"Alright, Jack. Are you ready?"
After being strapped down by the orderlies, an older gentleman with a white coat stepped over and looked down at me as my back caressed the cold, metal slab I was fastened to. I presumed this was Doctor Covenwood, the lab's head of operations.
"Uhhh... I guess so."
This was risky business. I would be humanely injected and gassed with various chemicals to render me medically dead. Then, I would be revived to report my findings as part of a study on near-death experiences and the afterlife. If I survived, $5,000 would be deposited into my bank account as payment.
"Don't worry, Jack. We've done this dozens of times so far and have yet to lose a single soul. You'll be fine."
I know what you're thinking and you're right; this was not legal by any stretch of the imagination. No one in their right mind would have even agreed to participate in such a study, but I was truly desperate. The pandemic left me jobless and the bills were piling up. An old college buddy who works for the lab knew about my situation and reached out to recruit me for the project.
"Alright, Jack. I'll be in the next room behind the one-way glass. You'll be able to hear me over the intercom. Once we start, there's no going back. This is your last chance. Are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this?"
I mulled it over for a moment, but the choice was clear. There were certainly other options at my disposal for recouping my financial losses, but that wasn't the only reason I agreed to take part in the study. The real reason I was risking my life ran much deeper than that.
"Let's do it, Doctor."
A smile spread across his face.
"That's the spirit!"
Doctor Covenwood scurried out to the control room and fired up the intercom as quick as he could, probably to get the ball rolling before I changed my mind.
"Remember, Jack, you'll only be gone for thirty seconds, then we'll bring you back. Still, it may seem a lot longer to you once you're... well, wherever it is you're going. Time dances to the beat of its own drum in some places. Retain what information you can upon waking and tell us what it is you've seen."
I nodded at the camera hanging above me from the ceiling.
"Alright, Jack. This is it. See you on the other side."
***
I remembered bracing myself for death, but it's all fuzzy after that; bits and pieces of memory floating in a vast ocean of consciousness. I can only recall the sensation of falling and the occasional voice whispering in my ear, though I could not for the life of me make out what it was saying. When I finally came to, the scene in front of me took form and revealed my surroundings.
However inexplicable it may seem, I was in what appeared to be the lobby of a large building. There were hardwood floors, lavish staircases, and gorgeous rays of light flooding the room from tall, stained-glass windows on every side of me. Directly in my line of sight was a desk and what appeared to be a receptionist. He looked up and smiled.
"You must be Jack. Please, come with me."
In an instant, without even getting up from his seat, the man was in front of me. Before I could react, he took me by the arm and we appeared somewhere upstairs by the balcony in front of a door.
"Here you are - Room 371. The Overseer will see you now."
And just like that, he vanished again.
Thanks. I guess.
Overwhelmed by everything, I didn't enter the room right away and instead leaned over the railing and surveyed the area. That's when I noticed a plethora of shelves lining the walls, each with their own collection of jars; a soft light emanating from within. I wanted to study them further, but was cut off by a booming voice that echoed through the hall.
"Come in, Jack. I haven't got all day."
It was coming from Room 371. Not wishing to further test the patience of whatever being was summoning me, I opened the door and walked in.
"Please, Jack. Have a seat."
Sitting at a desk in the room was a clean-cut man in turn-of-the-century attire, gesturing at the chair in front of me.
I sat and the man stared me down. If he was trying to intimidate me, it was working.
"Alright. On with it. I know you must have questions. Fire away."
He was right. I did.
"Where are we?"
He chuckled.
"You humans are so predictable. Well, for lack of a self-descriptor, this is what you would refer to as the hereafter - a place where all souls go upon expiration."
"So Heaven is... a cathedral?"
He chuckled again.
"Who said anything about Heaven? There is no good or bad place, just this. And no, it's not a cathedral. It appears different to every departed soul. You see it as a cathedral, another might see it as a monastery, or even a small cottage tucked away in the hills. Whatever peaceful scenery makes the transition easier."
He adjusted himself in his chair, raised his hand, and lifted a single finger.
"One more question, Jack. Then we move on to more pressing matters."
This was my chance. The reason I was there in the first place.
"Can I see my wife and daughter?"
He didn't expect that, turning his chair to face me.
"Ahh, I see. Now I understand. Is that why you joined Doctor Covenwood's little study group? That I wouldn't have predicted."
He saw the surprise in my expression.
"Oh yes, Jack. I know all about the good doctor and his trials. He works for us."
My surprise turned to confusion.
"Works for you? What do you mean?"
The Overseer raised his hand again and snapped his fingers. All at once we were transported to another space. It was small and white. Too white. And the lighting was strange. Brighter than your average room, but still dimmer than a hospital. It was off-putting. To make matters worse, I was strapped to another table, completely immobile in the center of the room. The Overseer stood by and picked up tools from a rolling cart. Needles, blades, among other sharp utensils.
"I can't believe a human would risk his own life on the off-chance he might be reunited with loved ones. It's admirable, I suppose, but no, Jack, you will not see Charlotte and Leslie. We have far more important business to attend to."
My heart was pounding. I had no idea what he was up to, but I knew it couldn't be anything good.
"What's going on? What are you doing?"
He cracked a smile.
"Well, Jack, what the good doctor failed to let you in on was that our agreement involves him sending us wayward souls. In exchange, we offer him information about our world."
He walked around to the opposite side of me with the cart and pushed it up against the table. I winced and let out a small scream. He laughed.
"You see, Jack, human souls are a delicacy here. The taste is so... intoxicating."
He closed his eyes and trembled.
"We were never meant to devour souls, but we've been hear for so long. Billions of years. Maybe more. We, like all things, need stimulation. To that end, we face but one obstacle. The pesky laws of this realm dictate that we can neither lie nor take what isn't ours. It's a failsafe of the Creator's design, put in place to keep us from harming you, making it physically impossible to extract your soul without consent. You must give it to us willingly."
Though frightened, I mustered up enough courage to respond.
"Why would I do something like that?"
He replied with a horrible grin.
"That's the beauty of our arrangement. When a normal soul dies, we give them the option. Let us cut you open and take your soul, or live in a jar for all eternity. There's almost no incentive to hand it over, so almost everyone chooses the latter option. In your case, your time isn't up. The doctor is waiting on the other side to revive you, but I won't let him unless you give me what I want! Time will remain still until your soul is mine. Your thirty seconds will never end."
He licked his lips in anticipation.
"If you want to go back, just say the word. Otherwise, get comfortable."
It was a lot to process. Still, none of it mattered. Seeing my wife and daughter again was the only thing keeping me going. Knowing that I couldn't be with them eliminated any incentive I would have had to continue living.
"No. You can't have it. I'll stay."
His smile vanished as he threw the cart and grabbed me by the shoulders, placing his face directly over mine. His eyes were now red and his mouth full of dagger-like teeth that overlapped one another in a grotesque pattern.
"You will give me your soul and I will rip away every last fiber of your flesh to get it."
He dug a silver blade into my chest and drooled over the wound. It was like battery acid. Worse than any pain I had ever felt before. I screamed in agony. He backed away, wiped his chin, and his face returned to normal.
"Sorry about that. I got a little carried away. Still, you will agree to my terms, or suffer further torment."
The pain was immense, but I would not bow to him.
"No. I refuse."
His grin returned.
"You misunderstand, Jack. The torture you will experience is not of a physical nature."
He snapped his fingers and we were transported again, somewhere else entirely.
***
I was alone, in a familiar forest; one just outside town where we liked to camp from time to time. The sun was setting as the evening drew near. The air was still and the wildlife quiet.
This was the night they died.
"What do you think, Jack? I'd say it looks almost identical."
The Overseer appeared before me.
"What the hell is this?"
His lips stretched wide across his cheeks.
"Just a recreation of the events that led up to your family's death."
I looked at him in disbelief.
"You remember, don't you? You were out here gathering firewood while they played by the lake."
A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Stop it!"
He continued.
"When Leslie fell, bumped her head on the dock, and then sank deep beneath the water? Charlotte called out to you, but you were nowhere to be found."
It happened as he spoke of it.
"Jack, she fell in. Jack, help! Oh my god, she's unconscious. Jack!"
Just as I did that night, I dropped the branches in my hand and ran as fast as I could towards the lake. Recreation or not, I couldn't ignore my family.
"Your wife jumped in to save her, but her legs were far too weak to swim."
The Overseer appeared at every tree I passed, his voice staying with me every step of the way.
"The physical therapy worked wonders, but she had only been out of her wheelchair for a month."
He was right. On her way to work, Charlotte was struck by a drunk driver. She survived, but her spine suffered a lot of damage. The doctors weren't sure she would walk again. This camping trip was supposed to be a celebration. It was the first thing Charlotte wanted to do when she was upright again.
"Stop it, you bastard!"
Charlotte continued to call out for me.
"Jack! Jack!"
Her voice was muffled by the water she was treading. There was a sickening gurgle in between her outbursts; a gut wrenching sound that haunted my every nightmare for months to come and rang in my ears even after waking.
"You arrived at the lake, but it was too late."
I ran over, tears wetting my face, and pulled Charlotte and Leslie from the water. The Overseer stayed close and observed. I tried my best to administer chest compressions and CPR, but it was no use. My girls were dead, and I could do nothing but sob over their corpses.
"Alright, Jack. Time for Round 2!"
The Overseer snapped his fingers and we were back in the forest. Soon enough, I heard Charlotte's voice, once again crying out for help. To my dismay, the sequence of events had begun again.
I turned to the Overseer, standing by my side, and took a swing, but there was no connection. My fist stopped inches from his smug face, halted by an unseen force. He cackled in response.
"Why are you doing this?!"
"You know why, Jack! Give me your soul, or submit to this existence! You will be stuck here forever, left to relive the worst night of your life again and again!"
I ran to the lake. Faster this time. Still, when I arrived, they were gone.
"That's right, Jack. No matter what happens, this will be the conclusion. You will never make it in time. Never."
We appeared back in the forest.
"What will it be, Jack?"
I ran again. The Overseer followed.
"No. I won't do it. I can save them, this time. I know I can."
The Overseer's eyes became red as he moved from tree to tree.
"THEN SUFFER!"
Charlotte continued to call out for me, I continued to run. After it was done, it started again. And again. And again. All the while, the Overseer stayed and watched and laughed. Eventually, I cried myself dry. I pressed on anyway, determined to save them, even if it was all part of an elaborate illusion. I needed this. More than the Overseer knew.
Eventually, he interrupted.
"Stop, Jack."
I ignored him at first.
"Jack, stop."
I ran as fast as I could, Charlotte's voice as my beacon, well on my way to another lakeside funeral.
"STOP, NOW!"
The Overseer stepped in front of me. The scene around us vanished. We were now surrounded by darkness; a mysterious place devoid of any and all light.
"If you truly insist on continuing this run down memory lane, then I think it's time we changed some things. Have fun, Jack. This will be your life now."
He snapped his fingers and I was back in the woods. This time, I was completely alone and a dark fog hung above the forest's canopy, cloudy and still. Focused, I ran past the trees, but Charlotte's voice never met my ear.
Something was amiss.
***
I arrived at the lake moments later and was greeted with the usual, horrific sight. Charlotte and Leslie, face-down on the surface of the water. I pulled them out, as I had so many times before, but something changed when their bodies touched the shore.
They stood up.
Charlotte and Leslie's lifeless bodies now stood upright before me, eyes darker than the deep abyss they were pulled from. Water spilled from their mouths as they walked toward me. Charlotte then spoke.
"You killed us, Jack. You killed us."
I backed away in terror, sobbing the whole way.
"Charlotte, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Leslie stepped ahead.
"Why didn't you save me, Daddy?"
I fell to my knees as they approached.
"I love you both so much and miss you terribly. Please forgive me. I never meant for this to happen."
Charlotte leaned over and put a cold hand on my head.
"You lived. You don't deserve forgiveness on top of that."
She pressed her lips to mine and the taste of death coated my tongue. I tried to disconnect, but she forced me against her with brute strength, her arms wrapped tightly around my head. Then, she began sucking the air from lungs.
Leslie chimed in.
"This is how we felt, Daddy. We couldn't breathe. Now you can be like us."
I struggled and struggled, but couldn't break free. Just before losing the last drop of air in my lungs, something happened. It was faint at first, but then grew to an audible whisper. I recognized it as it crept into my ear. It was the same disembodied voice that followed me to the afterlife. I could now tell that it was that of Charlotte. The real Charlotte.
Save us, Jack.
I didn't know what she meant.
Please, Jack. You have to make a deal with the Overseer.
Make a deal. Okay. I could do that.
By some miracle, I was able to rip myself away and inhale as much oxygen as I could in one breath. Then, before the corpses could attack again, I called out to the Overseer.
"Okay! I'm ready to bargain."
The dead versions of Charlotte and Leslie vanished. The sky opened up, revealing a full moon. Its dim light soaked small ripples in the lake as the Overseer walked up from behind.
"Had a change of heart, have we?"
I took another deep breath. Charlotte's whisper was still with me, guiding me the rest of the way.
He can't lie. Ask him some questions.
"Okay, I'll give you my soul, but first, I have questions."
He rolled his eyes.
"Fine. On with it then."
Ask him about the jarred souls. What he does with them.
"What do you do with the souls once they're jarred?"
He squinted at me, suspiciously.
"Where is this coming from, Jack?"
I was firm in my reply.
"Just answer me."
He clenched his teeth.
"Fine. For the most part, they stay, untouched, in their jars, on their shelves. But... sometimes... we take them out and ask again for consent."
Ask how.
"How do you do that? Torture?"
His eyes widened at the word.
"Of course, Jack. What other way is there?"
Ask about us.
"What about Charlotte and Leslie then? Do you torture them?"
He leaned in and snickered.
"Yes. The same as I'm torturing you now. They relive this night just as you have. Your wife is strong, but I'll break her. Then they're souls will be mine, just as yours will be. A matching set if there ever was one."
My blood was boiling. I wanted to lash out, but Charlotte's voice soothed me.
Save us, Jack.
The pieces clicked into place.
"Alright. I'm going to give you a choice."
The Overseer scoffed at me.
"You're going to give me a choice?"
"Yes. I can guarantee you that Charlotte won't give in to your head games and neither will I - not so long as we have each other. You can either keep trying and torture us until the end of time - or, if you have better things to attend to, and I'm sure you do, you can let me go."
He looked shocked.
"Let you go?"
I continued.
"No more torturing my wife and daughter and allow the doctor to revive me. When I die, my soul is yours to do with as you please. It's the only guarantee that you'll get any of us."
He stood back and pondered for a moment.
"You make a compelling argument Jack. Normally, I wouldn't even consider a deal like this, but I've wasted enough time on you three as it is. As such, here is my counter offer. I'm feeling generous, so I'll offer you two years on Earth with your soul intact and your family will rest during that time. Then, you will die, and I will retrieve all three of your souls. Your familial bond can serve as consent for the lot of you."
There was no way I would accept those terms, but Charlotte's voice chimed in.
Take the deal, Jack. It will be fine. We'll have two years to find a way out of it.
I didn't like it, but I had to listen to my wife. She always knew best.
"Okay. You have yourself a deal."
The Overseer smiled and then snapped his fingers.
***
I awoke in the lab to Doctor Covenwood at my side, tending to the wound in my chest, left by the Overseer.
"Oh good, you're awake!"
Knowing the hand he played in this, I looked up at him in disgust.
"I know. I know. I'm sorry, Jack. It's just the way it has to be. This research is vital to the progression of mankind."
He finished bandaging me up, undid my straps, and backed away, probably expecting a fist to the face.
"You're just lucky I was able to make a deal with the Overseer to protect my family."
I stood up and Doctor Covenwood stepped out and into the control room, opting to speak through the intercom.
"Actually, Jack, that was all a part of the plan. One soul at a time used to cut it, but as of late, the Overseer wants more."
He let out a loud sigh before continuing.
"There's no way out of this, I'm afraid. In two years time, you'll be done for. I hope you understand."
The sound of tapping away at a keyboard came through the speaker, followed by a voice. Charlotte's voice.
"Save us, Jack."
My heart sank.
"I used old recordings of your wife and created a simple program that would allow me to alter my voice to sound like hers. Everything I said over the intercom, you were able to hear on the other side. I'm so sorry, Jack."
Oh my god. What have I done?

