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The Complete Story of the Borderlands (thus far)

Hello everyone. A few years ago I posted a complete summary of the Borderlands games up to Borderlands 3. Today I am back to update the story summary with all of the new events and lore revealed in Borderlands 3. That original post can be found here. If I missed anything or got something wrong, please comment down below so I can amend it.
Be warned there are MAJOR SPOILERS ahead for Borderlands, Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel, Borderlands 2, Tales From the Borderlands, Borderlands 3, DLC expansions, and the future of the series. Without further ado, here it is, the complete story of the Borderlands franchise!
Lore
Long ago, an ancient alien race known as the Eridians inhabited the universe. Originating from the planet of Nekrotafeyo, Their technological advancements far exceed anything the modern universe has been able to create thus far. The Eridians created Guardians, mechanical constructs, to protect their race and caches of technology, riches and weapons, known as Vaults. Powerful women imbued with supernatural powers known as Sirens begin to appear at some point. Only 7 Sirens can exist in the universe at a time, and when one dies, her unique powers are passed to another individual. Of the 7 known Siren Powers, we have seen 5 of them; Phaselock, Phaseshift, Phasewalk, Phasetrance, and Phaseleach.
At some point in their history, the Eridians encountered an immensely powerful interdimensional creature called The Destroyer. The Destroyer threatened all of creation, and in a final effort to stop it from destroying the universe, the Eridians sacrificed their race to trap the beast inside The Great Vault, a massive Vault the size of a planet. Nyriad, a Siren, completed the sealing of the Great Vault through use of a Powerful Machine on Nekrotafeyo. Following this, Nyriad, in an effort to prevent her Phaseleach powers from transferring to a new host, locked herself in the Vault on Nekrotafeyo to die. The Phaseleach powers would not be transfered to a new host upon her passing.
The Great Vault would later become known as the planet of Pandora, with her moon, Elpis serving as the Great Vault’s key. In an effort to keep the Destroyer dormant, a feeding hole was constructed through which sacrifices would be made every 200 years. A Vault Monster known as The Warrior was left behind on Pandora to protect the Great Vault, and a Vault Monster known as The Sentinel was left on Elpis to hold knowledge of the Great Vault’s purpose.
Fast forward millions of years to modern times. Humanity develops faster than light travel and begins to explore the galaxy. Typhon DeLeon, seeking a life greater than that of his turd farming parents, sets out on a universe-wide expedition to search for fame and glory. He discovers an Eridian Vault on the planet of Promethea. He sells the Vault's contents to a small company known as Atlas to fund further searches for Vaults. Typhon DeLeon would gain notoriety as the first Vault Hunter.
The riches within the Promethean Vault allow Atlas to become the largest and most powerful corporation in the galaxy. They establish their corporate headquarters on the Promethea and begin to explore and settle new worlds, one of which is Pandora. The Dahl Corporation arrives on Pandora soon after, and expands it's mining operations to the planet and her moon, while Atlas rules over its Pandoran settlements with its elite military unit, the Crimson Lance. The Corporate Wars, fought between massive corporations over resources began sometime after.
During DeLeon's travels, he meets a woman named Leda, with whom he accidentally discovers the ancestral homeworld of the Eridians, Nekrotafeyo, while making love. The couple would conceve their children within the Vault after opening it and slaying the Vault Monster within. Leda gives birth to conjoined twins, whom Typhon would separate so that they could survive, unbeknownst to the fact that they had absorbed the Phaseleach Siren powers of Nyriad. The twins were named Troy and Tyreen, and would later become known as The Calypso Twins. At some point of their childhood, Leda would be accidentally killed by Tyreen while exercising her Siren powers, resulting in Typhon becoming a stricter father. The twins would later escape from their protective father, fleeing the planet.
Pandora is bustling. Research facilities, mining stations and trade posts spring up overnight. A global network known as the ECHOnet is established, linking the planet’s populace. Little did the inhabitants of Pandora know, however, that they had settled during the planet's seven year winter. When the summer rolled around and the local fauna came out of hibernation, a nearly planet-wide exodus occurred. Those who couldn't leave took up shelter. The planet became a lawless frontier nearly overnight, with Dahl abandoning their facilities and letting loose the prisoners they had employed as slave labor. Hector, and his battalion are trapped and left in a mine on Pandora during Dahl’s exodus. Atlas abandons their the top-secret Gortys Project, which hopes to control the mysterious Vault of the Traveler, and locks away various pieces of the project across their facilities all over Pandora.
