Just read a fight story on here, and was reminded of one of my own. Sorry for the book.
​
I'd just come on shift late at night at the casino job i was working, and i'm on all the way to the morning. I've been awake for about 30 minutes, and it's my Friday. I'm looking at the chair at the Security desk like it's just baked me a plate of cookies and wants to give me a rub down. One guy is getting off and leaving, and the other guy i'm on with for another couple hours. He gives me the run down on the nights events so far and where things stand in the casino. He shows me a picture of a guy and tells me he was kicked out about an hour ago, and that he was highly intoxicated. I'm looking at the picture and asking if we have his name. He tells me he doesn't think so, and l start checking our system to see if someone has ID'd someone with his description at some time. The guy is about 5'8" and a stalky 160lbs. I'm asking what happened and if there's an incident report on it or if we can expect any other paperwork coming down from the top. We're discussing it, and i look up at the security monitors and guess who is coming through the front door.
"Is this the guy, coming in now?"
"Yeah. I got this."
I was glad my partner took the lead on this one. I've literally been on the clock for 2 minutes.
"Hey! You know you can't be here. We've already been over this."
"I just want a drink!" he says
He initially wanted to blow by us but my partner was able to keep him calm enough to keep him from blowing up. My partner managed to trick him into giving up his ID so we can get his name. I don't remember exactly, but i think he got him to talk about his heritage (my partner was a pacific islander and so was the person in question) saying he didn't believe him and ask what his last name was, and then telling him he had to show him his ID to get him to believe it. I think he must have handed it off to me, and i put him in our ID scanner system because i remember having his ID in front of me. My partner negotiated that he would call him a cab if he waits for it outside. The drunk guy agrees and my partner goes to call a cab, giving me a significant look that clearly said "keep an eye on this one."
I sit back down in my chair, and the guy is not leaving. And worse, he's agitating. I'm sitting there straight up ignoring him, as he just talks and talks, but he wants trouble.
"Is this all you do? You just sit here doing nothing all day. You little bitch."
All i can do is sigh. I wasn't concerned with what he was saying. I've heard it all before. My concern was with his bodily behavior. Loose, unconcerned, and dangerous. This guy is spun on something other than alcohol, and I can see where this is going, so i get up to get rid of him. I just want to settle into that rub down from the sexy security chair until i fully wake up, but i've got to get rid of this guy first.
"Come on, let's go wait for your cab, it's on the way, you're going to want to be outside when it gets here."
He comes with me.
Just inside the front door we had kind of a foyer with a couple leather seats, a leather couch, side tables, and a glass top coffee table. He stops walking with me and sits at the couch. Now, i'm not totally against him waiting for his cab there, except i know i'm going to have to babysit him if he does, and i don't want to have to do that. Especially because he's already been kicked out and isn't supposed to be on the property at all. Period. I can understand my partner wanting to resolve this whole thing peacefully and easily, but if i had taken the lead on this one, the guy is leaving, now, one way or another, and he's clearly just...not right. I want him far away.
"Hey, come on, you're not going to see your cab from in here."
"I don't need it. I'm not going anywhere. I just want a drink!"
"We can't give you anything else to drink."
After some confrontation i'm content to just leave him there and wait for my partner to finish calling the cab and then he can watch him. It's just not worth escalating. But it wasn't to be. He defiantly picked up his feet and slammed them down on the glass top coffee table. Well that's not going to do. I'm the one who has to clean that thing, and i'm not too happy to have to clean up skid marks from rubber boots.
I tell him as much and he takes his feet down. I tell him to get up and wait for his cab outside. He defiantly picks his feet back up, and slams them back down on the table. Toddlers. Drunk gamblers are nothing but toddlers. Well i'm not going to clean up broken glass, and he's messing up the table, so i grab the table, drag it from under his feet, and place it behind me.
"Stand up, it's time to go." There is just something about him. He's not right. He's fully engaged, but his mind is not all there.
He does get up. I set myself about 45 degrees and a step away from him, gesturing toward the door, giving him a clear avenue.
"Let's go! There's the door."
And then he hit me. In hindsight i should have seen it coming. I gave him every opportunity to do it. His fist struck in my lower abdomen, but it took me a second to register. I was actually happy he'd chosen this route. It simplifies things. No negotiating, no civility necessary, and no customer service needed. I have license to stick my boot up his ass and wear him like a shoe. My first reaction was to call on my boxing training, and the violence of my football and wrestling experience. Unfortunately, my training took over and i went into no injury capture mode. I guess i just don't have it in me to beat some rando senseless.
I grabbed him under-hook with my right arm and dragged him to the ground. We both go down, but i keep hold of him and pull him up, pushing him forward through the push-pull door to the atrium, where he falls down next to a water feature before the automatic doors that open up to the outside. I admit that i deliberately tried to open the push-pull doors with his face but he managed to put his hands up first. I can hear people behind me screaming and someone yelled "Oh my God! They're fighting!" I'm already on top of the guy, working him into a pretzel, instincts i guess from wrestling for a decade, when my partner comes barrelling in and dives on top, too. This gives me an opportunity to get a hold of surveillance (I think it was actually on my partners radio. Fights are hectic.) and have them get the police on the way and start getting good footage. I didn't need to, they were already on it. Turns out they were also doing a shift change at the same time we were, and were having the same conversation me and my partner were having when they saw the guy walking in.
I put the guy in a cradle (this except from on top, if that makes sense) and stood up with him. I have to tell my partner to let go of him. I walked him through the automatic doors and dropped him on the pavement. He tried to get up and scurry away, but i gave him a shove and he fell flat on the ground where i sat on top of him, my weight deliberately back on his hips so that i have control of him but also to make sure i'm not cutting off his ability to breathe. I'd learned years previously that putting weight too far forward, putting too much weight on the diaphragm, could actually suffocate someone. This is where it becomes apparent that he's spun up on something. According to surveillance, the time between him hitting me, and him hitting the pavement outside was about 25 seconds. I was too quick for him to fight back, but now he had his chance, about 10 minutes worth, while we waited for the police, but this tiny guy, about 160lbs, starts doing what amounts to pushups with me on his back, shaking to try and get me off. The veins in his neck or bulging and he's screaming. I weigh close to 300lbs. This shouldn't be possible.
