Virtual 2020 Grand National

!!!!DISCLAIMER:!!!!
Before you even start watching this for entertainment and see if you get offended by this un-P.C. content. Don't be a pussy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igsb3ejgbL8
If you can't handle it, leave this thread. If you can, then you may proceed to the next level.
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📰📜Story📜📰:
I've been scatter-brained, ire-filled, soul-searching and lost after a 7-day Degen Marathon that brought a shit load of misfortunes. I used to hate social media, but I've learned how to wield the soc. med. sword like a fucking Degen Jedi. I'm going to promote an honest cause where I seek to be victorious in the end. Just you watch you fucking doubters, haters, blockers, scammers. How much grit and intellect would the average fucking person have to endure what I've gone through in the last fucking 48 hours and still come out alive with a sense of greater purpose?
Had about $400 to $500 in righteously earned bonus dollars earned through impossible grinding degen mission that came pretty close to accomplishing (91%).
I would have had some imaginary >$600 BR by now, but instead the roll-over deadline caused the entire deposit to be forfeited and I manage to salvage some $100.
Due to a bonus rollover scheme, 80U of my balance was stuck in bonuses and if I fail to accomplish the roll-over by the deadline, it all gets forfeited.
With a $500-$600 balance, I could have somewhere at $900-1000 by now after a 20-2 W-L record on European football on Wednesday.
How did I get that record yesterday, by sampling a bunch of solid pre-game picks and live betting using my own fucking brain. I consult with the finest in capping. With $10-$20 bet sizes, That would have put me up maybe $15x16 = +$240 at minimum. $1000 was the imaginary bank roll. As of today, betting with $1 units, after Monday-Wednesday's successful run, while Tuesday was a -$50 blip, I converted $100 to about close to $200 (40U).
🤪🤑Psycho Betting🤑🤪:
I learned the art of psycho betting. Taking some well-advised 10U and 30U psycho bets that put my bankroll up a significant amounts, but a big loss does the opposite. Yesterday I manage to hit 4 grand 30U slams in a row, however many on juiced lines, so each $30 bet one returns about $15-20. Thus my bankroll grew nearly +100 units and sits close to $200 from the initial $100 I manage to salvage after that bonus robbery.
If you want to fucking learn the art of Psycho-Betting to the extremest and be successful at it, fucking put in $100 in Bovada (remember to use money that you can afford to lose) and get that fucking bonus for the purpose of looting the bookies in a successful vengeance scheme. This guy is a fucking Artillery: https://twitter.com/GoTimeCappers.
Fucking hit more than 4x30U grand slams yesterday and some 10-20U cherries on top. I tailed his free picks and other through consultation [Haha fucking reddit/sportsbook will probably ban me for promoting another tout, :)].Of course with my $1.5U size on a crippled bank roll, I cannot grow it to as much as I wanted to using GoTime's techniques. I would have been at another +$400 if I had $6 units. It's a high risk and high reward system, but if you are confident with your picks you go big on it. If you lose it, then you grind back with smaller 10U and 20U bets to try to get back to part to be able to do another 30U bet. The goal is to be like 2-1, 3-0 on 30U grand slams a day. There is some level of sustainability and back up plans to execute in case the 30U bet did not work out. It is very improbable for you to lose 10 in a row on well researched picks that the experts in the community have common agreement on. A lot of the times, the lines shift to reward you less for the pick since big money is already on the pick.
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!!!!!DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ BEYOND HERE IF YOU HATE MATH OR HAVE AN IQ OF < 89!!!!!
Use the chart on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_classification
Here is a Nice Calculation to do:
📚📑💻Stats 301 Question in Degenalytics💻📑📚**:**
Lastly I asked anyone in the past few days to do a Stats 301 question with Degenalytics Context: To fucking determine the probability that an avg Joe with a $100+100 Bonus Bank-roll or $500 + 250B bank roll can actually pull off the $3000/$7500 grind in some number of N months betting with supposedly 2 full months of real sports (N-2) getting Obliterated by COVID-19. I want you to give me an analytical calculation or a simulation of your work and give me all the possible scenarios.
Then give the final verdict of if that number converges to 0.000% or 100.00% that the average Joe would succeed his false-hope mission for a successful rollover.
In other words think of it like this: If the average joe bets his entire bank roll 12 or more times (roll-over is not x10 because of bookie juice), what is the probability that he will still end up in the green? Also assign a tilt probability factor that the Average Joe would go on some emotional tilt spree to end up bust again? And make it even harder by eliminating 2-3 full months of real sports (N-2.5) and having to bet on Bovada's limited shitty ass lines and shitty live odds.
If you fucking want to eliminate the -2.5 months, then allow the average joe the freedom to bet on N months of e-sports [hahah] and see where that goes.
I had a bad experience betting on e-sports for 2 months and only end up -15-20U. I'm not saying that I lost because I suck at e-sports betting or I tailed the wrong people. The Bovada lines are super shitty and limited. Most of the time, on live esports, all you see are dashed out lines as if they fucking know what the rigged result is and prevent people from doing hedge bets or try to bet opposite spreads when they are winning to guarantee an insurance 1-1 with minimal damage incurred to their bank-roll. The live betting experience on e-sports on the Bovada platform is so bad that you are guaranteed to lose in the long run. Fucking hell Bodog/Bovada even offered me a $250 deposit on 100% bonus after the Rudy Gobert day in Mid March. They advertised the joys and wonders of getting rich betting off esports.
I was so tempted to deposit, however I kind of over-slept and missed out on the dead-line so they closed the bonus offer. Pretty good relief that I did not fuck-up my real credit card and bank account by falling for that scam again. It was an accidental Grace of God moment to fucking avoid that E-sports deposit marketing scam.
BONUS Questions:
A: Calculate the number of months needed and number of successful bets required for the conservative degen 1u bettor to grind out the roll-over playing
$2.00 tug of war with the bookie.
B: Calculate the odds that a professional capper who knows how to adjust unit sizes (1u-5u), do parlays once a while, will succeed the roll-over in some
N-2.5 months or add some e-sports to have fun to keep the N factor.
C.1: Calculate the conditional probabilities for the bettor succeeding in the mission if on the first few days of betting:
i) He loses bet 1 for about $20.
ii) Wins bet 1 for about $20 to earn $17.5.
iii) Goes on a 3 game losing streak
iv) 5 game losing streak
v) Positivity case: The guy got lucky and nearly doubled his bank roll on a decent run from day. Up +100U or $200. [I'm sure that out of bad discipline the average Joe would still go -200U in the long run with a pretty high probability.]
C.2: Determine the mathematical scheme on how the Bookies can use your first few losses to eventually put you in a 60+:40- (Greater than 60% locked in bonus, less than 40% of your deposited money). Bonus:Locked funds ratio.
The Jinx-King answer: It converges to zero [hahaha], but I really am interested in know what other scenarios math and stats people have come up. And your mathematical approaches and formulae used to generate possible scenarios and probabilities. But I think it is safe to say that for the average Joe,the answer is 0.00% success rate. Bodog/Bovada knows this exactly and refuses to put a hiatus on the roll-over deadline. Instead they keep it going so that people can try to wager on e-sports and lose their entire bank roll. They are only interested it getting 100% of your locked funds so that they can buy expensive cruises, yachts, beach mansions, resort packages, etc in Aruba or some other tropical place. Where you got millions of desperate Americans, Canadians in struggling economies with lost jobs and zero positive cash-flow. About 10% or so or perhaps even more deposit money into off-shore gambling websites hoping they can roll-over their bank-roll some ridiculous number of times and make a few bucks to put food on the table.
In fact, it makes matters worst being jobless, having zero cash flow and having locked funds in scamming bookies. If you are not good at casino or sports-betting games, you would have:
A: Lose your entire deposit for failing to grind it out properly.
