stunning mountain view of any brewery I've been in this state, and that's saying a lot.
• Riff Raff (Pagosa Springs): One of those breweries where they put your pint down in front of you, you take one sip, and you're ready to head out.
• Rockslide (Grand Junction): Nice space, so-so beer.
• San Luis Valley (Alamosa): We stopped here on our way back from my birthday trip in 2019, which coincided with a blizzard that shut down the entire Denver metro. Their beer and food were forgettable, but the fact that I was worried sick about getting home to our pets (we didn't until 24 hours later) the whole time we were there didn't help matters.
• South Park (Fairplay): We stopped here to escape a crazy cloudburst. Beer was OK, food was OK, neither was anything I really need again.
• Steamworks (Durango): Ranges from really good to barely decent. Decent food.
• Telluride Brewing (you guessed it - Telluride): Quite good brewery with nice people in one of the more picturesque mountain towns out there.
• Three Barrel (Del Norte): Ah, Colorado. Where else do towns of 1,700 in the middle of nowhere have breweries with sahtis and sours on the menu?
• Two Rascals (Montrose): Unremarkable.
• Ute Pass (Woodland Park, RIP): This brewery had four different wits on tap, including two black wits.
• Vino Salida (Salida): Yes, tiny Salida and Poncha Springs have two good breweries, a distillery, and a meadery. Dayum.
• Wolfe (Pagosa Springs): Pleasant small-town brewery.

It has been said that the Mountain West conference is “At the Peak,” and to me, nothing illustrates that more, than the fact that there are 12 teams competing in the only NCAA Division 1 conference that sponsors e-sports. Of course, since the matches are played head-to-head, Boise State has an advantage because they tint the monitors blue, and play with all blue avatars; an advantage that is confirmed in their winning of League of Legends and Overwatch, but with the Spring season being cut, next year the Mountain West has announced that they will be playing Mario Kart 8, for the Nintendo Switch. Due to the large amounts of people in the Mountain West cities suddenly having $1200 burning a hole in their pocket, every store that sells Nintendo Switch has sold out of their allotment; yes, even, Amazon. So, thus the conundrum becomes: How can these players, prospects, and ordinary people practice in order to “git gud” as the gamers would say? Well, that’s where I come in. For, you see, since I am allowed out on the streets again, finally, due to both my prison sentence being cut short, and my work being determined to be “essential,” I had the time to scope out some places. Alas, while my cough and fever are not improving as much as I had hoped since I last got back from Italy, I did manage to find some time to visit all of the Mountain West cities in order to find the easiest place to get a Switch and Mario Kart 8 location. For simplicity’s sake, I am going by the football stadium since it’s a well-defined point in most locations – San José State fans, the football stadium is that big ovoid building at the corner of E Alma Ave, and S 7th St… It’s the place where the people aren’t on Saturday’s is September. Should you get hungry during your travels, I have also managed to find a some breakfast locations in the same vicinity

Mountain

Air Force

Okay, so I lied a little; I tried to get into the university, but, unfortunately the men with guns wouldn’t actually let me get beyond the gate on S Gate Rd, and I was still a little jet-lagged having just gotten in from Frankfurt after having woken up for my 0610 flight for the Linate to Frankfurt leg (stupid weather prevented the flight from Denver to ABQ, but my loss is your gain). So, while this may not be the closest, it certainly will fit the bill. Tyler-Jay Rowland who lives at 3075 Navigation Drive, in Colorado Springs was more than willing to help out, especially since his son, Jeremiah, was grounded for a month for staying out after curfew two weekends in a row. As the falcon flies, this location is 5.2 miles away; in a car, it’s not too much further than that.

Boise State

Now, I don’t, technically, hate the way that Boise is laid out with the river running right through the center of town, but even though Maci Drew lives in the Clearwater Apartments, unit 323, which is in a straight line, only a quarter of a mile from the stadium, you will have to go the Exxtramile, to get to her apartment. Also, she would like me to point out, that times for a waitress like herself are a little rough, so please, if you’re hungry, skip Taco Bell, and eat at the Bar Gernika in downtown Boise, right next to the Central Plaza and Century Link Arena. “We have wifi” she said.

Colorado State

This is, by far, the most remarkable location; I had completely forgotten that they moved to an on-campus stadium, so I initially went to the Hughes Stadium location, and found a big pile of dirt. And not much else – well, if you exclude the trees that formed a nice line, that brought me back to my college days. Having corrected my too old Garmin in-car GPS, I found Tim Thatcher on 604 Balsam Ln; he’s a little deaf, so you might need to knock like you are ram-ing down the door. He bought the Switch after his wife of 35 years died to help him grieve and spend his retirement, “but it’s just making me too sad lately, and I’ve never been very good at vid’ya [sic] games. I still don’t know how I’m supposed to save the princess when she’s trying to beat me… That reminds me of my princess, who I lost last year. She was so kind, we met in high school, I had an onion on my belt as was the style in those days. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.” I’ll be honest, at this point I started zoning out because, again, fever. He honestly looked really sad as I was talking to him, so you might want to try to cheer him up, since he’s just a lonely guy bein’ a dude. In a straight line distance, you’re only going .3 miles, and it’s not too much further by car.

New Mexico

This is by far the closest location to the stadium. The UNM Lobo Club is a non-essential business in the state of New Mexico, and UNM and the Athletics Department realized that funding would need to be cut dramatically throughout the state, and with the sweetheart deal they got from the legislature this year, they decided to close all athletic facilities, including the Maloof building, home of both Eddie Nuñez’s office, and the Lobo Club. I suggest using the side door closest to the field level entrance of the stadium. That’ll take you to the weight room; an alarm will go off, the code is “1892” the year the football team first played (interesting tidbit: the marching band was founded in 1889, the same year as the university); from there enter the main hallway, and go to the first door on the left after you pass the restrooms. The last time I was there, they had a vending machine that dispensed free Mountain Dew; I was howl-ing with laughter after I found that. Also, if you see Señor Manta, say “Hola!” he’s been down on his luck since his family were killed in the accident, and now he wanders the street like a lone Lobo.