I have good position over him, so it doesn't matter what kind of hulk strength he comes up with, he's not going anywhere. If he manages to out muscle me, or gain advantage by getting his hips out, i planned on slipping him into a crab ride and rolling him. (Crab ride is what i know it as. Don't know what other people call it. Legs wrapped around the outside of theirs from the rear, feet hooked inside their knees, arms under hooked from behind like a backpack, and cheek pressed into their back to protect from elbows and bashes from the back of their head) He starts kicking and throwing elbows. My partner sits on his lower legs, and i take his right arm, roll it under him, and put it in a vertical bar in the center of his back. He's not doing anything with one arm. No cuffs and no gear for this job (Stupid state laws. Which is why i had gear in my car, but that hardly helps me at this point), so i just have to hold him like this for a while.
He's done. He keeps struggle but to no avail. He starts yelling things like "let me go" and whatever, but i just told him "Nope, we're just going to sit here and wait for the police. Next time don't pick a fight with someone twice your size...and throw a better punch." I have this great visual memory of the on duty manager (not the pit boss i've talked about before) standing over us with my radio in his hands, which had fallen off in the scuffle, talking to surveillance, but not daring to get his hands dirty.
The police arrive. I think 3 cars in total but 5 guys. They come to take over. I help cuff him because i've already got one of his arms, and he resists them with the other one, but two guys wrench his other arm around and get the other cuff on. I look to the police officers for direction, but they don't really offer any, so i kind of gesture to switch out with an officer, and push both hands in the center of the guys back while i stand up to keep him from trying to base up. Once i'm up, i remove my hands and, i guess sensing freedom, he goes nuts. A couple of the cops hop on the bull ride and i step back. They search him and two guys drag him by his arms to the back of an Explorer. One of the officers comes to me and asks what happened, and i tell him. And he asks if i'm going to want to press charges. I tell him no, we just need him formally trespassed, and taken out of here. They say they're going to probably be taking him to detox anyway.
I know a lot of the officers, so we're standing around talking for a minute. The guy starts going nuts in the back of the Explorer, kicking and head banging, screaming...the whole works. They put their heads together for a minute and decide they have to go in and hog tie him. I've seen this done one of three ways. One involves a taser, a lot of paperwork, and EMT's. One involves OC spray, EMT's, one very pissed off officer whose vehicle is now contaminated, and a sizable amount of paperwork. The third involves five police officers and still more paperwork. They choose five guys and paperwork.
They line up on both sides of the back doors and open them both up. The first guys on each side dive in and try to force him out to the waiting arms of the other officers. In the struggle, he spins around and kicks one of the officers in the chest, forcing him back. Seeing a little bit of daylight, he manages to scoot around and throw himself out of the vehicle to glorious fresh air...Except he's handcuffed with his hands behind his back and does a majestic dolphin dive face first into the pavement instead.
The officers pile back on top of him and calm him down with knees on the back of his neck, back, and his legs which they have now tied up to his handcuffs. Now that the guy has officially messed himself up, they have to call EMT's, anyway, and do all the extra paperwork, i'm sure. One of the officers is standing at the guys head with no real-estate left to place his own knee. The subject hawks back and spits at him. The officer steps back and gives this exact expression and look. I recognized it instantly from this movie and laughed.
"Did he just spit on you?" one of the officers says.
"He spit at me, yeah" the other one responds.
They have to put the spit mask on him. They should have just tased him to begin with, but that's just me.
It's probably another 10 minutes for the EMT's to get there. I'm just watching all this from about 10 yards away. It's great. Customers, who have never given the littlest rabbit turd shit about me, are coming out asking if i'm alright and watching the show. It's the most concern i've ever felt working security. He's screaming at the top of his lungs "POLICE BRUTALITY! POLICE BRUTALITY!" Wish i were the surveillance guys so i could play that footage back anytime i wanted. (I'm sorry if i come off as less than empathetic) After i get my radio back i make sure the surveillance guys in the back are getting a good play by play for their video. It becomes more of a show than i can describe on here.
Eventually the EMT's get there and all the police officers help get him onto the gurney and tied down. I don't know if they gave him a sedative, or if they're aloud to do that, but i would have. I felt really bad for the EMT's. They throw him in the back of the ambulance, tied down, and take him away. Some of the officers go with them obviously, but the rest are standing around and we're just talking. My partner that night knows those guys better than me from his previous job, so they're catching up.
"Well, i've got to go start some paperwork." I tell them, dismissing myself.
"Yeah. We've got a bit to do, too."
I went back inside and did my paperwork, got and shared necessary information with surveillance, got some paperwork from them, processed some paperwork, and finished the next 7 hours of my shift and started my weekend.
I went home and went to sleep. When i woke up i looked up the guys name in the city, county, and nearby jail systems, but he didn't show up in any of them. I thought it was weird because surely he had a few charges on him (kicking a police officer in the chest, spitting at said officers for instance) now even though i declined to press any. Destruction of public property, resisting arrest, and assault on a peace officer came to mind. I guess it's possible they patched him up, put him in a drunk tank, and released him in the morning, but i thought it was unlikely. When i got back to work on my Monday i learned what happened. One of the Shift Managers knew a guy at the county detention center and told me that when they pulled the guy out of detox in the morning, he was still spun up on whatever (supposedly PCP) he took, and when they put him in front of a judge, he tried to take a lunge at him, so they chucked him back in a cell. I'm pretty sure that counts as some kind of threat to a public official. This story was corroborated by my partner who inquired with some of the officers he's friends with that dealt with him. When i got home i checked on him again, and sure enough, he was processed later on in the day i'd checked originally. Last i heard, he had out-standings in another state and they hadn't decided what to do with him yet. I never checked on him again after that, though, and have since forgotten his name.
Do yourselves a favor: don't pick a fight with someone twice your size, whose job involves getting in fights with people. All this guy had to do was leave. No police, no charges, no jail, nothing. Instead he's probably since been extradited to whatever state he had out-standings in and has an intimate relationship with a 6 foot, 9 inch (those are separate measurements) guy named Tyrone.