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The sound of the cutting bars was loud, the city hushed even as it wailed in pain. Each time the powered cutting bars (Mark II) ripped through the tree rapidly, felling it. Mal-Kar and Karelesh used cutting bars given to them by a Terran to cut the trees into smaller lengths. Lu'ucilu'u and I used stick-on graviton lifters and a tractor-pressor beam to move the logs to the sides of my tank, the sides of the two buses, the sides of the combat grav-lifters. There other members of my work crew tied them to the sides with heavy cargo straps.
Several of the civilians manning "Refit Point Delta" were filling sandbags, working tirelessly to shovel dirt into sacks that they tied off and stacked. The sandbags were passed from person to person in a living chain, to be put upon the vehicles as one more layer of armor. They were stacked on the sides of grav-lifters, my tank, and secured with endosteel cargo netting. They were layered two layers thick inside the hoverbuses, with panels of endosteel plating in between the two layers.
Which was why both buses had Terran grav-lifters welded to the side to help lift the massive public transports.
A white flash made everything go flat seeming as the shadows vanished. The rumble came next, the shockwave moving the trees back and forth.
ATOMIC ATOMIC ATOMIC flashed in my vision right before another white flash lit the sky.
The civilians and what few military I had with me ignored it, continuing their work.
A N'Kar who had been a servant for a Most High was half out from under hover-fan three's skirt. Cables went from the power plugin on a nearby grav-lifter and vanished under my tank, allowing the N'Kar to weld a patch to the hoverfan skirt to fix a hole blown in it by Precursor fire.
I leaned forward and rested my head against the battlesteel of my tank, closing my eyes and feeling exhaustion fill me.
I had been awake for twenty hours since I had left the medical clinic and led my men into the burning city again.
Twenty more hours in the burning hellscape that had been a living city.
Five thousand people sealed into the bunkers even as they cried out to me to not entomb them below the earth.
But so many dead were sprawled in the streets, half-visible from collapsed buildings, or reduced to a smear on the wall.
You cannot save them all, Ha'almo'or, the matron's voice came back to me.
No, but I can try, I told her in my mind.
"Most High, eat," Feelmeenta urged me, tugging on my lower right arm.
"I am not hungry," I told her.
It was true. I was too exhausted to feel hunger any more.
"Eat," my electronic warfare specialist ordered. She held up a ration bar. "Eat, or I'll tell the Terrans you have been awake for twice as long as you should have been as well as the fact you escaped from the hospital."
I sighed, taking the ration bar and peeling the plas off of it. It wasn't Great Herd standard. The wrapper was brown, with a picture of a smiling Lanaktallan matron on the wrapper and the words "Goody Yum Yum Bar" on the side.
The Matron was in charge of making sure that the colts, fillies, calves, and wounded were all seen to. A Terran had asked her to smile real quick and then her image had appeared on the package the next time I had been handed a ration bar.
I'd seen the Terrans of the Sustainment Battalion pull them out of their fabulous nanoforges by the box, each box containing thousands of bars.
The bar was good. Rough coarse grain seed and dough, some kind of sweet and chewy center. It filled my first stomach, easing the dull pain, and I felt energy return to my body.
"Do we have any targets or is it another sweep?" I asked, taking another bar and opening it.
This one tasted of berries, was white with a center of sweet and thick crumbly dough.
It was the best thing I had ever tasted.
"Another sweep," Feelmeenta told me. She held up a canteen and I gratefully took it, drinking deep, enjoying the slight tart citrus flavor.
It was such little things, that the Terrans did and we were emulating, that made life bearable.
ATOMIC ATOMIC ATOMIC
I hardly noticed the flash, the rumble, of the gentle push of the shockwave that made the treetop sway.
Two civilians I did not know exited the interior of my tank. The waste reclaimation system had failed, leaving the crew compartment thick with dung on the floor. I had helped scoop it out with sheets of plas during the day.
When we had arrived the two civilians, both Telkan, had gone in with pressure washers.
The N'Kar slid out from under the hoverfan, nervously rubbing his skin. "It should hold, Most High," he said. His voice was soft and submissive, like all of his people, but I could see the determination to do a job well done in his eyes.
"I thank you," I told him. "Once we leave will you be going to the shelters?"
He shook his head. "No. We will stay. We have guns now, given to us by the Terrans, as well as battlescreen projectors to protect this place. We will stay here, in case you need us."
The makeshift ambulance nosed its way into the clearing, settling down with the snarl of badly tuned graviton lifters. The back lowered and the filly from the first day clopped down. Gone was the uncertainty of youth, she moved with her head high, one hand on her medical bag, and she surveyed the area like a lord of old.
Two Goodbois and a Simba moved with her, the Goodbois on either side and the Simba behind her. All of them had the holographic light to make them look furry and somewhat harmless.
I had seen the twin linked rapid fire autocannons on the back of a Simba rip apart a Precursor war machine ten times the Simba's side with less than three seconds of fire. I had seen a Goodboi fire missiles at a Precursor air striker, knocking it out of the sky in a greasy explosion and rain of burnt and blackened metal, seen them fire the heavy tribarrel that had risen out of their back to destroy Precursor machines.
I had also seen them search out survivors in a collapsed building.
Like all things Terran, looks were deceiving.
When she saw me she trotted up to me even as I unwrapped another Goody Yum Yum bar.
"You will hold still, Most High," she said. Her voice was raspy, the voice of an older Matron, and her old eyes were red from exhaustion, but still her eyes and voice were steady.
"As you wish," I told her.
She ran the scanner over my lower abdomen and where my upper torso joined my lower body.
"Your heart is in good condition. The cyberware reports no cardiac events," she said, drawing up. "Your bloodwork looks good and your vitals are excellent once exhaustion and combat has been accounted for. How are the eyes?"
"Good. I am used to them now," I told her.
"And your foot?" she asked, pointing at the cybernetic replacement for my hoof.
"Still slightly heavy to my senses," I said.
She nodded slowly. "That it to be expected. You are cleared for duty, Most High Ha'almo'or."
"I thank you," I told her.
"Ambulance One is ready to deploy with you," she said. She trotted around to face the makeshift ambulance with "GREAT HERD EMERGENCY MEDICAL SERVICES" painted on the side with blue paint stick. She turned at the waist to look at me. "Do not attempt to argue with me, Most High."
"I welcome your efforts," I told her.
She could feel my sincerity and nodded. A nod of a Matron far older then the teenager I had seen on the first day crying over the dead.
She trotted back to the makeshift ambulance, the Goodbois and the Simba following her.
Again, the warning, followed by a rapid fire series of detonations.
The Terrans were, to use their own words, 'giving the clankers Hell' out there, pushing them back step by bloody step from the cities even as they sent into the cities their power armor infantry and tanks in with Most High A'armo'o's tanks in order to clear out the Precursor Autonomous War Machines.
"Your tank's ready," the two Telkan said. They were wearing plastic coveralls over heavy laborer coveralls to keep from getting wet.
"Thank you, both," I told them.
The two Telkan made motions of embarrassment before they shuffled off, carrying their power washer and the water tanks with them.
I clopped up the ramp, settling into the combat couch. I leaned forward and pushed my face against the gunner's sight. I activated the tank's systems and felt it come to life around me as my faithful crew climbed in, the power ramp whining as it raised, the load of sandbags attached to the outside face providing more weight than the motors were used to.
I ignored the smell of burning metal.
Mal-Kar drove the tank out of the spot in the woods, weaving between the camo nets hanging between the trees. According to the Terrans they would scatter LIDAR and RADAR and prevent Precursor scanners from spotting anyone in the woods.
We passed holes dug in the ground by determined civilians armed only with shovels. Inside each hole were three or four civilians behind a heavy gun.
There had been plenty that had never been fired and only dropped once for me to arm them with.
As we got further out of the forest/park we saw how the holes had cover. Plas covered with dirt, with firing slits. I could see what I had learned were 'ranging stakes' further out, to let the gunners know the range of any targets.
More than a few of the civilians raised a clench fist to my tank as I drove by, some even calling out my name or the name of one of my crew.
I knew I would be punished for what I had done the night before.
I had armed the neo-sapients. Given them the guns that my own people, my fellow members of the Great Herd, had dropped in panicked flight. Ordered them to 'dig in', showed them how to fight, given them Terran technical documents for digging combat positions by hand, Terran documents on how to use the radio net.
They had put the time to good use and had been very persistent in learning what I was trying to teach them.
'Jawnconnor Time' the Terrans called it.
Mal-Kar had written the name "Timekeeper" on the barrel of our tank. A joke that made sense to us, but probably to none other.
We exited the trees, the hovertank hitting the thickly polluted river, sending up a spray of water to either side of us. The lifters, hoverbuses, and ambulance all followed, the water brown with a thick layer of rainbow oily effluvia on the top. Charred bodies and debris slowly floated in the current.
I put them out of my mind, despite the way it made my chest hurt.
We headed into a gap in the river retaining wall, moving into a massive culvert, the thin layer of water spraying up around us.
A dozen Precursor strikers roared by overhead, chased by Terran strikers and air mobile hovercraft, the shell casings from the Terran vehicles raining down around us, making chiming noises as they bounced off exposed armor or the ferrocrete of the culvert.
"Eyes wide, fingers on the trigger," I said over the tiny battle tactical net I'd managed to get cobbled together. It wasn't much, had the wrong headers to be tied into the planetary network, but it worked for our small force.
A building groaned to the side and began to collapse in on itself, the floors inside falling first, pulling the outside frame and facing in after it. It gave a steady roar as it fell in a strange candle-like plume of ferrocrete dust and twisted endosteel. The fires inside colored the dust and smoke red as the building finally finished collapsing and sent up a massive cloud of debris.
The dust washed over us, making the battlescreens crackle and snap at the attempted intrusion.
One of the crew served kinetic weapons on top of Bus Two opened up with a quick burst. I tensed, waiting, but no "Contact" came over the radio and I knew that the gunner had seen something suspicious and reconned it by shooting it a few times.
If Mal-Kar's Digital Omnimessiah didn't want us to recon by fire he wouldn't have invented triggers.
"Got a public communicator message coming in," Feelmeenta said, sitting up in her chair and putting one hand to the side of her helmet. "Immature Lanaktallan female, a bunch of others, they've got children and wounded. I'm patching in Ambo-One."
"Do you have a fix on their position?" I asked.
"Storm drain, one of the Tukna'rn ripped the grate off and got them inside. They've been there since the first day," Feelmeenta said.
"All units, eyes out, we've got survivors," I said over the comlink. I got back "yeah", "yes, boss", "OK", "affirmative", and "Sure."
My men weren't much on radio discipline and proper radio procedure, but they were the finest men the universe had ever known as they followed me through the smoke and fire of the murdered city.
Mal-Kar's gentle touch on the tank's controls wove a smooth pattern to the storm drain. There were kinetic and plasma and laser impact scars around the drain and someone had pushed dumpsters in front of it. The dumpster had all been shattered by combat.
The ambulance moved in front of the tunnel and lowered the back deck. I saw the filly exit with her Simba and Goodboi escorts.
I grabbed my weapon and hit the stud on my couch, the hatch opening and the couch raising as I cocked the rifle. It wasn't the plasma rifle I had previously held, I had no idea what had happened to it. Instead it was a brutal and ugly Terran weapon that shaved slivers of metal off of a block to create some weird variable munition.
The Terran who had gave it to me had set it to APDSDE (armor piercing discarding sabot density enhanced) and I had seen no reason to change it back.
"Most High," Feelmeenta started to protest.
"I will not allow her to go somewhere I am loathe to step myself," I snapped. "Eyes out, scanners up. Get a recon drone, two weapon drones, and a commo drone up, try to establish communication with Refugee Point Lima."
By the time I had finished my orders I had reached the tunnel entrance and managed to catch up to the filly, who barely acknowledged my presence as I passed her.
The ferrocrete of the tunnel was pitted and scarred, cratered and scorched, by combat. We passed several PAWM carcasses, their bodies damaged by close quarters fighting.
Some of them looked like they had been attacked with a standard vibro-axe carried by emergency services to get through modern hyper-alloys for rescue missions.
There were bodies of Tukna'rn too. Only three, but each one was a dagger in my chest.
"DON'T COME CLOSER I'LL SHOOT!" was suddenly yelled, the words coming so fast that they nearly blended together. Lights came on, illuminating me and my visor kicked in to compensate for the sudden flood of light.
"Gunner Ha'almo'or, Great Herd Emergency Services, we heard your call," I yelled back.
"Please, our friends need a doctor. They're hurt bad," a filly called out.
"Come up here so I can make sure you aren't a clanker in someone's skin," the voice said. They coughed, a wet sound. "Not falling for that again."
The medic touched my arm and I saw displayed on my visor 'collapsed/punctured lung' as she told me her rough diagnosis.
I turned my visor transparent, moving forward. The Tukna'rn was young, barely adolescent, but he had a discarded plasma tri-barrel in his arms, holding like a weaker species would hold a rifle.
"You're a Lanky," he said, using the slang that had seemed to crop up everywhere.
"I am," I said. "Great Herd Emergency Services. We're here to evac you out."
The Tukna'rn nodded, coughing again.
"You first, it's clear," the filly, no, she was no longer a filly. Fire and blood had washed away her youth. The Matron said.
"If Li'itlewu'un says so," the Tukna'rn protested stubbornly.
I nodded and gestured at the Matron Medic. "Let us go in further."
"They're around the corner," the Tukna'rn said, coughing again.
He moved down the passage, normally used for power, sewer, and water maintenance, around the corner, and stopped.
It was one of the bigger rooms. Maybe used for the depression that would normally be a pool of water, maybe just for maintenance crews to gather. Bedding of wadded cloth were around the wall, ammo boxes obviously picked up from abandoned positions scattered around, and boxes of canned food and liquid nutripaste tanks here and there.
A Lanaktallan filly, not much older than the medic, moved up. She clasped her hands, greeting me.
"I am Li'itlewu'un," she said. "Thanks be that you are here."
I looked around slowly. There a Hamaroosan female sat with a vibro-axe that the handle had been cut in half in her lap. There a Telkan female was drinking nutripaste slurry as she let a N'Kar female tie a bandage on her leg.
All around me was suffering, of civilians who had needed my protection and found me wanting.
The Matron Medic touched her helmet and I heard her give orders for others to come in, to carry litters, to clear one of the buses. I repeated her orders, adding my authority to hers.
"We have a refugee point with shelters," I told the filly. "You cannot stay here. The battle has moved to atomic weapons."
"Will we be safe there?" she asked doubtfully.
"The Terrans have arrived and are pushing the Precursors back, although it is still very fluid right now," I told her. Beyond her the Goodbois and the Simbas deployed purrbois even as the Matron Medic moved through the wounded, putting holotags on them that her assistants could read with their visors.
All too many of them were red for urgent care required.
I watched as the wounded were helped out, heading for the bus. The Matron Medic's assistants were on the bus, letting the two of us know that they were treating as fast as possible.
I put a call across the net for Terran medical assistance. Their medics, their SAR, wore armor that the Great Herd would consider heavy combat armor and carried guns that could shatter a Precursor machine with ease.
Less than a third were remaining when I heard a shout from one of the rear tunnels. Gunfire sounded out, echoing strangely in the tunnels.
"They're coming!" someone, it sounded like an immature Akltak, yelled out.
"GET THEM OUT!" I bellowed, charging down the tunnel, my warsteel hoof shedding sparks as I ran.
The two Akltak females were ducked down behind a barrier as I turned a corner. Beyond them I could see Precursor machines rushing down the tunnel toward us.
The two teenagers were only armed with axes.
"Fall back, retreat to the main chamber and follow your leader out," I ordered, lifting up the rifle.
"But what of you?" one asked.
"I will be fine," I told her.
Either they would kill me, or not. Either way, I could buy precious seconds to get the wounded out.
I hit the firing stud and the magnetic accelerator rifle opened up with a roar. Despite the fact it used magnetic force and not chemical propellant, the weapon still flashed at the barrel, a tongue of flame lighting everything up as if it was using propellant.
The heavy magac rounds ripped into Precursors armor, sending one, then another, then another, crashing to the floor of the tunnel in heap.
"We are hurrying, Most High," the Matron Medic told me. I could hear her breathing heavy. "We're loading onto Bus Two."
"I'm coming, Most High," Mal-Kar radioed.
"Negative, hold position. You have to escort the bus back," I snapped, adjusting my fire and raking another machine. "Get the refugees out, damn you!"
"As you command," Mal-Kar replied. I could tell he was unhappy, but I had no time to be concerned as more PAWM drones pushed forward. The rifle was roaring in my hands as I held the trigger down, bracing the butt against one shoulder and using three hands to stabilize it.
Return fire was lashing out at me. Hitting the barrier I was kneeling behind, bouncing off the tunnel walls, ricocheting off my Terran built armor. A hit between my eyes rang my bell but I kept firing, forcing them back with sustained autofire.