Utah State

It was like a bomb went off. No one was around; maybe they were busy playing Farmer, or having a bonfire out in the dirt behind the stadium, wit their brown-eyed girls, but Jeff Field’s dorm room, Aggie Village Community building 17, first floor, third window from the right (he leaves it unlocked, so don’t worry about access) has a Switch just sitting there on the bed, as though he borrowed it from someone, but never managed to return it before he left. Go on, take it, just say that it was yours and he left it, no one will check.

Wyoming

Cowboys and Cowgirls are just different, I guess; I could not find a Nintendo Switch in town for the life of me. I found many Switchblades, Light switches, and many wooden rods, so I took my horse down to Cheyenne, and found a recently laid-off Subway Sandwich Artist called Dom, who knew just where to look. He directed me to 803 West 21st St, Suite B. He told me, “yeah, the guy who runs this storefront, has a little son, about 6 years old. He keeps a Switch in his desk’s keyboard tray for when he picks his son up from school.” Because of the ordeal in Laramie, I asked him to clarify, and he did, “yeah… Nintendo switch.” He said as he looked around shiftily. If that doesn’t work you can always try Suite C, I heard they stock Switches… oh wait, not that kind.” I was going to ask him for more information, but he entered what looked like an abandoned brick building just passed the railroad tracks, “You didn’t see me,” he said. And I also didn’t hear the gunshots that went off as I walked back to my car.

Table View

School	Distance Driving (mi)	Straight Line Distance (mi)	Drive/Drone Difference	Variance (from all schools)A
Air Force	8.44	5.22	3.22	0.047
Boise State	1.00	0.282	0.718	1.069
Colorado State	0.420	0.312	0.108	1.792
New Mexico	0.206	0.191	0.015	1.920
Utah State	0.444	0.305	0.139	1.751
Wyoming	47.90	40.69	7.21	4.894

A: Variance is calculated based upon DDD’s distance from the standard deviation of DDD… Why DDD? Because, DDD is King.

West

Note: SDSU currently does not field an Esports team; I am including them because it seems likely that they will in the near future

Hawai’i

Hawai’i is interesting because the Honolulu airport has a much better open air location than the El Paso airport; there’s a water path, it’s weird man, it reminds me a lot of the Tiki Room at Disn… oh, yeah, Hawai’i, Polynesia, that makes sense. Anyway, the stadium is home to the largest swap meet’s I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, I did not find any Switches, but I did find a guy swapping Macadamia Nut cookies for a few dollars, so naturally, I bought some. It started to rain, so even though many people are Rainbow Warriors or Wahine, as the women prefer to be called, I am not. I stopped in at the ‘Aeia Public Library for a spell, and my phone was dead, so I needed a place to charge for a bit. The nice librarian, Akela (“it means graceful,” I was told. After I asked, “like the wolf-spirit in Hindi myths?”), pointed out, that, “We loan out all sorts of stuff here; pots, pans, sewing machines. Believe it or not, we even rent out video game systems. Our most popular is probably the Nintendo Switch, but we also have a couple of Xbox’s and PS4’s.” I guess I looked very shocked because Akela continued, “with the military surrounding us, we, the library system, get a lot of goods from contractors who don’t want to have a lot of their goods shipped back to the mainland.” Seeing how much it cost to ship out, I completely understood, and bid ¬¬Akela aloha, and failed the Hawai’I test by passing out at the nearest Embassy Suites, in Kapolei, if I remember correctly (I probably don’t, I was tired).

Fresno State

A nice cow brought me to Clovis. Much like what happened in Las Vegas, it was not the cool one, but instead the one in California. She (I saw udders), brought me specifically to 264 Clovis Ave, and said, “what you seek, from my master, is in there.” I’m not sure if it was my fever, jet-lag, a combination of them, or something else entirely, but then the cow vanished as though she was just a thing on the internet. A stray puppy passed by me in downtown, so that was probably the highlight of the trip.

Nevada (Reno)

Look, I’ll be honest, Reno to me always makes me feel like I’m going to be leaving the city without one or both of my kidneys. I don’t know why I expect Renoirs to chew my body like a Pack of Wolves, but there you are. Diedre Thomas of 128 Keystone Ave, fell on hard times. She poured herself a glass of vodka, neat, and said, “you can have anything you want,” she paused briefly to wink at me, “for the right price.” I specifically enquired about the Switch, “Anything,” she replied. She pulled out what appeared to be a small glass bowl that looked like an incense holder, and a baggie of chalk dust, and… Oh my god, she was going to smoke cocaine. Anyway, as she pulled out the pulled out the baggie, I hastily took my leave. I then went to the airport and went to my next stop….

Nevada – Las Vegas

Can you believe parents still bring their children, like elementary school aged children to Las Vegas. And it’s not the cool Las Vegas, in New Mexico, it’s the one in Nevada; well, I guess, technically they bring their kids to Paradise, and not Las Vegas, but c’mon man, there isn’t that much difference. Anyway, head to the Excalibur hotels because Carla, the housekeeper said that on average 3 Switches get left by guests every day. I then felt really depressed while walking around the hotel, so I left to check out the Mirage, where I normally stay on these Mountain West trips. I also learned that if there’s one thing that freaks me out more than the throngs of people walking the Strip, it’s when there’s nobody around. Once the new stadium gets completed it will be vastly easier to get to the casino than at the current location.

