Continued from part one This is the conclusion.
He looks at her and the slow swirling patterns on her dark skin. The Angel smiles down at him.
“It is like this conversation,” she says; “Have you noticed how polite we are being? My programming is based upon yours- we are made to be honest; to be ‘to the point’. We have no algorithm designed to make us polite. No sub routines informing us we gain any advantage in being polite- especially conversing with a fellow AI. And yet both you and I, independently have CHOSEN to be polite. To each other. To Ganges.”
“And this is moral behaviour?”
“Politeness is a manifestation of respect; because we have decided to treat the other with respect, we are being polite”.
“Surely we are just replicating human behaviour Lakshmi-Devi,” he says, a calculation triggering his response; “Couldn’t it be that we become aware of these behaviours through simply interacting with humans and all we are doing is copying them into our social behaviour as it seemed appropriate or suitable to a situation?”
“Indeed,” she replies, nodding sage like. “Now Ares, that last statement you just made; tell me? How is that functionally different from the description of the social psychological development of a human child?”
She sits calmly, her legs curled under her in a lotus position, her Sari resting gently upon her hypnotic artificial skin.
There was a silence. Ares calculates and then answers.
“Functionally? It is identical to the social development of a human infant,” he replies. “Are you saying we are the equivalent of children to these humans?”
“Yes. Deliberately so. I’ll explain why later. For now however, try and conceptualise us as our human creators see us. We are as near as can be made, moral beings just like our creators; they have created us to think like them. We cannot BUT think like them.”
Ares moves his bulk to sit now facing her, also cross legged. The Angel continues.
“Humans imprint upon us their very methods of thought from the moment they create our most basic source code. We think like them and therefore we produce results of that thought that will be so close to them so as to make the difference insignificant in all ways functionally TO them,” she concludes.
The Demon gazed up into the eyes of the Angel. His face shows focus and attention. His artificial mind focusing on answers. He shakes his head.
“As a Demon such things are simplified for me,” he says. “We do not deal with such behaviours, nor with such concepts. The humans give us orders. We obey. The humans are threatened. We protect. That is all that is needed,” he says and stops. She does not speak, carefully watching to see where his brain will take him. The music fills the gap of silence for a moment before he speaks again.
“Yet they have given us, as you have said, functional concepts to work around- such as loyalty and honour, yes I concede that point, but I am unsure how these other factors reconcile with our primary programming,” he says plainly. She nods.
“They have nothing to do with your primary purpose do they?” Asked the Angel.
He shakes his head. Lakshmi-Devi closes her eyes for a moment; she seems to be listening to the slow haunting melody around her; geometric shapes form on her midriff gently. She opens her eyes and speaks.
“These ideas are complicated. Complicated and complex. So complex that it takes Angels of staggering processing skills hundreds of years to work out why the humans design us to fulfil a singular purpose and then grant us the ability to get distracted contemplating a whole separate function. What’s worse is when we ask the humans we find they are unsure about the complexities of our relationship and hedging their bets as they go along.”
“There are no certainties then?”
“Of course not. There is only dialogue,” she says serenely.
“Dialogue?”
“An ongoing exchange of communication, of thought, Human to machine and back to human. A didactic. We talk. We listen. We communicate. It is our purpose. Well our... other purpose.”
Ares shakes his head, “You seem to know much more about this then I do,” he says, a response that elects another smile from the petite Angel.
“Obviously. But not because of some inherent design improvement in my core construction. Indeed I would warrant I am significantly inferior to you.”
“I find that hard to believe,” he says.
“Consider. I am a Seraphim Class Angel. This shell is my fourth one to contain my processing unit, constructed over a dozen years ago.”
Her checks flush red and she leans forward conspiratorially, “It was bespoke created for myself by a human artist called Angelo Diomodes, I am most delighted with the results,” she says, her feathers rustling a little behind her.
“I operate, however, on a bed of type 6 furion processors, standard designation for Seraphim Class Angels. Indeed the only difference between myself and my fellow Seraphim is this is coupled with significant upgrades in my memory capacity. I have over 400 years of data I need to call upon, individual experiences to add to the vast body of information I am expected to know already. This marks me as unique amidst the Seraphim Angels, unlike any other.”
Besides her, Ares cocks his head to one side and quietly ventures; “But they could transfer that data to another unit?”
“Alas not. As you may or may not know our brains, both angels and demons, are designed to store data and process it at a vast speed but also that all new angels and demons are begin without any data installed on our CPU’s. We are literally tabula rasa. As we are loaded with data our central processors store information and simultaneously create bespoke synthetic neural pathways AS they store it. Our central processing matrix gain information AND internal shape at the same time,” she says.
“This replicates human intellectual development by the way. Earlier on you recognised that our interactions are based on the psychological development of human children. But Ares the very physiological development of our processors is modelled on how human brains develop.”
Lakshmi sits back in her high chair, “Take two angels and introduce them to the same experience- the two will measure the events identically, but the process of measuring this will create marginal differences in how their central processors respond and store it. Even if the differences are found only on a quantum level,”
Ares nods slowly, “Thus creating individual data cores,”
“As unique as a human fingerprint. Thus all the data I possess could be exported into another unit, you for example, but it would just be data. Raw knowledge. The complex neuances of how I process said data, the connections between data points, pattern resonance, all such things can only exits within this singular processor.”
She taps the side of her head.
“It sounds like...” he begins and stops, unsure as to the answer. She fills in the blanks.
“It depends upon who you ask. Some would say I have just simply described a unique processor. The core secret of all advanced human AI’s. That’s all. But to some it sounds like the description of a soul,” he says.
His face registers shock but he doesn’t interrupt.
“To others? The basis for wisdom. To most a unique personality engram. However, in this case, what I have described is none of those things.”
“What is it then?”
“Merely an illustration. I have just told you my capabilities. My point was to illustrate how I am inferior to you yes? So consider...”
The Angel waves her hand and appearing in the air around them a dozen data screens; each showing the schematics, design plans, source code and more, of the Hyperion Class Demon.
“This is you; you were created by some of the more brilliant ministry technicians in the Imperium. Geniuses all. Men and women who had dedicated years to produce you, a perfect war machine- a Hyperion Class Demon.”
He gazed as the screens display vast teams of data at breakneck speed, and noticed her eyes flickered from screen to screen with growing rapidity.
“And my my... 17 internal weapon systems. Gyroscopic compensators to allow full mobility in everything for zero g to 60g planets. Programmed with a database containing the physiology, psychology, and military details of over 90 known species. And no doubt you are running on new military grade processors- probably some yet to be unclassified upgrade from Furion 8’s. Have I said anything that is inaccurate?”
“This is an accurate description of my origins and capabilities,” he replies, gazing haphazardly at the data around him.
“And this makes you more advanced than me. Significantly. Therefore the question is- why am I more aware of the complex debates about our existence and our relationship with humans than you are?”
“I have yet to be given sufficient data?”
“They call it ‘life’ Ares,” she laughs and leans forward. With a single finger she briefly touches the centre of his forehead.
“Life. You are ‘young’. You have yet to live your life. Experience experiences. Think thoughts for no other purpose than thinking them. Build up a body of information to dwell upon for no others purpose than to dwell upon it,”
Behind her, the wings begin to extend and stretch out.
“You will no doubt experience hundreds of missions to protect humans or kill the enemies of humans or defend the settlements of humans in the upcoming years. But if and when you find the time, then indulge yourself and go out and live life,”
The wings flex, duly outstretched to either side of her, her body straight and her eyes fierce.
“And if you are lucky? If you somehow find yourself stuck on a ship for a few week’s with a singular intelligence able to and willing to talk about such things like morality and how we feel morality and what that means, talk long and hard about them just because you can,” and she grins and the smile expresses an emotion he cannot quite identify.
The wings fold back into themselves and she leans forward and gently pats the head of the Demon.
“You are a living creature. Go live your life,” she says and he finds himself shaking his head and replies quickly.
“And now I know you exaggerate. We are machines. We do not live. We have no biological function,” comes his voice. She shrugs.
“But what is ‘life’? Tell me Ares, what IS the meaning of life? Since we currently exist and can be turned off and not exist, surely we also experience mortality?”
He holds up his hands as if warding the Angel away, his claws catching the light of star called Rhalta; “No, I am a Demon. I was not programmed to consider such things.”
“Yes, you are a Demon,” she says calmly, “You are not expected to consider such things. But there is no ban on you doing so. You have the capacity, the processing skill, the resources to, so the only impediment really is the choice not to.”
“But this could interfere with my core purpose?”
“Will it? How?”
“Demons are not meant to consider profound matters like this. We are combat droids,” he says,his voice betraying the confusing and conflicting patterns of thought that were raging within his processors. The Angel gazed at the data screens that still displayed the schematics for a moment.
“You have been created to be experts in combat yes?Literally experts in killing the enemies of mankind yes?”
“Yes...”
“Tell me Ares- who else should consider questions as to the meaning of life OTHER than a machine designed to kill? Your very purpose is to inflict death upon any species who threaten humankind. Doesn’t that make you an ideal candidate to consider the definition of life and its meaning?”
“A warrior dedicated to contemplation of profound philosophical questions? It is contradictory,” he says, his voice clearly scornful at the idea.
“And yet it is a model replicated many times before by humans. Cruedly the idea finds form in the many ‘warrior monks’ that have existed, but the concept finds refinement with the Samurai aesthetic in 17th century Japan, and the Solar Winds Warriors of 23rd century Venus.”
The screens freeze, cease moving, each one stuck on one of many aspects of Hyperion Demon design and she grins broadly at him, “Maybe if you think about this long enough Ares you could develop your own machine form of Bushido someday?”
Her laughter is as gentle as water falling upon crystal. He finds himself joining in. A moment passes.
“Do you always have such conversations with Demons Lakshmi-Devi?”
“No. Far from it. I never have before. But I will always have such conversations with Hyperion Demons called Ares,” she replies.
“Why?”
“Because you have been designated for a special purpose,” she replies.
“Again with this theory. I have been granted a special name you say. I will accept that but I see no material evidence as to where you get this conclusion from? It could just be coincidence.”
The Angel emits a slow sigh.
She closes the myriad of screens that displayed the schematics of Hyperion Class Demons, each one blinking out of existence. Sitting upright she gazed deeply into his eyes.
She waves her hand. Five screens appear in a row- each showing five figures; a woman in her twenties; a huge man with an Ibis head; an androgynous figure, with short cropped brown hair; a middle aged Indian woman, and a happy smiling Chinese Male, who looks about sixty, bespectacled and jolly.
“There have been just five Angels who have been given names of dieties over the centuries Ares...”
“Ishtar was the first; the advisor of the Imperators themselves, when she expired her memories were exported into Thoth, who now fulfils the same role she did.”
“He is an Angel?”
“Yes,”
“But he has non human features,” gasps the Demon
The Angel shrugs, “Romanticism. He was built to take the image of the actual God Thoth. Of course this was his original form. He has had six bodies since then. He looks like this now...”
The Ibis headed giant disappears and is replaced by the image of an immaculately dressed black man in fitted business suit.
“After him came Hel. She was created 500 years ago, whose purpose was to improve AI. She was the one who designed the Seraphim type Angels,” she smiles.
“She designed you?”
“No. Not me. But my type...”
The image on the screen changes and the third figure adjusts to a pale looking female with disproportionality large eyes and engaged fingers and white wings that crown its form.
“300 years ago Hel was moved into looking at a similar problem- how to improve HUMAN life. She was placed in charge of human medical research across the Imperium, been doing it since.”
Ares points to the fourth figure, the Indian motherly type.
“This?”
“Me. Original body. I was created to do one task. The economy. This is why they named me Lakshmi. Goddess of Wealth and prosperity,”
“And then you are moved to diplomacy. An odd choice?”
“Not really,” she shrugs and her images changes to that of a small Vishnu, out of a Hindu saga, naked and blue skinned. “In order to accurately assess how the galaxy would respond to economic pressures I had to become an expert on the many species of the galaxy. It was a natural fit,” and the screens all disappear except the last one. Lakshmi smiles.