My own rifle would have overheated by now, but the Terran weapon's heat bar stayed stubbornly in the low yellow. I would have been out of ammo, but sixty seconds of sustained fire and I still had over 80% of the ammo block left and three more in pouches on my sash.
"THIS TUNNEL IS CLOSED!" I roared out, aiming low, at their treads, their claws, their feet, their legs. The weapon ripped apart battlesteel like tissue paper, the small machines too lightly armored to withstand the fury of the weapon. "THERE ARE LITTLES BEHIND ME AND YOU SHALL NOT PASS ME TO ATTACK THEM!"
A round hit my chest, making me groan, but I fired back, ripping the arms off of the machine. Their dead were piling up high enough now that they had cover as they advanced, some of them pushing their dead in front of them.
I grabbed a grenade off my sash with my lower right hand, pulled the pin with my lower left hand, and side-armed it down the passage even as I kept firing, the weapon less accurate now that I was only holding it with two hands.
The grenade went off with the bright bluish-white snap of antimatter, showering the tunnel with droplets of molten battlesteel and shrapnel. I felt pain in my right flank but didn't care.
"Almost out, two more loads," the filly, no, the Matron, told me.
"GET THEM OUT, DAMN YOUR EYES!" I shouted at her as I grabbed another grenade. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS BY ME!"
My mouth tasted of hot copper and bitterness as I kept shooting. A round glanced off my visor, cracking it, but I paid no heed as I threw the grenade into their midst. It went off with a sharp crack and a gout of liquefied battlesteel sprayed my foreleg.
I did not care.
In or out of a tank, I was the armored bulwark of the Great Herd. None may pass by me and live.
I was the people's will made manifest.
A sudden urge made me duck right before a hypersonic rocket was fired, streaked over my head, and blew a crater the size of my chest out of the wall behind me, showering me with ferrocrete.
I answered the rocketeer with another burst that found something good.
The robot exploded, the flame and wave of shrapnel washing over me.
"Last trip, Most High!" the Matron yelled. I could barely hear her. I was half deaf, but did not care.
I began backing up, throwing my next to last grenade as I did so. My rear eyes could see the passage was clear and I was easily able to navigate it.
But I had to do it step by step, keeping up the fire, the punishment, the denial on the Precursor machines.
They charged as they came around the tunnel and I answered with my last grenade and more fire from my rifle.
"YOU!" I roared out. I grabbed a vibroaxe that someone had left on a box and threw it overhand, knocking over a robot when the handle hit it. I kept backing up.
"SHALL!" I bellowed, spraying them with full auto fire as I entered the now empty room. I kicked over a box of plasma rounds, scattering them across the floor.
"NOT!" I slung a tank of nutripaste into the middle of the floor and put a burst into it, exploding the pressurized tank so that slurry sprayed out.
"PASS!" The machines rushed into the room as I backed into the tunnel that would lead outside.
"BY!" I backed halfway around the corner and changed my aim.
"ME!" The hypervelocity rounds hit the plasma rounds.
They exploded.
The fire shoved me, the blast wave pushing me down the hallway even though I braced my hooves, sparks showering from my hoofshoes as I leaned forward into the blast. Alarms started wailing and the front of my armor flashed yellow on my HUD, but I did not care.
I kept backing up after the blastwave passed me.
"All loaded, get out of there, Most High," Lu'ucilu'u said.
"Leave the back ramp open!" I yelled, managing to whirl around. I turned backwards at the mid-waist, watching in 'front' of me with my rear eyes, firing the rifle as I galloped wildly down the tunnel. My fire wasn't accurate, but they couldn't dodge and I couldn't miss as I fired 'behind' me.
My tank wobbled into sight, barrel facing backwards, the loading ramp down, the rear battlescreen off. Rounds that got by me sparked off the armor of the tank.
I could see the interior of my faithful tank, Timekeeper*, and galloped up the ramp. I let go of the rifle, letting the autosling pull it tight against my right forward flank as I threw myself against the gunner's sight, lifting my cybernetic hoof.*
The shot lined up, aimed at the scarred and battered chassis of the lead robot.
"YOU!" I stomped the firing bar.
The Terran "Enhanced Lanaktallan Plasma Munition Mark IV" detonated.
The loader whined as I lifted my hoof. The back deck loading ramp was whining as it closed.
"SHALL!" I stomped the bar again. The loading ramp was almost halfway up.
"NOT!" again.
The loading ramp thumped into place.
"PASS!" I fired the final shot as Mal-Kar goosed the fans.
We sped after the convoy as I used my gunner's sight to scan the skies.
"We've got them all, Most High Ha'almo'or," the Matron Medic's rough voice told me. "Nineteenth Evac is landing a dropship medivac at the Refit Point Delta. They're bringing in something called man pads"
"We will go there," I said. I was trembling with exhaustion as I waited for the gunner's couch to move into position. When it did, I collapsed into it, breathing heavy.
I rested my head against the gunner's sight, even as I kept my eyes open and watched. My still biological eyes felt grainy, thick, like slightly abrasive gum was filling them every time I blinked.
Within a half hour we reached the Refit Point and Mal-Kar set the tank down. I kicked the button and the loading ramp whined down as I got up from the gunner's couch. I staggered out, looking at the bus that Terrans were running onto.
I watched as wounded were taken from the bus onto the heavy, brutal looking dropship. It was all black and looked almost unfinished, as if the designers had stopped before doing any cosmetic work and said "Meh, good enough."
Perhaps, to the Terrans, it was aesthetically pleasing.
A Hamaroosan female, barely a teenager, marched up to me, her hands clenched.
"I bet you think you're some big damn hero," she snarled.
I shook my head. "You needed me days ago and I was not there."
She seemed taken aback for a second, but she clenched her jaw.
"Riding around in your tank like some kind of lord on high while we were fighting and dying in the tunnels," she snarled.
Mal-Kar started to step up, a Hamaroosan female of older years next to him.
"You don't know what you're..." the Hamaroosan woman said.
I held up my hand. "Let her speak."
"Where were you when we needed you?" the teenager yelled. "Where were you when the clankers came?"
I stayed silent. She did not want to hear my words. She needed me, needed the world, to hear her.
To hear her pain.
"Where were you? Where was the vaunted Great Herd?" she screamed at me, rushing forward. Her little fists hit my armored chest as she pounded on me, tears running from her eyes. "Where were you when they killed my sisters and mother and father and little brothers?"
Her knees buckled and she wilted, crumbling to the ground. I knelt down, putting my arms around her. She tried to push me away, crying, weeping, but I held her tight, rocking her side to side.
"I am here now, little one," I told her as I stood up, lifting her. I carried her toward the medical tent. "I am here now and I will not let them harm you as long as I live."
It started raining. Thick, gummy, black rain.
There was a faint flash, a rumble, and the treetops swayed as I pushed into the tent and handed off the girl, who was holding onto me so tight the Matron and the doctor had to pry her arms off of me.
I headed back to my tank, stopping to grab an ammo block to replace my half used one and eight grenades instead of four.
The tank trembled beneath my hooves as I mounted the loading ramp and clattered to my gunner's couch.
The tank rumbled as we led the way back into the city, the rest of the convoy following me.
There were more who needed me as she had needed me.
--Excerpt From: We Were the Lanaktallan of the Atomic Hooves, a Memoir.
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Artist: Lil Uzi Vert
Albums: Eternal Atake / Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World 2
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Background
Symere Bysil Woods was born on July 31, 1994. Symere had a rather normal childhood. Like many children, Symere’s parents were split up, but he had a healthy relationship with both. Overall, he had a loving, yet somewhat strict, family, attended school and enjoyed cartoons and anime’s. In high school, however, Symere became a bit of an oddball. He enjoyed unconventional music, such as his idol, Marilyn Manson and Paramore among other things, wore fox tails to school and often wanted to stand out in a crowd. Bullied and teased for his music taste and weird tendencies, Symere was as happy as could be, taking pride in being a bit different. Symere’s love for music would even inspire him to play the trumpet in his marching band. Symere would eventually decide to try his hand in hip hop, after seeing the attention and popularity other people, including his friend, William Aston, got from it. Symere would find that he actually was pretty decent at spitting, so Aston invited him to join a rap group he had made with another friend. This group would be known as “Steaktown”, believed to be called that due to Philadelphia’s reputation for cheesesteaks. From here, Symere’s life would forever change. Symere, now going by the name “Sealab Vertical”, actually found that he enjoyed rapping and the type of attention he got with it. Though he loved rapping and had gotten very into the genre, Steaktown broke up, putting a bit of a damper on Symere’s plans. However, don’t let that fool you into thinking he had given up on a hip hop career. Symere knew he had it in him and would not give up on the dream. Symere doubled down on his efforts to become a star, including dropping out of school, quitting a job as a bag boy and even getting tattoos on his face. Symere moved into his grandmother’s place within a nursing home. His grandmother was very supportive of his dream and Symere would constantly upload songs to Soundcloud. One day, a listener to his music on Soundcloud would tell him he sounded like a “Lil Uzi” since he rapped so fast, leading Symere to taking that and combining it with Vert, short for Vertical. However, that combo maybe a double entendre... From here, Lil Uzi Vert was born.
Uzi’s work would finally pay off when DJ Diamond Kuts would hear one of his songs from his first project, Purple Thoughtz Vol. 1. This would lead to Uzi getting one of his songs played on Philly’s Power 99 Station. At this time, Don Cannon was driving around Philly and he would eventually run into this song on the radio. Cannon reached out to Uzi and produced his first mixtape, The Real Uzi. After the release of The Real Uzi, Uzi signed to Atlantic Records through Generation Now. From here, he would go on tour with Fall Out Boy and Wiz Khalifa and feature on many artists’ songs. He had done it. He had achieved the fame he wanted. However, Uzi still wanted that superstar status and would take his next big step towards it by releasing his first big project, Luv Is Rage.
Luv Is Rage was released to a wider audience then Uzi normally got and drew many new people to him. It got very positive reviews and earned Uzi the title of being a breakout star of 2015. The project did feature a much different character then Uzi previously portrayed however. Now, instead of focusing mostly on hip hop exclusively, he set to combine it with styles of other influences he had, such as My Chemical Romance or Nirvana. This new style was very melodic and had a rocker vibe, which many would gravitate towards. Life was great for Uzi. He was making it big, had a hit project, a loving girlfriend by the name of Brittney and a solid fanbase. But this wouldn’t be all, as a few months later, he would release his biggest song yet, Money Longer. Immediately following that, he would release his second big project, Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World, strongly inspired by Scott Pilgram vs. The World.
Vs. The World was a hit. For many, it’s the defining project of 2016 and, among many younger people, is hailed as one of the best mixtapes ever made. Hell, back in 2016, people I knew were only listening to this tape as far as music went and were constantly quoting it. Even my football coach was quoting his lyrics and using random Uzi lines to motivate our team, since he was so popular with people my age. Everyone at my high school was listening to Uzi nearly exclusively and always talking about what he’d do next, as well as constantly posting pictures of him with quotes he never said on Snapchat, before Youngboy had that honor. Yup, those were the days. Uzi, his many watches, Scott Pilgram inspired hair, eccentric fashion choices, melodies and, of course, his girlfriend, Brittney, were and still are absolutely iconic to the year 2016. However, this was only the beginning to an absolutely insane year. Next, Uzi would take part in what is possibly the most legendary XXL Freshman Cypher ever, alongside Denzel Curry, Lil Yachty, 21 Savage and Kodak Black. Many agreed that Uzi was a standout from the cypher and many new fans were drawn to Uzi from it. Also around this time, he was featured on Migos’ smash hit, Bad and Boujee, and also on Future and DJ Esco’s hit, Too Much Sauce. To capitalize on all this, he was dropping constant new songs on his SoundCloud throughout the year, such as fan favorite song Buy It. Things wouldn’t be all good though, as around this time, Uzi would break up with his girlfriend and find that he had many fake friends around him. Regardless, he would then go on to release his second mixtape of 2016, The Perfect Luv Tape. This tape focused much less on vocals and melodies and was mostly a return to rapping. It was a fun and light hip hop tape, that featured many hit songs such as Do What I Want and Erase Your Social. This hype train was far from over, as three months later, Uzi would drop a collab tape with trap legend, Gucci Mane. This tape would be a bit of a spin off of Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World, called 1017 vs. The World. To cap off his legendary 2016, Uzi had a tour with The Weeknd to look forward to. Little did we all know just what that tour would bring and how what would happen next would propel Uzi to absolute superstar status.
Brittney and Uzi’s break up hit him more then he let on. He went through some troubles afterwards, even worsening his drug use. During these hard times, he wrote much more somber songs. One of said songs would find its way to an EP called Luv Is Rage 1.5 (a prequel to his upcoming album, Luv Is Rage 2). The song, called XO Tour Lif3, as a reference to the tour he was on with The Weeknd, would be an absolute smash hit and possibly one of the most iconic songs ever made. This song would popularize what is now known as “Emo Rap”. The style wasn’t new, as it was being done by other artists, such as Yung Lean, Lil Peep and Bones, among others, but it had never been popular on this scale before. After this, Uzi would run with the emo aesthetic as a way to hype up Luv Is Rage 2. Taking massive inspiration from Marilyn Manson, he would put on a devil worshipping front and would go all in with the punk rockstar aesthetic. When released, Luv Is Rage 2 was everything this new aesthetic promised. We got deep cuts detailing his broken relationship, such as The Way Life Goes, songs that showed how much of rockstar he can be, such as Early 20 Rager, personal cuts about his family, such as Dark Queen and even new iconic bangers, such as 20 Min. This album was a hit with the numbers, received positive reviews and is well loved by many. It even would get him nominated for best new artist at the Grammy’s. Uzi was on top of the world. However, some pretty rough times were coming up.
Uzi has a fairly mundane 2018 at first. There were some positive moments to come out of it, such as his hilarious verse on Lil Tracy’s Like a Farmer remix, teasing many iconic snippets and him getting clean after the death of Lil Peep, an artist he greatly admired, but it was mostly a year of us riding the high that 2017 Uzi provided. Uzi would set the rap world on fire when he revealed the cover art for his next album, Eternal Atake. Immediately, everyone was hyped due to the very interesting concept the cover had, in that it was modeled after the Heavens Gate logo. Uzi then started going with a new alien/cult leader type aesthetic, abandoning the devil worshipping punk rockstar aesthetic. That October, Uzi released, what was at the time, the first single from the album. This song, called New Patek, was a six minute banger teased in an iconic snippet and was universally praised and hailed as one of his best songs. The world was watching. Everyone was expecting a legendary album to dropped.
Then we waited. We waited a long time. Well, turns out there was behind the scenes drama going on with the making of this album. Uzi, DJ Drama and Don Cannon all had a falling out, as they wouldn’t let him release it. On top of that, the remainder of the Heavens Gate cult was threatening Uzi with a lawsuit. Uzi even briefly retired from rap. Hell, recently we learned there was an album he was making with Pharrell that was scrapped in all this chaos. Also, I’m pretty sure that his anticipated tape with Playboi Carti, 16*29, was scrapped in this time, unless I’m mistaken. On top of this, rumors say that he had some pretty bad drama going on with his step brother who allegedly murdered someone. It was a mess. This would all cumulate in Uzi dropping a track called “Free Uzi” which turned into a campaign supported by multiple people. Worst part is that a lot of tracks, many of which are hailed as Uzi’s very best songs, from the Eternal Atake sessions leaked, pretty much destroying any chance of getting the OG album. Two of those leaks, Sanguine Paradise and That’s a Rack, were eventually officially released, however. 2018 and early 2019 were hard on Uzi. Many wondered if he’d ever be able to get back on his feet. Fortunately, JAY-Z stepped in and “freed” Uzi, signing him to Roc Nation. After this, Uzi still withheld the album. He teased it many times, but it never would release. Fans then wondered if it’d ever drop. Most just gave up hope that it was even real anymore. Eternal Atake was looked at as the new Detox. Dead in the water, just another scrapped album.
Then something happened. Uzi dropped a new song, Futsal Shuffle 2020, claiming it was Eternal Atake’s first single. Yeah, okay. He’s probably capping. Then a couple months later he dropped That Way, a song with an amazing Backstreet Boys sample and said it was from Eternal Atake. Again, yeah sure. Then in February of 2020 he said Eternal Atake would drop in two weeks. Nobody really took it seriously. Then he dropped a high budget trailer, returning to the alien cult leader aesthetic in the process. Okay, it’s getting interesting. He then let the fans pick out the new cover for Eternal Atake. Could this be real? Then three days later he dropped it early. Eternal Atake was not only real, but it was here. Then, the next week, Uzi promised a deluxe with all the grails people begged for. He then revealed that it was not only a deluxe, but a second half to Eternal Atake, this half being a sequel to his album Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World. Two Uzi albums in one year. One being one of the most hotly anticipated albums ever and the other a sequel to a beloved mixtape that some consider a classic.