B: Not grind it out on time on whatever dead-line the roll-over was.
C: Even if you did successfully grind that shit out using conservative 1u betting and play $2 tug of war with the bookie, you will end up just wasting your time grinding it out for hours and hours on end. It would have been better for you to fucking find a job at some farm helping out with harvesting crops or work in meat plants so that food does not go to waste. I bet you I can make more money than your $2 tug of war in one a day picking off cans and bottles off the streets in some exercise walking/running/biking + collection routine then selling it to the recycling center for $0.05-0.25 a unit. Trust me at my university, I spot maybe about 50-200 empty/partially driven cans and bottles left on desks, lecture halls, the floor, libraries, work areas, etc. Supposed that I harvested that shit, I would be making $5-$20 a day collecting it all and going to the recycling center once every week.
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⚖Conclusions⚖:
The fucking company knows this COVID-19 closure shit and want to use it to their advantage to continue to rob millions of their customers. Last week, I tried to call customer service, chat help, email, etc. and management has spoken to plead my case to delay the roll-over dead-line in a pro-rated time frame so that customers with locked balances can resume betting with their full balance when Game 1 of any Major League Sport actually returns. They give me the same bull-shit over and over saying they decline my request. For what reason?

The terms and conditions written in fine print for accepting the bonus conversion challenge. "Rules are Rules."
They were aware my deadline of June 22 at 19:23 ET was approaching soon. They knew I was on a mission to salvage my bank roll before they yank out the 60-75U trapped in bonus balances (i.e. Ghost money). By the end of it, I realize I made a foolish mistake. Most of my wins were just from bonus money and I was rewarded $0.00 on righteous wins on expired bonuses.

Therefore Bonus money only earns bonus money which put my entire bank-roll in a 80:20 ratio where the bookies control 80U in ghost money. By the end of the roll-over deadline, they get to yank out 80U of my balance at the deadline and left me with about $100 (20U) bank roll to regrind.

They knew I was winning consistently making solid picks.

During my 110 hour marathon over the brutal grind of losing more than 70 hours of work, leisure and recreation; 35 hours of sleep; to a fucking impossible grind of trying to roll over some 60% of $7500 on sports I have little knowledge of capping (i.e. E-sports, Table Tennis, European football) after a few days of studying the game, I was picking up my stride to grind it to 91%. They fucking knew that if I had another day to grind, they would be coughing up +$600-800 of withdrawable balance to my account.
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Bio:😎📚🎓👨‍🎓
I am a Fucking PHD Candidate (2-6 months from graduating and not having to pay another round of BS tuition) who does a shitload of mathematics, statistics, simulations, mathematical physics, wrote scientific papers. I've won T.A. Awards, Government/Provincial/Institutional level scholarships, Conference presentations, with even Undergrad honors back in the day. DM me if you need a fucking CV to prove my fucking credentials.
Why am I able to write a lot of shit? Because my fucking brain operates on some max level Intel Xeon chip on overclock mode and I cannot do much to shut it down other than going to sleep. They only way is to write articles that I think might benefit the community.
I have a crazy interest in sports and Degen'ing. I love to fucking put action on sports games, be proud about making the correct calls on the outcome of games before it happens, and then boast to my circle of competitive friends about who's the fucking Boss. As tabboo as society think us degens are, I think this absolute BS. There is a pure enjoyment in watching sports and having action on it. It is nice to get paid beer money to cover a round for your buddies, or earn that rent money over a successful night of betting on shit you actually enjoy watching. Fuck I rather make $300 for one evening of enjoying sports rather than working a 9-5 dull job to try to afford rent/mortgage. If I can fucking pay off all my monthly expenses in 3 fucking successful nights of 3 hr sessions of sports matches, that would be ideal. I would take the lather over a 9-5 rat-race grind.
Overall I am "PRO" in the debate for local single sports betting bookies to be established in Canada. Get these fucking scamming off-shore books like bodog/Bovada who contribute only contribute "Bagel" to the Canadian Economy, but instead make it worst by scamming the masses of hard working or desperate people to leak out some sum of billions of dollars of national GDP. Probably the same applies to all American States, that people should not have to cough up their hard earned $$$$ to off-shore scamming bookies. I shall write an article about this later to justify my arguments later.
Ultimately I my goal is to obliterate or negate the influence of all the cons, scamming bookies, and false touts out there who are just interested in stealing people's $$$. To write out full studies on exposing their schemes in an objective lens.
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Calling me out: (Think I cannot track these pussy downvotes? I know you cowards 😂😜😎)
If you think I'm full of BS, then send me a personal DM to have a 1v1 argument the same way that Stephen A debates sports with Max Kellerman. You can downvote me or flame me with empty hate talk all you want on public threads. But don't be a fucky pussy by avoiding a debate with me. Trust me, I'm going to win and be the last one to state a real point that you will have no comeback for [haha]. Lastly, if you are open to discuss or debate with me about some issues, do some resarch/exploration, betting strategies, etc., I would love your collaboration in some projects I got going on.
Ultimately, I should help every honest worker strive towards Degen success or if not, just to purely enjoy putting action on sports games. If you are too full of yourself, then you are on your own, I bid thee adieu, and wish you all the best. However you will be absolutely declined to all services and counsel I work to provide to friends for free.
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Social Media📺🎬
Some extra Resource to how I got to this point in my mission.
Here it is for starters:
June 23, 2020: The Impossible Pursuit Reddit/sportsbook/Brag and Bitch (Tuesday)
June 24, 2020: Doubling Bank roll and rewarded Bagel: Reddit/sportsbook/Brag and Bitch (Wednesday)
June 24, 2020: How can you win 5 in a row and lose it all simultaneously? Reddit/sportsbook/What is your most impressive win?
Full Twiiter: https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5
All my media: https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5/media
Discord: ????? To be solved.
Challenges: Got a few right in progress now and a couple of drafts I am working on.
The Jinxking Crusade (In progress): https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5/status/1275516258822131714?s=20
Turns out many people cannot withdraw anything out of Bovada/bodog due to some website glitches. Will try to recover a bankroll to attempt a withdrawal, however I am likely to have the same issues too. They will make some lame excuse to not give me a cheque. Definitely no point of pursuing anything in bovada/bodog if they refuse to give you withdrawables. The goal is to get their website off outta here. As well as get them out of advertisements. They definitely pulled off some "Get the fucking money and run scheme" and you will likely not see your money again. GG
The Jinxking Challenge (In progress): https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5/status/1275661929940467713?s=20
Want to expose a bad tout who over prices the service and has a mediocre record? Tail and fade to call their their BS or mediocre non profiting record out. Also good for finding legitimate winners too. This will be a mission to expose shitty touts on Twitter the way Penn & Teller exposes BS in the market.

Wealth Formula Episode 217: Ken McElroy: What’s Happening with Multifamily Real Estate?

Catch the full episode: https://www.wealthformula.com/podcast/217-ken-mcelroy-whats-happening-with-multifamily-real-estate/
Buck: Welcome back to their show everyone. Today my guest on Wealth Formula Podcast is Ken McElroy. Ken's been on before. He is Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Advisor on real estate you know and he wrote these books called the ABCs of Real Estate Investing and The Advanced Guide to Real Estate Investing. He's written several other books including some in that are completely fiction and we'll get into that as well. Ken is also the founder and principal of MC Companies which is a real estate syndication company as well. Ken, again it's been a long time since you were on the show. Welcome back.
Ken: Yeah thanks Buck, great to be on. I appreciate it. New times we're in right now.