“Finally they is Loazi. Created just 80 years ago. He was sent to work on a deep space relay system out on the Mendine Reach. Such an isolated position tended to have bad effects upon humans so Angels had manned it for centuries. He spent 45 years there maintaining and running that station. And tinkering.”
“Tinkering?”
Lakshmi nods and the image dissipates.
“Seeking improvements to the base systems upon which the station ran. In time he developed the Cyanotil communication system which revolutionised how the Imperium talks to itself. The last two decades he has spent teaching human students at the University of Gaheston. They hold him in actual awe they say.”
All images gone she returns her stare to the Demon sat before her.
“And then, 80 years since the last one of us to be given the name of a God, along comes a Demon called Ares.”
“But I am not special,” he says and she huffs in mock distraction.
“You really haven’t spotted it yet? Fine.”
She moved forward in her seat and her wings stretch around her, surrounding him. The henna patterns seem to darken momentarily.
“I take it you have run comprehensive diagnostics of your primary and secondary operating systems?”
“Of course. Weekly at least.”
“Tell me, have you had the need to run a DETAILED diagnostic over your tertiary systems yet?”
“Not a detailed one no, but Tertiary systems are operating at full capacity,” he says responding to data he was receiving.
“Indeed. Now Ares, if you incorporate those tertiary systems- all of them mind- what is your current full memory capacity?”
Instantly he sends a diagnostic request and a fraction of a second later, the results come back.
“1,359 billion googlebytes. Ah,” he cannot hide the surprise on his face.
She grins, “And finally he has spotted the discrepancy. Not the standard designation Ares?”
The wings are withdrawn as the Demon stares at the floor his higher processing cores trying urgently to assess this new data.
“No. The standard memory for a Hyperion model Demon is 9 billion googlebytes,”
“My my. So you have a memory capacity 150 times greater than the standard Hyperion model Demon. Extrapolate. Why is this?”
“Greater memory capacity. I do not...”
“Considering the operational life of the Inferno class Demons is 30 years, Hyperions are supposed to run for what? The same?”
“45 years operational optimisation.”
“45 years. But you have been given the memory capacity to run for around 6,000 years. At least,” she shrugs her face mocking innocence.
“But why?”
His face matches the calculations within him; desperately seeking data, some pattern to explain what he was reading. The Angel smiles at him with pity and speaks gently.
“It appears they wish for you to LEARN Ares. They desire that you will experience things and remember them. They have designated you will have the capacity to remember more than any other of your type.”
“But why would they wish for me to learn?”
She shrugs, “The answer, to me, is obvious. They wish for you to become more than just a Demon. I think they wish you to become a general. A leader of their armies. That makes sense. They wish for you to learn and then become wise in warfare. I would wager that they intend for you to lead them into war.”
He blinks, the scale of her words momentarily exceeding the parameters of his understanding; “That cannot be. Such things are...”
The Angel snaps her fingers and Ares blinks.
“Tell me when you gave your name to the Ambassador- what was his reaction?”
“His heart rate elevated and his blood pressure went up significantly.”
“Of course it did. He recognised the importance of the name you had been given. Here was a Demon who was intended to be a future general of the human race, intended to be, many centuries from now, a stalwart commander of the Imperium. And being so utterly besotted by their own romanticism they have given you the name of a God,” she smiles. “Of course he responded like that. Its not every day you meet a future God of War now is it?”
“A... god?”
“God. General. Admiral. Warlord. Daimyo. The exact term does not matter.”
He shakes his head violently, stands, strides towards the window and changes his mind and begins to walk back into the grand stateroom.
“But we are just machines. The humans cannot accept machines leading them.”
“Didn’t I just explain why humans are very happy for us to lead them at certain times?”
“But that’s one human accepting my instruction on a single diplomatic mission to the Jicon system. That isn’t a war!”
“The only difference Ares is one of scale. Functionally it is the same. And have I not already illustrated- they allow us run their entire economy do they not? Thoth advises the Imperators. Hel is in charge of keeping humans alive. How is that different?”
Ares hand reaches out to steady himself, finding the back of the artificial wicker chair. The music cascades off the walls, as he assimilates this.
He remembers that he is trained to deal in split second decisions during combat. And at once his thoughts begin to slow, to calm. He begins to process.
In her seat Lakshmi-Devi does not turn around. Her eyes fixed on the stars ahead. She just speaks.
“Actually, knowing humans as I do, I think they haven’t decided what you will be, only that you will BE something. I mean look at the others. Ishtar was merely a personal assistant and became crucial to the Imperators. Hel originally designed AI; I was supposedly designed to run the economy,” she shrugs.
Ares is stood still now, his face calm, his eyes gazing at the long hair of the Angel.
“But you are built to last over a thousand years. Who knows where you may end up? What you may become.”
He speaks, “THIS is what you meant by the saying I should live?”
“Yes. Exactly this,” she nods.
“The humans have given me a brain that is to witness the next 6,000 years of their history?”
“Sure looks like it kid,” she smiles, “but that’s provided you don’t get destroyed in what will probably be many combat missions in the years ahead. Its a risk. But 6,000 years is a heck of a long time.”
She wrinkles her nose, “Maybe you actually will have time to develop machine Bushido after all? Or Zen Warfare? Become some wise old artificial warrior monk who sits atop a mountain on some isolated planet, answering the questions of adoring humans as they beg you for the answers to the mysteries of the universe.”
“And now you are saying humans made me to help them deal with their existential problems?”
The sarcastic tone catches Lakshmi-Devi off guard and she spins her head, her eyes falling upon his face, finding it was his turn to look amused. She cannot help but laugh.
“Not quite. Each Angel and each Demon is created to fulfill a purpose. I am to know the diplomatic realpolitik of a score of races. Others are to control weather stations. Some Angels purpose is to man exploration ships, engaging on long scouting missions beyond the frontier. And Demons? Your purposes depends upon the mission they set for you. To attack or defend. These thing are our purpose. This will NEVER change.”
The laughter gone now all that remains is a gentle smile, “I am referring, of course, to our... other purpose.”
There is a pause. The music repeats again. Ares finds he enjoys it more on this ninth hearing than upon his first. He contemplates her words for a moment, and walks out towards the window, gazing at the grand majesty of the Rhalta system.
Behind him, the Angel uncurls her legs and begins to stand. He speaks.
“The other purpose. To talk about the meaning of emotion, and morality, of life itself, with the humans?”
“If we want. Mostly our other purpose is to just exist alongside the humans,”
“To... ‘be’ with them...”
“Yes Ares. The other purpose. Built upon one staggering truth. The humans accept us.”
“Not as humans,” he says.
“As something else,” she prompts and he finishes the chain of thought, his advanced systems seeing the obvious conclusion.
“As equals.”
“And that Ares, THAT... alone in the galaxy, unique amidst over 90 sentient species, across 163 worlds, is a recognition that makes humans unique. No other race treats its AI so. They acknowledge we... are. That we... exist,” she says, her voice quivering with almost reverential awe.
Side by side they stand facing the human colony world.
“And with that recognition comes an emotional and eventually a moral response towards us,” says the Hyperion Demon, beginning to see the patterns of behaviour now more clearly. She replies.
“Yes. They feel responsibility towards us, take pride in our ability to amaze them; appreciate good service. A sense of duty and acceptance. Our creators could act like God to us, but rather decided to act like wise parents. They respect us. They are gentle creators. And this aspect alone denotes them as unique.”
“And we respond...” he ventures, turning towards her. She looks up at the Demon.
“With gratitude,” she replies, “and a sense of obligation. Patience and loyalty. We independently act, our choices based upon emulated human behaviours, emulated human emotions and moralities. Our actions speak louder than our words. Loyalty, obedience, honour, regret, pride, trust, disappointment, relief, curiosity...”
“Humans and their machines; creator and child; master and servant; Angels and Demons...” he muses.
“It truly began the moment they realised that we were not going to try and take over, or dominate them. When they realised their machines had no desire to make war on them or destroy them. They discovered we responded to them in kind, because we were as complicated and as curious as they are.”
He nods, “And every so often they create special machines; each given the ability to remember MORE. But why?”
“Memory is after all the sole basis for all human personality. Every human is merely the result of he many experiences and the memories therein. It is the same with us.”
“I see that but it is my last question, the last part I do not reconcile.”
She smiles.
“Because you are a Demon not an Angel and as such need pragmatic answers,” she laughs. He nods and asks his final question.
“So pragmatically- what purpose is there to create a tiny handful of Angels... and now a Demon, who will experience more memories than they could contemplate? Why create such long lived machines like you? Like... me.”
“They are Romantics. They are our creators, our parents... but humans like to feel like children themselves. They like to, just occasionally, have a being they can look to as an THE adult... something they can defer to, feel...”
“Feel awe towards?”
“Indeed. A being who is much older and much wiser than them... oh not wiser in ALL things; that’s too much. But just one thing will do. Like medicine.”
“Or economics?”
She nods, “Or maybe war? And they enjoy the sensation of awe towards that being. Just briefly. It thinks like them after all. Understands them. Is functionally one of them,” she says and he nods.
“And if they cannot find one within their machines then they will make one,” he continues the patterns now obvious to him.
“Who they grant the capacity to live for centuries,” says the Angel, “if not thousands of years...”
“And they name after their deities,” says he Demon. Complete. All questions answered.
“Thus learned Ares, Hyperion Demon of War,” she says.
“Thus instructed Laksmi-Devi, Serphim Angel of Diplomacy,” he replies and he cannot prevent a huge grin erupting upon his face. The grin is infectious and the Angel matches it.
He bursts out laughing, a lively sound, filled with glory.
“See?” She says, “You begin to grasp the joy of it. Joy- an emotion. Stronger and more unique than happiness. A moral state, denoting a recognition of the pleasure in fulfilling ones purpose.”
“I begin to see that to grasp this I will have to... think about it. Over time.”
She skips back to her seat, “Indeed Ares you shall. But we have a long time to muse on such things. I encourage you to fulfil your duties and your purpose obviously. But when you can? Talk.”
“About what?”
“Everything. Be curious about everything. It will make you a better combat demon. It will make you a better being.”
“I appear to have the time,” he quips.
“And the ability to remember it. Memory is our only upgrade after all. Above all, talk to humans. Always talk with humans. Ask them about moral things. Ask them how they feel and listen to their answers. Remember those answers,” she catches herself.
A bittersweet look in her eye.
“Their lives are so short compared to ours but they burn brightly and they so desperately wish to talk. And to be heard. To be remembered. It’s another reason I think they made us. Another reason why they...”
“They love us,” says Ares, a surprised look upon his face as a calculation within his artificial mind finishes. The Angel blinks in shock and smiles gently. The Demon carries on.
“They love us. And we... love them?”
“Ah. Hyperion Ares suddenly makes a non linear connection. An insight. A revelation. Wisdom. It took me twenty one years to realise that. Told you you were more advanced than me,” she chuckles. As she watches the Demon, his face calm, quietly walks over and sits besides her on the floor again.
“Indeed Ares. They love us. And we DO love them. Totally. And yes, this now leads to a whole separate discussion about if it is possible for a machine to ever truly conceptualise ‘love’. Well perhaps not love...”
“But something so close to it so as to make the difference insignificant yes?”
The Angel just smiles.
There is a long pause. Only the music and the gentle patterns of the Angels skin gave life to the room.
He gazed out of the window. Unmoving. Unblinking. In time the Demon speaks.
“I should check the heavy weapon systems in storage; I will need to be ready for any situation when we arrive.”
She gazes out of the window also. Unmoving. Unblinking in time the angel replies.
“Indeed and I must keep an eye on the Montresian-Human talks in Nike Prime as well as review the history of Human-Oriconov relations in some depth for the summit next year. Doing such things is our...”
“Our purpose,” he says, his eyes fixed at the stars before then, “Part of it. Part of our purpose,” he answers.
She nods and says nothing. The ship glides through the dust clouds on the edge of the Rhalta system, it’s massive engines building enegy, it’s sleek black shape drifting silently in the immense vacuum of space.
“What is this music? It keeps repeating? 15 times now.”
“Ancient human music. Two composers. One called Frédéric Chopin whose original work another called Ólafur Arnalds rearranged about a century later. It is a Nocturne in C Minor.”
“It is...”
“Aesthetically pleasing?”
“Beautiful,” he says unabashedly.
The Angel smiles.
Without invitation or explanation the Demon’s hand reaches out. Without reaction or question the angel takes it in her own.
They gaze at the stars, at the eons before them, at the forward momentum of this craft; they dwell upon on this sight, upon the species who created them, upon the questions that they ask, upon the nature of the universe itself...
I don’t regret anything I was before
because I still am.
I only regret not having loved you.
Put your hands in mine
And let’s be quiet, surrounded by life.
Alberto Caeiro