So here is a timeline I compiled from their twitter, YouTube, website, and Discord. I’ll be updating every now and then.
Update: It turns out that they are in a parallel universe that is in 2023 while we are in 2019. There are 508 known timelines.

Their Timeline

1799 - George Washington dies because of a cliff.
1844 - Joseph Smith, Junior, founder of the Mormon religion, is struck by a lightning bolt and dies.
1865 - Victor Dax is born - Abraham Lincoln dies because of a heart attack.
1884 - Victor Dax’s son is born
1885 - The “Event” happened
1900 - Victor Dax leaves his home and travels to London.
1901 - Victor Dax creates a cult.
1914 - Victor Dax fights in the Great War.
1937 - Victor Dax helps the deathly ill at the local hospitals.
193-something - Victor Dax suffered great injuries to his face due to a shotgun.
1937 - The Run Red Corporation (RRC) is founded
Early 1940s - Victor Dax’s son supposedly dies in an automobile accident. He is alive.
1945 - Victor Dax does USA government contracting stuff. - Victor Dax helps end World War II.
1948 - Victor Dax helps a suicide jumper down from a roof.
1950s - The iron boot was first picked up on in the early 50's but then properly funded in the late 50's.
1950 - Victor Dax cures a rare illness that blinds young children.
1952 - Victor Dax helps his supposedly last family relative (his distant cousin) ease into their last breath.
195? - Victor Dax helps create a memory blocking gas (T-S7) that helps war veterans with PTSD.
1956 - The Winter Hill Transmission Tower is constructed.
1958 - April 12 — Ivan Glaskov is born
1959 - William Frost has a attempt on his life by C.I.A agent Donald Claice.
1960 - The Del Rune casino is built. - Akira Toriyama dies.
1961 - The Russians made a Nuclear bomb that was detonated around the Siberian wilderness. The RRC worked with them to create the TRINITY bomb. The Russians called it the TSAR Bomba. RRC multiplied the weapon by 3 times. Calling it the TRINITY bomb. Victor Dax never wanted this weapon, he thought it was unethical. Frost did it behind his back. - Victor Dax helps Kennedy's presidential campaign.
1963 - Victor helps Martin Luther King in the Washington march and other racial equality issues. - The C.I.A plans to assassinate Victor Dax to prevent the progress of the RRC. - Victor Dax finds out about the TRINITY Bomb. C.I.A agent Jackson Bridge infiltrates Site 1 to destroy prototype projects and to kill Victor Dax. 4 hours after infiltration Jackson Bridge is confirmed alive but held in custody by the RRC.
1964 - RRC nearly goes bankrupt.
1967 - RRC declares peace agreement and government funding. Rejected 49 times. Peace agreement finally resolved but government funding is low.
1968 - Tension between the United States and RRC settle down.
1969 - RRC helps with the space race. - Neil Armstrong dies in training.
Early 1970s - Turrets are made.
1970 - Rumors of Victor Dax surviving the attack is spread around by ex RRC employees.
1972 - On the anniversary of Victor Dax's “death”, a metallic locket is left on his vacant grave.
1973 - A “deadly force” invaded the US Government. - The group FMR begin to retrieve large amounts of weapons for unknown reasons.
1974 - Richard Nixon is notified that Victor Dax is suspected to still be alive inside site 1. - Victor Dax recovers from a coma - 2 weeks later Victor is seen walking around the grounds of site 1 via spy plane images. 1 hour later Jackson Bridge is missing from his house. Jackson Bridge can not be found. RRC is suspected of his disappearance. - 2 months later 15 famous writers go missing. - Victor swears to destroy the United States after the betrayal of his friends and himself.
1976 - The 15 writers are suspected to be working for RRC.
1977 - Inside agents at Site 1 state that the Iron Boot project has gotten out of control.
1978 - The last time Victor Dax takes his mask off. - RRC tested T-S6 - Jimmy Carter declares that Operation Lazarus Down needs to be re initiated. 2 weeks later Victor Dax is invited to the Pentagon by JC on Live News for a world peace discussion. 1 day later Victor Dax arrives at the Pentagon. 2 hours later Victor Dax reveals a revolver and shoots Jimmy Carter in the head causing immediate death on Live television. The war starts. Operation Lazarus Down is over. The United States of America is under control by the RRC in under a month. Jackson Bridge is suspected to be held in Orwell Manor. Orwell Manor is revealed to be fake. Orwell Manor is a code name for "Death Sentence". The C.I.A. is destroyed. The underground government resistance (UGR) begins. 2 Weeks later FMR introduces themselves to the resistance. The UGR works with FMR.
1979 - Every week since this year, the gas T-S7 is released in dosages. - Victor Dax tried to recreate his blood thing by cloning himself. It didn't work. 20 dead. 5 alive. 5 in cold storage. - Washington D.C. is bombed with the TRINITY bomb. It becomes an uninhabitable wasteland.
1980s - In the 1980s China believed that they were getting "[Bleeped] over" by the R.R.C.
1980 - Dark Solutions is founded. - Mike Rivet is born.
1981 - P. Jones is employed by the RRC. He works at Dark Solutions.
1982 - Kyle Jones is born to P. Jones.
1988 - The Winter Hill Transmission Tower is decommissioned. This possibly due to loss of property.
1990s - Late 1990s: Project Nimbus begins.