Buck: Yeah, yeah I know. I was excited to talk to you because I mean seriously it's kind of fun to talk to people who have seen more than a few cycles and then really talk about you know what's going on right now, I mean for perspective. But you know before we start that I mean listen most people already know who you are but for those who don't or maybe just read your books but don't really know much about MC Companies and kind of what you're doing yeah within the real estate realm, do you want to give us just a little bit of perspective?
Ken: Sure. I started like a lot of people and didn't know how to raise it and used my own to buy my first deal which was a 2-bedroom 2-bath that was years ago. Since then but you know we bought well over a billion dollars with a real estate and built to where a commercial multifamily group so we do apartments so we build them, buy them, renovate them, manage them you know and we're a general contractor. So we have about 250 folks that work for us in the management company and all we do is is buy multifamily. I also have some office and some self-storage and you know I've done those four years and you know where land development so all those things over a span of you know a short 30 years and you know learn a lot and along the way you know Robert Kiyosaki and I met gosh going on 20 years ago I guess, I was already well you know into the business and buying stuff and owning stuff and he asked me to write the book and I wrote a series of books and you know that took me out in a whole nother journey you know which was very fun.
Buck: Fortuitous in many ways for everyone involved.
Ken: Yeah it's very great everything the whole process has been a blessing honestly.
Buck: That's great. So you know having exposure to mostly multifamily you also mentioned some office and some of the other things that you're doing with this whole you know pandemic that we have, you know what's happened to your business? I mean you can never prepare for something like this, exactly like this because it was a truly, well listen, I think some documentaries might have predicted couple years ago but you know it's an event that we probably didn't see coming. So tell us about your business. What's happened in the last few months and how it's been going.
Ken: Well, first of all, I wanna first point out that these things happen. This one's a virus and you know it’s a little different, but the truth is this is an economic downturn or recession. You know a lot of very different things but very many same things and so you know probably the one that a lot of people will remember was 2008. You know when 2008 hit it was a bank bailout and as you know and Lehman Brothers and all that stuff happened during that time we were right in the fray as well and you know our first issue was to basically preserve the asset you know and preserve the investors and you know to maintain our mortgage payments and all that. And so we first reached out to our resident and said hey you know we know a lot of you maybe have lost your jobs and you know there are all kinds of things happening during that time and so we built a community around that and then we work with everybody. And so for us when this happened, we did the exact same thing. We just walked right back to the community of the people we at that time I knew I said something's gonna happen, I in no way could have predicted this okay you know the market was already super hot it was very, very hard to buy and you know been trying to buy for two years and you know we thought people were overpaying the last couple of years so we were kind of out of the market we were building and so we were kind of watching and waiting for some kind of an economic downturn to happen and just happens to be this and so for us we already were in place with reserves with excess cash you know and all those things sure but we didn't know when everything got a lockdown you know call it mid-march we didn't know how long it would last we didn't know if people would pay not pay you know I mean the government's telling people you know they couldn't open their businesses and weren't working all those kinds of things and we didn't know initially if people were going to get money. So you know all that did happen yet we ended up collecting ninety-nine percent in April, ninety-nine percent in May our occupancy has almost stayed the same, you know we’ve learned how to lease online virtually collect rent you know we were already moving that direction. The biggest issue although at the beginning but we thought okay you know we did stress tests on all of our projects and said you know which basically means expenses plus debt you know what's that breakeven occupancy so you know in some cases they were in the 40s and 50s because we're not heavily leveraged a lot of our stuff right and that is also by design you know things happen so if I can see falls ten percent 20 percent, you know I'm am I worried yes, but I'm not gonna lose anything, because you know this is part of preparation and owning things.
Buck: Got it so it's interesting that you mentioned basically the thing I've been telling a lot of business owners and investors around me as well, you know as you know you know our group Wealth Formula Investor Club is you know partnered with some others that you know like Western Wealth Capital and Dave steel and those guys and people have been really surprised at how strong you know these assets are performing they have essentially like you said pretty much you know ninety-nine percent performance of before Covid but it almost seems a little bit too good to be true in some respects right? Now I've been telling my my listeners that Covid 19 at least this initial part is it's sort of like an earthquake right and who survived this earthquake but there's also frequently in after an earthquake a tsunami right there's a tsunami like for example in Fukushima and then all of the sudden you have a nuclear reactor that goes down you have all of these after-effects and it seems to me that we haven't even really scratched the surface on that part, do you agree with that?
Ken: Oh completely yeah. The thing about real estate specifically you know if you think about it, real estate fills a need for the people, not the other way around. So you know it's only as good as who can afford it and pay for it. And so that's my big concern to be quite honest is gonna be September October right you know because them you know the stimulus money is gonna run out you know who knows how many businesses are gonna reopen we know we're over 40 million unemployed so I think it's somewhere between 30 and 40 percent or not so you know that's you know call it ten million twelve million more on top of the five-point that we started so you know looking at a 15 to 20 million person unemployment rate and I think the stimulus line is gonna go away. That's actually I think when you're gonna start to see you know basically who's swimming naked you know when the tide goes out, right and the government stopped funding employers and people you know you're gonna see as you know, I don't know if you follow personal savings, you know personal savings is the highest it's ever been since the 70s and that's because people are afraid. They're hoarding cash right now at the end of the day what people do, Buck, is they need a place to live you know and so they might downsize, they might double up you know there's all these things happening, but at the same time people are working from home and so they're setting up their home offices and their home communication you know so they need more space and so in a weird way roommates are actually moving out and getting two places yeah there's been a lot of unfortunately divorces during this time and so that's a real estate move to you know where one household goes to two. So there's all these things happening right now and you know I wouldn't want to be in high-rise in a city center but I think the garden style stuff that we do you know that you've been involved with about tremendous respect you know for David you know him for 20-plus years and you know what people don't know about real estate folks like myself like Dave is we pick up the phone and talk best practices you know we don't consider ourselves competitors at all yeah you know and so you know we're all one of the cool things that happened is we're on them I was on the board of the National Park Association on the Housing Association and I was on an email chain started off in in mid May or mid mid March oh my god there was hundreds of people on the sink and they were just sitting on her hey we're doing this we're doing that we're doing this it was best practices from all the biggest management companies and all the biggest landlords in the country and I mean everybody just stepped up and we're sharing you know here's how were handling this and people were doing Q&As out on this email chain it was awesome you know and being part of an association like that you know really we brought a lot of those a lot of those things to our own organization but we literally changed our company and had two week period.
Buck: Yeah and you know the other thing that I think it's worth mentioning because you know you talked about Western Wealth Capital and Dave Steele's business too and the market selection, I think was really fortuitous as well. I mean listen, I think we're always looking in areas that are you know not California typically or landlord friendly etc. I live in California and I have investors who live in California who are very worried because their California assets you know there's rent strikes and all these things going on, it's not necessarily the same across the entire country right now is it?
Ken: No gosh no, not even close. You know rent control was a thing literally before all this happened. And the reason that came up was because you know as landlords and management companies and owners and general partners we had incredible retros you know for a 10-year run okay you're all like I mean honestly if you bought something you know and then went on vacation you come back it's you know the rents are more like yeah you know it was not a complicated business, it's about ready to be a very difficult business and you're gonna start to see who the really good management companies are because there's a lot of strategies are in keeping people etc, etc and so you know I think that's what you're gonna see next is you know it's your gonna have fallout but for sure they're gonna be people that can't pay and I'm really concerned about my office and retail guys I got a lot of friends and you know they're really hurting.
Buck: So assume what you and I both have a hunch about the tsunami happens all right and we start seeing a lot of defaults in that case you know it just seems like the number of defaults would be so humongous, what does Fannie or Freddie what do they do in that scenario? I mean there’s already some forbearance options out there they're not terribly attractive and they also don't want to create sort of a moral hazard you know so what do they do? What do you think they'll do?