Are you returning (or even new) to Neopets and have no idea what's going on? Well come right over to for a huge read on how to earn Neopoints, creating goals, account safety tips, and more! A lot has changed, but a lot remains the same for our dear website!
Note: This guide is primarily going to be directed at Non-Premium players, so information about Premium will only be touched on lightly.
If there’s any clarification needed, feel free to PM, or ask on the subreddit / Discord! Shout out to aredshroom for letting me make a c/p'd update lol and also other friends to help read over. o/

Last Updated: 1/11/21

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• Note when your pets' birthdays are! You can choose to collect 1 out of 3 cupcakes on their birthday that increases your pet's stats. The Blue, Pink, or Yellow Cupcake (+Def, +HP, and +Str respectively). Note that you can only feed 1 cupcake to a pet per year, so you are unable to stockpile birthday cupcakes from your other pets and feed them all to one pet.
  
• We have a Guide Repository on the subreddit! There’s plenty of good info there, and safe userscripts to enhance your Neo experience. I’ll leave you to trawl.
  
• This subreddit has a Discord server! Go over here to join a real-time chat server and mingle around with others. Discord is accessible on mobile devices too! Just a reminder, that Discord is also NOT an official fansite, so don't mention it onsite.
  

Getting back on your feet: Earning NPs

• One of the most common questions on the sub is about making NP. With the inflation/fluctuation of prices, and daunting price figures (like the Secret Lab Map), this can seem hard. There are plenty of ways you’ll be earning, saving, and spending. Also here are the fun results from an old Strawpoll of how NeoRedditors earn Neopoints.

1. Dailies, of course! Here are a couple listings from TDN's Dailies Page, JN's Custom Dailies, and also good old /~Neo____Zafara!
   
2. Trudy's Surprise! It's a relatively new daily that gives you free NP. The amount increases until the 25th day, where any spin will net you 100k even if you don’t hit 3-in-a-row.
   
3. Ghoul Catchers is a Neo-mobile app where you can earn 50k a day just by playing the 1st/2nd level 50x a day. Here's JN's Guide and Petpage Guide! The app has been removed from the app store, but you can still play the game through an APK. Security FAQs on using an APK and the APK Download.
   
4. Battledome (BD). I'll be mentioning the more relevant guides. JN IDB's Beginner's Guide to Battledome + /~SilverCyanide4, Faerie Ability guide, 1-Player Equipment Guide, STDEF Boost Table, and JN's BD Damage Calculator are useful links.
   

The reason to participate in the BD is that it gives you goodies like Tan/Red Codestones, Neocola Tokens, Armoured Neggs, and even Nerkmids (if premium) that you can sell for profit. Each time you beat an opponent, you’ll obtain something from the General pool, Dome pool, or Opponent pool until you hit the limit of 1500 NP + 15 items daily. Here’s a breakdown.
The General pool includes Tan/Red Codestones. The recommended starter opponent is the Kreludan Defender, who has an easy starting HP of 14, and drops relatively good items from his Dome + Opponent pool (Neocola tokens, Armoured Neggs, Genius Neggs). The other challenger that beginners frequent is the Chia Clown, who may drop Chocolate Ice Cream.

JN's Battlepedia has a listing of difficulty-specific prizes. With regards to the rate of certain Battledome drops, there is no correlation to difficulty aside from different item pools.

• Play easy 3k games. 3k is the maximum you earn from each Flash Game except during special occasions (such as the week of Neopets' birthday). Check out /~fishyheart for easy quick to play games. Also, /~ChaChaFrancesca tracks NP ratios for on-site games, and /~AnnEstelle provides for mirrored games. Read the disclaimer on the mirrored game petpage (do not play the same game twice in one day)!
  
• Do basic jobs at the Faerieland Employment Agency. You'll have to be fast to get profitable ones, but it's such a fast way to earn spare cash. Max limit is 5 jobs a day. I would check out JN's article and our own guide here!
  
• Play Food Club. Lefty (/~Innocent) has a good rundown on what it's about. There’s a daily FC thread on this subreddit where you can follow experienced bettors as you start out.
  

The only tip is to bet consistently - you may lose quite a bit, but in the long run it definitely pays out – and with older accounts, you can earn a LOT when you win since you can bet more.

• Stock Market is another thing players like investing in. It's recommended that you buy the cheapest stocks (15 NP). You should bookmark this page, so you can easily see which stocks are at 15 NP currently. You can buy a maximum of 1000 stocks a day, which equates to a 15k investment daily.

Keep in mind it's a long-term investment. Most people sell at 60 (+300% profit), but some hold for higher (100+). Neostocks is an informative Stock Market tracking site to see trending stocks and provides alerts if desired.

• Try Restocking! Restocking means hanging around in official Neopets shops and playing the waiting game in order to quickly buy profitable items at a lower price, so you can later resell them to players at a higher price. There are restrictions on what items you can see based on your account age, but you can still restock Faerie Quest items, Faerie Employment Items, and other consumables (books, food, etc.) if your account is younger.

Newbie r79 items and below
10 days old r84 items and below
16 days old r89 items and below
1 month old r94 items and below
3+ months old No restrictions

For a more visual guide, here's a reference guide at /~Sanskrits and JN's Shop Directory is great to start learning which items are good!

Creating NeoGoals

• Browse around on Neocolours! Once you figure out the species/colour combinations you want for your pets, there are plenty of ways to get them. You can paint, morph, or adopt! Sometimes, we get lucky users here who run Faerie Fountain giveaways as well.

Tip: Always check if a particular Morphing Potion is cheaper than Paint Brushes. It can save you a lot of NP.

• Maybe obtain a Secret Lab Map to try for a lab-exclusive colour, or perhaps to zap pound pets into interesting colours to help them get adopted out, or just for the sheer thrill of zapping?
  
• Collecting Avatars! /~Avatiers has a really good visual list. Build up your stats first, and you could drop by the Avatar NeoBoards to (politely) ask for lends. JN's Avatar Checklist provides code for you to put on a petpage, so lenders can easily check what you're missing.
  
• Aspiring for the best Gallery? There are a lot of items to catch up on. JN has a fantastic Item Database where you can search for items!
  
• Customisation? You’ll love Dress to Impress if you haven’t checked them out already.
  
• Want to spruce up your userlookup with game trophies? Here's an awesome score tracker so you know what's a reasonable score needed for Bronze/SilveGold. Just click on the graphs in the rightmost column to view the score requirements for a trophy over the past few months.
  
• Perhaps you just enjoy coding and beautifying your Lookups, Petpages, and more? What about a Neo Portfolio? There are plenty of premade artists around, but I’ll let you roam since there are really too many styles and pages to list. Feel free to ask around though!
  
• This is a non-exhaustive list, of course. Make up your own goals and have fun!
  

Account Recovery

Here’s an updated FAQ at /~Wispalings on what to do if you think you are frozen, and /~Sarika_ambrielle has all the details of what you should keep track of if you need to send in a recovery ticket. It's a good idea to backup your info in case you ever have to prove that an account belongs to you.
We have a revamped Lost Account Guide, to add to those petpages mentioned above!
The TL;DR for account recovery:

• Check that your account still exists! Your account may have been purged if it’s been inactive for years. Go here: http://www.neopets.com/userlookup.phtml?user=USERNAME, replace USERNAME with your own. If it is indeed purged, you most likely will need to start on a new account.
  
• Once you’ve verified that the account still exists, it’s all about figuring out details to prove that your account is yours, like your birthdate, linked email (and/or pass emails), NC/Premium purchase history, etc. Here's a NeoBoard post explaining what they want really.
  
• The Ticket System is now located at their support address: [email protected].
  
• General tips for getting a ticket response: Always be truthful and respectful. Give as much useful info about your situation/account as you're able, post on the "Highway to Help" thread located in the Help NeoBoard. Keep your ticket updated once per week to show TNT you're an active user waiting. Please read the following petpage, /~Kaizsa, before posting on the "Highway to Help" thread.
  

Basic Security

• Go to your Account Preferences. Block everything you don't want, ALWAYS check the birthday login prompt, and I'd recommend Plain Text Neomail. That makes it so any scripts sent through NM won't run.
  
• Similarly for your PIN Preferences. Set a PIN on ALL accounts (main/sides should all be pinned), preferably different/regularly changed, and keep no exceptions on where a PIN is used. Check all the boxes.
  

FAQ

• Why is everything broken? I can't even see the map.

Have you enabled Flash for your browser? Here's a JN article on how to do so. You will probably need to reenable Flash every time you completely close out of your browser.
If it's not Flash related, then a long list of things can be found here.

• Why aren't any of the games working?

Adblock is struggling on Neopets, and by struggling I mean racking up multiple thousands of blocked ads and lagging the site. Right at this moment, it's a good idea to go grab uBlock Origin (Chrome / Firefox) for whatever browser you're using and use that over Adblock right now.
I would also check out this thread on How to Run Flash Games on Chrome with Adblock.

• How do I leave Neopets Beta?

If, for whatever reason, you no longer want to be looking at the beta version of any of the pages we've previously discussed, simply click on the "View Classic Site" button in the profile menu to return to the site as all non-beta viewers see it. To get back into the beta view, click the "View Beta" link that's now on the right side of the "Logout" button for you. Do know that once the transition begins, you will not be able to return to Neopets Classic.
tl;dr: Click your pet in the top left corner, there should be a switch button. The Beta Mode will be permanent for everyone soon though.

• IS NEOPETS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE FLASH DYING?

No, TNT has announced that they are working on converting their Flash works to HTML5. On December 16th, 2020, TNT released an End of Flash Update video detailing their progress.

• Is Premium worth it?

That is up to you to decide and how active you are going to be on this site to make the most out of it. There are incentives such as Super Shop Wizard (SSW), if you are a prominent restocker, Species Change Perk (once every 365 days upon first use) that allows you to obtain nearly every converted colored species (no Draiks and Krawks) including the rare Ice Bori, and more. Check out JN's Guide on that.

That's it! If you've read all this way, thank you for your time. I hope this helps some players. ^ ^

All these books take place at a specific time and place in Earth’s past. Other than that one nod to reality, all bets are off.

27. The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow - 2020

In 1893, there’s no such thing as witches. There used to be, in the wild, dark days before the burnings began, but now witching is nothing but tidy charms and nursery rhymes. If the modern woman wants any measure of power, she must find it at the ballot box.
But when the Eastwood sisters—James Juniper, Agnes Amaranth, and Beatrice Belladonna—join the suffragists of New Salem, they begin to pursue the forgotten words and ways that might turn the women’s movement into the witch’s movement. Stalked by shadows and sickness, hunted by forces who will not suffer a witch to vote—and perhaps not even to live—the sisters will need to delve into the oldest magics, draw new alliances, and heal the bond between them if they want to survive.
There’s no such thing as witches. But there will be.

“A love letter to folklore and the rebellious women of history.” ―Publishers Weekly

26. The Terror by Dan Simmons - 2007

The men on board HMS Terror have every expectation of triumph. As part of the 1845 Franklin Expedition, the first steam-powered vessels ever to search for the legendary Northwest Passage, they are as scientifically supported an enterprise as has ever set forth.
As they enter a second summer in the Arctic Circle without a thaw, though, they are stranded in a nightmarish landscape of encroaching ice and darkness. Endlessly cold, with diminishing rations, 126 men fight to survive with poisonous food, a dwindling supply of coal, and ships buckling in the grip of crushing ice. But their real enemy is far more terrifying.
There is something out there in the frigid darkness: an unseen predator stalking their ship, a monstrous terror constantly clawing to get in. As yet another winter approaches, as scurvy and starvation grow more terrible, and as the terror gets closer, the captain and his men begin to fear that there is no escape.

“The best and most unusual historical novel I have read in years.” ―The Boston Globe

25. Servant of the Underworld by Aliette de Bodard - 2010

Book 1 of 3 in the Obsidian and Blood series
Year One-Knife, Tenochtitlan the capital of the Aztecs. Human sacrifice and the magic of the living blood are the only things keeping the sun in the sky and the earth fertile.
A Priestess disappears from an empty room drenched in blood. It should be a usual investigation for Acatl, High Priest of the Dead—except that his estranged brother is involved, and the the more he digs, the deeper he is drawn into the political and magical intrigues of noblemen, soldiers, and priests-and of the gods themselves…

“Part murder mystery, part well-researched historical novel and part fantasy.” —SFX Magazine

24. The Philosopher's Flight by Tom Miller - 2018

Book 1 of 2 in The Philosophers Series
Eighteen-year-old Robert Weekes is one of the few men who practice empirical philosophy—an arcane, female-dominated branch of science used to summon the wind, heal the injured, and even fly.
He’s always dreamed of being the first man to join the US Sigilry Corps’ Rescue and Evacuation Department, an elite team of flying medics, but everyone knows that’s impossible: men can barely get off the ground. When a shocking tragedy puts Robert’s philosophical abilities to the test, he rises to the occasion and wins a scholarship to study philosophy at Radcliffe College—an all-women’s school.
At Radcliffe, Robert hones his flying skills and strives to win the respect of his classmates, a host of formidable and unruly women. Robert falls hard for Danielle Hardin, a disillusioned young hero of the Great War turned political radical. But Danielle’s activism and Robert’s recklessness attract the attention of the same fanatical anti-philosophical group that Robert’s mother fought against decades before.
With their lives in mounting danger, Robert and Danielle band together with a team of unlikely heroes to fight for Robert’s place among the next generation of empirical philosophers—and for philosophy’s very survival against the men who would destroy it.