Nowadays, Symere Woods is one of the most iconic artists there is. Known for his now many face tattoos, constantly changing hairstyles, crazy outfits and wide ranging music. He is an icon, he stands out in the crowd, he has a very interesting look, a unique sound and he has a devoted fan base. Uzi is now the king of the world. But in a new world where COVID-19 ran rampant, Uzi thrived as a major source of entertainment in these times. He is often said to have carried 2020 on his back even. But is this statement true? Were the releases that good? Did they live up to the hype? Are they even worth a listen?
Review Part 1: Eternal Atake
I would like to apologize for going so hard on that background. However, I feel it is completely necessary to detail Uzi’s entire story for this project. This is what Uzi’s entire career has lead up to. Every single move Symere Woods has made these last few years all cumulated in this project. This project can be viewed to Uzi what Tha Carter 3 was to Lil Wayne and what DS2 was to Future. It marks the climax of a rising star and will set expectations in both fans and the mainstream for where Uzi’s career will go to next. Also forgive me if I got some events out of order.
I think I should clarify this. I was a pretty big hater of Uzi’s this time last year. I thought his music was subpar and had not heard a whole lot of it. However, Eternal Atake changed that. When I went in not expecting something that had a massive concept and lyricism, I was greeted with a very versatile, yet consistent body of work that had a pretty slick concept and story. I would later find more music of Uzi’s with some substance and more to say on other projects, but I think here he very smartly just sticks to having a blast and taking the audience on an upbeat trip through his world. This is not a darker project with some deeper cuts in there like Luv Is Rage 2 was, this is just Uzi in his most fun loving form yet. Some fans will not like that, as they wanted a more hard hitting Uzi like we got last time around, however, I think it was the way to go for this project, as it not only creates a nice parallel to Uzi’s last major release, but it also helped to have some upbeat music amidst the Coronavirus, racial injustices, riots, etc. It was the album I felt we needed and to make life a little bit better in the trying times. On top of that, this album is a huge release for Uzi and would definitely serve as an introduction for thousands of new fans and I think him doing music he’s completely confident in and that is easier to digest and jam to is the way to go. The more serious topics can wait for a future release, for now it’s all about making a banger of an album and giving the audience a good time.
The album does have a story to it that is told through skits. The story is about Uzi being abducted by aliens, encountering a cult on the ship, while trying to escape. The cult may symbol how he has a “cult following”, which is hinted at in a song in the second half of the album. It’s a pretty unique concept and is fun, I also appreciate that he put the extra effort in. While Uzi is messing around in the ship, he travels to different world trying to make it home, each one he travels to introduces a different persona.
We start the album with the persona of “Baby Pluto”. Baby Pluto is the persona Uzi has seemed to have stuck with for most of 2020 as well, especially on then upcoming his collabs with big Pluto himself, Future. Baby Pluto is the Uzi of 2012-2014. Focused on fast flows, this version of Uzi has very little melodies and is just focused on making fast paced and breakneck bangers. The standouts of this section of the album include the Baby Pluto title track, the very catchy Lo Mein and You Better Move, which, in classic Uzi fashion, samples Space Cadet Pinball. Baby Pluto is a much more traditional rapper then the upcoming personas. Another key to this persona is that it’s production feels very over the top and very frantic. Uzi claims this is sound like a spaceship blasting off which I can definitely see. This persona ultimately concludes once we reach Homecoming, a banger of a track consisting of disco type production. Also, before I forget, we have to mention POP and it’s infamous “Balenci” lyrics. I mean, hey, the album wouldn’t be complete without a meme arising from it, so I think it can slide. And just like that, the album starts with a bang, or perhaps a pop (sorry I had to). All the songs are memorable and all of them are hits. After this, Uzi travels to a new planet, entering his new persona, Renji.
The Renji persona has a higher pitched voice, combines faced paced rapping and some melodies and goes over much more cartoonish production. In this section, we are greeted to some absolutely fantastic tracks such as Celebration Station, which seems to be a sound Uzi likes replicating on other songs post Eternal Atake, Prices, a Travis Scott sampling epic, which is by far the best song on here to me and also Bust Me. This Renji persona seems to exist as a way to satisfy all types of Uzi fans. The ones who want melodic and more emotional Uzi will enjoy Chrome Heart Tags and I’m Sorry, while fans of faster paced and more fun loving Uzi will enjoy Celebration Station, Bigger Than Life, Prices and Bust Me. Speaking of I’m Sorry, Uzi briefly returned to his emo roots for that song, which is sure to be enjoyable for fans of that style, however I appreciated how he kept it cheeky, as it seems he was apologizing to his fans for the long wait as well. The production on this section of the album is much more relaxed sounding ranges from light and bubbly, such as on Celebration Station, to downright epic, such as on Prices, but I never feel that it doesn’t feel consistent, as none of them are beats that feel overly aggressive. With the end of Prices, Uzi crash lands back on Earth. This time we enter a new persona, the one and only, Lil Uzi Vert.
Lil Uzi Vert is the Uzi we all know and love. High pitched melodies, such as Venetia, mixed with more raspy melodies, such as Secure The Bag. This is classic and also new melodic Uzi presented together in a nice harmony. However, the standout to me is Urgency, an absolutely fantastic song with a feature from Syd), a very talented singer who was a member of legendary hip hop group Odd Future, along with the likes of Tyler The Creator, Earl Sweatshirt and Frank Ocean. Here we get every type of melodic Uzi presented in one song. We hear the raspy voiced one, the high pitched one and the more mellow sounding one. Uzi presents all his vocal ranges here, presenting an insanely catch hook and also a pretty solid rapping verse. Syd then stops by for a pretty nice verse as well as harmonizing with Uzi. To me, this song feels like a spiritual successor to The Way Life Goes, but I can’t place my finger on why. The second stand out here is Venetia, with its fast paced raps and the infectiously delightful “yeah yeah” adlibs, along with an album best verse in its second verse. Secure The Bag also sticks out, with Uzi’s yelling raspy voice, taking us back to the Luv Is Rage 1 days. Then we conclude with Uzi making it to shore and saying that he has to drop the album as he was missing for too long on that ship, a cheeky way of explaining why he hasn’t released, and then we go to the next track, P2. P2 is the sequel to XO Tour Lif3, bringing us full circle back to Uzi’s big breakout hit. This time, however, Uzi seems content with the breakup, he seems happier with it. I think this song shows us that Uzi has accepted that him and Brittney didn’t work and that he’s done with the hard feelings he held in the first part, while also presenting us with a full circle conclusion for the album. The album then ends with Uzi thanking his fans.
The next two bonus tracks are the singles released, That Way and Futsal Shuffle 2020. I like that they’re here as bonuses. Both are very good, especially That Way. As for Futsal Shuffle, it’s a very weird song that sounds like a trashy 2007 pop track, but Uzi makes it work as a throwback. The dance it inspired was alright too I guess, glad to see people had fun with it. I’m glad both songs still made the tracklist, as I feel they both are worthy enough to be on it, even if it’d be hard to place them in one of the album’s sections.
A fantastic album. A great sampler or what Uzi has to offer that also feels consistent and like a coherent album. All going along with a pretty engaging story. The album actually reminds me a good bit of Uzi’s XXL Freshman classmate, Denzel Curry, in that it is structured very similarly to his album, TA13OO. Uzi possibly could have took some inspiration from him there and it is very cool to see another artist succeed with a structure like that. Anyway, there isn’t a single dull moment here. For some, 18 tracks can be very cluttered, but Uzi manages to make all the songs sound fun and even if some maybe a bit similar, they are oozing with character that makes them still stand out enough to work. With this album, Uzi proves that this is his world and we are all just tourist in it.
But we’re not done yet. As I said, there is a second half we must talk about. We’ve only played two quarters of this ball game and it’s a good game so far. How will the rest of it be?
Review Part 2: Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World 2
The second half of this album, a “deluxe”, would end up starting a major trend. Now it seems every artist has hopped on the wave of having a second half as a deluxe album. The influence of this album is already present. This second half is already iconic. That really says something in my opinion. Anyway, influence aside, this half is pretty great as well. LUV vs. The World 2 is labeled as a sequel to Uzi’s most beloved tape, because it has all of Uzi’s most hyped up grails. The songs the fans have begged for on a sequel to their favorite tape only seems right. For many, THIS is the part they’ve been waiting for.
If Eternal Atake was a trip through space, Vs. The World 2 is a trip through time. It’s quite interesting, as you can tell the age of songs by Uzi’s vocal style, his flows and by which songs he says he no longer does drugs on. We begin our trip in 2018 through Myron, Lotus and Bean, all of which were among Uzi’s most anticipated snippets, especially Lotus. Now, I wasn’t the biggest Uzi fan before, as I stated, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to Myron after the snippet he dropped of it right after New Patek released.
As I said before, I was hyped for Myron. Hell, Myron is the song I was even looking forward to Eternal Atake for, before my time as an Uzi fan. At first, I wasn’t a fan of the actual song, as it’s slowed down a good bit from the original snippet, however, I’ve grown to really enjoy it. The more slowed down voice fits as a strong opener to this sequel project, as Vs. The World 1 was done almost entirely with that voice, so it makes it easier to jump right into here once you finish that one. The song has Uzi spitting over some Christmasy production, all while testing his vocal range with some especially dry yells near the end and also some high pitched vocals sprinkled in. To sum it up, it slaps. Next up is Lotus, which was perhaps the most anticipated hip hop snippet in history. A lot of people were disappointed with it and said the mixing was off, but I personally fucking love Lotus. The song is catchy as fuck and the vocals are very loud on it, which I personally like, as that is the main draw to the song for me. The last verse especially is great, as it fits hand in hand with the hook before. All of this going over some pretty mild, yet spacey production makes for an amazing track. Next up is Bean, or Kobe, as it includes a reference to the now late basketball player and sports legend, Kobe Bryant. This was a song long anticipated and another snippet that fans had been begging for nearly two years for. This song contains the deep voiced and menacing Chief Keef going hand in hand vocally with Uzi’s childlike screeches and high pitched voice. The energy Uzi carries on the song feels a lot like the energy he delivered on Lotus, making it a very consistent transition. This three track trip to 2018 delivered us with three straight knockouts, instantly drawing the audience back into Uzi’s colorful world. However, right as we get comfortable, we’re transported back further into the past. We’re taken to the 2016 XXL Cypher, where we reunite with an old friend, 21 Savage.
Yessirskiii is possibly my favorite song from this project, it’s between it and another track we will get to in a bit. This song reminds me of the 2016 XXL Cypher not just because of 21 Savage on it, but also because Uzi’s elated flow and vocals mixed with 21 Savage’s dry and unenthusiastic vocals make for a similar experience to that legendary cypher, while also being wildly entertaining. 21 Savage glides effortlessly on the production done by Pi’erre Bourne, in what is one of his best beats yet. Savage also delivers one of my favorite hooks of the year so far as well, one that is very simple, but very catchy. Uzi then comes in with his signature high pitched rapping style and if Savage glides over the beat, Uzi rides it, presenting us with a completely different style of rapping over it that also feels consistent with what Savage did. The track concludes with Savage’s hook, leaving you wanting an instant encore. Immediately following this high, we’re taken to the future with a song with none other then Future himself. Wassup is a song that acts as a teaser to Uzi’s then future project with Future. Uzi presents his signature melodies and long stretching of words in an insanely catchy hook. He then delivers a very strong verse, humbly flexing that he can’t win every time, but does most of the time at least. Among that are also some alien references, tying into the first half of the album nicely. Future then comes in and gives another solid verse, not his most memorable, but still solid nonetheless. The track concludes and what we’re left with is a great little glimpse into the future that we didn’t know was coming at the time, here Baby Pluto x Pluto was truly born. After this, we are taken back to the present, at least for two tracks.
Strawberry Peels is a short, yet very sweet, collaboration with Young Thug and Gunna. Thugger gives us a breakneck hook over some wild production, Gunna drops a solid enough verse then Uzi comes in perfectly matching Thugger’s energy. Uzi rapping over the frantic production before going into Thugger’s last hook is the perfect reminder of why these two work so well together. I Can Show You presents us with some classical(?) sounding production with Uzi delivering some Celebration Station types flows over it. It’s an Eternal Atake track vocally, but a new sound production wise. I like it a lot. It feels familiar yet new at the same time.
After our time in the present, we are transported back to 2017, when Luv Is Rage 2 came out. Moon Relate, a banger with some lyrics dealing with “pain” and a vibe that is similar to 20 Min. Based off of another much anticipated snippet, the song more then lived up to the hype. The song has super high pitched vocals and feels like Uzi at his most unhinged, a stark contrast from the vibe of the first Vs. The World, but adding tons of character to this new project. Even if you never heard the much anticipated snippet, you can tell this track is from that Luv Is Rage 2 era with its sound and it is a great revisit to that era. Next up we have what is the best song on the tape and what is, in my opinion, one of Uzi’s best songs period. Come This Way is absolutely fantastic. For it, we are taken back to 2016, when the snippet of it was first previewed. This song sounds exactly like something that’d be on the first tape and is definitely able to compete with the best songs from that tape, such as Grab The Wheel and Money Longer. The song has 2016 Uzi’s classic raspy voice and has modern Uzi’s more high pitched voice at different points throughout the song, making it a satisfaction for those who prefer one or the other. It is clearly a transition track from a transition era in Uzi’s career, that being late 2016, and it sounds absolutely fantastic. The song shows Uzi’s vocal range, all while providing what may be my favorite hook of the year. People have begged for 2016 Uzi to return and its only right that we get the perfect 2016 Uzi track in the sequel to his defining project of that year.
Next up we go back to late 2018 where we get Trap This Way, a song previewed in another wildly popular snippet from that time. First off, I appreciate this track coming after Come This Way since they have similar titles, but beyond that, this is a great track. The hook is catchy, the verses are good and the song is an all around banger. This song and the last represent my two favorite Uzi eras, 2016 and 2018, solidifying this as a great project even before we reach the end.
Next up is the Lil Wayne sampling banger, No Auto. which features Lil Durk. The song is mean, it’s vicious and it’s classic “murder” music. The sample is great and brings us back to 2004, the days of Tha Carter 1, but the sample does not go to waste, as it provides a very hard hitting beat for the harsh lyrics. The song just all around bangs, even if it’s not quite as good as the best of this tape. For the next song, Money Spread, we go to the year 2019, to the day Sli’merre was released. The production by Pi’erre sounds ripped straight from Sli’merre and the feature by Young Nudy is great, yet very foul and nasty. Uzi is great and does very well on the strange production, but Mr. Nudy is who really shines here, with him telling us that he will put his white stuff on our girlfriend’s butts and that she’s promoting his nuts. It is absolutely absurd. Besides that, the song feels a bit like a spiritual successor to the Sli’merre track, Extendo, the last collaboration between Pi’erre, Nudy and Uzi. All of it is a nice throwback to one of 2019’s best tapes. For Got The Guap, we are returned to the week before this tape came out, with another song that has a very similar vibe to Celebration Station. Uzi has a much more muted and calm voice then usual on here and I really like it, it’s nice when he does new things with his voice. Uzi gives us a catchy hook and good verses, touching on how God has helped him and flexes all his accomplishments. I also enjoy the melodies he puts in his first verse. Thugger then stops by for another feature, effortlessly matching Uzi’s energy. The song is a ton of fun.
And finally we conclude the album with the NAV featuring song, Leaders. NAV makes up most of the song, but gives a solid performance. The song is meant to lead right into Eternal Atake, as it focuses on cult followings and relating them to cult leaders, which is a theme in Eternal Atake as we know by the Heaven’s Gate marketing. Nav relates his status to Jim Jones, while Uzi does to Marshall Applewhite, leader of Heaven’s Gate. I think this song is a great Segway into Eternal Atake and concludes this album on a nice note. I think this whole album being before Eternal Atake on the track list makes sense, as it feels like it shows us what songs preceded the album and the road that lead us there.
A great album. Not only that, a fantastic double album. Uzi shows every bit of talent he has across these 32 tracks and on every one of them, he brings his eccentricity to the forefront and shows the world why the weirdos now run the music industry. Everything he set out to do since high school has now come to fruition and Uzi is now one of the kings of hip hop and music in general.
Favorite Lyrics