1990 - June 5 — the last time Ivan Glaskov is seen.
1992 - October 31 - Kyle Jones goes missing. He was taken by the RRC.
1993 - P. Jones was fired due to "false" claims towards the company. - Dr. Ryan is reported to be staying in the housing area every night to talk to Malcolm.
1994 - October 31 - Stacy plans her Halloween night. She plans on staying with her family since they are worried about the recent events in the news. Her friend (boyfriend possibly) comes over to convince to go to Danny Moore’s house. They run into a officer who shoots at them but they lose him. Brad tells Stacy he is a part of the FMR. Stacy reports Brad to an officer. The officer shoots Brad. - Kyle Jones goes into “educational training” because of the RRC. - The last time Fredrick Gurensene is involved in a project. - George Lucas dies.
1996 - Kyle Jones goes through T-S7 testing. He has 90% resistance to it.
1997 - Victor Dax orders Frost to deactivate Malcolm as it has not been very efficient and would be cheaper and more effective if they just built a regular super computer. Procedure 10 is decided. Malcolm will revert back to default settings and its biological brain will only be used as a subsidiary CPU for basic tasks whereas a more expensive and effective CPU will be implanted to maintain the entire facility and more. It is reported that Malcolm's last words before being reverted was "Hello Samantha."
1998 - The New York riots of 1998 occur after people remember the war of the 1970s. The Run Red Corporation takes care of it.
1999 - October 15 — Henry Gesh, owner of Del Rune casino, is caught loitering outside an unknown place - James Dell is born in England
2000 - The Subject Delta experiments begin. Kyle Jones is subject Delta. They fail. - Malcolm is upgraded to a larger and more cooled housing below Sector 13. - Marylin Monroe dies.
2001 - Dr. Ryan is often late and skips work. She is suspicious and will be investigated. Malcolm will be secured away from her.
2002 - The RRC have always said they would go to Mars since this year. - Dr. Ryan breaks into Malcolm's housing late at night and attempts to upload a virus to Malcolm in order set him free. She fails. She is isolated. Next day a "new software patch" (which in reality a virus) for Malcolm has arrived onto the system. Malcolm is now 1% less efficient. Two weeks later Dr. Ryan is terminated for trying to free Malcolm and stealing staff identification. She was shot on site. Malcolm is ordered to delete her files. Malcolm transfers them to his storage hold where the files can be reviewed before deletion.
2008 - Funding for Project Nimbus ends after it ignites. The Corporation tells the public that it was a natural gas explosion.
2010 - Malcolm opens the cell doors in the psychiatric ward and over 80 inmates are released. Dr. Gasher is the only one inside this ward. A malfunction with his ID prevented him escaping. He was killed by inmates. Security footage was corrupted and could not be reviewed. - Michael David Stevens is one of the head researchers at site 1 and has been with the RRC since this year. - Poverty Globally is now at 0.2%, Lung Cancer Cured, Construction Mech Suits Increase Construction by 7000%.
2012 - Robert Pinch goes into Malcolm's housing area and locks the doors. In the time span, Malcolm convinces Pinch to kill himself. 2 minutes later he shoots himself with a firearm stolen from the security office.
2014 - Justin Bieber dies.
2015 - Mike Rivet becomes a a cameraman/runner at Local 50 News.
2016 - Victor Dax does a TED Talk. - Hilary Clinton becomes President of the United States of America.
2018 - Hilary Clinton is assassinated.
2019 - March 15 — The War of 2019 occurs. RGS was released, killing billions of people in just 1 year. - James Dell begins working for Local 50 News.
2022 - August 8 — A Category 4 storm hits Atlanta. It was called a Category 3 to calm people down. - October 2 — Richard Simmons goes missing - September 19 — Damien Brown goes “missing” - September 20 — Fredrick Brune is fired from the RRC. - December 20 — Z goes missing and the FMR goes dark. - December 25 — the survey team arrived early on the moon - December 29 — Z returns.
2024 - Harry Dunham teased new TV show in 2022 called "Predictable Chaos" which is expected to be aired in the early time of this year.
2036 - Nearox Pharmaceuticals says a vaccine will be released by this year.
2045 - Spherical Industries claim that portal transportation technology will be in public use by this year.
Uncertain if these events happened: - A bank robber was holding two hostages, one named James and one named David. The police were surrounding the building, so he ended up letting James go outside and then something/someone beat up David. The police knocked the robber out and when he woke up he was in this weird cell. Then that James called him and told some people to kill him. The room filled with blood and the robber drowned in it. - A man was at home with four family members and gas rises. Someone breaks the window and the man makes a run for the bathroom to block the gas. The family becomes insane from the gas. The dad tries to kill the man but he hides in the bathroom. He kills a brother’s friend. The man goes outside and gets killed by his girlfriend. The man then gets surgically operated on and they remove his esophagus.