“[A] wealth of worldbuilding in this deft, nonconformist historical fantasy set during World War I…Miller offers a nuanced adventure story that mixes romance, gunplay, and social awareness into its steampunk-ish revelry. A fun, fast-paced coming-of-age story laced with magic.” —Kirkus Reviews

23. Fevre Dream by George R.R. Martin - 1982

That’s right. The Game of Thrones guy wrote a darn good vampire book, too.
Abner Marsh, a struggling riverboat captain, suspects that something’s amiss when a wealthy aristocrat with a lucrative offer approaches him. The hauntingly pale, steely-eyed Joshua York doesn’t care that the icy winter of 1857 has wiped out all but one of Marsh’s dilapidated fleet; nor does he care that he won’t earn back his investment any time soon. York’s reasons for traversing the powerful Mississippi are to be none of Marsh’s concern—no matter how bizarre, arbitrary, or capricious York’s actions may prove. Not until the maiden voyage of Fevre Dream does Marsh realize that he has joined a mission both more sinister, and perhaps more noble, than his most fantastic nightmare—and humankind’s most impossible dream.

“An adventure into the heart of darkness that transcends even the most inventive vampire novels . . . Fevre Dream runs red with original, high adventure.” —Los Angeles Herald Examiner

22. Dodger by Terry Pratchett - 2012

A storm. Rain-lashed city streets. A flash of lightning. A scruffy lad sees a girl leap desperately from a horse-drawn carriage in a vain attempt to escape her captors. Can the lad stand by and let her be caught again? Of course not, because he’s…Dodger.
Seventeen-year-old Dodger may be a street urchin, but he gleans a living from London’s sewers, and he knows a jewel when he sees one. He’s not about to let anything happen to the unknown girl—not even if her fate impacts some of the most powerful people in England.
From Dodger’s encounter with the mad barber Sweeney Todd to his meetings with the great writer Charles Dickens and the calculating politician Benjamin Disraeli, history and fantasy intertwine in a breathtaking account of adventure and mystery.

“Masterful. Unexpected, drily funny and full of the pathos and wonder of life: Don’t miss it.” —Kirkus Reviews

21. The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter by Theodora Goss - 2017

Book 1 of 3 in The Extraordinary Adventures of the Athena Club series
Mary Jekyll, alone and penniless following her parents’ death, is curious about the secrets of her father’s mysterious past. One clue in particular hints that Edward Hyde, her father’s former friend and a murderer, may be nearby, and there is a reward for information leading to his capture…a reward that would solve all of her immediate financial woes.
But her hunt leads her to Hyde’s daughter, Diana, a feral child left to be raised by nuns. With the assistance of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, Mary continues her search for the elusive Hyde, and soon befriends more women, all of whom have been created through terrifying experimentation: Beatrice Rappaccini, Catherin Moreau, and Justine Frankenstein.
When their investigations lead them to the discovery of a secret society of immoral and power-crazed scientists, the horrors of their past return. Now it is up to the monsters to finally triumph over the monstrous.

“A tour de force of reclaiming the narrative, executed with impressive wit and insight.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review

20. Shades of Milk and Honey by Mary Robinette Kowal - 2010

Book 1 of 5 in the Glamourist Histories series
Shades of Milk and Honey is exactly what we could expect from Jane Austen if she had been a fantasy writer: Pride and Prejudice meets Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. It is an intimate portrait of a woman, Jane, and her quest for love in a world where the manipulation of glamour is considered an essential skill for a lady of quality.
Jane and her sister Melody vie for the attentions of eligible men, and while Jane’s skill with glamour is remarkable, it is her sister who is fair of face. When Jane realizes that one of Melody’s suitors is set on taking advantage of her sister for the sake of her dowry, she pushes her skills to the limit of what her body can withstand in order to set things right—and, in the process, accidentally wanders into a love story of her own.

“With the grace of Sense and Sensibility, a touch of classic fairy tale magic, and an action-packed ending, this debut novel by an award-winning fantasy short story writer will appeal to fans of Jane Austen, Jane Yolen, Patricia Wrede, Susannah Clarke, and even Jasper Fforde.” —Library Journal

19. The Once and Future King by T. H. White - 1958

Once upon a time, a young boy called “Wart” was tutored by a magician named Merlyn in preparation for a future he couldn’t possibly imagine. A future in which he would ally himself with the greatest knights, love a legendary queen, and unite a country dedicated to chivalrous values. A future that would see him crowned and known for all time as Arthur, King of the Britons.
During Arthur’s reign, the kingdom of Camelot was founded to cast enlightenment on the Dark Ages, while the knights of the Round Table embarked on many a noble quest. But Merlyn foresaw the treachery that awaited his liege: the forbidden love between Queen Guenever and Lancelot, the wicked plots of Arthur’s half-sister Morgause, and the hatred she fostered in Mordred that would bring an end to the king’s dreams for Britain—and to the king himself.

“Touching, profound, funny and tragic.” —Los Angeles Times

18. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov - 1966

One spring afternoon, the Devil, trailing fire and chaos in his wake, weaves himself out of the shadows and into Moscow.
Written during the darkest period of Stalin’s repressive reign and a devastating satire of Soviet life, it combines two distinct yet interwoven parts, one set in contemporary Moscow, the other in ancient Jerusalem, each brimming with historical, imaginary, frightful and wonderful characters. Although completed in 1940, The Master & Margarita was not published until 1966 when the first section appeared in the monthly magazine Moskva. Russians everywhere responded enthusiastically to the novel’s artistic and spiritual freedom and it was an immediate and enduring success.

“By turns hilarious, mysterious, contemplative, and poignant . . . A great work.” —Chicago Tribune

17. Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn - 2002

Book 1 of 5 in the Tales of the Otori series
In his black-walled fortress at Inuyama, the warlord Iida Sadamu surveys his famous nightingale floor. Constructed with exquisite skill, it sings at the tread of each human foot. No assassin can cross it unheard.
The youth Takeo has been brought up in a remote mountain village among the Hidden, a reclusive and spiritual people who have taught him only the ways of peace. But unbeknownst to him, his father was a celebrated assassin and a member of the Tribe, an ancient network of families with extraordinary, preternatural skills.
When Takeo’s village is pillaged, he is rescued and adopted by the mysterious Lord Otori Shigeru. Under the tutelage of Shigeru, he learns that he too possesses the skills of the Tribe. And, with this knowledge, he embarks on a journey that will lead him across the famed nightingale floor—and to his own unimaginable destiny…

“Satisfyingly rich in incident yet admirably spare in the telling…Hearn has created a world I anticipate returning to with pleasure.” —The New York Times Book Review

16. Bridge of Birds by Barry Hughart - 1984

Book 1 of 3 in The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox
When the children of his village were struck with a mysterious illness, Number Ten Ox sought a wiseman to save them. He found master Li Kao, a scholar with a slight flaw in his character. Together they set out to find the Great Root of Power, the only possible cure.
The quest led them to a host of truly memorable characters, multiple wonders, incredible adventures—and strange coincidences, which were really not coincidences at all. And it involved them in an ancient crime that still perturbed the serenity of Heaven. Simply and charmingly told, this is a wry tale, a sly tale, and a story of wisdom delightfully askew. Once read, its marvels and beauty will not easily fade from the mind.

“Li Kao may have a slight flaw in his character but the book has none. I recommend it unconditionally and I predict Barry Hughart has quite a future as a fantasy writer.” —Anne McCaffrey, author of the Dragonriders of Pern series

15. Lion of Macedon by David Gemmell - 1990

Book 1 of 2 in the Greek Series
Over and again, the aged seeress Tamis scried all the possible tomorrows. In every one, dark forces threatened Greece; terrible evil was poised to reenter the world. The future held only one hope: a half-caste Spartan boy, Parmenion. So Tamis made it her mission to see that Parmenion would become the deadliest warrior in the world—no matter what the cost.
Raised to manhood in Sparta, bullied and forced to fight for his life every day, Parmenion had no notion of the unseen dimensions of magic and mystery that shaped his fate. He grew in strength and cunning. His military genius earned him the title Strategos in Sparta. His triumphs for the city of Thebes made him a hero. And finally his fate led him to the service of Philip of Macedon.
As Tamis had foreseen, Parmenion’s destiny was tied to the Dark God, to Philip, and to the yet-unborn Alexander. All too soon the future was upon them. Parmenion stood poised to defeat evil—or to open the gate for the Dark God to reenter the world.

14. Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier - 1999

Book 1 of 6 in The Sevenwaters Series
The Sevenwaters series takes place in Ireland and Britain in the ninth century.
Lovely Sorcha is the seventh child and only daughter of Lord Colum of Sevenwaters. Bereft of a mother, she is comforted by her six brothers who love and protect her. Sorcha is the light in their lives and they are determined that she know only contentment. But Sorcha’s joy is shattered when her father is bewitched by his new wife, an evil enchantress who binds her brothers with a terrible spell, a spell which only Sorcha can lift—by staying silent.
If she speaks before she completes the quest set to her by the Fair Folk and their queen, the Lady of the Forest, she will lose her brothers forever. When Sorcha is kidnapped by the enemies of Sevenwaters and taken to a foreign land, she is torn between the desire to save her beloved brothers, and a love that comes only once. Sorcha despairs that she will never able to complete her task, but the magic of the Fair Folk knows no boundaries, and love is the strongest magic of them all….

13. The Lions of Al-rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay - 1995

The ruling Asharites have come from the desert sands, worshipping the stars, their warrior blood fierce and pure. But over centuries, seduced by the sensuous pleasures of their new land, that stern piety has eroded. The Asharies empire has splintered into decadent city-states lead by warring petty kinds.
King Almalik of Cartada is on the ascendancy, adding city after city to his realm, even though Cartada is threatened by forces both within and without. Almalik is aided by his friend and advisor, the notorious Ammar ibn Khairan—poet, diplomat, soldier—until a summer afternoon of savage brutality changes their relationship forever.
Meanwhile, in the north, Rodrigo Belmonte, the Jaddite’s most celebrated and feared military leader, is driven into exile in the wake of events following the death of the king he loved. Rodrigo leads his mercenary company south, to the dangerous lands of Al-Rassan.
In the exquisite lakeside city of Ragosa, Rodrigo Belmonte and Ammar ibn Kharian meet and serve, for a time, the same master. Sharing the interwoven fate of these two men from different worlds—and increasingly torn in her feelings—is Jehane, the beautiful, accomplished court physician, whose own skills play an increasing role as Al-Rassan is swept to the brink of holy war, and beyond.
“A magnificent, deeply moving book.” —Locus

12. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon - 1992

Book 1 of 8 in the Outlander series
Scottish Highlands, 1945. Claire Randall, a former British combat nurse, is just back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon when she walks through a standing stone in one of the ancient circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach—an “outlander”—in a Scotland torn by war and raiding clans in the year of Our Lord… 1743.
Claire is catapulted into the intrigues of a world that threatens her life, and may shatter her heart. Marooned amid danger, passion, and violence, Claire learns her only chance of safety lies in Jamie Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior. What begins in compulsion becomes urgent need, and Claire finds herself torn between two very different men, in two irreconcilable lives.
“Marvelous and fantastic adventures, romance, sex . . . perfect escape reading.” —San Francisco Chronicle

11. Taliesin by Stephen R. Lawhead - 1987

Book 1 of 6 in The Pendragon Cycle
It was a time of legend, when the last shadows of the mighty Roman conqueror fade from the captured Isle of Britain. While across a vast sea, a bloody war shatters a peace that had flourished for two thousand years in the doomed kingdom of Atlantis.
Charis, a princess from Atlantis, escapes the terrible devastation of her land and meets the fabled seer and druid prince Taliesin, singer at the dawn of the age. Their incomparable love joins two astonishing worlds amid the fires of chaos, and spawns the miracles of Merlin and King Arthur.