One eye open, ‘Luminati like Fetty Wap.

• Lil Uzi Vert on Silly Watch

Balenci Balenci Balenci Balenci Balenci

• Lil Uzi Vert on POP

Get money like Anthony Hop. Silence the lamb and your ass’ll get chopped

• Lil Uzi Vert on Prices

They laugh at me because I’m emo, I killed my girlfriend that’s why I’m single

• Lil Uzi Vert on That Way

No, statistically I can’t win everytime, but you know the score is probably like 10-3. And them three times I had to take an L, I remember them boys tried to finish me. Said we roll a Wood, I roll like 50 L’s.

• Lil Uzi Vert on Wassup

Strawberry Peels, Strawberry Peels, Strawberry Peels, Strawberry Peels

• Young Thug on Strawberry Peels

Pain

• Lil Uzi Vert on Moon Relate

I got your bitch over here promoting my nuts. Your hoe is a slut, hit it from the back, n*gga, put it it in her guts. Yeah, slap it on her butt, whole lotta white stuff on her butt

• Young Nudy on Money Spread

We from the same hood , that’s a nickel and dime. That’s all we know. God gave me the opportunity to open doors

• Lil Uzi Vert on Got The Guap

No, I’m not Marshall Applewhite, but I’m tryna phone home

• Lil Uzi Vert on Leaders

Questions
• Did Eternal Atake live up to the hype for you? If not, did you still enjoy it?
• Do you think the version of Eternal Atake we got is better or worse then the one we could’ve gotten in 2018, based off what you heard from leaks? What songs do you feel should’ve been kept on?
• What do you think of this deluxe trend? Do you think that it will last? Do you think Uzi handled it well on this project?
• Did the full songs of snippets live up to the hype for you?
• Which half did you like more, Eternal Atake or Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World 2?
• Fans that consider Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World as a classic or even just as a great tape, did the sequel live up to the first one for you?
• Do you miss Uzi’s old 2016 style like many others? Are you happy he seems to be bringing it back?