Our Timeline

2018 - August 8 — The Local 50 News twitter tweets for the first time, "Good Afternoon Atlanta! First time on twitter! Don't let the thunderstorms put you down! #myfirstTweet" - August 26 * 8:41 AM EST — Technical Difficulty Send Warren is uploaded to the L50N Vimeo account. * 5:59 PM EST — FOOL hahahaha. is uploaded to the L50N Vimeo account. - August 27 — The Local 50 News YouTube channel is created. - August 30 — Esmeralda. is upload to the L50N Vimeo account. - September 15 * 10:20 AM — The David Jones twitter tweets with a video attached, "Real reason i quit my american job in nuclear power is the stupidity of my workers, especially the safety parameters on the energy output towards the city." * 11:36 AM — The David Jones twitter tweets with an image attached, "May we remember all those who lost their lives defending our freedom in the war of 2019 #Remember2019." - September 22 — The David Jones twitter tweets with a GIF attached, "SPREAD THE MESSAGE, THEY NEED TO BE STOPPED!" The words in the GIF say, "DON'T TRUST THE CORPORATION". NOTE: The L50N twitter apparently liked this tweet. - October 9 — The David Jones twitter tweets with an image attached, "Iron Giants Marching across the fields" - October 12 — The David Jones twitter tweets with an image attached, "Industrial Disease" - October 15 — The David Jones twitter tweets with a GIF attached, "They are following me after what i did. It wasn't worth it." - October 18 — The first Discord server is created. - October 31 — The Halloween broadcast is shown on Nightmind’s 2018 Candy Bowl. - November 6 — The David Jones twitter tweets with an image attached, "Washington Was A Nice Place Until They Came... Look What They Did." - November 17 — The Discord server called Reggie Burns Radio Show is created. - December 10 — The second Discord server is made.
2019 - January 6 — “Everyman” appears on the first Discord server. - February 3 — The L50N twitter replies to the question, "Hi, is there any way I can get in touch with a Dr. Kate Ryan" with this tweet: "[RESPONSE] Dr Kate Ryan has been deceased since 20## she can no longer be contacted, goodbye." - February 10 — The L50N twitter tweets with an image attached, "Technology News: Turtle Rock Industries has revealed a new research station on the moon, this will not be open to the public and will only allow TRI researchers. Currently, 40 people are stationed on the dark side of the moon researching Helium 3. What will they do next?" - February 11 — The L50N twitter tweets with an image attached, "Special Bulletin: Atlanta has lost a vital part of the family today. Today at 11:29 in the morning a subway train has been attacked by the radical terrorist group FMR causing 13 deaths and numerous casualties due to a purposeful detachment from the rails." - February 15 — The L50N twitter tweets, "Real News: We are killing a lot of people for no good reason. Are we the bad guys? Frankie persuades a lot of people these days. Your own thoughts are not your own anymore. Flush the truth, digest the medication."