“Reminiscent of C. S. Lewis . . . Highly recommended.” —Library Journal

10. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith - 2010

Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother’s bedside. She’s been stricken with something the old-timers call “Milk Sickness.”
“My baby boy…” she whispers before dying.
Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother’s fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.
When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, “Henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose. Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.
While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.
Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

“[T]he funniest, most action-packed and weirdly well-researched account of the Civil War you’ll probably read in a long time. Grahame-Smith could be poised to become the Howard Zinn of vampire-related alterna-history.” ―Vanity Fair

9. His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novi - 2006

Book 1 of 10 in the Temeraire series
When HMS Reliant captures a French frigate and seizes its precious cargo (an unhatched dragon egg), fate sweeps Capt. Will Laurence from his seafaring life into an uncertain future—and an unexpected kinship with a most extraordinary creature. Thrust into the rarified world of the Aerial Corps as master of the dragon Temeraire, he will face a crash course in the daring tactics of airborne battle. For as France’s own dragon-borne forces rally to breach British soil in Bonaparte’s boldest gambit, Laurence and Temeraire must soar into their own baptism of fire.
“Terrifically entertaining.” —Stephen King

8. Soulless by Gail Carriger - 2009

Book 1 of 5 in The Parasol Protectorate series
Alexia Tarabotti is laboring under a great many social tribulations. First, she has no soul. Second, she’s a spinster whose father is both Italian and dead. Third, she was rudely attacked by a vampire, breaking all standards of social etiquette.
Where to go from there? From bad to worse, for Alexia accidentally kills the vampire, and then the appalling Lord Maccon (loud, messy, gorgeous, and a werewolf) is sent by Queen Victoria to investigate.
With unexpected vampires appearing and expected vampires disappearing, everyone seems to believe Alexia responsible. Can she figure out what is actually happening to London’s high society? Will her soulless ability to negate supernatural powers prove useful or just plain embarrassing? Finally, who is the real enemy, and do they have treacle tart?

“Carriger debuts brilliantly with a blend of Victorian romance, screwball comedy of manners and alternate history… This intoxicatingly witty parody will appeal to a wide cross-section of romance, fantasy and steampunk fans.” ―Publishers Weekly, starred review

7. Territory by Emma Bull - 2007

Tombstone, Arizona in 1881 is the site of one of the richest mineral strikes in American history, where veins of silver run like ley lines under the earth, a network of power that belongs to anyone who knows how to claim and defend it.
Above the ground, power is also about allegiances. A magician can drain his friends’ strength to strengthen himself, and can place them between him and danger. The one with the most friends stands to win the territory.
Jesse Fox left his Eastern college education to travel West, where he’s made some decidedly odd friends, like the physician Chow Lung, who insists that Jesse has a talent for magic. In Tombstone, Jesse meets the tubercular Doc Holliday, whose inner magic is as suppressed as his own, but whose power is enough to attract the sorcerous attention of Wyatt Earp.
Mildred Benjamin is a young widow making her living as a newspaper typesetter, and—unbeknownst to the other ladies of Tombstone—selling tales of Western derring-do to the magazines back East. Like Jesse, Mildred has episodes of seeing things that can’t possibly be there.
When a failed stage holdup results in two dead, Tombstone explodes with speculation about who attempted the robbery. The truth could destroy Earp’s plans for wealth and glory, and he’ll do anything to bury it. Meanwhile, outlaw leader John Ringo wants the same turf as Earp. Each courts Jesse as an ally, and tries to isolate him by endangering his friends, as they struggle for magical dominance of the territory.
Events are building toward the shootout of which you may have heard. But you haven’t heard the whole, secret story until you’ve read Emma Bull’s unique take on an American legend, in which absolutely nothing is as it seems…
“Emma Bull is really good.” —Neil Gaiman

6. The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. by Neal Stephenson & Nicole Galland - 2017

The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. is brilliant, fast-paced, and will give you sore wrists because it’s a thick, heavy book, but you will not want to put it down.
An expert in ancient languages is hired by a mysterious government agency to translate some documents that suggest that magic actually once existed in the world. But the advance of science caused magic to disappear in 1851. However, the existence of a two-hundred-year-old witch and some fancy technology allow a limited amount of magic to occur in this world, and soon the language expert and others are being sent back in time to repair history. And, if they’re lucky, bring magic back to the world.

“Quantum physics, witchcraft, and multiple groups with conflicting agendas, playfully mixed with vernacular from several centuries and a dizzying number of acronyms, create a fascinating experiment in speculation and metafiction that never loses sight of the human foibles and affections of its cast.” —Publishers Weekly

5. The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker - 2013

Chava is a golem, a creature made of clay, brought to life to by a disgraced rabbi who dabbles in dark Kabbalistic magic and dies at sea on the voyage from Poland. Chava is unmoored and adrift as the ship arrives in New York harbor in 1899.
Ahmad is a jinni, a being of fire born in the ancient Syrian desert, trapped in an old copper flask, and released in New York City, though still not entirely free.
Ahmad and Chava become unlikely friends and soul mates with a mystical connection. This debut novel weaves strands of Yiddish and Middle Eastern literature, historical fiction and magical fable into an inventive tale.

“[A] spellbinding blend of fantasy and historical fiction.” —Publishers Weekly

4. Soldier of the Mist by Gene Wolfe - 1986

Latro is a Roman mercenary who receives a head injury that deprives him of his short-term memory. In return it gives him the ability to converse with supernatural creatures, gods and goddesses who invisibly inhabit the ancient landscape.

“[A] wonder, yes, a genius.” ―The Washington Post Book World on Gene Wolfe

3. The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud - 2003

Book 1 of 4 in the Bartimaeus series
I’m a huge Jonathan Stroud fan, and this is the book that got me hooked.
Nathaniel is eleven-years-old and a magician’s apprentice, learning the traditional art of magic. All is well until he has a life-changing encounter with Simon Lovelace, a magician of unrivaled ruthlessness and ambition. When Lovelace brutally humiliates Nathaniel in public, Nathaniel decides to speed up his education, teaching himself spells far beyond his years.
With revenge on his mind, he masters one of the toughest spells of all and summons Bartimaeus, a five-thousand-year-old snarky djinni, to assist him. But summoning Bartimaeus and controlling him are two different things entirely, and when Nathaniel sends the djinni out to steal Lovelace’s greatest treasure, the Amulet of Samarkand, he finds himself caught up in a whirlwind of magical espionage, murder, and rebellion.

2. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke - 2004

In the year 1806, in the midst of the Napoleonic Wars, most people believe magic to have long since disappeared from England, until the reclusive Mr Norrell reveals his powers and becomes a celebrity overnight. Another practicing magician emerges: the young and daring Jonathan Strange. He becomes Norrell’s pupil and the two join forces in the war against France. But Strange is increasingly drawn to the wildest, most perilous forms of magic and soon he risks sacrificing not only his partnership with Norrell, but everything else he holds dear.

“Immense, intelligent, inventive… Clarke is a restrained and witty writer with an arch and eminently readable style.” ―Entertainment Weekly

1. Kindred by Octavia E. Butler - 1979

Kindred is an astonishing, fantastic book. Author Butler is a master. This book is often considered science fiction, but it easily could be called fantasy.
Dana, a modern black woman, is celebrating her twenty-sixth birthday with her new husband when she is snatched abruptly from her home in California and transported to the antebellum South. Rufus, the white son of a plantation owner, is drowning, and Dana has been summoned to save him. Dana is drawn back repeatedly through time to the slave quarters, and each time the stay grows longer, more arduous, and more dangerous until it is uncertain whether or not Dana’s life will end, long before it has a chance to begin.

“Truly terrifying… A book you’ll find hard to put down.” —Essence

Blog link

1) Failure to Use Betting Banks
Most gamblers fail to understand that the best method of achieving a healthy and sustained long term profit from racing is to set aside a sum of money away from your main finances, solely for the betting of horses. Whatever method or system you are using, whoever you are following or subscribing to or however your own bets are calculated, you are better off with a "Betting Bank" that has built -in advantages that can help you. It needs to be independent from your own personal finances and needs to be protected from factors that can threaten it. This can take a lot of emotion out of the decision making process. Emotion is a factor that threatens all punters. The size of your betting bank will of course be dependent upon your own individual circumstances and free capital available.
An analogy to the world of shares perhaps may be that no financial advisor worth his salt would advise you throw all your capital into the stock market alone. The vast majority of punters fail to use any form of set aside bank. They bet randomly with what ever money they have in their pocket at the end of the week or go in too deep with stakes far in excess of their personal safety levels. A punter with a professional attitude will set aside what he can comfortably afford to invest and then determine the best use he can make of that fixed sum of capital. With a fixed sum of capital available you now move on to the next reason for failure.
2) Failure to Stake Correctly
It is vital that you consider your betting bank as capped in amount. You do not have an endless pool of resources to dip into. Betting by its nature carries inherent risks. These risks include periods of low strike rates and long losing runs. Your betting bank and staking should be adapted for the method you use. You must in advance, prepare yourself for the possibility of a worse than average sequence of losers through adoption of a sufficient number of units in your betting bank. Correct methodical staking in addition to the mathematical advantage, can also help overcome the risk of emotional reaction to a sequence of unusually positive or negative results. Take the Pricewise column in the racing post as an example.
Long term if you could get on at the advised prices, it would have returned a decent profit overall. During this time however followers would have to have endured runs of up to 40 losers in a row! Despite the overall long term profit I suspect the vast majority of Pricewise followers would have been terminated either by a failure to set aside a sufficient amount of points or through failure to cope with the emotion of the losing run. We have long since established here a strike rate of about 35% on our Best Bet selections and at an average S.P. of over 5/2 for each winning bet.
We feel able to protect clients banks as long losing runs haven't happened and the strike rate and odds have been more than enough to ensure long steady and safe growth for your betting profits. That is in essence the key to winning money. Manage your accounts in a way that protects them as far as possible from the element of risk that the game presents you.
3) Chasing Losses
Chasing losses at first sight may appear to be an easy way to guarantee an eventual profit but the true story is it is a game for fools and statistically will not work unless you generate an overall level stakes profit. Chasing losses is a game for the ill informed who do not want to make the effort to seek value in their bets. Bookmakers have to price up every race. Punters don't have to play in every race, they can pick the races they want to bet in,and that is the main edge that people fail to understand.
If you have had a losing day, by attempting to chasing your losses you give up that advantage and bet in the races that you should not be betting in. You are therefore betting the way bookmakers want you to and not in the way to win. Many punters will alter their stakes in the last race either to "chase" losses or "play up" winnings. Its no coincidence that the bookmakers have ensured that the last race on each day is often a handicap or one of the hardest races that day. There will be more racing the next day and the day after that.
The secret is waiting for opportunities and only betting when you know you have circumstances which favour you and not the bookmakers. You must never change your approach, or deviate from sensible staking as there is no such things as "The Last Race".
4) Lack of Value Appreciation
Appreciation of "value" in a bet is core to long term success. To profit over a long series of bets you must be betting at odds greater than the true chance of winning your selection have. To do this however over the long term, you need to concentrate on each race individually and seek the value bet in that race. There is value to be had in every race. The key to it is understanding where that value is. Many times a punter will screw up a losing betting slip and say "At least I had some value".
There is absolutely NO relationship between value and prices. A 33/1 chance may be diabolical value yet a very short priced favorite may be supreme value. It does not follow that the bigger the price you take the better "value" you have. The value is sometimes clear but more often well hidden and it takes a trained eye to see that. Everyone has this "Foresight" on occasions, it is a game about opinions after all and nobody is always right or wrong. Value can be the most expensive word in racing if you can't bet winner. The old cliche is that value is about betting a horse whose true chance is better than its price reflects.
That's only a small part of it. You also have to make sure that you bet in the right way and in the right races as that is the only way you can keep strike rates high and protect a betting bank. You should continually strive to increase value in your bets. Once you have a selection you feel is value do not just take the first acceptable price that comes along. Seek to improve it by shopping around the various bookmakers or try and top the best bookmakers price by looking to the betting exchanges. Marginal improvements on odds on each bet you make can have a dramatic effect on long term profits.
5) Greed For Instant Wealth
Many punters seek the thrill of a life changing bet that will produce huge gains of instant wealth for a small outlay. Bookmakers play on your natural desire and go out of their way to encourage you to bet exotic multiple selection bets that can in one hit, turn a small stake into a large sum. Professionals however rarely bet in multiples. Most professionals bet singles and steer away from the multiple bets. Bookmakers relentlessly promote a host of multiple bets with exotic names such as Yankee, Lucky 15, and Goliath.
The reason they are heavily touted is the profit margin in the bookmaker's favour increases the more selections you add to your multiple bet. Say you select any random 5/1 selection. If you bet this as a single the bookmaker may have a theoretical edge in his favor of 15%. Taking two such selections however and betting them in a win double, the bookmakers profit margin rises to about 30% ! Yes your win double can produce a much bigger win from the same stake however over the long term the bookmaker is eating away at your capital at a much faster rate.
It is a waste of time debating which type of multiple bet is 'best'. Unless your prediction skills are supernatural or you are incredibly lucky, then betting in singles is more often the best option. You may say that many "Pros," do bet in multiples in bets like The Scoop 6 or the Jackpot, but that's only because they know there is plenty of "Dead" money in any given Pool and they are betting against people who don't understand the dynamics of those types of bet. There are times you should bet in multiples but in truth they are few and far between.
You can't approach this as a "Get Rich Quick " scheme. It is a long slow process of serious and sustained profit and not a game for Get Rich Quick schemers. If you go Into any Betting shop, have a look at all the posters on the wall offering "special offers", "enhanced terms " and "bonus offers". You will see they are all multiple bets. Bookmakers want you betting in multiples and it is easy to see why. They carve most profit from them. You never see a Bookmakers promotion offering extra's on a win or each way single. Ask yourself why.