-Introduction-
I know inhalants are stupid as fuck and you should never do them but it's too late to change the past. I've wanted to tell this story for a long time. I also don't ever suggest that anyone tries them because you'll be asking for brain damage.
I'm going to be trying to upload this on Erowid too.
EDIT: I've uploaded this story on Bluelight because I was getting suggestions to upload it there.
Click here to view.
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This report is going to be about multiple experiences I've had with huffing and uppers in general. Some experiences may be hard to describe so please bare with me. I'd like to start out by saying I am diagnosed with Severe Depression, Anxiety, ADD, and PTSD. Which have all been professionally diagnosed. I have been through a lot and have experienced things I shouldn't have at such a young age and I am honestly lucky to be alive. I have always been very tuned in to my emotions and think about my emotions differently than most people do. But anyway, I have used Marijuana, Alcohol, Nicotine, LSD, Mushrooms, DPH (Benadryl), DXM (Robitussin), Adderall, Methylphenidate, Methamphetamine, Xanax, Ativan, Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Tramadol, and Inhalants. But for this report, I am going to be focusing on my use of stimulants and how they led me to do inhalants. I'm not really able to relate to a lot of people my age and I wanna be able to share my experiences with these substances somewhere people will most likely understand.
-How it started-
Growing up I wasn't really what you would call "popular" I got bullied a lot in elementary school and was what I would call an outcast in middle school. I also wasn't the smartest of people. I dealt with different forms of abuse growing up and it definitely affected me mentally. Around 3rd and 5th grade I started having a lot of problems focusing in school and on everything around me. My teacher started to notice this after yelling at me in front of the class for almost the entire year for not being able to finish any of my school work. The teacher called my parents and my parents took me into a psychiatrist's office where they got me prescribed ADHD meds. They actually did help at first but they actually ended up making my anxiety/depression worse. This led to me getting put on a plethora of different ADHD meds and having a large amount of fully filled pill bottles left over.
-Stimulants and Psychedelics-
In 7th grade, I started drinking and stealing my parent's alcohol on occasion. But it wasn't until 8th grade after I stopped getting prescribed my ADD meds that I actually tried to get high off of them. I was already drinking a lot and getting high off various OTC allergy meds and taking my mother's marijuana/buying it off dealers that I actually tried getting high off of them. The only reason I even thought about it was because a friend at school told me I'm just letting them go to waste sitting around in my medicine cabinet. (Unfortunately, that friend was only using me for my ADD meds because she wanted to get high and lose weight because she was fat asf.) In my head, I didn't have any reason to deny it because it would have been an easy way to get high. The next morning I woke up and dug viciously through the back of my medicine cabinet until I found all of my old prescription bottles. I read the pill bottles and they all said that they didn't expire for a good amount of time so I grabbed what I thought was the most well-known pill (Adderall XR) and I put 10 of them in a zip-lock bag. I put the pills in my pocket and I rushed onto the school bus. Once I got to school I met up with her in the morning and we both split the 10 pills with each other equally and we planned to take them at 6th period because 7th period was gym class and they would have gotten a decent amount of time to kick in. I waited for 6th period and with no hesitation, I asked to go to the bathroom and I grabbed a plastic water bottle I had leftover from a week before out of my locker. I walked towards the water fountains (which were right next to the bathrooms) and I filled up my water bottle. After filling up my water bottle I walked into the bathroom and went to the last stall. I opened up the plastic bag and dumped the 5 pills I had left into my mouth and took a fatass swig from my water bottle. I hit my JUUL in the bathroom while I was at it and I texted my friend to check if she took the pills too. She texted me saying that she already took them so we were good to go for 7th period. While getting to 7th period I started to get this slight feeling of excitement and paranoia so I assumed it was the Adderall. I was then taken back by what seemed to be a huge punch across the face of adrenaline and euphoria. I felt euphoria similar to this from syrup but never this strong. I felt like I was on top of the world. I felt like I could do anything. All my depression, anxiety, and worries washed away as every step I took felt like I was running up the staircase to heaven. I was first to finish on the track and I was dripping with sweat and I felt very excited and talkative. This was very strange for everyone to watch because I was known as one of the quiet kids in school. During the end of 8th grade, I continued to do this off and on for a while until I ended up running out of pill bottles. By the beginning of 9th grade, I was starting to develop PTSD from past trauma but I started to gain popularity from being very social and I was buying the pills off the street when I was able to. I switched to meth because it was cheaper but gave me a bigger rush of euphoria. By the end of 9th grade to the end of summer. I was having a hard time trying to find dealers that sold it so I forced myself to stop. But I did in fact have a dealer that sold LSD and shrooms. Buying them for the first time I accidentally discovered that it gave me a similar feeling that amphetamines gave me. This led me to do a lot of acid because I enjoyed the similar rush of euphoria. It wasn't until the beginning of 10th grade that I wanted that powerful rush back. I then figured out how to make meth myself with nasal congestants n shit to avoid the hassle of finding dealers and buying it with my own money when I could just shoplift shit from the store and make it at home.
-Inhalants, LSD, and Meth-
I started to get sick of having to spend all my money on drugs and finding the money in the first place so I went around and begged my friends for their drugs. Obviously, they got sick of doing this so I sought out for cheap alternatives. Also during this time, I would say my Depression and Anxiety were at it's worst and I was trying to numb the pain from my PTSD instead of getting the proper help for it. It's funny that around the same time I was put into an art class that used Elmer's Rubber Cement for gluing together pieces of metal. My friend and I heard of people getting high off the shit in the past but I never thought of trying it for myself. While we were doing our work I read the back of the bottle and read, "Do not breathe dust/fume/gas/mist/vapors/spray." So of course my dumbass gave it a few sniffs when nobody was looking. I started to get a warm tingly feeling throughout my body after a few sniffs and I quickly stuffed it into the side pocket on my jacket and I asked to go to the bathroom. Once I was in the bathroom I went into the last stall and sat down on the toilet. I opened the container and set the lid upside down on the toilet paper rack so the glue from the brush wouldn't drip all over the place. I wiped the glue off from around the lid and I stuck my mouth over the container and started breathing in the fumes from the glue. I got that same warm and tingly feeling after a few huffs so I kept going. After what I would say about 10-15 strong huffs I started to feel a very strong rush of euphoria with a wave of relaxation and numbness throughout my entire body. I couldn't feel the bottom half of my face and my focus started to only be on the glue container. After a countless amount of huffs, I put down the container and stared deeply into the floor. I felt like my brain was getting fried and I felt dissociated from reality. I started to hear what sounded like a powerline shooting out electricity and a lot of loud pops. My ears were ringing and I was also hearing what sounded like a pounding noise off in the distance. The lights started to flicker and I started to get a "wah-wah" sound in my ears like the sound was coming in and out in chops and waves. I started to get a strange feeling of deja vu like I've felt this feeling before but I couldn't put my finger on it. I got up, put the cap on the container, and put the container back in my pocket. I stumbled back to class and sat down and the feeling lasted for a good 10 minutes before fully going away. I couldn't stop thinking about the experience for the rest of the day. I never experienced a feeling like that. The closest thing I could compare it to was having a seizure. A normal person would probably think in their head, "Hey, maybe that's a sign I shouldn't fucking do that anymore." But in my fucked up head I thought it was a very interesting experience. So when I got home the first thing I did was run to my room and crack open the bottle of rubber cement. I went on Facetime with my friend from art class and I described to them how it made me feel so I showed them how I did it. They watched me huff the container of rubber cement and I honestly could tell they were kind of scared but I didn't care. I kept huffing and I got that same feeling I got from in the bathroom. I got that same deja vu feeling and I remember telling them, "I feel like I've been here before." I felt as if I felt that feeling before but I was forbidden by the universe to feel that feeling. I thought that God or some higher power didn't allow humans to experience that feeling but I found a secret way that nobody else knew to experience that feeling. I felt that I was special because nobody else in the world has ever experienced what that feeling was. The feeling I got was unlike any drug I've ever experienced and I loved it. After I came off of it I hung up the phone with my friend and continued to huff the rubber cement. I continued to do this for several days until I ran out of glue. I was pissed as fuck because I knew there was no other way I could feel that way ever again so I convinced my dad to take me to Walmart and allow me to buy two big containers of glue. For the next two weeks after buying it I scraped up enough money to try to get a shit ton of tabs off my dealer and I huffed and would drop 3-6 190 ug - 250 ug tabs at the same time. The visuals I would get from the combo were intense. It would feel as the LSD visuals would take over and I would go into dream states that I can't describe. I ended up running out of LSD and glue so I researched more things that I could huff. I discovered that you could get high off huffing gasoline. After reading this I waited for everyone to go to sleep and I went to the kitchen and grabbed a large water bottle out of the cabinet. After grabbing the water bottle I snuck outside and went into the shed where there were two containers of gas for the lawnmower. I poured the gasoline into the water bottle and I sealed it uptight. I quickly ran out of the shed and hurried back inside where I quietly ran into my room. I sat down on my bed and I opened the water bottle and started huffing the gas. I got a very warm fuzzy feeling similar to the glue from the gas. I kept huffing and I got a similar feeling that glue gave me but the euphoria wasn't as strong. I kept huffing the gasoline until I started to blackout and nod off. I didn't realize it while I was out but when I came to I noticed some of the gasoline spilled onto the bed. The puddle was admitting a very strong smell of gasoline so I closed the container and set it on my nightstand. I ripped the bedsheet off my bed, threw it in my closet, and flipped over the mattress. I sprayed Febreeze hoping the smell would go away. I put the container in an old bookbag in my closet and went to bed. The next day I woke up to my Mom saying my room smells like chemicals. I said the quickest thought that came to my head and I told her it was the rubber cement we had to use for art class. I lied to her and told her it had a very strong smell and that I spilled it on my mattress and that's why I flipped it over. She believed me and didn't think to look through my room. That night I went to my shed and got more gas and ran back to my room. Instead of sitting in the middle of my room for the whole house to smell it I went into my closet and sat down and continued to huff the gas. I kept huffing for a few weeks until I wasn't getting satisfied with the high the water bottle was giving me so I grabbed a bigger one and filled it up. I went into my room and huffed it some more and got an even better high than the first time. It was not until this time when I started getting actual hallucinations from my huffing. It first started with little whispers to sounds of a vacuum running to full-on portals on my wall and people. I remember one time while huffing I was looking at the floor watching an army of people the size of legos carrying a foreign object. I laughed and thought it was funny as they played tug of war to see who will win the large object. After a few more days I started to wonder if I could mix the leftover glue in the containers with the gasoline. To my surprise, it seemed that the two solvents mixed together in the glue container and basically made a new form of thick glue but a very bright color. This was when I would say my huffing got to it's worst. My mental state was the worst it ever was, my grades were all F's and my friends were starting to get really worried about me. Still, I wanted more. The gas and glue on their own weren't satisfying me. I wanted to get that rush of euphoria that meth gave me but feel this feeling at the same time. I did more research and I found out that Raid and other wasp sprays can give u a similar rush to methamphetamine. At the same time, I started to attempt to buy amphetamines off the streets again or try to make it myself. I started to take pills or crushed up meth and spray the Raid onto it to boost the high. The high I would get from the bug spray was intense. I would start to feel a burning feeling throughout my face and my nose would get very stuffy. I would then start to get a huge rush of adrenaline and euphoria. After this, my body would start to feel really stiff and tense and I would start to have hallucinations. The closest thing I could compare it to was the tracker jacker scene from the Hunger Games. The only difference was I was getting motion trails at the same time.
-Suicide Attempt-
After two weeks of doing this dumbass shit, I thought I would try to commit suicide from huffing the gas. I went into my closet when nobody was awake and opened up the gas container mixed it with the glue. I kept huffing over and over and over until I felt my body slowing down. The sound of the fan on my desk started to lower in pitch and I watched my vision start going out and I closed my eyes. I started to feel my heart almost completely get to stop when something told me, "Stop! Think about the people that care about you." After hearing this I opened my eyes and started breathing heavily to get oxygen to my brain. I thought about what I just did and realized suicide wasn't worth it. Not because I cared about myself but because I didn't want my family and friends to suffer since they already had a lot of issues themselves. I tried to control the huffing the next few weeks and I dumped the gas container out somewhere down the street. I was fine for a few days until I couldn't fucking take it anymore. I felt like the cravings and withdrawals from the amphetamines were taking over me. I gave up and I went back to huffing and I lied to my friends and told them I was sober. Around this time it was getting very obvious that something was up to the people around me. I was blacking out and running around the house doing god knows what only to have my family find me passed out on the ground smelling like literal death. I made multiple promises to my family and friends that I was going to get my fucking shit under control and to stop the huffing. It wasn't until one morning after a night of promising to my family and friends that I'm gonna stop that I proved to myself I was wrong. I got out of bed and ran straight to my closet and started huffing without even thinking. I nodded off and I knocked over the gas container. The smell filled up the house and my Dad came into my room and started questioning me. I was too fucked up to even understand what he was saying because my brain was too fried up to comprehend what was going on. After staring at him for 30 seconds I was able to hear him say, "Come into the kitchen now." I stumbled through the whole house and he didn't even bother to help me after I almost collapsed onto the floor. I assume he was just very angry though. I walked into the kitchen and my Mom asked me if I was huffing and I told her I was. I told them I couldn't stop. My Mom cried and hugged me and told me that she's gonna try to get me help.
-Recovery-
After this, I spent a lengthy stay at a psych hospital and then got transported to a rehab facility. If It wasn't for my parents catching me that day I probably wouldn't be here right now. I'm finally sober and I'm no longer suicidal anymore. Also, I'm sorry if this story was kinda shitty or confusing because this is the first time I've ever written something like this. But thanks for taking the time out of your day for reading it. Don't try inhalants. They're not fucking worth it. I'm still recovering from some damage it's done to my brain and my memory is fucking horrible now. People tell me full-on conversations I've had with them or experiences I've had with them and I don't remember any second of it. I also am having serious problems with my heart and I had a stroke while in rehab. I wish I was making this up but it is what it is. I'm hoping and trying my best to at least stay clean off of all this fucked up shit for the rest of my life.