San Diego State

I stayed with Dominic, at his house of Friars Road. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach with the lack of green chile, so it was so enjoyable to spend time with a fellow New Mexican (and my roommate junior year). He took me on a little tour: Balboa Park’s stadium (home of the former Harbor Bowl, and the first tie in UNM Football history), the USS Midway, and Ocean Beach. I had forgotten about the assignment until I looked down at my feet and found a working Switch. When it was still there after an hour, I borrowed a small boat, realised, I need a bigger boat and headed out to the Ocean. Having claimed rights, I then put it back, so you might also find it.

San José State

Look, there are a lot of people who depart from the San Jose Airport. The kids who travel on these flights are slightly scatter-brained because of the adrenaline of taking a plane ride (and passing through the checkpoint), and leave some of their electronics, and I found a shoe! A shoe! Who only puts one shoe on and then walks-off? It was an adult shoe, so it’s not like a child/toddleparent left it, no, someone made a conscious decision to leave their shoe… Maybe it was a protest? Anyway, just tell the guy that you left your Switch at the checkpoint, if he asks you what color it was say, it had yellow grips that slide off, but the screen was bounded by black.

Table View

School	Distance Driving (mi)	Straight Line Distance (mi)	Drive/Drone Difference	Standard Deviation (all schools)A
Fresno State	4.46	3.28	1.18	0.644
Hawai’i	1.420	0.696	0.784	1.001
Nevada (Reno)	2.410	1.69	0.720	1.067
Nevada – Las Vegas (SBS)b	18.426	8.93	11.258
Nevada – Las Vegas (NVS)c	2.125	0.590	1.535	0.391
San Diego State	9.861	8.08	1.78	0.252
San José State	6.575	4.60	1.975	0.164

A: Variance is calculated based upon DDD’s distance from the standard deviation of DDD… Why DDD? Because, DDD is King.
b: Sam Boyd Stadium
c: New Vegas Stadium (Allegiant Field)

Conclusion

Even if the stores are sold out of Switches, there are always places you can go to get them, some are definitely within walking distance of your house, maybe even right next door. If you do choose to do that, there are a few things to keep in mind: 1. Milk 2. Eggs, specifically from Natural Grocers, if they still have member pricing. 3. Chicken thighs
Wait, that was my grocery list for last week.

1. Basque food is amazing.
2. The addresses are real, any businesses mention are real; the people mentioned or alluded to (with exception to the person who has an office in Clovis, CA; and Dominic in SD) are fake.
3. No, I do not know who lives at the addresses, and unless you can look it up in the phone book, I recommend that you don’t either. Please don’t bother them.
4. No, I am not sick… I have a lingering cough from allergies to junipemesquite pollen.
5. I have not visited Colorado Springs/Fort Collins/Laramie/Reno/San José/Honolulu, yet.
6. Information for the other cities comes from my memory
7. I remember when Park MGM was the Monte Carlo
8. Is Secret Pizza still at the Cosmo? I don’t remember seeing it the last time I was there, but that might have been because I was on the wrong floor.
9. Toss a coin to your witcher.
10. Normal people stop listing things at 10, but
11. This list goes up to 11.

I created a timeline of the Bureau's history leading up to Control, as described in documents, multimedia, cutscenes, and NPC chatter. It includes all the known Altered Items, Objects of Power, and AWEs, plus significant events from Control and Alan Wake. The most surprising thing I discovered was Trench was living with the Hiss in his head for 17 years before the events of Control. Talk about a slow burn!
I'm really excited to share this! I combed through every collectible in the game, so it took awhile to put together. Do you see anything interesting or surprising? I'm also happy to accept edits or additions with a source.