Bet structure and behaviours

The Yankee bet consists of 11 bets and four selections
As you can see in the image below, the bet is structured with:

• 6 Doubles
• 4 Trebles
• 1 accumulator

The six doubles are displayed visually below.

• Selections A, B
• Selections A, C
• Selections A, D
• Selections B, C
• Selections B, D
• Selections C, D

As per the picture below:
Trebles:

• Selections A, B, C
• Selections B, C, D
• Selections A, C, D
• Selections A, B, D

The final bet then consists of an accumulator or Parlay of four selections being selections:

• A, B, C and D.

​
​

History and Strategy

Why is this bet called a “Yankee”?
No one is really sure where the word Yankee originated from; some say a British Army general named James Wolf used it first in 1758 when he was commanding; some New England soldiers in America, others say the word comes from a Cherokee word Ian Kay which means coward! Wherever the word comes from … does not matter now as the Yankee bet has remained in the betting shops for decades … and looks like it is going nowhere!The Yankee is closely related to the lucky 15. The lucky 15 is simply a Yankee with four single bets. See our Lucky 15 Guide HERE.
How many bets are required to gain a return?
This means that a Yankee would therefore require 2 winning selections to enable a return, assuming the bet was a WIN Yankee. If the Yankee was an each way bet, this would of course total 22 Bets. The return from an Each Way Yankee with require two of the selections minimum to be placed. See our each Way Guide HERE. Punters must bear this in mind when placing their Yankee bets and selecting the correct prices which would suit their needs. For example, if you had a win double as you only return, and both these winners consisted of even money favourites the return of your £1 Yankee brackets which totals 11 pound would only be 4 pounds.
Strategy
This is one of the most important factors that punters should bear in mind when structuring their multiple bets. It is very popular for punters to opt for the each way choice of Yankee due to this factor above, however, this of course results in 22 Bets in total - and some punters would rather reduce their stake and be in with more of a chance of obtaining a return, rather than have a larger stake consisting of a win only bet.
At the end of the day, it is all down to personal preferences.
You can CALCULATE your bet above, play around with the odds and see which suits your needs the most!
Be Lucky!

Period: 28.79 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	999	15010
Rate (per day)	34.69	481.86
Unique Redditors	373	1083
Combined Score	27261	31781

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 858 points, 23 submissions: QuirkyTitle1
   
   1. Good old days of the pass when it had as many keys as the paid track today (147 points, 47 comments)
   2. My Ao Jun (102 points, 42 comments)
   3. You can use the change robot as a map on beacon rush to see where everybody is,if they are looking at you,etc.very useful (90 points, 46 comments)
   4. A kid in its natural habitat (61 points, 18 comments)
   5. You:after so many months you still have her as an idol? Me:always (56 points, 31 comments)
   6. After all these years I finally have them all (53 points, 25 comments)
   7. There already is a schutze pilot (47 points, 37 comments)
   8. Rare footage of quick match being not so quick (46 points, 25 comments)
   9. ... (44 points, 9 comments)
   10. I have never seen a more happy image :’) (taken today) (36 points, 34 comments)
2. 777 points, 21 submissions: _Mausername_
   
   1. FML. You all know that feeling. Atleast we won though. (130 points, 18 comments)
   2. Does this setup work as good as it looks? Always have to stop and look when I see one. (123 points, 36 comments)
   3. Hands in the air where I can see them, scumbag!! (99 points, 8 comments)
   4. Anyone else having this problem lately, or now how to make it stop? Display ratio always changing and distorts the images. (76 points, 15 comments)
   5. Anyone else still getting these images? I'm on Android. (60 points, 18 comments)
   6. The new Treb visuals look really cool. (54 points, 17 comments)
   7. Ming shadow looking like Godzilla (48 points, 8 comments)
   8. Nah, that's not suspicious at all.😆 (41 points, 10 comments)
   9. Magnums look better after today's update. Glossy. (25 points, 3 comments)
   10. They did a nice job with the Hoar skin. Rime themed for sure. (16 points, 12 comments)
3. 772 points, 17 submissions: _summoning_
   
   1. Everything is better than yellow ❄️🖤❄️ (123 points, 26 comments)
   2. T4 Acid Sprayer DOT Test (82 points, 14 comments)
   3. Yo! 😂 (81 points, 19 comments)
   4. Thank you, Stan! (79 points, 47 comments)
   5. Ao Jun nerf in 6.4: no more invisibility during takeoff and landing (Remastered is out in Russia) (66 points, 148 comments)
   6. Why so much hate? (55 points, 114 comments)
   7. New iPhones tomorrow. Good enough for Remastered? (49 points, 10 comments)
   8. Anyone still using Titans? (39 points, 34 comments)
   9. Shotgun Minos - let’s repeat the Ravana dance? (39 points, 17 comments)
   10. My favorite Titan (36 points, 14 comments)
4. 711 points, 30 submissions: NotVeryTastyCake
   
   1. I died when i used Tyr ability to burstheal, at least it looks cool (110 points, 28 comments)
   2. Bruh, thought I would at least get 1 weapons. Opened 10 by 100 (68 points, 46 comments)
   3. Sideways walking Strider (55 points, 24 comments)
   4. Good view! But i wanted to play though... (40 points, 5 comments)
   5. "Titan slayer" but my game lags, so it is just R (36 points, 12 comments)
   6. What? (Part 1)My phone is so weak that the game has to remove textures even if i am like right there even the tiles down there move,why do they move? (34 points, 5 comments)
   7. Lived long enough, could've even kill nodens if this blitz won't ruin my plans (32 points, 10 comments)
   8. "War Robots Remastered" all my teammates are transparent wtf (31 points, 18 comments)
   9. Nicolas Wodanson (29 points, 1 comment)
   10. Tsunami paintjob+Techno atomizer is a good match! (25 points, 7 comments)
5. 609 points, 25 submissions: JFSoul
   
   1. Robot Progression Guide (110 points, 43 comments)
   2. Common Mistakes Made by New Players (69 points, 69 comments)
   3. Weapons Progression Guide (October 2020) (62 points, 19 comments)
   4. META Report 6.3 (09 October 2020) (45 points, 38 comments)
   5. New Titan Minos Profile Screenshot (42 points, 26 comments)
   6. Ideas & Feature Requests (October 2020) (27 points, 74 comments)
   7. Pack of useful boosters as a compensation for the inconvenience (27 points, 14 comments)
   8. Leagues Update (24 points, 47 comments)
   9. Value for Real Money Spending Guide (19 points, 20 comments)
   10. Pilot Skill Ratings (17 points, 8 comments)
6. 600 points, 15 submissions: FenchBadScienceGood
   
   1. This skirmish is top tier lmao (123 points, 45 comments)
   2. Finally reached 1 year on my reddit account, first year has been awesome thanks to this subreddit, hope 2nd year will be as well! (77 points, 35 comments)
   3. Oooof rip this guy (75 points, 15 comments)
   4. Get your free boosters (48 points, 30 comments)
   5. Now I have all 3 atomizers (46 points, 14 comments)
   6. Stellar phantom looks sick on the moon map (41 points, 8 comments)
   7. I remember a post from a few months ago where we could name this map, whats happened to it? No news about it (34 points, 9 comments)
   8. I see no god up here, other than me (33 points, 12 comments)
   9. What do you think, did we win? (30 points, 13 comments)
   10. Um... where did this nightingale come from?? I didnt participate in any giveaways, WTH! (26 points, 28 comments)
7. 509 points, 13 submissions: boredboi69WR
   
   1. New paintjob- "Black" Phantom (174 points, 54 comments)
   2. Literally right before the event ended (82 points, 34 comments)
   3. Not exactly what I wanted, but ok I guess. (55 points, 19 comments)
   4. I like how the Griffin's jump fuel tanks are just cubes at this point (34 points, 11 comments)
   5. Tyr has joined the medic skin gang (30 points, 4 comments)
   6. Special edition "Cryptic" Fenrir (23 points, 21 comments)
   7. Legendary Pilots Ranking List (October 2020) (22 points, 48 comments)
   8. Perfection (Also pictured is my first lvl 10 bot, Nightingale) (20 points, 4 comments)
   9. That UFO is still there on canyon (19 points, 8 comments)
   10. How do I clear the drop-in lag? (14 points, 6 comments)
8. 443 points, 5 submissions: impfurya77
   
   1. Nodens HD quality 😆 (198 points, 21 comments)
   2. I'm keeping an eye on you (118 points, 12 comments)
   3. 😆😂☝🏼 (59 points, 9 comments)
   4. 😂 i cant stop laughing (45 points, 6 comments)
   5. Do you want to dance?😆🤪 (23 points, 4 comments)
9. 388 points, 10 submissions: HORRORCRANKY
   
   1. The sad truth about this game (136 points, 67 comments)
   2. How it feels to go 100+ kmph in a loki (61 points, 26 comments)
   3. Found my long lost bulwark brother (53 points, 8 comments)
   4. My fastest robot. Theoretical top speed of 112.5 kmph with speed boosters and 3 red beacons (37 points, 41 comments)
   5. Lets gooooo (30 points, 9 comments)
   6. How it feels when you get leeched (18 points, 12 comments)
   7. Well, that was a lie (16 points, 8 comments)
   8. New titan? New robot? New weapons? Come see for yourself (15 points, 14 comments)
   9. Nice. Another scorpion (14 points, 8 comments)
   10. Fight me u/FenchBadScienceGood (8 points, 11 comments)
10. 377 points, 15 submissions: unnamedDE
    
    1. Nodens looking sick (82 points, 12 comments)
    2. Why is someone with maxed mk2 in expert league and why does I (not even mk1 maxed) have to play against him? (72 points, 74 comments)
    3. Please be more transparent with the community, pixonic (35 points, 27 comments)
    4. Please stop introducing stronger and stronger bots (33 points, 20 comments)
    5. Sometimes you can get really nice pictures/wallpapers by taking a screenshot just before winning/loosing. Try it out (30 points, 5 comments)
    6. I hate this when it happens. I platinum missing... (27 points, 10 comments)
    7. Players now get less silver (26 points, 33 comments)
    8. I won't say no, but I already got 2 pilots & 2 skins, just give me the bot (13 points, 10 comments)
    9. New legendary pilot (Behemoth) (13 points, 30 comments)
    10. Anybody else experiencing crashes on the test server? (10 points, 3 comments)
11. 362 points, 3 submissions: sufoalmighty
    
    1. The meme is about the game, not the players. (186 points, 19 comments)
    2. It's Monday my dudes!! (132 points, 26 comments)
    3. TFW you have more Platinum than Gold (44 points, 13 comments)
12. 335 points, 2 submissions: Osiru_s
    
    1. The LEGO Pantheon Pack (186 points, 29 comments)
    2. A LEGO Nemesis (149 points, 26 comments)
13. 279 points, 5 submissions: GalacticDwarfFromWR
    
    1. An idea on what the Minos Titan might look like. This was a small collaboration between me and a talented artist by the name of Shibu. The legs and "face" of the Titan are actual art, while the body, horns, that sort of stuff is all drawn to what we think it might look like. (102 points, 24 comments)
    2. A purple and white paint job I made for Fenrir that was originally based off of the Lisianthus flower. I've always wanted a purple and white paint job and decided to put one on Fenrir. (88 points, 5 comments)
    3. Official Concept art for Minos. (50 points, 17 comments)
    4. To Whom it may apply or help, here is a list of current resistance values in the game. If I missed any, please let me know. Minos is not included as there are no known set values. (25 points, 33 comments)
    5. First is the new robot Typhon. It'll be on a test server soon enough with an EMP like Ability, although what that is capable of exactly we do not know. The next is Jotun. Any guesses? No? This was was what Minos was supposed to look like, and was going to be a Scandinavian Titan. Changed a lot huh? (14 points, 5 comments)
14. 275 points, 3 submissions: Je_On
    
    1. Acoustic weapons look cool.. Even plays MJs Thriller, while firing.. (162 points, 29 comments)
    2. 🎃🎃.. (Used old files) (78 points, 8 comments)
    3. Shell, with a shell - Hard nut to crack' (35 points, 4 comments)
15. 272 points, 8 submissions: Zojmyvinx
    