Period: 364.40 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	1000	29041
Rate (per day)	2.74	79.26
Unique Redditors	424	2001
Combined Score	17134	129842

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 864 points, 128 submissions: jsakic99
   
   1. "It's ridiculous when Mike Love wears a Beach Boys hat" (70 points, 30 comments)
   2. Carolla Man, Poor Man (50 points, 48 comments)
   3. Construct The Worst Possible ACS Episode (37 points, 58 comments)
   4. ACS July-12-2019: Dana Gould (yes!) (22 points, 75 comments)
   5. Adam's Patreon (21 points, 44 comments)
   6. ACS October-21-2019: Dave Dameshek and NO GINA! (19 points, 92 comments)
   7. Adam vs. Howard Stern (19 points, 60 comments)
   8. Why Are You On This Sub? (17 points, 90 comments)
   9. ACS: November-04-2019: Matt Damon, Christian Bale, and James Mangold (16 points, 77 comments)
   10. My Ideal ACS Episode (16 points, 10 comments)
2. 487 points, 19 submissions: AGuesthouseInBangkok
   
   1. Can't afford basic necessities starter pack (69 points, 36 comments)
   2. ‘Only acceptable in an airport’ starter pack (56 points, 5 comments)
   3. White Privilege (43 points, 67 comments)
   4. Europe or North America? What Do You Reckon? (37 points, 4 comments)
   5. Spunk Shui The philosophy of setting up a room or area of the house for masturbation with the intent of not getting inadvertenly caught by friends or loved ones. Coined by Adam Carolla - Urban Dictionary (35 points, 13 comments)
   6. I don't Understand Ace's Building Talk, But I Admire His Knowledge and Skills. (33 points, 11 comments)
   7. You Gotta Factor in the Woke Points 🍅 (30 points, 8 comments)
   8. What's that noise in the background? The fucking smoke detector?? How long has it been beeping for? Three years?!?! (28 points, 3 comments)
   9. He's black, so that should give him some points with the critics. But he said that if women have a right to choose to abort a fetus, men should likewise have the option to not pay for the baby. The critics didn't like that. (27 points, 10 comments)
   10. What Can Brown Do for You? (24 points, 1 comment)
3. 393 points, 23 submissions: xmeandix
   
   1. Stop asking if the reason why carollas special didnt get picked up is his politics (44 points, 70 comments)
   2. Listening to fitzdog and Alison's podcast and she brings up carolla not liking people who disagree with him (36 points, 51 comments)
   3. The (2) other reasons why the Adam carolla show used to be good (35 points, 24 comments)
   4. Its painful listening to Gina and Bryan describing what flavors they taste in the whiskey (30 points, 37 comments)
   5. Gina fans. You actually enjoyed her improv on today's show? Please explain. Jeff Dunham episode (26 points, 83 comments)
   6. Adam: "i used to watch jimmy with a razor blade cutting audio tape and splicing it together with scotch tape" (25 points, 13 comments)
   7. Adam asks ray Romano what the dress code is for his comedy charity event. Gina's response... (24 points, 40 comments)
   8. Are we going to discuss how Adam is going to open for Jo Koy to 13k people? (19 points, 66 comments)
   9. Gina and her fucking non sequitur (19 points, 46 comments)
   10. Alison was so good that JOE ROGAN had her on his podcast. Let that sink in (15 points, 53 comments)
4. 376 points, 11 submissions: Shoot_Bald_Bryan
   