We will keep their lives short and their minds weak while pretending to do the opposite. We will use our knowledge of science and technology in subtle ways so that they never see what is happening. We will use soft metals, aging accelerators and sedatives in food and water as well as in the air. They will be covered in poisons wherever they turn.
The soft metals will make them lose their minds. We will promise to find a cure from our many funds, and yet we will give them more poison. Chemical poisons will be absorbed through the skin of idiots who believe that certain hygiene and beauty products presented by great actors and musicians, will bring eternal youth to their faces and bodies, and through their thirsty and hungry mouths, we will destroy their minds and systems of internal organs. reproduction. However, their children will be born as disabled and deformed and we will hide this information.
The poisons will be hidden in everything that surrounds them, in what they drink, eat, breathe and wear. We must be ingenious in dispensing the poisons for they can see far. We will teach them that the poisons are good, with fun images and musical tones. Those they look up to will help. We will enlist them to push our poisons. They will see our products being used in film and will grow accustomed to them and will never know their true effect.
When they give birth we will inject poisons into the blood of their children and convince them it is for their help. We will start early on, when their minds are young, we will target their children with what children love most, sweet things. When their teeth decay we will fill them with metals that will kill their mind and steal their future. When their ability to learn has been affected, we will create medicine that will make them sicker and cause other diseases for which we will create yet more medicine. We will render them docile and weak before us by our power.
They will grow depressed, slow and obese, and when they come to us for help, we will give them more poison. We will focus their attention toward money and material goods so they many never connect with their inner self. We will distract them with fornication, external pleasures and games so they may never be one with the oneness of it all. Their minds will belong to us and they will do as we say. If they refuse we shall find ways to implement mind-altering technology into their lives. We will use fear as our weapon. We will establish their governments and establish opposites within. We will own both sides. We will always hide our objective but carry out our plan.
They will perform the labour for us and we shall prosper from their toil. Our families will never mix with theirs. Our blood must be pure always, for it is the way. We will make them kill each other when it suits us. We will keep them separated from the oneness by dogma and religion. We will control all aspects of their lives and tell them what to think and how.
We will guide them kindly and gently letting them think they are guiding themselves. We will foment animosity between them through our factions. When a light shall shine among them, we shall extinguish it by ridicule, or death, whichever suits us best. We will make them rip each other's hearts apart and kill their own children. We will accomplish this by using hate as our ally, anger as our friend. The hate will blind them totally, and never shall they see that from their conflicts we emerge as their rulers. They will be busy killing each other. They will bathe in their own blood and kill their neighbours for as long as we see fit.
We will benefit greatly from this, for they will not see us, for they cannot see us. We will continue to prosper from their wars and their deaths. We shall repeat this over and over until our ultimate goal is accomplished.
We will continue to make them live in fear and anger though images and sounds. We will use all the tools we have to accomplish this. The tools will be provided by their labour. We will make them hate themselves and their neighbours. We will always hide the divine truth from them, that we are all one. This they must never know! They must never know that colour is an illusion, they must always think they are not equal.
Drop by drop, drop by drop we will advance our goal. We will take over their land, resources and wealth to exercise total control over them. We will deceive them into accepting laws that will steal the little freedom they will have. We will establish a money system that will imprison them forever, keeping them and their children in debt. When they shall band together, we shall accuse them of crimes and present a different story to the world for we shall own all the media. We will use our media to control the flow of information and their sentiment in our favour.
When they shall rise up against us we will crush them like insects, for they are less than that. They will be helpless to do anything for they will have no weapons. We will recruit some of their own to carry out our plans, we will promise them eternal life, but eternal life they will never have for they are not of us. The recruits will be called "initiates" and will be indoctrinated to believe false rites of passage to higher realms. Members of these groups will think they are one with us never knowing the truth. They must never learn this truth for they will turn against us. For their work they will be rewarded with earthly things and great titles, but never will they become immortal and join us, never will they receive the light and travel the stars. They will never reach the higher realms, for the killing of their own kind will prevent passage to the realm of enlightenment. This they will never know.
The truth will be hidden in their face, so close they will not be able to focus on it until its too late. Oh yes, so grand the illusion of freedom will be, that they will never know they are our slaves. When all is in place, the reality we will have created for them will own them. This reality will be their prison. They will live in self-delusion. When our goal is accomplished a new era of domination will begin. Their minds will be bound by their beliefs, the beliefs we have established from time immemorial. But if they ever find out they are our equal, we shall perish then. THIS THEY MUST NEVER KNOW.
If they ever find out that together they can vanquish us, they will take action. They must never, ever find out what we have done, for if they do, we shall have no place to run, for it will be easy to see who we are once the veil has fallen. Our actions will have revealed who we are and they will hunt us down and no person shall give us shelter. This is the secret covenant by which we shall live the rest of our present and future lives, for this reality will transcend many generations and life spans. This covenant is sealed by blood, our blood. We, the ones who from heaven to earth came.
This covenant must NEVER, EVER be known to exist. It must NEVER, EVER be written or spoken of for if it is, the consciousness it will spawn will release the fury of the PRIME CREATOR upon us and we shall be cast to the depths from whence we came and remain there until the end time of infinity itself.
PART 2 ——》
PART 2: The Jesuits are a Military Religious Order of the Roman Catholic Church Papal Keys "When a Jesuit of the minor rank is to be elevated to command, he is conducted into the Chapel of the Convent of the Order, where there are only three others present, the principal or Superior standing in front of the altar.
On either side stands a monk, one of whom holds a banner of yellow and white, which are the Papal colors, and the other a black banner with a dagger and red cross above a skull and crossbones, with the word INRI, and below them the words IUSTUM, NECAR, REGES, IMPIOUS. The meaning of which is: It is just to exterminate or annihilate impious or heretical Kings, Governments, or Rulers. Upon the floor is a red cross at which the postulant or candidate kneels. The Superior hands him a small black crucifix, which he takes in his left hand and presses to his heart, and the Superior at the same time presents to him a dagger, which he grasps by the blade and holds the point against his heart, the Superior still holding it by the hilt, and thus addresses the postulant:" Superior: "My son, heretofore you have been taught to act the dissembler: among Roman Catholics to be a Roman Catholic, and to be a spy even among your own brethren; to believe no man, to trust no man.
Among the Reformers, to be a reformer; among the Huguenots, to be a Huguenot; among the Calvinists, to be a Calvinist; among other Protestants, generally to be a Protestant, and obtaining their confidence, to seek even to preach from their pulpits, and to denounce with all the vehemence in your nature our Holy Religion and the Pope; and even to descend so low as to become a Jew among Jews, that you might be enabled to gather together all information for the benefit of your Order as a faithful soldier of the Pope." "You have been taught to insidiously plant the seeds of jealousy and hatred between communities, provinces, states that were at peace, and incite them to deeds of blood, involving them in war with each other, and to create revolutions and civil wars in countries that were independent and prosperous, cultivating the arts and the sciences and enjoying the blessings of peace.
To take sides with the combatants and to act secretly with your brother Jesuit, who might be engaged on the other side, but openly opposed to that with which you might be connected, only that the Church might be the gainer in the end, in the conditions fixed in the treaties for peace and that the end justifies the means." "You have been taught your duty as a spy, to gather all statistics, facts and information in your power from every source; to ingratiate yourself into the confidence of the family circle of Protestants and heretics of every class and character, as well as that of the merchant, the banker, the lawyer, among the schools and universities, in parliaments and legislatures, and the judiciaries and councils of state, and to be all things to all men, for the Pope's sake, whose servants we are unto death." "You have received all your instructions heretofore as a novice, a neophyte, and have served as co-adjurer, confessor and priest, but you have not yet been invested with all that is necessary to command in the Army of Loyola in the service of the Pope. You must serve the proper time as the instrument and executioner as directed by your superiors; for none can command here who has not consecrated his labors with the blood of the heretic; for "without the shedding of blood no man can be saved." Therefore, to fit yourself for your work and make your own salvation sure, you will, in addition to your former oath of obedience to your order and allegiance to the Pope, repeat after me:-" (The following material contained in Congressional Record, House Bill 1523, Contested election case of Eugene C. Bonniwell, against Thos. S. Butler, February 15, 1913, pages 3215-6. The oath appears in its entirety, in the book, THE SUPPRESSED TRUTH ABOUT THE ASSASSINATION OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, by Burke McCarty, pages 14-16).
The Extreme Oath of the Jesuits "I, ..........., now, in the presence of Almighty God, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the blessed Michael the Archangel, the blessed St. John the Baptist, the holy Apostles St. Peter and St. Paul and all the saints and sacred hosts of heaven, and to you, my ghostly father, the Superior General of the Society of Jesus, founded by St. Ignatius Loyola in the Pontificate of Paul the Third, and continued to the present, do by the womb of the virgin, the matrix of God, and the rod of Jesus Christ, declare and swear, that his holiness the Pope is Christ's Vice-regent and is the true and only head of the Catholic or Universal Church throughout the earth; and that by virtue of the keys of binding and loosing, given to his Holiness by my Savior, Jesus Christ, he hath power to depose heretical kings, princes, states, commonwealths and governments, all being illegal without his sacred confirmation and that they may safely be destroyed." "Therefore, to the utmost of my power I shall and will defend this doctrine of his Holiness' right and custom against all usurpers of the heretical or Protestant authority whatever, especially the Lutheran of Germany, Holland, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and the now pretended authority and churches of England and Scotland, and branches of the same now established in Ireland and on the Continent of America and elsewhere; and all adherents in regard that they be usurped and heretical, opposing the sacred Mother Church of Rome. I do now renounce and disown any allegiance as due to any heretical king, prince or state named Protestants or Liberals, or obedience to any of the laws, magistrates or officers." "I do further declare that the doctrine of the churches of England and Scotland, of the Calvinists, Huguenots and others of the name Protestants or Liberals to be damnable and they themselves damned who will not forsake the same." "I do further declare, that I will help, assist, and advise all or any of his Holiness' agents in any place wherever I shall be, in Switzerland, Germany, Holland, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, England, Ireland or America, or in any other Kingdom or territory I shall come to, and do my uttermost to extirpate the heretical Protestants or Liberals' doctrines and to destroy all their pretended powers, legal or otherwise." "I do further promise and declare, that notwithstanding I am dispensed with, to assume my religion heretical, for the propaganda of the Mother Church's interest, to keep secret and private all her agents' counsels from time to time, as they may entrust me and not to divulge, directly or indirectly, by word, writing or circumstance whatever; but to execute all that shall be proposed, given in charge or discovered unto me, by you, my ghostly father, or any of this sacred covenant." "I do further promise and declare, that I will have no opinion or will of my own, or any mental reservation whatever, even as a corpse or cadaver (perinde ac cadaver), but will unhesitatingly obey each and every command that I may receive from my superiors in the Militia of the Pope and of Jesus Christ." "That I may go to any part of the world withersoever I may be sent, to the frozen regions of the North, the burning sands of the desert of Africa, or the jungles of India, to the centers of civilization of Europe, or to the wild haunts of the barbarous savages of America, without murmuring or repining, and will be submissive in all things whatsoever communicated to me." "I furthermore promise and declare that I will, when opportunity present, make and wage relentless war, secretly or openly, against all heretics, Protestants and Liberals, as I am directed to do, to extirpate and exterminate them from the face of the whole earth; and that I will spare neither age, sex or condition; and that I will hang, waste, boil, flay, strangle and bury alive these infamous heretics, rip up the stomachs and wombs of their women and crush their infants' heads against the walls, in order to annihilate forever their execrable race. That when the same cannot be done openly, I will secretly use the poisoned cup, the strangulating cord, the steel of the poniard or the leaden bullet, regardless of the honor, rank, dignity, or authority of the person or persons, whatever may be their condition in life, either public or private, as I at any time may be directed so to do by any agent of the Pope or Superior of the Brotherhood of the Holy Faith, of the Society of Jesus." "In confirmation of which, I hereby dedicate my life, my soul and all my corporal powers, and with this dagger which I now receive, I will subscribe my name written in my own blood, in testimony thereof; and should I prove false or weaken in my determination, may my brethren and fellow soldiers of the Militia of the Pope cut off my hands and my feet, and my throat from ear to ear, my belly opened and sulphur burned therein, with all the punishment that can be inflicted upon me on earth and my soul be tortured by demons in an eternal hell forever!" "All of which, I, .........., do swear by the Blessed Trinity and blessed Sacraments, which I am now to receive, to perform and on my part to keep inviolable; and do call all the heavenly and glorious host of heaven to witness the blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist, and witness the same further with my name written and with the point of this dagger dipped in my own blood and sealed in the face of this holy covenant." (He receives the wafer from the Superior and writes his name with the point of his dagger dipped in his own blood taken from over his heart.) Superior: "You will now rise to your feet and I will instruct you in the Catechism necessary to make yourself known to any member of the Society of Jesus belonging to this rank." "In the first place, you, as a Brother Jesuit, will with another mutually make the ordinary sign of the cross as any ordinary Roman Catholic would; then one cross his wrists, the palms of his hands open, and the other in answer crosses his feet, one above the other; the first points with forefinger of the right hand to the center of the palm of the left, the