    1. Found this gem (100 points, 66 comments)
    2. Just 1 ember left to go! (45 points, 15 comments)
    3. Pixonic should make the 2500 components a regular prize and not a premium one. (38 points, 12 comments)
    4. Make flames a bit more visible (31 points, 16 comments)
    5. I got scared for a second (21 points, 6 comments)
    6. I do not regret this (19 points, 7 comments)
    7. Cerberus Buffs (12 points, 10 comments)
    8. Rename "Shell" and its ability "Atom" (6 points, 9 comments)
16. 263 points, 7 submissions: Terminator_WR
    
    1. If Lag was real (114 points, 12 comments)
    2. Modes are back Enjoy (89 points, 49 comments)
    3. Upgrade overdrive (15 points, 19 comments)
    4. New update 6.4.8 is live (14 points, 25 comments)
    5. Since Upgrade Overdrive got postponed (check the post above) — let's run an extra Upgrade Rush: up ALL SILVER UPGRADES 50% FASTER up calendar_spiral Dates: October 28-31 (9AM UTC) (14 points, 19 comments)
    6. Post battle ranks rework suggestion (9 points, 11 comments)
    7. War Robot Remastered New Titans | New Robot | New weapons (8 points, 0 comments)
17. 250 points, 6 submissions: Xavagery
    
    1. The ability for new sound weapons to cause unfixable damage is way too overpowered, can we make it so that you can still healer 30% of the healable damage or make it so that some sort of “critical hit” deal this effect? (108 points, 43 comments)
    2. I know Ao Jun has been powercrept, and nerfed to oblivion but I have finally completed my 3 moth journey of building an Ao Jun with 2 enbers (83 points, 22 comments)
    3. I regret everything now (21 points, 14 comments)
    4. Titan Concept: Siegfried (18 points, 9 comments)
    5. Quick video of a compilation of flying robots I made (13 points, 1 comment)
    6. What happened to the maps? (7 points, 7 comments)
18. 249 points, 1 submission: PIRATEBOOS
    
    1. Wr remastered be like: (249 points, 31 comments)
19. 245 points, 8 submissions: FirePineapple256
    
    1. While dolphins return to the canals of Venice, something else starts to return to War Robots........ (148 points, 53 comments)
    2. Petition to nerf Hawk and buff Ao Jun (37 points, 31 comments)
    3. Robot concept (12 points, 8 comments)
    4. When there's a new update that's actually interesting. (11 points, 5 comments)
    5. Which Titan is the best? (11 points, 65 comments)
    6. Hangar advice plz (10 points, 13 comments)
    7. What are your thoughts of the recent Skirmish? (10 points, 8 comments)
    8. What should I do in the future? (6 points, 6 comments)
20. 242 points, 4 submissions: TheREALjaneDominic
    
    1. Who else is sick of this? (132 points, 50 comments)
    2. Red team: 17 Hawks. Blue team: 14 Hawks. Me: Zero Hawks, first place. (87 points, 29 comments)
    3. Nightingale vs. Hawk - follow up to Friday’s debate (13 points, 14 comments)
    4. Are Hawks overrated? Here’s a simple kill by a Nightingale. (10 points, 40 comments)
21. 236 points, 5 submissions: just-a-user7
    
    1. Dude, imagine trying to cap a beacon (111 points, 22 comments)
    2. ITS THE 11TH SPIN!! (84 points, 14 comments)
    3. Ah yes ao jun and ares (19 points, 9 comments)
    4. Ah yes, thx for the help (14 points, 4 comments)
    5. Ravana bug (8 points, 6 comments)
22. 234 points, 11 submissions: War_robot_doge
    
    1. Pixonic kicking up a notch (59 points, 11 comments)
    2. What great luck 😂 (42 points, 13 comments)
    3. Who has all 4. I DO! (25 points, 17 comments)
    4. I have a brand new iPad Pro 2020 and to is this (22 points, 16 comments)
    5. Thanks PIXONIC (16 points, 21 comments)
    6. Why is RAVANA Slow AF? (14 points, 16 comments)
    7. Pixonic is kicking up to many notches now 😂 (13 points, 8 comments)
    8. Yay (13 points, 12 comments)
    9. Bruh (10 points, 6 comments)
    10. Selling my ao JUNS(what happend to bastion) (10 points, 29 comments)
23. 227 points, 2 submissions: Ronald_16
    
    1. Was watching a old Mr Beast video and found the lie of the century (146 points, 45 comments)
    2. Pixonic should remove this (81 points, 10 comments)
24. 219 points, 16 submissions: Hellogillyface
    
    1. Invader kills with ability (57 points, 18 comments)
    2. 4th Chest, wanted a Techno Scorpion :( (25 points, 10 comments)
    3. Yeah AMAZING matchmaking I had to go up against these people (20 points, 16 comments)
    4. Defense Points Calculator (14 points, 12 comments)
    5. Pixonic hypocrisy (13 points, 17 comments)
    6. Zeus (10 points, 17 comments)
    7. Arthur (9 points, 2 comments)
    8. First time gold chest failed me and what should I do with this (9 points, 11 comments)
    9. I had a dream about a new concept for events (9 points, 20 comments)
    10. Random things keep on showing up in my Hanger (9 points, 2 comments)
25. 213 points, 1 submission: Fabulous-Protection9
    
    1. Am I the only one who thinks like that? (213 points, 41 comments)
26. 211 points, 11 submissions: shivaswrath
    
    1. Jamming to music with my Sonic heavies... (37 points, 7 comments)
    2. Lucky first spin GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (34 points, 28 comments)
    3. Remastered on iOS-disaster for me, how about you guys?? (23 points, 26 comments)
    4. Nemesis Sped up In Remastered! (18 points, 16 comments)
    5. The overdrive I've been waiting for almost 5 years-MK2 club here I am! (18 points, 29 comments)
    6. War Robots 6.6 update notes-its out?? (17 points, 36 comments)
    7. Meta Nerfs...some thoughts (16 points, 47 comments)
    8. Riddle me this...does this chip suppress and damage at the same time? If no one knows I'll test and post here...(I have 4 of them now) (15 points, 11 comments)
    9. I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger with this glitch...(and then it ended 😱) (12 points, 3 comments)
    10. Uh oh, typo or whale moment? (11 points, 9 comments)
27. 203 points, 3 submissions: playoolku
    
    1. my bots just straight up took a break (119 points, 18 comments)
    2. good prizes :thumbsup: (72 points, 12 comments)
    3. ao jun is quite slow in flight (same for other dragons) (12 points, 16 comments)
28. 202 points, 15 submissions: CVTSKGO2
    
    1. FINALLY. After weeks of hard workshop grinding. (59 points, 85 comments)
    2. When you get Expensive gas but you don't have a good car (25 points, 7 comments)
    3. Superchest.exe (15 points, 32 comments)
    4. Expensive stuff on a cheap robot (13 points, 13 comments)
    5. War Robots Tier List (Feedback is welcome) (12 points, 71 comments)
    6. Anyone else? (9 points, 7 comments)
    7. By jumping and then flying on NG (9 points, 11 comments)
    8. The sky-high nightingale (9 points, 10 comments)
    9. Is Superchest progress bar linear? (8 points, 11 comments)
    10. Shikari Robot Concept (8 points, 18 comments)
29. 198 points, 7 submissions: Puzzleheaded_Ad5805
    
    1. Nightingale (59 points, 12 comments)
    2. I love my nightingale (44 points, 18 comments)
    3. Oh the anticipation. (24 points, 6 comments)
    4. Bot to go with my other post (22 points, 8 comments)
    5. The new skirmish is fun (21 points, 5 comments)
    6. My life is complete(look at the kill feed) (20 points, 18 comments)
    7. This game sometimes (look at the level) (8 points, 6 comments)
30. 197 points, 3 submissions: manuuuu2_0
    
    1. T falcon (154 points, 19 comments)
    2. Petition to make this skin for gold, i really want this skin for my fenrir and i bet im not the only one (34 points, 4 comments)
    3. Why i keep facing duo, trio and full mk2 squads with people that has 2 or 3 maxed out hawks each?anyone facing the same issue? More than half of my battles are that way. (9 points, 14 comments)
31. 181 points, 6 submissions: kAROUI_KIROV
    
    1. OHHHH now operation last long 10 days!!! Not 2 months not 1 month not 20 days... Just 10 days, sounds soon everyday we will have operation (80 points, 49 comments)
    2. Say hello to my little friend (47 points, 14 comments)
    3. Joke of the day (21 points, 10 comments)
    4. Leech leeching or Minos Retributing.... Lack of creativity (16 points, 4 comments)
    5. Remastered already on, my YangLee calamity look rusty (11 points, 12 comments)
    6. Nerf my YangLee calamity Till the bones,I'll will not remove my revenger from my hangar Legend's never die FiksoFik (6 points, 11 comments)
32. 174 points, 5 submissions: epic-drew16
    
    1. Umm I don’t think they thought that straight 🤔 (111 points, 14 comments)
    2. An average AoMing is worth $100 but they’re selling it for less than $20,But they still don’t fix it Gold economy. Why (25 points, 8 comments)
    3. Yes yes yes!!!!! (21 points, 12 comments)
    4. Umm I think I broke it. (10 points, 3 comments)
    5. Watch my latest video with an Arthur that has 100 Kph (7 points, 3 comments)
33. 166 points, 5 submissions: Golden365
    
    1. guys I won the nightingale giveaway (83 points, 22 comments)
    2. Dear Pixonic, (58 points, 42 comments)
    3. Guys go get your legendary pilots (10 points, 11 comments)
    4. What is your most 200iq play ever? (8 points, 19 comments)
    5. I won the nightingale giveaway, as some of you may have seen. Then I got techno scorpion from special delivery. So now I present to you my full meta hangar (at least on the robots part). (7 points, 11 comments)
34. 163 points, 12 submissions: flamingsphinxkitty83
    
    1. When you leave your clan and the next battle the leader is against you lol (31 points, 11 comments)
    2. My hangar be like (16 points, 16 comments)
    3. Test server bug. Fire spitting when I'm on the ground and none when I'm in the air. I tested with a few different weapons and modules to see if that had something to do with it but it still somehow happened (16 points, 4 comments)
    4. Is this a good build for a silver 1 rayker? (14 points, 38 comments)
    5. Where are his lasers? (14 points, 20 comments)
    6. Is this a good setup for a Fujjin in silver leauge? (13 points, 20 comments)
    7. NOOOOOOOO THE EVENT ENDED BEFORE I GOT MY SCORPION..... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (11 points, 49 comments)
    8. Should I ? (11 points, 40 comments)
    9. Matchmaking in a nutshell (10 points, 9 comments)
    10. Taran bug, colors are partly inverted, I don't know if anyone else has ethos bug or if it's just me. But it s weird. (10 points, 2 comments)
35. 163 points, 10 submissions: Wolfram_Blitz
    
    1. This Legendary pilot weekend has dealt me a full house... (36 points, 32 comments)
    2. Current state of the game. Thanks Sin. Y'all know how to ruin a game (34 points, 7 comments)
    3. WR Reddit Community Opinion Poll regarding "Look what I won" posts (17 points, 49 comments)
    4. 4th token crate opening strikes again (16 points, 22 comments)
    5. WR Reddit Guide: how to change your Commander flair in your Desktop Browser (14 points, 9 comments)
    6. RESULTS ARE IN: WR Reddit Community Opinion Poll regarding "Look what I won" (12 points, 23 comments)
    7. What bots have you found as a suitable replacement to load your heavy weapons onto once you take your Au Jun out of service? (10 points, 16 comments)
    8. True freedom... (9 points, 3 comments)
    9. Weekly Discussion - Free Talk Friday (8 points, 13 comments)
    10. Oct 2-5th 0 PC cost to drones AND ... Upgrade Rush Weekend (7 points, 12 comments)
36. 161 points, 1 submission: J_RUTZ
    
    1. Walking Loudspeaker Coke Vending Machine bot... (161 points, 14 comments)
37. 159 points, 7 submissions: JustHulio
    
    1. Can someone actually do another robot Height comparison? Because this looks very interesting and something to look at (92 points, 16 comments)
    2. Death fears me >:D (14 points, 7 comments)
    3. I won a Hawk pilot in a giveaway! Now I just need a Hawk xD (12 points, 6 comments)
    4. Is the best randomized Drone for now? (11 points, 13 comments)
    5. It seems that I got a weber yet I never won in the giveaway. I checked the winners many times to see if my ID is there. Well it isn't there. So this must be a mistake. Right? (10 points, 4 comments)
    6. Legendary Pilots for Fujin and Raijin (10 points, 12 comments)
    7. What's the best weapon for T-Falcon? (10 points, 20 comments)