   1. When you haven't listened in a while and decide to give it another try but 2 minutes in... (101 points, 55 comments)
   2. Have you ever wanted to walk around and have people look at you like a complete moron? (45 points, 50 comments)
   3. Looks like next Reasonable Doubt Geragos will be calling in from France (42 points, 17 comments)
   4. Just came across Joy on Food Network. He's funny and has a good flow. I'm just waiting for Bobby Flay to make him play an Asian hostess. (41 points, 17 comments)
   5. Hello Adam, it's nice to be here. I'd like to take you out for an imported beer. (35 points, 17 comments)
   6. New bit for Adam to play with the few guests he's getting nowadays. (32 points, 11 comments)
   7. No they didn't record a bunch of shows the same day because Gina and Bryan had different clothes on each time. It's just the wiring of an alcoholic 54 year old man with severe mommy and daddy issues. (22 points, 28 comments)
   8. I don't hate Eat Your Feelings but Adam makes it so hard to listen too. Mmmm, mmruamm, nommm, splatter, mmmngion. It's going into the automatic slip segment along with Good Sports. (19 points, 26 comments)
   9. Good stuff. Details in the comments. (17 points, 11 comments)
   10. If you're looking for something to supplement your pods check out Do Tell Ray. Great episode to start with #27 w/Eric Stromer. (16 points, 0 comments)
5. 305 points, 10 submissions: GabeBlack
   
   1. Chuck Berry’s awkward reaction to Yoko Ono’s horrible singing (57 points, 20 comments)
   2. Police sources: New evidence suggests Jussie Smollett orchestrated attack (54 points, 57 comments)
   3. TIL: Relative to their size, leaf-blowers are among the most polluting machines ever invented. 1/3 of their fuel is released into the air unburned, as an aerosol; and the amount of pollutants released from running one for 30 minutes is equivalent to that of an F-150 driving from Texas to Alaska. (48 points, 34 comments)
   4. "Love Line", the most important, live, sexual medical radio advice comedy show ever on the planet! This is a deep archive channel of Love Line from early 90's to early 2000's featuring Dr.Drew and Adam Corolla. These episodes are impossible to find elsewhere, and are pure classic 90's radio! (1996) (41 points, 15 comments)
   5. Spot on Pete Davidson description (37 points, 23 comments)
   6. TIL Common ravens have been observed calling wolves to the site of dead animals. The wolves open the carcass, leaving the scraps more accessible to the birds. (27 points, 2 comments)
   7. Is Pete Davidson a fan of Adam Carolla? (16 points, 24 comments)
   8. The Harshest Burns That Didn’t Make It to Air - Roast of Alec Baldwin (12 points, 9 comments)
   9. An old funny skit with Shane Gillis (7 points, 9 comments)
   10. Leslie Jones exiting ‘SNL,’ Kate McKinnon back next season (6 points, 36 comments)
6. 289 points, 36 submissions: Martillo_Valentine
   
   1. Yeah, Rosen still hates Adam. (57 points, 193 comments)
   2. 12-21-18: The 2018 ACE Awards (23 points, 37 comments)
   3. The recent ‘Best Of’ episodes... (23 points, 19 comments)
   4. ACS 12-17-18: Dennis Quaid and Gordon Ramsay (14 points, 33 comments)
   5. ACS 11-27-18: Anthony Cumia (13 points, 58 comments)
   6. ACS 12-20-18: Greg Fitzsimmons and RJ Bell. (10 points, 75 comments)
   7. ACS 8-2-19: Jason Whitlock and Heather Morris (10 points, 64 comments)
   8. ACS 8-5-19: Nicholas Cage (9 points, 70 comments)
   9. ACS 9-09-19: Adam, Bryan, and Gina. (9 points, 56 comments)
   10. ACS 11-26-18: Howie Mandel and Larry Miller. (8 points, 30 comments)
7. 264 points, 14 submissions: vivajeffvegas
   
   1. Gina trying to get noticed on the podcast (65 points, 19 comments)
   2. ACE Man would concur (45 points, 5 comments)
   3. Man says emotional support alligator helps his depression and grit (32 points, 1 comment)
   4. Grit at the supermarket (20 points, 22 comments)
   5. Attack crows and guard dogs teaming up (19 points, 1 comment)
   6. Better than an emotional support pig (17 points, 18 comments)
   7. ACE probably has the same serial number for his bathroom sink (16 points, 12 comments)
   8. Attack Ravens > Attack Crows (13 points, 2 comments)
   9. More supermarket grit (11 points, 2 comments)
   10. DAG clickbait (7 points, 57 comments)
8. 237 points, 7 submissions: BlazingLadles
   
   1. DJ Khaled gets booed off the stage after 14 failed attempts to get the crowd hype. (72 points, 27 comments)
   2. So romantic (don't tell Ray) (35 points, 2 comments)
   3. Utah keeping it real yo. (Clickit or ticket alternative.) (33 points, 4 comments)
   4. Virgin Toilet Pisser vs Chad Sink Pisser (31 points, 6 comments)
   5. SA Police forced to retract gift card prize for officer who issues the most speeding fines (30 points, 4 comments)
   6. PULLSH (26 points, 7 comments)
   7. Pants on Fire: Not Even Politifact Is Buying What Gavin Newsom Is Selling on San Francisco’s Homeless Problem (10 points, 7 comments)
9. 234 points, 13 submissions: Provigilant
   