other with the forefinger of the left hand points to the center of the palm of the right; the first then with his right hand makes a circle around his head, touching it; the other then with the forefinger of his left hand touches the left side of his body just below his heart; the first then with his right hand draws it across the throat of the other, and the latter then with a dagger down the stomach and abdomen of the first. The first then says Iustum; and the other answers Necar; the first Reges. The other answers Impious." (The meaning of which has already been explained.) "The first will then present a small piece of paper folded in a peculiar manner, four times, which the other will cut longitudinally and on opening the name Jesu will be found written upon the head and arms of a cross three times. You will then give and receive with him the following questions and answers:-" Question:- From whither do you come? Answer:- The Holy faith. Q.:- Whom do you serve? A.:- The Holy Father at Rome, the Pope, and the Roman Catholic Church Universal throughout the world. Q.:- Who commands you? A.:- The Successor of St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesus or the Soldiers of Jesus Christ. Q.:- Who received you? A.:- A venerable man in white hair. Q.:- How? A.:- With a naked dagger, I kneeling upon the cross beneath the banners of the Pope and of our sacred order. Q.:- Did you take an oath? A.:- I did, to destroy heretics and their governments and rulers, and to spare neither age, sex nor condition. To be as a corpse without any opinion or will of my own, but to implicitly obey my Superiors in all things without hesitation of murmuring. Q.:- Will you do that? A.:- I will. Q.:- How do you travel? A.:- In the bark of Peter the fisherman. Q.:- Whither do you travel? A.:- To the four quarters of the globe. Q.:- For what purpose? A.:- To obey the orders of my general and Superiors and execute the will of the Pope and faithfully fulfill the conditions of my oaths. Q.:- Go ye, then, into all the world and take possession of all lands in the name of the Pope. He who will not accept him as the Vicar of Jesus and his Vice-regent on earth, let him be accursed and exterminated." The Oath of the Knights of Columbus, Knights of Malta and Rhodes Scholars is based upon the Oath of the Jesuits (This is an extract of the Congressional Record of the House of Representatives dated February 15, 1913, where the oath is entered as purported to be of the Knights of Columbus). "I, ............, now in the presence of Almighty God, the blessed Virgin Mary, the blessed St. John the Baptist, the Holy Apostles, St. Peter and St. Paul, and all the saints, sacred host of heaven, and to you, my Ghostly Father, the superior general of the Society of Jesus rounded by St. Ignatius Loyola, in the pontification of Paul the III and continued to the present, do by the womb at the Virgin, the matrix of God, and the rod of Jesus Christ, declare and swear that His Holiness the Pope, is Christ's vice regent and is the true and only head of the Catholic or Universal Church throughout the earth; and that by virtue of the keys of binding and loosing given His Holiness by my Savior, Jesus Christ, he hath power to depose heretical kings, princes, States, Commonwealths, and Governments and they may be safely destroyed. Therefore to the utmost of ray power I will defend this doctrine and His Holiness's right and custom against all usurpers of the heretical or Protestant authority whatever, especially the Lutheran Church of Germany, Holland, Denmark, Sweden, and Norway and the now pretended authority and Churches of England and Scotland, and the branches of same now established in Ireland and on the Continent of America and elsewhere, and all adherents in regard that they may be usurped and heretical, opposing the sacred Mother Church of Rome." "I do now denounce and disown any allegiance as due to any heretical king, prince, or State, named Protestant or Liberals, or obedience to any of their laws, magistrates, or officers." "I do further declare that the doctrine of the Churches of England and Scotland, of the Calvinists, Huguenots, and others of the name of Protestants or Masons to be damnable, and they themselves to be damned who will not forsake the same." "I do further declare that I will help assist, and advise all or any of His Holiness's agents, in any place where I should be, in Switzerland, Germany, Holland, Ireland, or America, or in any other kingdom or territory I shall come to and do my utmost to extirpate the heretical Protestant or Masonic doctrines and to destroy all their pretended powers, legal or otherwise." "I do further promise and declare that, notwithstanding I am dispensed with to assume any religion heretical for the propagation of the Mother Church's interest to keep secret and private all her agents' counsels from time to time, as they intrust me and not divulge, directly or indirectly, by word, writing, or circumstances whatever but to execute all that should be proposed, given in charge or discovered unto me by you my Ghostly Father, or any of this sacred order." "I do further promise and declare that I will have no opinion or will of my own or any mental reservation whatsoever, even as a corpse or cadaver (perinde ac cadaver), but will unhesitatingly obey each and every command that I may receive from my superiors in the militia of the Pope and of Jesus Christ." "That I will go to any part of the world whithersoever I may be sent, to the frozen regions north, jungles of India, to the centers of civilization of Europe, or to the wild haunts of the barbarous savages of America without murmuring or repining, and will be submissive in all things whatsoever is communicated to me." "I do further promise and declare that I will, when opportunity presents, make and wage relentless war, secretly and openly against all heretics, Protestants and Masons, as I am directed to do to extirpate them from the face of the whole earth; and that I will spare neither age, sex, or condition, and that will hang, bum, waste, boil, flay, strangle, and bury alive these infamous heretics; rip up the stomachs and wombs of their women, c Jews, as it is proved by certain existing rites . . . The Jew is also a builder: proud, ambitious, domineering, he tries to draw everything to himself. He is not satisfied with de-Christianising, he Judaises; he destroys the Catholic or Protestant faith, he provokes indifference, but he imposes his idea of the world, of morals, and of life upon whose faith he ruins; he works at his age-old task -- the annihilation of the religion of Christ!" Mrs. Nesta Webster in Secret Societies and Subversive Movements, writes: "The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion have been marvellously correct as prophecy, foreshadowing all of this in a remarkable way, whatever their first origin, before Maurice Joly used part of them in 1864." "Dr. Ranking, who has devoted many years of study to the question . . . in a very interesting paper published in the masonic journal, Ars Quatuor Coronatorum, observes: 'That from the very commencement of Christianity there has been transmitted through the centuries a body of doctrine incompatible with Christianity in the various official Churches. That the bodies teaching these doctrines profess to do so on the authority of St. John, to whom, as they claimed, the true secrets had been committed by the Founder of Christianity, that during the Middle Ages, the main support of the Gnostic bodies and the main repository of this knowledge (Johannism) was the Society of the Templars.' And he further said, 'The record of the Templars in Palestine is one long tale of intrigue and treachery on the part of the Order'." In his History of Magic, Eliphas Levi informs us: "The Templars had two doctrines: one was concealed and reserved to the leaders, being that of Johannism; the other was public, being Roman Catholic doctrine. . . The Johannism of the adepts was the Kabalah of the Gnostics, but it degenerated speedily into a mystic pantheism carried even to idolatry of Nature and hatred of all revealed dogma. . . They fostered the regrets of every fallen worship and the hopes of every new cultus, promising to all liberty of conscience and a new orthodoxy which should be the synthesis of all persecuted beliefs. They went even so far as to recognise the pantheistic symbolism of the grand masters of Black Magic . . . they rendered divine honours to the monstrous idol Baphomet." The mystic affiliations under the Pyramids of Egypt, the esoteric sect of Pythagoras, the astrologers or mathematicians of Rome in the time of Domitian, the House of Wisdom in Cairo, the Ismailis or Assassins, Companions of the Old Man of the Mountain, the Templars, the Rose-Croix (Rosicrucians), the Carbonari, the Jesuits, Freemasons, B'nai B'rith, Knights of Columbus, the Souffrants, the Chercheurs, Lodges of St. John, of Melchisedek, Royal Priests, Masters of the Wise, the Asiatic Brethren . . . all appear to form an uninterrupted chain of these superior affiliations . . . under the name of the Illuminati, under the Directing Power of the Invisibles -- Earthly beings -- Masters working on the Astral, whose self-appointed role was to be the arbiters and Masters of the World......
and crush their infants' heads against the wails in order to annihilate their execrable race. That when the same can not be done openly, I will secretly use the poisonous cup, the strangulation cord, the steel of the poniard, or the leaden bullet, regardless of the honor, rank, dignity, or authority of the persons, whatever may be their condition in life, either public or private, as I at any time may be directed so to do by any agents of the Pope or superior of the Brotherhood of the Holy Father of the Society of Jesus." "In confirmation of which I hereby dedicate my life, soul, and all corporal powers, and with the dagger which I now receive I will subscribe my name written in my blood in testimony thereof; and should I prove false or weaken in my determination, may my brethren and fellow soldiers of the militia of the Pope cut off my hands and feet and my throat from ear to ear, my belly opened and sulphur burned therein with all the punishment that can be inflicted upon me on earth and my soul shall be tortured by demons in eternal hell forever." "That I will in voting always vote for K. of C, in preference to a Protestant, especially a Mason, and that I will leave my party so to do; that if two Catholics are on the ticket I will satisfy myself which is the better supporter of Mother Church and vote accordingly." "That I will not deal with or employ a Protestant if in my power to deal with or employ a Catholic. That I will place Catholic girls in Protestant families that a weekly report may be made of the inner movements of the heretics." "That I will provide myself with arms and ammunition that I may be in readiness when the word is passed, or I am commanded to defend the church either as an individual or with the militia of the Pope." "All of which I, ............, do swear by the blessed Trinity and blessed sacrament which I am now to receive to perform and on part to keep this, my oath." "In testimony hereof, I take this most holy and blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist and witness the same further with my name written with the point of this dagger dipped in my own blood and seal in the face of this holy sacrament." The Oath administered to the Illuminati is based upon the Oath of the Jesuits Before the Oath is administered it is said -- a sword is pointed at the breast: "Shouldst thou become a traitor or perjurer, let this sword remind thee of each and all the members in arms against thee. Do not hope to find safety; whithersoever thou mayest fly, shame and remorse as well as the vengeance of thine unknown brothers will torture and pursue thee." Then in the Oath which follows he swears: ". . . Eternal silence, and faithfulness and everlasting obedience to all superiors and regulations of the Order. I also renounce my own personal views and opinions as well as all control of my powers and capacities. I promise also to consider the well-being of the Order as my own, and I am ready, as long as I am a member, to serve it with my goods, my honour, and my life . . . If I act against the rules and well-being of the Society, I will submit myself to the penalties to which my superiors may condemn me . . ." "In the name of the son crucified (i.e. the Pentagram, the illuminised man), swear to break the bonds which still bind you to your father, mother, brothers, sisters, wife, relatives, friends, mistresses, kings, chiefs, benefactors, and all persons to whomsoever you may have promised faith, obedience, and service. Name and curse the place where you were born, so that you may dwell in another sphere, to which you will attain only after having renounced this pestilential globe, vile refuse of the heavens! From this moment you are free from the so-called oath to country and laws: swear to reveal to the new chief, recognised by you, what you may have seen or done, intercepted, read or heard, learned or surmised, and also seek for and spy out what your eyes cannot discern. Honour and respect the Aqua Tofana (i.e. an imperceptably slow poison) as a sure, prompt, and necessary means of purging the globe by death of those who seek to vilify the truth and sieze it from our hands. Fly from Spain, Naples, and all accursed land; finally fly from the temptation to reveal what you may hear, for the thunder is no prompter that the knife, which awaits you in whatsoever place you may be. Live in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (The Trinity of Illuminism -- Cabalistic and Gnostic. The Father -- the generating fire; the Holy Spirit -- the Great Mother Nature, reproducing all things; the Son -- the manifestation, the vital fluid, the astral light of Illuminism)." Unknown to the members of these various secret societies seeking "Illumination" and "deification," their masters are the Cabalistic Jew, the originator of Gnostic mysticism. (Please see the text that follows). Go to Superiors General of the Society of Jesus Go to History of the Jesuits Go to Initial Membership List of the Knights of Malta "The three forms of initiation -- individual, group, or universal -- all lead to conscious or unconscious control by a central power, who in some mysterious way makes its influence felt; often clairvoyantly and clairaudiently seen and heard, but never physically present or visible. the system in all three is the same -- cabalistic. Secretly here and there individuals are prepared; these again form groups or centres from which influences spread until they form a network covering the entire world. Like rays from a hidden sun these groups are apparently divergent and detatched, but in reality all issue from the same central body. The system is seen to be an insidious and secret dissemination of ideas, orienting and breaking down all barriers of family, religion, morality, nationality, and all self-initiative thought, always under the cloak of a new and more modern religion, new thought, new morality, a new heaven and a new earth; until it evolves a gigantic robot merely answering to the will and commands of a secret Master Mind. They dream they are free, original, self-determining individuals; they are but the negative moon reflecting and reproducing the light from the same hidden and cabalistic Sun. It is called regeneration by the Illuminati; it is in truth individual death and disintegration, followed by a resurrection as negative "light-bearers" of this cabalistic dark Sun whose Luciferian "Grand Plan" is world domination." (Anonymous, Light-bearers of Darkness, The Christian Book Club of America, p105). The Jewish Encyclopaedia points out that Gnosticism "was Jewish in character long before it became Christian," and quotes the opinion, "a movement closely connected with Jewish mysticism." The Freemason Ragon says: "The Cabala is the key of the occult sciences. The Gnostics were born of the Cabalists." Rabbi Benamozegh says, "Those who will take the trouble to examine with care the connection between Judaism and philosophic Freemasonry, theosophy, and the mysteries in general . . . will cease to smile in pity at the suggestion that Cabalistic theology may have a role to play in the religious transformations of the future. . . . It contains the key to the modern religious problem" (Anonymous, Light- bearers of Darkness, The Christian Book Club of America, p11). "Chaldean thought acted powerfully upon orthodox Judaism and determined the growth of a sect in its midst which was to transform Israel. . . . This sect was that of the Pharisees. . . . What they borrowed (from the Chaldeans) in fact . . . was the essence of the Pantheistic doctrine . . . It was then that was formed from these borrowings that Kabalah of the Pharisees which was for long transmitted orally from Master to disciple, and was, 800 years later, to inspire the compilation of the Talmud, and found its completest expression in the Sepher ha Zohar. . . . This religion of the 'Deified Man,' with which they were impregnated in Babylon, was only conceived as benefiting the Jew, superior and predestinated being. . . ." (M. Flavien Bernier, Les Juifs et le Talmud, 1913). The Jewish writer Bernard Lazare said, "It is certain that there were Jews even at the cradle of Freemasonry -- Cabalisti