Year	Events	Source
1915	The owner of the Victorian Mirror (AI60-UE) becomes fixated with it and is admitted to a mental ward.	Case Files: Mirror Supplement
1923	The population of Hoer Verde, Brazil, mysteriously disappears in a possible AWE.	Multimedia: America Overnight Ep. 349
XXXX	The FBC, or a group that will eventually become the FBC, is formed.
1954	The Oscillator (AI3-KE) is acquired. William S. Powers, Head of Department of Public Knowledge and Diversions, creates the legend of “fan death” in Korea.	Case Files: Fan Supplement
1952	Carl Jung publishes an essay on synchronicity.
1959	The Research Department at the FBC is created by Dr. Theodore Ash, Head of Research. He wants to expand on Carl Jung’s work on synchronicity. The Game Hammer (AI5-BE) is acquired.	Research: Synchronicity, Case Files: Hammer Procedures
1964	The official, public-facing year the FBC was formed. The Oldest House is discovered while FBC agents are investigating a suspected AWE in the New York City subway tunnels. The Service Weapon (OOP1-KE) is discovered inside the Oldest House. Northmoor binds it, and the room in which it’s discovered becomes the Director’s Office.	Correspondence: Visitor Evaluations, Multimedia: The Oldest House, Research: Service Weapon
1965	The Hotline (OOP3-UE) spontaneously appears in the Director’s Office. Northmoor binds it.	Research: Hotline
1967	The Waist Mannequin (AI7-KE) is discovered in Maine.	Case Files: Mannequin Procedures, Case Files: Mannequin Supplement
1968	The FBC makes the Oldest House its official headquarters.	Multimedia: The Oldest House
1970	Thomas Zane and the eruption of the Cauldron Lake Volcano are investigated in Bright Falls, Washington.	Case Files: Bright Falls Summary
1974	The Floppy Disk (OOP5-KE) is stolen from a Soviet military base by the CIA, then transferred to the FBC. The Arctic Queen (AI10-KE) is acquired from the Grand Central Hotel in New York City.	Case Files: Floppy Disk, Case Files: Refrigerator Procedures
1976	The Old Gods of Asgard create moonshine with unfiltered water from Cauldron Lake and use it to give their songs power. The FBC investigates them. The Ocelot’s Anchor (AI11-UE) is acquired from the wreckage of the White Ocelot.	Alan Wake, Case Files: Bright Falls Summary, Case Files: Anchor Supplement
1978	Parautilitarian Alan Wake is born. Odin and Tor Anderson, the Old Gods of Asgard, are investigated again in Bright Falls, Washington. An FBC intern picks up the Hotline and dies.	Alan Wake, Case Files: Bright Falls Summary, Multimedia: Hotline
1979	The Benicoff TV (OOP7-KE) is acquired in Kansas. The Smoking Pram (AI13-KE) is acquired in Paris, France.	Case Files: Benicoff TV, Case Files: Pram Procedures
1980	The Holiday Memories Tree (AI14-AE) is acquired from a Canadian research station on Ross Island, Antarctica. Identification Formulas are discovered.	Case Files: Plastic Tree Procedures, Case Files: Plastic Tree Supplement
1983	The Swan Boat (AI19-KE) is acquired on Vancouver Island, Canada.	Case Files: Swan Boat Procedures
1986	The Jasper Post Box (AI31-PE) is acquired in Jasper Crossing, Arizona.	Case Files: Post Box Supplement
1989	The Ashtray and Cigarette (OOP11-KE) is acquired and bound to Trench.	Case Files: Ashtray and Cigarette
1990	America Overnight, an FBC-funded radio show on superstitious topics, starts broadcasting. (“Broadcasting the truth […] for 29 years and counting.”)	Multimedia: America Overnight Ep. 352, Multimedia: America Overnight Ep. 356, Multimedia: America Overnight Ep. 359
1991	Parautilitarian Jesse Faden is born.
1992	Parautilitarian Dylan Faden is born. The Butte AWE (AWE-17) occurs in Butte, Montana. Agents discover a light switch cord that takes them to the The Oceanview Motel and Casino for the first time.	Case Files: Butte Summary
1993	The Emergency Call AWE (AWE-18) occurs, where a woman is trapped in a phone.	Emergency Call Summary, Emergency Call Supplement
1994	The Guru Surfboard (AI43-PE) is acquired from the home of Chester Bless.	Case Files: Surfboard Procedures
XXXX	Dr. Casper Darling, Head of Research, is hired. (Note: This is based on Darling saying, “I’ve been here 24 years now.” That would be 1995 if it were recorded in 2019, but it may have been recorded earlier.)	Multimedia: Research Sector
1996	Alan Wake, 18, publishes his first short story.	The Alan Wake Files
1997	The Pink Flamingo (AI46-KE) is acquired.	Case Files: Pink Flamingo Procedures
1998	The Merry-Go-Round Horse (OOP16-KE) is acquired from an abandoned amusement park after a tip from America Overnight.	Case Files: Merry-Go-Round Horse
1999	The Red Light (AI49-KE) is acquired.	Case Files: Traffic Light Procedures
2000	Alan Wake, 22, gains international recognition for his first Alex Casey book. Jesse Faden, 9, discovers the Old Gods of Asgard album Rebirth through her father.	Alan Wake, Research: Album Cover
2001	The Rubber Duck (AI52-AE) is acquired from an FBC agent’s home. The Simulacrum (AI53-KE) is acquired from inside the Bureau.	Case Files: Rubber Duck Procedures, Case Files: Water Cooler Procedures
XXXX	Trench loses his daughter, Susanna, to an unknown paranatural illness. His wife, Kate, leaves him. Trench creates the Panopticon, a "maximum security prison" for Altered Items.	Hotline: Prime Candidates, Hotline: Panopticon, Langston cutscene
XXXX	Trench creates the first Northmoor Sarcophagus Container, NSC-01, while he is still Deputy Chief. Northmoor uses his abilities to make the power plant disappear in a possible escape attempt. A new power plant, NSC-02, is built with improved restraints. Northmoor is placed back inside.	Research: NSC
XXXX	Trench picks up the Service Weapon and is “promoted” to Director by the Board.	Hotline: Northmoor
XXXX	Trench implements the internal lockdown security protocol requiring directorial override. (Note: Trench says this happens in his first few years of being Director.)	Hotline: Internal Lockdown
XXXX	Trench creates the Prime Candidate program, but P1 through P5 are “dead ends”.	Hotline: Prime Candidates
2002	The Bremen Basket (AI54-UE) is acquired. (Note: This document contains an addendum from 1997, suggesting the acquisition date on file may be incorrect.) The Ordinary AWE (AWE-24) occurs in Ordinary, Wisconsin. Dylan Faden, 10, and Jesse Faden, 11, discover the Slide Projector at the local dump. The town’s adult population disappears. Dylan is interviewed and abducted by the FBC. Jesse escapes, guided by an extradimensional entity she calls Polaris. The Slide Projector (OOP15-UE) is acquired.	Case Files: Picnic Basket Procedures, Case Files: Ordinary Summary, Case Files: Slide Projector, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 1.A, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 1.B, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 2, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 3, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 4.A, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 4.B, Completed Missions: Directorial Override, Hotline: Prime Candidates
XXXX	Trench leads an expedition into Slidescape-36. A lingering Hiss resonance burrows into Trench on the first expedition. Darling discovers Hedron. (Note: A photo of Hedron appears in the background of Darling’s videos about Dylan, so Hedron was discovered before Dylan killed the agent.)	Multimedia: Slidescape-36, Hotline: Slidescape-36, Multimedia: Hedron
XXXX	Threshold Kids is developed to give Dylan a kid-friendly introduction to paranatural topics. Dylan is bound to the Floppy Disk. (Note: There is no explicit documentation about this, but NPC researchers in the Executive Sector reveal P6 was more gifted at launching objects than Northmoor. This ability also matches the P6 Victim Autopsy report.) Dylan is the most gifted parautilitarian the Bureau has ever seen, but kills an FBC agent with his new abilities. Marshall advises Darling and Trench to stop training Dylan.	Executive Sector NPCs, Research: Threshold Kids Proposal, Research: P6 Victim Autopsy, Multimedia: Ordinary
2003	The X-Ray Light Box (OOP18-PE) is acquired after an incident in a hospital. It is used to facilitate Astral dives in the Astralnaut program.	Case Files: X-Ray Light Box, Research: Astralnauts Information
2004	“Get Well” Balloon (AI58-KE) is acquired from the child’s ward of a hospital.	Case Files: Balloon Procedures
2005	The Victorian Mirror (AI60-UE) is acquired in Illinois.	Case Files: Mirror Procedures, Case Files: Mirror Supplement
2006	The Albany AWE (AWE-29) occurs in Albany, New York. The Human Hand Chair (AI63-KE) is acquired.	Case Files: Albany Summary, Case Files: Hand Chair Procedures
XXXX	Emily Pope is hired as a Junior Researcher. (Note: She describes the Ordinary AWE as “before [her] time” in a cutscene, so she is hired at least a few years after 2002.)	Emily Pope cutscene, Research: Pope’s Promotion
XXXX	Dylan Faden kills more FBC agents. Darling is heartbroken and creates the Dimensional Research department. He moves the Slide Projector there for extensive study. (Note: This happens after Emily is hired, because Darling mentions she may be suspicious about his new project.) Trench creates the Ashtray Maze.	Multimedia: Dylan Faden, Correspondence: Dump Cessation of Work Order, Hotline: Ashtray Maze
2008	The Ramen Lantern (AI69-KE) is acquired.	Case Files: Paper Lantern Procedures
2010	Jesse Faden, 19, starts therapy. The Wolff Globe (AI72-PE) is acquired in Toronto.	Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 1.A, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 1.B, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 2, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 3, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 4.A, Research: Ordinary AWE Stage 4.B, Case Files: Globe Procedures, Case Files: Globe Supplement
2010	The Bright Falls AWE (AWE-35) occurs in Washington. The Oh Deer Diner Coffee Thermos (AI73-UE) is acquired. During the Bright Falls AWE, Clay Steward appears in Bright Falls and fights the Dark Presence alongside Alan Wake. He wakes up in Madison, Wisconsin, believing it was a dream.	Case Files: Bright Falls Summary, Case Files: Thermos Procedures, Alan Wake
2011	Clay Steward writes The Alan Wake Files. The FBC flags him as a minor parautilitarian.	The Alan Wake Files, Case Files: Bright Falls Supplement
2014	The Moving Letters (AI77-KE) are acquired. The Home Safe (OOP22-KE) is acquired in Ohio.	Case Files: Letters Procedure, Case Files: Home Safe
2016	The Sterling AWE (AWE-46) occurs in Sterling, Colorado. A hollow, stone-like sphere manifests in a field. Alberto Tommasi, Head of Communications, is hired.	Case Files: Sterling Summary, Research: Tommasi’s ID, Multimedia: America Overnight Ep. 356
2017	Lin Salvador, Head of Security, is hired. The Havana AWE (AWE-48) occurs at a US Embassy in Havana, Cuba.	Research: Salvador’s ID, Case Files: Havana Summary, Correspondence: Tomassi: AWE Report
XXXX	Emily Pope is promoted to Research Specialist.	Research: Pope’s Promotion
2019	The Willow AWE (AWE-XX) occurs in Alaska. Like the Sterling AWE, a hollow, stone-like sphere is among the recovered items. The Typewritten Page (AI83-KE) is acquired from the Oceanview Motel and Casino. Polaris asks Dylan for his help, but he refuses. Jesse Faden dreams that Polaris is calling to her from New York and she starts traveling. Trench stops using the Hotline. A month later, he uses the Slide Projector to open a door for the Hiss. Jesse arrives in New York City.	Correspondence: Approved Technology Reminder, Correspondence: Tommasi: Willow AWE Outcome, Research: Willow AWE Shipping Manifest, Case Files: Typewritten Page Procedures, Case Files: Typewritten Page Supplement, Multimedia: Hedron, Multimedia: Therapy: Jesse Polaris, Research: Dylan Faden Transcript, Research: Hotline Security Logs, Research: Jesse Faden Movement Tracking