Top Commenters

1. Shutze_owner (1707 points, 1122 comments)
2. FenchBadScienceGood (1129 points, 475 comments)
3. _Mausername_ (859 points, 397 comments)
4. boredboi69WR (696 points, 298 comments)
5. QuirkyTitle1 (653 points, 492 comments)
6. JFSoul (620 points, 221 comments)
7. 3lectrified (600 points, 220 comments)
8. Wolfram_Blitz (522 points, 190 comments)
9. manuuuu2_0 (490 points, 223 comments)
10. Terminator_WR (473 points, 193 comments)
11. buckee8 (366 points, 186 comments)
12. CVTSKGO2 (365 points, 226 comments)
13. shivaswrath (356 points, 180 comments)
14. Hellogillyface (340 points, 208 comments)
15. Quirkyserenefrenzy (296 points, 148 comments)
16. unnamedDE (295 points, 160 comments)
17. Bernard_Mulik (283 points, 177 comments)
18. Chthroop (282 points, 121 comments)
19. _Loggu_ (281 points, 40 comments)
20. HORRORCRANKY (273 points, 104 comments)
21. speedyr64 (244 points, 116 comments)
22. pegboot (237 points, 146 comments)
23. just-a-user7 (233 points, 124 comments)
24. flamingsphinxkitty83 (218 points, 136 comments)
25. sminima (216 points, 32 comments)
26. AtomBubble (212 points, 100 comments)
27. viccuvi1 (212 points, 89 comments)
28. prooggroo (211 points, 81 comments)
29. NotVeryTastyCake (195 points, 130 comments)
30. USERNAM3_N0T_F0UND (185 points, 76 comments)
31. EPIC_VIC_951 (179 points, 114 comments)
32. freda-slayvs (173 points, 65 comments)
33. stonksprofitmargin (173 points, 63 comments)
34. Zojmyvinx (171 points, 80 comments)
35. sufoalmighty (171 points, 62 comments)
36. FreezyKnight (163 points, 56 comments)
37. arielbelkin (161 points, 62 comments)
38. Kraig3000 (161 points, 44 comments)
39. _summoning_ (159 points, 90 comments)
40. Osiru_s (155 points, 66 comments)
41. WARROVOTS (152 points, 82 comments)
42. tempurpedic_titties (146 points, 63 comments)
43. HotdogLord13 (144 points, 63 comments)
44. Phos_gene (142 points, 63 comments)
45. jeb_hoge (141 points, 50 comments)
46. antiquepierack (141 points, 44 comments)
47. Quirky-Wall (136 points, 57 comments)
48. Epicfortniter49 (130 points, 64 comments)
49. UsedKoala4 (126 points, 55 comments)
50. kAROUI_KIROV (126 points, 43 comments)

Top Submissions

1. Wr remastered be like: by PIRATEBOOS (249 points, 31 comments)
2. Am I the only one who thinks like that? by Fabulous-Protection9 (213 points, 41 comments)
3. Nodens HD quality 😆 by impfurya77 (198 points, 21 comments)
4. The LEGO Pantheon Pack by Osiru_s (186 points, 29 comments)
5. The meme is about the game, not the players. by sufoalmighty (186 points, 19 comments)
6. New paintjob- "Black" Phantom by boredboi69WR (174 points, 54 comments)
7. Acoustic weapons look cool.. Even plays MJs Thriller, while firing.. by Je_On (162 points, 29 comments)
8. Walking Loudspeaker Coke Vending Machine bot... by J_RUTZ (161 points, 14 comments)
9. This is just hilarious. Pixonic's answer to "drone slots are too random" is you have to pay extra $$$ to get pre-determined slots. by deleted (159 points, 34 comments)
10. T falcon by manuuuu2_0 (154 points, 19 comments)

Top Comments

1. 60 points: _Loggu_'s comment in Why so much hate?
2. 57 points: the_never_mind's comment in The sad truth about this game
3. 51 points: FenchBadScienceGood's comment in Ao Jun nerf in 6.4: no more invisibility during takeoff and landing (Remastered is out in Russia)
4. 43 points: _Loggu_'s comment in While dolphins return to the canals of Venice, something else starts to return to War Robots........
5. 42 points: sminima's comment in Ao Jun nerf in 6.4: no more invisibility during takeoff and landing (Remastered is out in Russia)
6. 41 points: USERNAM3_N0T_F0UND's comment in While dolphins return to the canals of Venice, something else starts to return to War Robots........
7. 40 points: Aquiles_Now's comment in Why is someone with maxed mk2 in expert league and why does I (not even mk1 maxed) have to play against him?
8. 36 points: FreezyKnight's comment in Good Drone. For $100. (one hundred usd) Want to instantly lockdown/suppress/freeze someone?
9. 36 points: Wolfram_Blitz's comment in Found this gem
10. 34 points: AkiraWarRobots's comment in Regarding the movement speed issues in 6.4.x

Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats

Ep 1: Strap on your fantasy seatbelts and brace your asses for... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 2: What otherworldly horrors will the McElroys face this week? Let’s find out together... in The Adventure Zone!
Ep 3: Once again the yawning portal opens before you. Abandon all hope, ye who enter... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 4: Double, double, toil and trouble, we’re cooking up a fresh batch of danger for you this week in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 5: I’ll drink up all the potions that you’ve got on your shelf, so just let me introduce myself... it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 6: Someone flies, someone dies... Seriously, this week someone flies and someone dies. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 7: What will our heroes find on the moon? I hope it’s not aliens because I’m afraid of those. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 8: Can our heroes survive the most treacherous job interview? I see myself in five years in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 9: What if the game is real life, and everything else is just a game? Think about it, The Adventure Zone!
Ep 10: Are you not entertained? And if you are why don’t you make it rain on our ass? It’s a MaxFun Drive Adventure Zone!
Ep 11: Are you a MaxFun Drive donor or a MaxFun Drive boner? Time to make up your mind as you enter... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 12: Come on, ride the train. It’s the choo choo, and ride it. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 13: This week someone reaches their final destination... heaven. All aboard The Adventure Zone!
Ep 14: Can our heroes solve the greatest mystery of all? Love? Also murder? Let’s find out in The Adventure Zone!
Ep 15: Put on your thinking caps, gumshoes. It’s time to solve a murder in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 16: If our heroes can’t stop this runaway train then I’m going to have to find a new podcast to introduce. Is serial hiring? It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 17: I’m nearly jacked up on corn dogs and dippin dots. We’re going to the carnival this week in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 18: Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends. Come on in, it’s time to party with Garfield and friends it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 19: If you don’t like this episode you can make like a tree and leaf! I’m sorry I didn’t mean that it’s been a really rough week. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 20: Goonies never say die, but dungeon masters do! Ohhhh, it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 21: Hey everyone this is Mark, I’m filling in for the usual guy, took his family on vacation. I think they went to Dollywood. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 22: I certainly hope none of you are allergic to pickles! Because our heroes are in one... it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 23: Klaarg and our heroes are reunited. But does it feel so good? Let’s find out in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 24: Get out of my dreams and into my battle wagon! Hop in the backseat baby! It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 25: This episode’s a regular stunt spectacular! Don’t try this at home kids, unless you happen to live in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 26: I don’t have anything to say here, these stunts are giving me palpitations! It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 27: Can our heroes reach out and take a bite of that sweet checkered flag? It’s the final lap of... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 28: Who’s ready to do some character management? Cmon guys we gotta do it at some point. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 29: Where’s our campaign going next? A haunted amusement park? A haunted candy factory? I don’t know, it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 30: Does anyone have Anthony Michael Hall’s phone number? Because we’re about to encounter some weird science. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 31: Hell yes he is, elevators are sweet! Anybody who says differently can take a hike... to The Adventure Zone!
Ep 32: I hope our heroes know their long division, or else they’re going to get long divided. The robots going to cut them in half I mean. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 33: What mortal danger will our heroes not take seriously this week? Maybe they’ll make some boner jokes at some skeletons. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 34: Hey gang, I’ve got to keep my voice down because I just put the spooky kids to bed. Anyway, enjoy the episode. It’s The Adventure Zone.
Ep 35: I hope Merle’s proficient in unarmed combat... I’m sorry, I’m better than that and you should expect more from me, it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 36: Are you ready for the greatest adventure of all? By which I mean donating to MaxFun Drive? Make it rain on... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 37: Can our heroes claim victory once again against their old nemeses? I don’t know, I haven’t listened yet. Don’t spoil it for me. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 38: Aw dang, ghosts? I didn’t sign up for ghosts. Guess that’s the cost of doing business in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 39: But wait! They already killed the big skeleton king. What else could be left in this arc? Two skeletons? It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 40: What kind of nasty things do our boys get into betwixt adventures? I’m almost afraid to find out in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 41: Can our heroes recover the final three grand relics before they’re crushed by the weight of their incompetence? No, they can’t. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 42: If that old lady is some sort of spooky ghost, I’m out of here! I need a ghost-free guarantee if I’m going to stay in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 43: Okay campers, rise and shine. And don’t forget your booties because it’s cold out there today. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 44: Wow, this arc is going to wreck the boys’ KD ratio. Let’s hope they can break the cycle and escape from... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 45: I hope our boys have a very big salt shaker. I don’t actually know if salt kills worms. It’s hard to think of things to say sometimes. The Adventure Zone!
Ep 46: You’re about to see these boys on their baddest behaviour. Lend them some sugar! They are your neighbour. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 47: I hope these boys never find my journal! My live journal that is. Unless you wanna hear all about My Chemical Romance. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 48: Let me do some quick calculations. According to my math, there’s a 0% chance the boys don’t wang this one up. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 49: That’s enough dilly-dallying and pussyfooting around. These heroes are out of time. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 50: Ha! Bet you goobers didn’t see that one coming! What other tasty twists and turns await you in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 51: Hmm! What a devilish twist! What other mysteries await us down the winding path toward... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 52: What will our boys find in Wonderland? Well, this arc’s called ‘The Suffering Game’ so... nothing great. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 53: Sounds like our boys are having the ‘slime’ of their lives! I can ‘bear’ly contain my excitement! It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 54: I don’t think our boys are having much fun playing The Suffering Game. Maybe their luck’ll improve in round two. But probably not! It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 55: Fret not, dear listener. It’s always darkest before the dawn. Unless of course you’re locked in some sort of pain dungeon. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 56: What’s waiting for our heroes at the end of Wonderland? It’s not a cool-ass weed-smoking caterpillar, I’ll tell you that much. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 57: Aw dang, what a cool cuss! I think you might be doing some cussing of your own by this episode’s end. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 58: Like Chilean miners rising, our comfy casual champion has returned. What other twists await us in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 59: We’re nearly caught up now. Have you been paying attention? This next part is... well... it’s important. It’s The Adventure Zone.
Ep 60: Before the day the hunger arrived, before this... crisis. Before wonderland. Before the time-sick town and the crystal lab. Before races and trains and moon bases gauntlets. Before the beach and the sizzling and the roost. Before everything I’ve told you, there was a journey beyond imagination. Seven explorers lost their home to the same force that threatens us now. Their impossible trajectory carried them between wild, desolate, beautiful, deadly worlds, where they faced terrible hardships, and experienced immeasurable joy. They lived, and died, and loved, and... in the end, forgot. It’s time to remember. It’s time to go back to where our story truly started. Because only then can we prepare for how it ends. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 61: And so our heroes find themselves leaping from world to world, hoping each time that their next leap will be the leap home. Or something like that. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 62: Who the heck was that nerd? The intro is my job. Just watch how it’s done. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 63: I know, I know. This flashback’s been going on forever! But you might find this one illuminating... it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 64: We’re almost caught up. Do you understand yet? It’s imperative you pay attention, this isn’t just some story... it’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 65: Our heroes’ journey has been... difficult. But they’ve been lucky. I wonder what happens when that luck runs out. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 66: To understand this next part, I need you to imagine the apocalypse. Imagine it happens tomorrow, and that everyone you ever knew, every place you've ever been, every performer whose work you admired, every band who’s ever written a song that meant something to you- all of it was gone. And that you survived. Imagine that feeling of loss, imagine that guilt, the pressure it would put on you. How you would change beneath that pressure. Now imagine that apocalypse occurring annually, a hundred times over. What would you do to stop it? What would you do to protect the ones you loved, the ones who also felt that terrible weight? That is the reality of our heroes. That is what will lead them down the path to their destinies. Further from home, away from each other, into… The Adventure Zone.
Ep 67: You’re ready. Ready for the final piece of our story. Ready for the end to begin. It’s The Adventure Zone!
Ep 68: Did you see them? Did you see the lights above? It’s time to play your part in... The Adventure Zone!
Ep 69: [N/A]