   1. 'To Catch a Predator' host Chris Hansen arrested over $13,000 in bounced checks (35 points, 23 comments)
   2. Adam Carolla sells La Cañada Flintridge property for $1.875 million (33 points, 68 comments)
   3. Adam Carolla & Jimmy Kimmel Help Send Bean Off On His Final Kevin & Bean Show (28 points, 13 comments)
   4. Carolla Sold His Other Home in La Cañada Flintridge (26 points, 68 comments)
   5. Adam has a New Champion in His War on Woke Culture (22 points, 10 comments)
   6. Pittsburgh Doctor Claims Antonio Brown Repeatedly Farted In His Face, Owes Him $11,500 He didn't even use a coffee can. (22 points, 17 comments)
   7. ‘I don’t smell!’ Meet the people who have stopped washing (21 points, 8 comments)
   8. Howard Lapides, former manager of Carolla/Pinsky/Kimmel and producer of Loveline/Man Show/Celebrity Rehab, dead at 68. (15 points, 5 comments)
   9. Even Better Than L'Brarian Booker (10 points, 4 comments)
   10. Apple's podcast charts are easy to trick, and a rotten measure of success (9 points, 3 comments)
10. 216 points, 16 submissions: VaughnFry
    
    1. Anyone Else Genuinely Enjoy Huell’s Jewels? (49 points, 24 comments)
    2. Before I Die... (32 points, 32 comments)
    3. Adam Doesn’t Understand IMDB Scores - Shocking (19 points, 16 comments)
    4. Can we talk about the scam that is PragerU? (18 points, 71 comments)
    5. Hobo Power (17 points, 26 comments)
    6. Someone Make Adam Play Crazy Taxi (15 points, 12 comments)
    7. If Adam Met You at Work (13 points, 31 comments)
    8. I told a friend to try and get on the show (10 points, 9 comments)
    9. Good Sports Lyrics (8 points, 8 comments)
    10. Did You Know Gina is Jewish? (7 points, 18 comments)

Top Commenters

1. jsakic99 (7105 points, 935 comments)
2. Shoot_Bald_Bryan (3304 points, 508 comments)
3. rare_comments (2645 points, 352 comments)
4. JohnnyRyde (2607 points, 397 comments)
5. GoBSAGo (2217 points, 517 comments)
6. ParachuteLandingFail (2176 points, 347 comments)
7. xmeandix (1866 points, 427 comments)
8. Provigilant (1820 points, 244 comments)
9. tokie_newport (1581 points, 440 comments)
10. Martillo_Valentine (1358 points, 220 comments)

Top Submissions

1. Officially Done. by elpeedub (109 points, 107 comments)
2. When you haven't listened in a while and decide to give it another try but 2 minutes in... by Shoot_Bald_Bryan (101 points, 55 comments)
3. Adam, who spent a large chunk of yesterday’s show tearing apart a Carolla Classics edit, isn’t even fucking paying Gio. The show also has ads by andrew13189 (99 points, 194 comments)
4. Fadam CaRolla by vincest331 (97 points, 18 comments)
5. "Woke" Culture vs Reality. by IanWhitethe3rd (96 points, 159 comments)
6. Rewatching Man Show... Adam looks like Seinfeld meets Sling Blade by LonrSpankster (92 points, 33 comments)
7. Saw Adam do stand up last night, at the Ice House. by Doc_McCoyXYZ (90 points, 37 comments)
8. Adam Carolla. Drawing by Stephanie. Charcoal and Chalk on Grey Paper. 8”x10”. by jluns1234 (83 points, 17 comments)
9. Adams mortal enemy by j05huaMc (82 points, 14 comments)
10. ACS & Its Advertising Overload by iamchipdouglas (81 points, 78 comments)

Top Comments

1. 121 points: Dick_donger's comment in Took a few years off, started listening again.
2. 88 points: Provigilant's comment in Carolla Man, Poor Man
3. 79 points: JesseMckaneWilson's comment in What the fuck happened to this sub?
4. 77 points: CasinoIndian's comment in Officially Done.
5. 74 points: Provigilant's comment in Adam went on a small rant about 2x4s and how they are not actually 2 inches by 4 inches, and it is to save money. As a master carpenter who likes to educate people, I am surprised he does not know why a 2x4 is actually 1.5"x3.5"
6. 74 points: aint_no_telling68's comment in This seems more like an Adam Carolla hate subreddit.
7. 71 points: nal715's comment in Wonder how Adam feels about this....
8. 70 points: MaxxFisher's comment in Anyone listen to Carolla Classics?
9. 69 points: Roryjack's comment in Stop asking if the reason why carollas special didnt get picked up is his politics
10. 68 points: 100LimeJuice's comment in Do you think Adam will ever realize?

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