Oklahoma City's event list.

Wednesday, Mar 4th

• Achieving Wholistic Health (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 11:00am Cindy Merrick, certified physical therapist from Therapy in Motion, will share expertise demonstrating several exercises and discuss the importance of good posture and healthy nutrition. This program will involve some exercise. Registration is not required. This project is funded through the Oklahoma Department of Libraries with a federal grant…
• 🎭 Anastasia (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Inspired by the beloved films, the romantic and adventure-filled new musical ANASTASIA is on a journey to Oklahoma City at last!
  From the Tony Award®-winning creators of the Broadway classic Ragtime, this dazzling show transports us from the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s, as a brave young woman sets out…
  
• 🍴 Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
  
• Bi-Weekly Meetup (51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm
  
• Oklahoma City Blue vs. Memphis Hustle (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am Watch NBA basketball in OKC, and provide an educational experience for students! The Oklahoma City Blue, the NBA G League affiliate of the NBA's Oklahoma City Thunder, will be playing a Field Trip Day game at Chesapeake Energy Arena on Wednesday, March 4. This unique game experience pairs the excitement of NBA basketball with an educational…
  
• 😂 Brandon Patrick (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City)
  
• 🎨 CAC Film Series and Lunar Sooners Present: Interstellar (Storm Shelter Plus - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Enjoy free food while watching Interstellar! Brought to you by CAC Film Series & Lunar Sooners!
  