Ken: Well I think first you gotta take a look at the bubble that we are in you know as as the market got bigger and then and the balloon just got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, it comes out it comes down in the same way. So even though you know all we're hearing about on the news is all these things and you know what happens, Buck, it's like death of a thousand cuts literally. So the first thing they'll happen is you'll start to see concessions which you're already starting to see and you'll only see them in some markets versus other markets like you're obviously gonna see a massive vacancy in concession market in like downtown Seattle and downtown San Francisco in downtown New York for example because you have migration rolling out of there. You might have a row property you know 30 minutes away that's chock full, you know what I mean just right if no issue and so you're gonna what you're gonna see is you'll start to see concessions which is essentially rent loss you know you can call whatever you want but you know we're seeing in Scottsdale Arizona here we're on some of the new construction you know one building that just recently opened has 300 vacant units so they're doing two months free on a 12-month lease okay so you know that's $200 a month off right so that's Dennis so you're gonna start to see that. Now they might fill up based on that or they might not you know what I mean and so they'll start pulling down on the B's and then the C's so you know the A class first and as people also move into the B's you know cuz you know they want to save four or five hundred a month. So all that's gonna happen. But there's gonna be some some buildings that will you come' be completely surprised by and others that will just get hammered and it's almost all about migration and where people are moving and where they're going and whether or not there's enough people to fill the vacancies and so it's gonna it's it's gonna be hard to figure out but it will definitely happen. And then what will happen is you know the ones that any property that was based on a value-add strategy is in trouble so anything that was bought in the last couple of years that hey we're buying this for 150 thousand or one hundred eighty thousand a unit we think it's gonna be worth 200 210 for 220 and the rents are gonna go from 1500 to 1700 or whatever it is and we're gonna put 10 grand in those are in trouble because rent growth you know value adds are not happening right now. And so as a company we had about 10 million gone in renovations, I stopped it on March 15 I said no more renovations because I want to see and you know people aren't you know before like I said you know throw some new cabinets and new flooring and you know all the stuff in there and boom they were rented, it's a different time now.
Buck: You know I gotta ask you though it's weird and I know your business is typically now like A class and new construction right? What we actually have been finding the value add paradoxically I would have never believed this can but it seems to be still working in this sort of working class you know B-minus C-plus area it's really unusual. Do you think there's something just about the demographics here?
Ken: Yeah are you gonna find a value-add n somewhere that's working yeah right you know, but there as a general rule rent growth is not gonna have shirt over the next couple years and so yeah that's what value add is right you know it's and so you know call it classics or whatever you want to call it yeah you know the classic unit of what you bought is probably an option for a lot of people that are in the value add, they might move back in the class so you know is it possible of course.
Buck: You know what's interesting to me is that we, of course, are you know interested in real estate particularly multifamily, but if you look at the other markets out there right the other asset classes particularly I'm looking at the stock market, and I'm not a stock market investor and I know you're not big into it either, but you know you look at it and it's only about you know 10 12 percent off of all-time highs. Today I think despite being in the pandemic despite you know the social unrest across the US you've got a 500 point rise in the Dow. A lot of this I suspect and I think it's fair to say is because the investors have this sort of unusual confidence in maybe the Fed maybe in you know it not only in monetary policy but also in fiscal policy. What do you make of that? Because obviously markets are correlated to a certain degree right what do you make of that does that affect real estate at all if it seems like the equity markets actually are not taking a beating they may of course later on as well but let's assume that they just stay relatively stable does that make a difference to us?
Ken: Well there's no doubt I mean you know people park their wealth all over so you know we have you know 1500 investors or something and you know I mean these are folks that have with us they might have money with you know Dave you know they have money in some retail they have money in the stock market and they're heavily in equities you know they're all over the place you know everybody has their own investment strategy. So what we are hearing from our own investors is that a lot of them got clobbered in the stock market you know initially right and I don't know where they stand today, you know and everybody's got a different makeup on what they're invested in but the truth is when when people take a hit financially then they don't invest you know they're they're hunkered down and they're gonna meet you know that's what happened in ‘08 that's what kind that's what's happening now. You know it'd be very interesting it's gonna be very interesting to see you know how many folks are you know still on that list are able you know because some got really hurt some didn't get hurt at all probably so you know and we've heard all kinds of stories you know with like you like you could you talk to your investors all the time sort of week you know and we're on you know we have a full we have full time people were you know just talking to our investors right is all that so well you know we're hearing from them and a lot of them, yeah I mean we have people that said I need to sell all my shares because they got hurt and you know in the real estate is doing pretty well and they you know so we have that you know there's all kinds of scenarios it just depends on where people had their money.
Buck: Yeah let's I'm also curious to knowing that you guys are doing really well a multi-family our groups continue to be strong in terms of performance so far say this say this somehow miraculously we we have a relatively soft landing as we move forward here, does that, and then we don't have a lot of bumps because you know right now you know most good operators seem to be doing okay right? Is it possible that because of that and because of sort of that resilience that multifamily could see a paradoxical rise in prices after this all happens almost as a safe haven?
Ken: I mean anything's possible you know but yeah I don't think it's gonna happen yeah you know I think you got you know let's not forget the people who are renting from us are gonna be many of them are gonna be unemployed. Tight now they're propped up artificially no with cash from the government yep and you know they're gonna be you know that's gonna determine a lot you know those are real people a lot of them renters a lot of homeowners and a lot of business owners and you know what happens when the money stops? Those are the people that pay us so I I think that you know is it possible absolutely you know like I said you there's always you can find one property I'm sure that's very just fine. I will tell you the ones of mine that have done great are my senior properties because they're not really plugged in you know they're already getting their retirement money sure and you know we never they never missed a beat not one of them because you know they already have their fixed incomes already set up some of them are in the stock market but they had pensions and Social Security and all the other things that were rolling in for them. Those are the ones in our case that have done the best but we have properties that are heavily service-based you know restaurant tourism you know Airlines for example what are they gonna do? Right now they're furloughed they're getting money well what happens when they don't? So you know those are real those are real things that's I think real estate multifamily it's gonna take it in the chin you know in certain markets. Certain markets are gonna be great. You know like it's interesting I'm not a big fan of Cleveland personally but Cleveland Clinic is booming as you would imagine you know and so you know the I know friends that are buying there and they're killing it you know they're like oh nothing we have missed a beat there and you know I mean being a physician all right strong Cleveland Clinic is right it's gonna be based on that.
Buck: When will we know, like what signals to you that it's when it is time to buy? Because even when okay say as you and I both suggested that there are some defaults coming maybe in September and October you start seeing some defaults you start seeing some distress, but at that point is it still a falling knife? At what point do you know that it's okay to get back in?
Ken: Well I think that you know 2020 is gonna be observation time and you know if I want something for example bar and I'm having a tough time paying the mortgage, I'm talking to the lender right now and you know so I'm probably working on that and you know and so what happens is again death of a thousand cuts. The first thing that happens is the landscaper doesn't get paid when the advertising doesn't get paid then you know and it kind of works its way up and then you cut back on your payroll and then you know then now you basically have three things: you have your insurance your property taxes and your mortgage and you have to pay those and when those start to tank then the lender starts to get involved and then the foreclosure process can be you know wow. But most people in the multifamily space are not going to just come turn the keys over you know like an at home it's not that's not how it works right it's a slow progressive thing and they're gonna be working with the lender and trying to restructure the loan and you know can we get rid of principle and just still interest only and can we lower the interest rate can we put the forbearance on the back end and you know can we draw this out can we do that blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And so the lenders either gonna say no or yes and that's gonna put stress on the asset or not you know all the while the ownership groups gonna fire a management company bringing out another one fire another one bring another one on you know thinking that they can you know bring in some miracle. So all that's gonna happen and it's gonna happen this year next year and personally I wouldn't even start looking for about a year.