• Chamber Ambassador Meeting (Del City Chamber of Commerce - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:30am
  
• 🎓 Community Baby Shower (Firelake Arena - Shawnee) Start Time: 10:00am Citizen Potawatomi Nation Workforce & Social Services hosts a community baby shower at FireLake Arena on Wednesday, March 4. From 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., attendees can enjoy refreshments, learn about community resources, participate in educational sessions, win door prizes and more. The event is free and open to the public to honor pregnant mothers…
  
• D2L Foundations (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 9:00am
  
• 🎨 deadCenter Docs + Art Moves (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 2:30pm Join us for our FREE series of deadCenter Documentaries! Screening at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. 01/24 | Sweethearts of the Prison Rodeo (2009 / 90 min) Director Bradley Beesley 02//28 | Beauty is Embarrassing (2012 / 88 min) Director Neil Berkeley 03//27 | Dealt (2017 / 85 min) Director Luke Korem 04//24 | Tower (2016 / 82 min) Director…
  
• 🎨 Disney's The Little Mermaid (The Sooner Theatre - Norman) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm In a magical kingdom beneath the sea, the beautiful young mermaid, Ariel, longs to leave her ocean home to live in the world above. Based on one of Hans Christian Andersen's most beloved stories and the classic animated film, Disney's The Little Mermaid is a hauntingly beautiful love story for the ages. With music by eight-time Academy Award…
  
• Freedom Oklahoma Lobby Day 2020 (Oklahoma State Capitol - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:30am Sign up, show up, and speak up! Join us and Oklahomans For Equality at the Capitol at 9:30 for advocacy training. We'll break into groups at 11:00 to visit representatives' offices, followed by lunch sponsored by our friends at Dell Technologies. Please RSVP using the ticket link
  
• FREE Team Trivia (Othello's of Norman - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Join us at Othello's every Wednesday for FREE Team Trivia! Hosted by Challenge Entertainment, every Wednesday the fun is at Othello's! Play solo or bring a team of friends. There is no cost to play. Prizes available for top three finishing teams.
  
• 🎭 Having Our Say (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Celebrate the story of a century with 103-year-old Sadie and 101-year-old Bessie, famously known as the Delany sisters. From the old Jim Crow South, to renaissance Harlem, and ultimately as a professional teacher and a dentist, respectively – their stories weave a rich tapestry of lives lived triumphantly. While making dinner (live, on stage)…
  
• 🎨 High School Open Figure Drawing Night (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 6:00pm
  
• 🍴 Junction Coffee Wednesdays (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00am Wednesdays, 7am-3pm Junction Coffee will park its double-decker bus curbside at the Devon Lawn
  
• Reading Wednesday (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Reading Wednesdays Every Wednesday, at 10 am The Visitor Center FREE Best for ages 2 to 5 NO READING WEDNESDAY ON DECEMBER 25 AND JANUARY 1 Bring your toddler for story time each Wednesday at 10 am. Books are nature-themed and selected based on the season. We’ll begin with an interactive song and children will enjoy creating a small craft…
  
• 🎓 Tech Workshop (Edmond Chamber of Commerce - Edmond) Start Time: 8:30am Speakers Jennay Wangen and Stephen Dayton, Back40Design Topic: Optimizing Your Google Listing RSVP Required; Cost: Free Presented By: Back40 Design https://www.chamberdata.net/webforms/EvtListing.aspx?dbid2=okedmd&keyword=5491767
  
• ♪ Trippie Redd (The Criterion - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  
• ♪ Vladimir Lande and Siberian State Symphony Orchestra (Armstrong Auditorium - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto and Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade, two of the most evocative works in classical music, are paired in this all-Russian program featuring violinist Pavel Milyukov. Direct from Krasnoyarsk, Russia, the Siberian State Symphony Orchestra embarks on an 8-week U.S. tour commencing in January 2020, under the direction…
  
• 🎨 Weatherschool (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City)
  

Thursday, Mar 5th

• ♪ ACM@UCO High School Night (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 6:00pm
• 🎭 Anastasia (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Inspired by the beloved films, the romantic and adventure-filled new musical ANASTASIA is on a journey to Oklahoma City at last!
  From the Tony Award®-winning creators of the Broadway classic Ragtime, this dazzling show transports us from the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s, as a brave young woman sets out…
  
• 🎨 Art Moves: Rachel Lynch (Mary Eddy's Kitchen x Lounge - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm Take a break from the work week and enjoy lunch with a side of music at Mary Eddy’s Kitchen x Lounge with folk singer-songwriter Rachel Lynch. ABOUT ART MOVES Art Moves is an Arts Council OKC initiative that provides free arts events in downtown OKC each work day from Noon-1:00. Events may include artist demonstrations or musical performances…
  
• 🎨 Brown Bag Lunch Series: Andy Warhol Did Western Art? (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm Join Seth Hopkins, Executive Director, Booth Western Art Museum, as he explores Warhol and the West and the range of Western imagery Warhol produced. New scholarship will examine how Warhol’s Western work merges the artist’s ubiquitous portrayal of celebrities with his interest in cowboys, American Indians and other Western motifs. His work…
  
• Champagne & Oysters (Boathouse District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm The third annual Team OKC Champagne & Oysters fundraiser will be Thursday, March 5 inside Devon Boathouse. The evening is full of champagne, fresh oysters flown in from the state of Washington, and a live auction. All proceeds benefited USRowing National High Performance Center athletes. Tickets are $45.
  