Buck: Got it so let's shift gears a little bit. You were nice enough to send me a copy of a book that you wrote and I was surprised because it was fiction. How did you get into fiction? Tell us about the book.
Ken: Yeah and thanks yeah well alright well I'll tell you first of all you know I think that's my sixth book and so you know there's books that are super technical how to do this, how to buy real estate, how do this you know, how to get a mortgage all those kinds of things. Nothing wrong with those they're great I have written those and a property management one you know to on real estate. And so what I wanted to do Buck, was I wanted to some of the best books ever you know Rich Dad Poor Dad, What Color Is Your Parachute?, Who Moved My Cheese?, you know those books and many others, they’re stories and you know and they have what we call you know staying power year to year to year. And you know sometimes like if you look at I actually own a publishing company too and so I've been able to watch and I've been in New York a zillion times and these book fairs and book shows and talked to publishers and authors and all that. The autobiographies they're you know they're kinda like they go up all done you know up down up yeah you know and then some books you know go for a long period of time and then there's people you know like Napoleon Hill you know that's more of a philosophy book you know that's you know continues to chug along really really well and same Rich Dad Poor Dad it was in that category and being good friends with Robert you know I said you know I obviously I said how do you you know how did you make that happen? He said well you just gotta take real business principles and stick him in his story you know like the Monopoly game. So that's what I was trying to do in this book was you know to work a story around you know real things are happening and boy I tell you the book’s just taking off so far you know I've gotten a really really good review from Publishers Weekly and you know people are loving in and then I would could have never time this had damn it cuz basically the books about a 50-year-old guy that loses his job at 50 you know and he doesn't have real assets and it's essentially with the books about and then his dad was an entrepreneur and he's trying to put his daughter through college and his ex-wife is an entrepreneur and you know he's like you know you went the whole corporate route and so you know so I was able to leave things in like inflation and currency you know like the printing of money even though I put it in the book and you know here we are. So stuff like that you know little things that happen in history that sometimes people forget and the best part is is it's all centered around a property that I own which is called Orchard Canyon it's a resort that I own in Sedona.
Buck: And the book is called Return To Orchard Canyon.
Ken: Yeah so it's a real resort. It's been around for 100 years in Arizona. It's kind of an iconic place and we were actually full for the entire year until this happened and then we return all those deposits and close and you know that's another asset that I own. I don't know if you know the real estate guys did a big mastermind book study with like a hundred people or something and then I did a zoom call for all of them and that was really cool to hear everybody's perspective ask me questions about why they put that in the book and why did you put that in the book and you know sometimes real estate books are technical and boring and so I was trying to open people's minds up through story.
Buck: Yeah fantastic night and obviously you know your commitment to education there and it's just you know understanding how best to teach people. You know speaking of education tell us about you know you've got some other educational channels right some other ways you can learn.
Ken: Yeah well I have another book coming out another ABCs of Buying Rental Property that's coming out in September. I started this YouTube channel just recently and that's taking off like crazy, you know and because obviously we’re on lockdown I'm like well it's time to teach people yeah you know and so obviously the and then https://kenmcelroy.com/ you know we've got videos and educational videos all that there but we've just been I've been on an education man I'm working on another book with Robert Kiyosaki called the infinite return you know which is fun as you know that's what you do yeah all right great I'm having fun right now just pop with this stuff out and like gosh I don't I just put a video on I got 350 views in two weeks or something. I don't know how that works but at least we’re having fun.
Buck: No that's great and obviously the one last thing that you left out was that if you're interested in finding out what Ken does on you know and becoming part of his investor list we have a lot of accredited investors in our group and make sure to visit, it's mccompanies.com right that's where you would sign up for you know if you're interested in investing with you guys?
Ken: Yeah thank you.
Buck: Yeah you bet. So mccompanies.com and I'm personally an investor with Ken. He's one of the few people out there I would trust my money with as well. Ken thanks so much for being on the show today it's been great having your perspective.
Ken: Buck, I always love your questions. You know you're always I think a little bit more I had than a lot of people you know you're trying to figure out and looking forward so I always enjoy being on your show so thank you.
Buck: Thank you. We'll be right back.

From fairy-wheels to loosing everything

[PI] Omaha: 2038 - FirstChapter - 4996 Words

The man swung the door open with a frantic shove, barely stopping short of tumbling into the endless void waiting on the other side.
"i tHink yOu Will fiNd yOurself hArd preSsed tO loCate a mEans oF eGress, Mr. LoMan,” crackled a discordant voice, resonating from everywhere at once, and yet nowhere at all.
The disembodied antagonist sounded human enough, but meted out syllables with a perturbed, unnatural cadence. The speech sounded foreign yet familiar, as though uttered by an entity who’d studied language exhaustively, but hadn’t ever attempted to speak aloud until this very moment.
The terrified man whom the voice addressed – Mr. Loman, presumably – scanned the empty hotel hallway. He saw only doors and doors and doors, stretching off into infinity on either side of him. A low rumble welled up from under the carpet, rattling the bones beneath his damp, sweaty skin.
Mr. Loman ran.
He ran for a solid minute before daring to look behind him. Even then, he risked only a quick jerk of the neck over the shoulder, sprinting all the while. The sight that greeted Mr. Loman forced him onward, despite burning lungs and aching knees.
The floor was collapsing.
Not even collapsing -- vanishing. Patterned section by patterned section, the hallway faded from existence, swallowed by a boundless oblivion.
“sO muCh timE wasted, seeKing eXternal trutHs, aS thoUgh tHe worldS wiThin oUrselves aRe noT alReady inFinte…”
The hallway ended abruptly, concluding with a single locked door. Mr. Loman tugged at the knob with an agitated groan. The door did not oblige him. The interminable blackness rapidly devoured the floor beneath his feet, swallowing both Mr. Loman and his screams as he tumbled into the darkness.
“wE All conTain multitUdes, mR. LomAn – eVen oNe Such aS yOu…”
Saturday, January 19th, 2038
Noelle King’s morning – like most of her better ones – started with a whisky-cut latte and a dead body.
She paced the limited quarters of the squalid motel room, looking for anything out of place.
Well, anything other than the corpse, obviously.
The poor, lifeless bastard lay slumped in a washed-out armchair, chin pulled to his chest, eyes still open, half-closed in death. But aside from the stiff throwing off the room’s feng shui, nothing else seemed amiss: no signs of a struggle, nothing bloodied, nothing broken.
That was bad news for Noelle and her partner, Charlie B.
A murder investigation could be rolled into several days' worth of expenses for their P.I. firm. Several weeks' worth, even, depending on how creative Charlie got with the accounting. Death by natural causes, however, produced far fewer billable hours.
And as it stood, cash proved the only effective means of keeping at bay the particularly ill-intentioned swarm of creditors, bookies and bankers who drifted into the agency’s orbit on an almost daily basis.
“We sure this is even a crime scene, Charlie?” asked Noelle, pouring more Seagram’s into her cup, further diluting the already nominal coffee-to-not-coffee ratio. “Could’ve been a heart attack. Or an overdose. Hell, I’ll bet you a year’s Basic that we find some cheap speed in the nightstand, right next to the Bible.”
“Oh, did you qualify for Basic Income when I wasn’t looking?” quipped Charlie, scanning the room through the Augmented Reality interface embedded in the lenses of his thick-rimmed eyeglasses. “So, we’re just turning over dirty motel rooms and hanging out with dead dudes for sport, then?”
“It’d be more of a sport than whatever that nerd shit was that you dragged me to last night,” shrugged Noelle, wrinkling her flat, broad face. She tugged open the nightstand, peering inside. Disappointingly, the empty drawer contained neither drugs nor divinity. “I can't believe people even bet on that stuff. Video games are not a sport. Period.”
“Oh, boy,” grimaced Charlie “where to even start with that…”
He made a grand show of dramatically rolling up the sleeves of his tattered, red hoodie, as if symbolically prepping to do some hard labor. Once the cuffs had been rolled all the way past his lanky forearms and up to his beady elbows, he held up a finger to count off each subsequent point:
“One — Rite of Champions if fucking awesome. Period.
“Two— You’re just pissed off because my winning bracket wiped every conceivable floor in every conceivable universe with your sad, didn't-guess-a-single-correct-matchup, little shit-show.
“And” he droned, dragging out the single syllable word for roughly the length of an actual sentence, “Three — Yes, this is a crime scene. Basically. During housekeeping rounds this morning, the Auto-HK bot declared foul-play and locked down the entire floor. The motel can’t legally rent out any second-floor rooms until there’s been an investigation, which the cops aren’t exactly clamoring to start.”
Noelle ran her hand through the longer half of her asymmetrically cut auburn hair, stalling as she attempted to find the words necessary to vocalize her frustration.
“Why would the cops not—“ Noelle stopped herself short, having already answered her own question. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Charlie! Is he undocumented?”
“Maybe,” he said, in a tone that clearly meant ‘yes.’ “Be honest, though – when I VOIPed you this morning, would you have agreed to traipse all the way up to North Omaha at 6 AM on a Saturday to investigate the possible murder of an undocumented John Doe?”
“Maybe” she said, in a tone that clearly meant ‘no.’
“Look – the cops are sending someone ‘when they can,’ ” said Charlie briskly, tapping the corner of his glasses to cycle different AR displays. “But if a ‘certified private contractor’ can rule out foul play in the meantime, then the motel can start booking rooms again and we get a little something for our troubles.”
Noelle grunted noncommittally, and then pressed her index finger against her temple. The subdermal neuro-implant beneath her skin whirred to life, and the iris of her left eye shifted from its natural green to a deep indigo. As her own AR software finished buffering, a familiar analytics grid filled her vision, painting the tiny hotel room with fine indigo lines.
Her private military corporation tech was leaps and bounds above Charlie’s homemade eyeglasses setup. Granted, Charlie had circuited and soldered his gear up himself, mostly by following online tutorials he streamed from The Mirror. Noelle’s augmentations came courtesy of a different time in her life, a darker period, and now served as a reminder that there were far more morally compromising ways to make a living than as a second-rate detective-for-hire.
Noelle started rifling through the corpse’s pockets. As she did, her implant sketched translucent magenta outlines across a virtual plane, drawing her attention to items of interest.
“Guys’ got no ID chip, no social metrics," Noelle mused. "And there's nothing in this wallet, except a Video Dome punch-card with one punch left 'til a free rental— which just screams fraud.”
She stood up and stretched. Her tall frame eclipsed the lamplight just so, plunging her comparatively diminutive partner into darkness. Noelle managed a half-hearted shrug by way of apology for blocking his light, which he neither accepted nor appreciated.
She wandered over to the bed and sat down, eyes flitting back and forth as she skimmed a hulking digital wall of lavender text.
“Neuro-scan shows no signs of poisoning, internal bleeding – any ‘silent killers,’ really. And aside from the obvious ailment of being dead, our friend’s medical records look clean. Squeaky, even.”
Translation: no leads.
“If this was actually murder, we're screwed, Charlie. You swore this would be an in-and-out job, not some true-crime-procedural, cold-case shit.”
“Weren’t you just moaning that this didn’t look like a crime scene?” scoffed Charlie. “Now you're angry that it might actually be one?”
He continued on with his rant while still sizing up the room, conflating both activities into a singular outpouring of frantic energy, like a noisy rooster pecking for feed. Between his overly animated manner, high-pitched voice and messy tangles of dark hair, Noelle felt that comparison especially apt.
“I swear, ‘Elle… The only times you’re happy are – “
Noelle held up a hand to cut him off.
“Charlie… if you do your annoying finger-listing thing again, I’m gonna start breaking them..."
“Eh,” he shrugged, “I only had one: when you can find any excuse to be miserable.”
Noelle rolled her eyes and continued searching the body. She found cigarettes – actual cigarettes – in the breast pocket of his hideously striped dress shirt, plus a broken, non-holographic smart phone tucked inside his faded sports coat. This guy was a relic, through and through.
“I'm fine working a body,” said Noelle, after the silence had calmed her nerves some, “but that tends to be a helluva easier if you at least know whose body it is.”
“Look... if we find enough to prove murder, but not enough to solve it, maybe we get a little creative,” replied Charlie with a malicious smirk. “Doctor up a tox-screen, leave out an empty bottle of bottom-shelf scotch and a few empty pill containers. Nobody’s gonna look too closely at the last moments of a literal nobody. Especially if we sharpen Occam’s razor, y’know?”
“Poetic,” said Noelle, mostly wondering why she’d even gotten out of bed today.
“I mean, sure… it sucks for this guy,” said Charlie, alternating between exploring a rare pang of conscience and actively suppressing it. “But in my 33 years on this planet, I have yet to meet someone with a torched ID chip who wasn’t a shitty person.”
“Says the guy who torched his own ID chip,” she zinged.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he replied with mock indignation. “Was what I just suggested not something a shitty person would do?”
Noelle's AR display piped up before she could. A small violet circle stretched into being, pinging about the back of the corpse's neck. The undulating wavelength display that accompanied the circle indicated the signal her implant had picked up was heavily dampened.
"You got something?" asked Charlie, reading his partner's face as her eyes narrowed in on the corpse's neckline.
"Yeah -- it's weak. Heavily obscured with a lot of noise, but there's something transmitting from the back of his neck."
"Man, I gotta get me some of that ATHENA tech," sighed Charlie. "Maybe I should've spent my 20's murdering kids all across the Third World, too, huh?"
She ignored him -- partly because that was just Charlie's sense of humor, and partly because he wasn't wrong.
Noelle reached forward, mentally activating the 300x3 metallic exoskeleton that strained beneath the sleeves of her black duster. The 300x3 added an additional 300 pounds of lift to a person's body strength, for periods of up to 3 hours -- thus the name. Charlie kept up with the latest exo advancements, always raving about the features of the 400x7 or the 550x3A. For Noelle's line of work, however, the twelve-year-old tech suited her just fine.
Noelle's exo groaned and creaked as she flipped the body around, but her gear always did that when she first fired it up. The violet circle of her AR display kept highlighting the back of the man's neck, but there was nothing there.
"Yikes," muttered Charlie, already stepping back half a pace. "Shall I prep for surgery, doctor?"
Noelle smiled, despite herself. She peeled the black glove off her right hand, revealing the cybernetic hand beneath. Yet another ATHENA gift from the lost decade of her life. She dug her steel thumb into the corpse's flesh, which quickly gave way to the pressure. A splatter of blood coated the wall, but the man in the chair offered no further protest as Noelle pried a small chrome orb from between his vertebrae.
"Recognize this?" asked Noelle, dropping the quarter-sized ball into the see-through plastic cup Charlie held out to catch it.
"Nope," answered Charlie, blue eyes crackling like a blowtorch. "But that's what makes it exciting, right?"
He reached into the decal-and-patch-laden messenger bag at his feet, fishing out a long coil of white cable. He plugged one end into the orb, and then connected the other to the pico USB port embedded in his glasses.
“Nice!” exclaimed Charlie. “Yeah, this baby’s running JadeRay OS, which means it must have Kimswift firmware… So, then it’s gotta be rocking either an L-Worth or L-Fried motherboard, which means it’s definitely got Abdeir transistors under the hood, and that probably means…”
Noelle swallowed the urge to tell her partner to ‘spit it out.’ That never worked. Ever.