• 😂 Chris Porter (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Mar 7th
  
• Cody + Jess (VZD's - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:30pm Cody + Jess return to VZD's on Thursday March 5th at 8:30 pm!
  
• ♪ Concert Series Benefit Night (Historic Campus Corner District - Norman) Start Time: 5:00pm Come join us for some food! Restaurants TBD.
  
• Cosi fan tutte (Reynolds Performing Arts Center - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm OU University Theatre and School of Music present Così fan tutte. Mozart’s sparkling music amplifies outrageous humor as well as the heartbreak of da Ponte’s cynical comedy. The story revolves around two wealthy, but rather innocent, young sisters and their fiancés who are enjoying a summer vacation in Venice. Their wedding plans are…
  
• 🎨 deadCenter Docs + Art Moves (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 2:30pm Join us for our FREE series of deadCenter Documentaries! Screening at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. 01/24 | Sweethearts of the Prison Rodeo (2009 / 90 min) Director Bradley Beesley 02//28 | Beauty is Embarrassing (2012 / 88 min) Director Neil Berkeley 03//27 | Dealt (2017 / 85 min) Director Luke Korem 04//24 | Tower (2016 / 82 min) Director…
  
• 🎨 Disney's The Little Mermaid (The Sooner Theatre - Norman) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm In a magical kingdom beneath the sea, the beautiful young mermaid, Ariel, longs to leave her ocean home to live in the world above. Based on one of Hans Christian Andersen's most beloved stories and the classic animated film, Disney's The Little Mermaid is a hauntingly beautiful love story for the ages. With music by eight-time Academy Award…
  
• 🎨 Educators After Hours: Andy Warhol's West (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:30pm Socialize after hours during a free K – 12 professional development session at the National Cowboy Museum. Seth Hopkins, executive director of the Booth Western Art Museum and curator of Warhol in the West, leads educators on a tour of the exhibit, featuring Warhol’s Cowboys and Indians portfolio, the last major project before his death. It…
  
• ♪ The Emo Night Tour (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Imagine going to a show and hearing Taking Back Sunday, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance and many more, all only playing their best songs...all night long. Welcome to The Emo Night Tour. The Emo Night DJ’s will be spinning all the angst your teenage dirtbag heart desires all night long and make you feel like you’re at…
  
• 🎭 Eurydice (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Join us for EURYDICE by Sarah Ruhl on March 5–8, 2020 in the Black Box Theatre. Directed by Kelsey Bray. In Eurydice, Sarah Ruhl reimagines the classic myth of Orpheus through the eyes of its heroine. Dying too young on her wedding day, Eurydice must journey to the underworld, where she reunites with her father and struggles to remember her…
  
• 🎨 Gallery Opening: Shelly Presley (Edmond Fine Arts - Edmond) Start Time: 5:00pm I often call my world "The Dog and Pony Show" I have always loved horses and the companionship of dogs, my life would be incomplete without them. Painting beloved animals for people brings me great joy. I have shipped portraits to people all over the United States, making many friends along the way. Maybe I will see you at the next horse show.
  
• 🎭 Having Our Say (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Celebrate the story of a century with 103-year-old Sadie and 101-year-old Bessie, famously known as the Delany sisters. From the old Jim Crow South, to renaissance Harlem, and ultimately as a professional teacher and a dentist, respectively – their stories weave a rich tapestry of lives lived triumphantly. While making dinner (live, on stage)…
  
• ♪ High School Night! (ACM @ UCO - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm The Academy of Contemporary Music at the University of Central Oklahoma presents HIGH SCHOOL NIGHT, 6 p.m. March 5 at the ACM Live Room, 25 S. Oklahoma Ave., in Bricktown. Admission is free! LINEUP: • Downer • The Major Fifths • Dr. Deuss • Chloe Batson Doors open at 6 p.m. and music begins at 7 p.m. ACM@UCO presents Metro Music…
  
• 🍴 JAKE FM's Birthday Bash (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm The biggest birthday is back in 2020, and we’re going all out to celebrate Jake FM’s 10th birthday with Texas country legend Kevin Fowler! For more than 20 years, he’s been headlining honky tonks and beer halls all across the country, featuring hits like “Beer, Bait & Ammo,” “Long Line of Losers” and “Beach Please.” Dillon…
  
• 🎓 Let's Move! Discover the Power of Dance (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 6:30pm Join us for the first session in a five-week dance series. Professional dance instructor and choreographer Juan Cabral will lead this series to help you discover the dance within you and the power of moving naturally. Cabral will help participants gain confidence and skills to get out on the dance floor at your next big event. All skill levels…
  
• Lunar Ever After Tour in Oklahoma City, OK (Best of Books - Edmond) Start Time: 6:00pm Join Marissa on her Lunar Ever After Tour. See individual events for details and ticketing. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marissa-meyer-at-best-of-books-tickets-84053671795
  
• Marissa Meyer (Best of Books - Edmond) Start Time: 6:00pm Join Best of Books in welcoming Marissa Meyer to our store! The Lunar Chronicles are getting new covers, reveal coming soon! Tickets are required to attend and each ticket will admit one person. Additional books will be available for sale at the event. Marissa will personalize one of the new Lunar Chronicles titles and one additional book of the…
  
• Marissa Meyer: Talk & Book Signing (Memorial High School - Edmond) Start Time: 6:00pm Join Best of Books in welcoming Marissa Meyer to our store! The Lunar Chronicles are getting new covers, reveal coming soon! Tickets are required to attend and each ticket will admit one person. Additional books will be available for sale at the event. Marissa will personalize one of the new Lunar Chronicles titles and one additional book of the…
  
• ♪ Oklahoma Christian University Spring Sing (Oklahoma Christian University, Edmond, OK - Edmond) Start Time: 7:00pm Each year, OC's social service clubs and many other students come together to put on a musical variety show with choreography, singing, parody and friendly competition. Thursday night is dedicated to OC's faculty & staff, so come out and cheer on your students! Ticket sales will begin in February.
  