“… we can hammer attack the living crap out of it,” he finished, finally, lightly gasping for air as he did.
Charlie made a few twisting gestures in the air, followed by a definitive pointing motion. A bright, red spiral of lights flared to life along the white cable, crawling repeatedly from glasses to orb and orb back to glasses.
“Anyway – this’ll take a few minutes.”
“How’s it work?” she asked, killing time. “The hammer attack, or whatever.”
“Short answer – cat GIFs,” he said with a wink, passively monitoring the status of his digital B & E out of the corner of his other eye. "Billions and billions of cat GIFs."
“I assume the long answer is slightly more illuminating?”
“Yeah, I can go into details if you want -- we've got the time."
"Try me," she challenged, actually far more interested than she let on.
"Okay," he began, attempting to translate his unbridled enthusiasm into a coherent stream of thought. "So... it's physics, basically? Like, you know how computers only understand 1's and 0's?"
"Binary, yeah -- believe it or not, ATHENA did send me to college, Charlie."
"So you've told me, 'Elle. Anyway, computers don't actually even understand 1's and 0's. All a computer actually 'gets' is having power versus having no power. So, in order to actually keep track of all those 1's and 0's, computer chips have these little capacitors that store super tiny amounts of electricity. If there's above a certain amount of electricity stored, then that's a ‘1’. If there's not, then that's a ‘0’".
Noelle nodded. She wasn't aware of the finer details in so many words, but she knew her way around a circuit board well enough to conduct basic repairs on her arm and exo. Charlie still handled the more complex stuff -- mods, massive firmware refactors, and so on -- but Noelle had always valued self-sufficiency.
"So," continued Charlie, sucking as much air as his tiny lungs could hold. "Most operating systems have two different modes: admin and user. Admins can do whatever the fuck the want, users can only do what the admin lets them. And the difference between admin mode and user mode is actually just the value of a single capacitor: the mode bit.”
Charlie stopped briefly to check the status of his hack, and then soldiered onward.
"So, for a hammer attack, the idea is that you ask the system to perform a crazy number of operations in a really short amount of time. That way, the capacitors keeping track of all the 1's and 0's don't have time to clear themselves between cycles, so that residual electricity keeps building and building and building. And if you hammer a bunch of capacitors close enough to the mode bit --"
"The residual electricity bleeds over and flips it on," answered Noelle, taking advantage of Charlie's pause for breath.
"Bingo," said Charlie, complete with unnecessary finger guns. "See, nowadays, most GIFs are actually video-based, to save on space. But way back when, people actually made GIFs by stringing together hundreds of separate images to make these crappy, digital-flipbook-like movies. Which... damn. Talk about inefficient.
"So you just flooded this system with several billion old school cat GIFs?" asked Noelle, no longer able to hide her amusement.
"Just fucking pummeled it into submission," laughed Charlie, as a ding sounded off in his inner ear. "Anyway – let’s see what kinda weird porn this dude is into, yeah?"
“Or find out his name?” chided Noelle. “Whatever’s good for you, really.”
“You know what your problem is? No idea how to mix business and pleasure.”
“Somehow, I think I’ll manage.”
Charlie flicked his fingers across a number of phantom screens, suddenly bursting into hysterical laughter.
“Holy fucking shit!” he chortled. “Someone is clearly messing with us, ‘Elle.”
“His porn stash really that vulgar?”
“No, no – porn’s pretty tame, actually. It’s on the Desktop in a folder labeled ‘Stock Portfolio.’
“What’s got me going is this guy’s name: Willy Loman. And, he’s been exchanging all these messages with someone going by ‘Arthur Miller,’ who claims to be the chairman of the ‘Union of Traveling Salesmen!’ They all have to be codenames– did we just stumble onto the lamest black ops mission in history?”
“Didn’t take you for a theater fan,” she sneered.
“Please,” muttered Charlie, flicking the information over to Elle’s AR display like an invisible frisbee, “’Death of a Salesman’ is, like… the one play everyone has to read in high school. Plus, I just saw this article about a new algorithm for solving the Travelling Salesman Problem. The A.I. cranking it out was called L0man. With a zero for the ‘O.’”
“Think it’s related?” she asked offhandedly.
“Naw,” he responded. “It’s probably just that one thing, where, uh… y’know – you learn about something obscure, and then you see it referenced the next day?”
“Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon?” she volunteered, filtering large chunks of data into ethereal folders like a child stacking blocks.
“Yeah! How’d you know that?”
“I was just reading about it...”
“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not,” he said flatly, packing tech gear back into his messenger bag. He unzipped the front pocket, producing a pill container and an empty vodka bottle that would have only marginally increased in value had it still contained vodka. “Anyway, this is a dead end. I assume we’re gonna forge this dude a prescription or two, and then go get paid?”
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” said Noelle, collapsing her AR display with a light clap. “And to answer your other question, some us look up real, honest-to-God information on The Mirror, instead of just streaming porn…”
“I’m sure you meant to say ‘in addition to,’ right?”
Noelle and Charlie stepped out into the brisk morning air, their pockets significantly heavier than their consciences. The holographic clock popping off the pillar of a nearby strip mall showed just past eight, but the dirty streets of Omaha were already packed with people, grubby-elbow-to-grubby-elbow.
Noelle had grown up here, long before ATHENA’s recruiters came knocking. She remembered when there were separate cities along the eastern edge of Nebraska, instead of just the one, unending urban sprawl.
Ten million people crammed into a space barely big enough for two or three…
Charlie tilted his head in a half-nod toward a line of people winding around the block. The gesture simultaneously served as both an inquiry as to whether Noelle wanted to wait in line for a D’Leon’s breakfast burrito, as well as a blunt assertion that he didn’t actually give a shit and was getting one regardless.
Noelle gazed blankly at the filthy streets, her eye-line tracing a path from the graffitied sidewalk all the way to the roof of a 64-story apartment building. At the top, a lone Mirror antennae dangled over the edge, the tiny dish somehow expected to provide online access for the tenement’s thousands and thousands of occupants.
She strained her memory, trying to remember how this street had looked when she was young.
Back then, when the shit had started dripping into the fan, Noelle was old enough to comprehend the events unfolding around her – just not what they would eventually mean.
At the turn of the 21st century, most people lived along the coasts, packed like sardines itching to return to sea. Naturally, then, the Greenland ice sheet melting seemed like the worst disaster of the 2020’s. It didn’t even melt all the way. Just enough to spike sea levels by a few meters.
Still, it drove millions of people inland.
That grand migration barely made the news, actually. Of course, Noelle’s dad kept claiming dark days were on the horizon. But he’d despaired enough times about enough counterfeit omens that no one really bought into his proclamations of gloom and doom.
But as the saying goes, a broken clock is right twice a day. And Alan T. King had predicted complete and utter calamity at least a dozen times by that point, so pops was due for a win.
The majority of the displaced population had purchased their flood insurance through the government’s National Flood Insurance Program. Unfortunately, the heavily subsidized NFLIP’s dirt cheap premiums didn’t even come close to reflecting the true risk of the restless oceans eventually going straight up biblical.
When the coastline flooded, too many people made too many claims in too short a time period. The NFIP imploded. Groups with enough capital to hire expensive legal teams generally recouped their losses okay. Everyone else was SOL.
"A chain-reaction of nuclear proportions,” is how the news had eventually referred to the fallout from the floods. Some days, Noelle wondered if an actual nuclear winter would’ve caused less suffering.
Desperate to avoid defaulting on an already austere budget following the NFIP meltdown, the 2027 U.S. government got creative with revenue generation opportunities. Worst among these 11th hour Hail Maries was the auctioning of public lands and resources to the highest bidder.
The new proposals carved their largest chunks out of the Midwest. The Apostle Islands transformed into luxury vacation condos. Most of the Niobrara River bank got snapped up by a conglomerate of movie studios. And an unnamed munitions manufacturer bought 90% of The Badlands for a song, deducing the already craterous region to be ideal for heavy weapons testing.
But, the final nail in the coffin came when a certain, tremendously unpleasant bottled-water company won the bidding war for the Ogalalla Aquifer. To peoples’ credit, a band of do-gooder conservationists rallied around the auction as a “last stand for the little guys,” organizing a crowd-funding campaign to field a competing offer.
They got crushed by a factor of ten.
A portly teenage wearing a digi-weave T-shirt cut in front of Charlie, his clothing's expensive computerized fabric constantly shuffling through ironic slogans. The oblivious line-cutter appeared fully engaged in his AR voice-call, which was 80% jargony bullshit like ‘fundamentally disruptive IPO strategies’ and ‘reaffirmations of changing revenue streams’. But from the way he glanced at Charlie before quickly looking away, one could surmise the self-absorbed asshat was fully aware that the D’Leon’s line actually started way back around the corner.
“Eat me – I’m gluten-free!” read the egotistical jerk-off’s shirt at this particular moment.
Nobody exemplified the new world’s demarcation between have’s and have-not’s better than bratty tech-wonderkids. Granted, this piece of work probably wasn’t from Silicon Valley, but he may as well have been.
Back when the coasts flooded, California locals took rapturous delight in the news that “those smug tech pricks’ with their fancy fuckin’ offices” had been gobbled up by hungry waves. But their schadenfreude at seeing most of Palo Alto underwater quickly gave way to dismay when those same “smug tech pricks” started winning their settlement lawsuits against the government, and then funneling that money toward buying up the country’s most newly invaluable commodity: land.
“Dude!” shouted Charlie. He smacked the techie shitheel in the back of the head, channeling the particular strain of courage that came from by being best friends with a 6-foot-1, cybernetically enhanced, exoskeleton-rocking former mercenary.
“What’s your problem, bruh?” spat Mr. Startup McBitchTits, of the North Hampton McBitchTits.
“My problem? My problem?” asked Charlie incredulously. “My problem, bruh, is that the rest of us have been patiently waiting to get some of the only ‘real’ food in a 30-block radius, and you act like you don’t have to?”
Noelle smirked. Back when she was a kid, D’Leon’s was about the farthest thing you could get from ‘real’ food. If anything, this showed just far peoples’ standards had fallen.
Near the end of the government’s ‘natural wonders fire sale’, farmland also regularly changed hands. See, every middle management executive in the country was cooking up some bat-shit crazy scheme to leverage their new properties. It was only a matter time before some spongy, balding, wacky-tie-wearing-but-only-Fridays nobody suggested utilizing the vast tracks of resplendent nature to monopolize food production. First, though, the competition (i.e. every farm not already corporately owned) needed a little thinning.
The buy-out process typically ran a familiar course:
Some twenty-three-year-old jackass sporting a seven-thousand-dollar suit (and equally pricey haircut) VTOLed his way down to a small, family-owned farm; he’d make a grand show of wealth, with his Patek holo-watch and his fully autonomous android assistant; he’d offer to buy the farm for more money than the farmers could possibly scrape together in five generations.
The farmers always refused.
They had their pride; they didn’t need the money; farming was in their blood and in their bloodline; so the VP of East Coast Revenue Dynamics and Bland Yet Shitty Personalities made a counterbid; the farm had several loans outstanding, didn’t it?; well, loans were debt, you see, and debt could be bought and sold like any other commodity; and the VP of Global Paradigm Planning and Incredibly Boring Stories That Don’t Go Anyway had friends at all the right financial institutions; sure, it was technically illegal to purchase a certain block of debt, but his friends knew every loophole; with that in mind, the VP of Human Capital Redistribution and Mentioning His Annual Salary As A Pick-Up Line would just hate for the farmers to leave the table with nothing at all, so wouldn’t they please take another look at his offer?
The farmers always accepted.
The corporations spared no expense fully automating their acreages, replacing the calloused, hardworking hands of the American farmer with pristine, tireless robot claws. Their R & D departments had a literal field day developing designer seeds, each little sprout genetically fine-tuned for high yield rates and low growth time. Of course, this actually lessened crop survivability, but that hardly seemed a pressing concern within the confines of your average climate-controlled, luminescence-monitored, hydroponically irrigated superfarm.
That next year, America saw its highest food production rates in history.
The good times didn’t last.
“Look, guy – you use the app Guthry at all?” wheezed the entitled tech baby. “That’s my company. You’re welcome. You can thank me by not hassling me while I’m trying to get some goddamned breakfast.”
“I don’t give a fuck if you wrote the JadeRay kernel, buddy!”
The CEO of Guthry opened his mouth to deliver a surely devastating comeback, but never got the chance. Noelle grabbed him by the scruff of the shirt, lifted him several inches off the pavement, and wordlessly deposited him on the far end of the street corner, well outside the generally accepted confines of ‘The Line.’
The deposed burrito king turned bright red. He stormed off, but muttering about how he “wasn’t even hungry,” and if those “idiots in line used Guthry, they’d know a dust storm was rolling in soon, anyway.”
Noelle had never heard of Guthry – there were almost as many dust storm monitoring apps as there were actual dust storms. But the kid was probably right, nonetheless.
Following the hostile corporate takeover of America’s heartland, the soil went to hell. Normally, the government gave out conservation subsidies in exchange for leaving certain plots of land dormant for the year, in order to maintain soil health. But in farm-to-boardroom-table America, the federal government was already in dire straits. Naturally, the meager subsidies they offered failed to impress the corporate bigwigs.
Those CEO’s had sprung for fully automated food production units and dammit, they were going to farm!
The drought of 2029 smacked them right in their big, dumb faces for their hubris. Most scientists agreed the drought could’ve been mitigated if the Ogalalla Aquifier had retained healthy water levels. The great irony there, of course, was that the most of the aquifer’s water was still in the region, just individually bottled and sitting on convenience store shelves…
The resulting dust bowl proved catastrophic.
In fact, Dust Bowl 2.0 made its predecessor seem almost quaint by comparison. The Dust Bowl of the 1930’s raged for almost the entire decade, displacing roughly 3.5 million people. Dust Bowl 2.0, however, spun up at the tail end of the New 30’s, and looked to have enough fury to rampage well into the New 40’s or 50’s. So far, 15 million people had been driven from their homes.
That was the way things were now: 483 million Americans eking out some type of life or another, the dust driving them into the cities and the cities grinding them back into dust.
The two partners bought their burritos without further incident, stepping outside to enjoy their spoils. Charlie tore back the grease-splattered wax paper, eyeing his prize with the intensity of a stray dog staking out a butcher shop dumpster. He opened his mouth to take a bite and then… stopped.
In fact, everything stopped.
Cars halted in the middle of intersections. Birds hung in the air, suspended between flaps. Everything and everyone stood frozen in time – mid-step, mid-word, mid-wave.
Everything and everyone, but Noelle.
“gOod morNing, detecTive,” called a voice that wafted up from the sewers and skidded down from the heavens concurrently. “miGht i tRouble You foR A momeNt oF Your timE?”
“You seem to have mistaken me for someone you can fuck with,” muttered Noelle, already unholstering the sidearm hidden beneath her jacket.
“aNd yOu seEm tO haVe miStaken Me foR soMeone whO feArs yOu.”
“Go ahead,” she shouted, whipping out her weapon and scanning the street from sidewalk to rooftop. “Pissing me off is gonna end badly for one of us, and I like my odds.”
“tHat iS hOw This joUrney eNds, yeS – buT tHere Is mucH tO acComplish bEfore tHat Point.”
“cOme, noElle – i’Ve suCh woNders tO sHow yoU…”

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