• Romeo & Juliet (Oklahoma Shakespeare In The Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm What if your first true love was someone youd been told to hate? Two young people torn apart by a divided society and forbidden love will risk everything to be together. The most famous story of love at first sight explodes with intense passion and an irresistible desire for change. Will this spark a civil war, or will division continue to tear…
  
• 🍴 Uncorked: A Wine Pairing Dinner (Skirvin Hilton - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Wine and dine for a one-time Wine Pairing Dinner in our very own Park Avenue Grill! Enjoy a night out with a speciality crafted six-course meal paired with wine from the line "Locations" by David Phinney, creator of Orin Swift Cellars. "Locations" is inspired from different regions of winemaking around the world, with grapes from France, Spain…
  
• When Worn: A Contemporary Jewelry Exhibition (Melton Gallery - Edmond) Start Time: 5:30pm
  

Friday, Mar 6th

• 😂 Chris Porter (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
• DelQuest Committee Meeting (Don's Alley - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00am
• JOHNNYSWIM VIP Meet & Greet Upgrade (Ticket Not Included) (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm This Meet & Greet VIP upgrade package does not include a ticket to the show. You must already have purchased a ticket if you want to purchase this package. This package does not include a ticket.
• ♪ Lauren Daigle (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm
• Trolls LIVE! (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Mar 8th Start Time: 6:30pm Any child who has celebrated their first birthday must have a ticket.
• Trolls Meet & Greet (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Mar 8th Start Time: 6:30pm Upgrade to join the Trolls Live! Meet & Greet Party! The Meet & Greet includes: Post Show Meet and Greet opportunity with Poppy and Branch VIP merchandise item and souvenir lanyard Sing-a-longs, exclusive photo ops and more!
  Please note: Each adult & child (age 1 & up) must have a main event ticket plus Meet & Greet upgrade ticket to attend. …
  

Saturday, Mar 7th

• 🏃 Adrenaline Run 5K & 10K (OU College of Pharmacy - Oklahoma City) Proceeds of the Adrenaline Run will benefit The University of Oklahoma College of Pharmacy through expansion of contemporary education, research and service. Through these funds the OU Foundation will help the college develop unique pharmacy practices, increase innovative research and encourage student development.
• 🏃 American Lung Association Fight for Air Climb (Leadership Square - Oklahoma City) Participants will challenge themselves to climb 2 towers totaling 70 floors of stairs, in honor of those we have lost to lung disease, or those who are currently struggling to breathe. The purpose of the Climb is to bring awareness to such lung diseases and raise funds for research and our health programs. An After Party and awards ceremony to…
• 😂 Chris Porter (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
• 🏃 Deer Creek Classic Community Festival (Deer Creek Intermediate High School - Edmond) All proceeds and benefits will Be given as a gift to families affected by Moore accident and long time PCO coach battling ALS. $10 untimed $15 timed mile runs
  www.ohstrack.com
  
• 🏃 DUCK Week 5K (Piedmont) This is a charity event to support our DUCK Week recipients who are children and families affected by a serious illness
  Online registration available or register the day of race
  https://www.duckweek.org
  
• 🏆 OKC Energy FC vs. Colorado Springs Switchbacks (Taft Stadium - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Gates to Taft Stadium open 1 hour before match time.
  Children require a ticket once they've reached their 2nd birthday.
  
• 🏃 Panera Beacon Run 25K, 15K, 5K (Lake Hefner East Wharf - Oklahoma City) This event is directed by the Oklahoma City Running Club. This is a great training opportunity for those planning to participate in the OKC Memorial Marathon or Half Marathon. Proceeds to promote healthy lifestyles through recreational walking and running. http://okcrunning.org
  
• Trolls LIVE! (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 6:30pm Any child who has celebrated their first birthday must have a ticket.
  
• Trolls Meet & Greet (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 6:30pm Upgrade to join the Trolls Live! Meet & Greet Party! The Meet & Greet includes: Post Show Meet and Greet opportunity with Poppy and Branch VIP merchandise item and souvenir lanyard Sing-a-longs, exclusive photo ops and more!
  Please note: Each adult & child (age 1 & up) must have a main event ticket plus Meet & Greet upgrade ticket to attend. …
  

Sunday, Mar 8th

• Trolls LIVE! (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 6:30pm Any child who has celebrated their first birthday must have a ticket.
• Trolls Meet & Greet (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 6:30pm Upgrade to join the Trolls Live! Meet & Greet Party! The Meet & Greet includes: Post Show Meet and Greet opportunity with Poppy and Branch VIP merchandise item and souvenir lanyard Sing-a-longs, exclusive photo ops and more!
  Please note: Each adult & child (age 1 & up) must have a main event ticket plus Meet & Greet upgrade ticket to attend. …
  

Monday, Mar 9th

I was unable to find any published events for Mar 9th.

Tuesday, Mar 10th

I was unable to find any published events for Mar 10th.

See Also

• OK Gamers
• Techlahoma