In the year 2873, 2 years before the events of the first game, Patricia Tannis, who was employed by Dahl, had uncovered fragments of a Vault Key, confirming the suspicion that a Vault was present on Pandora. The key was stolen by bandits and spread across Pandora. Speak of the Vault swept across Pandora...
Meanwhile, on Elpis, the situation was not much better. Dahl’s military force, led by Colonel Zarpedon denounced their ties to Dahl following Zarpedon’s encounter with the Vault on the moon. The military force became known as the Lost Legion and swore to protect the Vault. Extensive mining efforts by Dahl on the surface led to what is known as "The Crackening". The moon burst, opening great chasms and lava flows. The destruction of their mining facilities and the mutiny commited by Zarpedon forced Dahl to abandon Elpis. They fled the Pandora system shortly after.
With the moon under the control of a crazed military legion and Pandora, a lawless frontier, all seemed to be lost for the system, until...
Borderlands
The year is 2875. Four Vault Hunters; Roland, Mordecai, Brick and Lilith arrive at the small town of Fyrestone. Led by a mysterious ”Angel”, the Vault Hunters slowly begin clearing out local bandit populations until they encounter a bandit boss known as Sledge. Having killed Sledge, the Vault Hunters retrieve an Eridian artifact which is revealed to be part of the Vault Key. At the same time, Commandant Steele, acting Crimson Lance Commander on Pandora declares rule over the planet and demands any Eridian artifacts be turned over to the Crimson Lance.
The Vault Hunters travel to the city of New Haven, one of the largest surviving civilizations on the planet and learn about the location of Patricia Tannis. Tannis directs the Vault hunters to the next three pieces of the Vault Key, during which they encounter the Crimson Lance. Upon killing the bandit boss Flint who is believed to have the final Vault Key piece, it is revealed that Tannis had the final piece and was working with the Crimson Lance all along. Steele disables the ECHOnet and the Vault Hunters set out to the Crimson Enclave, a Crimson Lance base, to rescue Tannis.
Upon saving Tannis and reactivating the ECHOnet, Tannis sends the Vault Hunters after Steele who is attempting to open the Vault. The Vault Hunters fight through Lance and Guardians alike to reach The Vault just before Steele opens it. Upon opening the Vault, Steele is immediately killed by The Destroyer an ancient alien that was housed inside the Vault. The Vault Hunters kill the beast and return the Key to Tannis, whilst it is revealed that Angel, the guide to the Vault Hunters has been communicating to them through a Hyperion satellite the whole time.
Events Leading up to The Pre-Sequel
The opening of the first Vault triggered the release of an element called Eridium, which slowly begins popping up all over the planet of Pandora. Detecting the release of the element, the Hyperion corporation begins to move into the Pandoran system.
The Vault Hunters are summoned shortly after by an ex-Lance officer known as Athena. Athena assists the Vault Hunters in striking down an already crippled Crimson Lance and their sole surviving general, General Knoxx, driving the Lance off of Pandora for good.
Meanwhile, a Hyperion experiment that was intended to rid Pandora of Vault Hunters goes awry when a reprogrammed CL4P-TP unit, better known as a Claptrap unit sparks a revolution among Claptrap robots. Hyperion contacts the Vault Hunters and asks for help in dealing with the problem. The Claptrap revolution is shattered and the Claptrap robots are returned to normal, or at least as normal as Claptrap robots can be.
2 years pass between the events of Borderlands and Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
The Pre-Sequel
With the Crimson Lance all but defeated, Athena seeks work as a hired gun. She comes across a distress signal put out by a Hyperion engineer by the name of Jack in the year 2877 who reveals his position to be aboard a Hyperion space station known as Helios. The station is under attack by Zarpedon’s Lost Legion who hope to halt the progress of construction of the station above Pandora. Athena, as well as mercenaries Wilhelm, Aurelia Hammerlock, Timothy Lawrence (who has undergone facial reconstructive surgery to pose as Handsome Jack's doppelganger), Nisha, and Claptrap travel to Helios to rescue Jack and save the station.
The Lost Legion are repelled by the Vault Hunters, and Jack launches the crew to Elpis in search of a jamming signal which is preventing fast travel off of Helios. The crew encounters Janey Springs who helps them get to the city of Concordia, a former spaceport before The Crackening. After dispatching some scavengers, the team enters Concordia, meeting up with Roland, Lilith and Moxxi who assist them in disabling the jamming signal, allowing Jack to fast travel off of Helios.
Jack confronts the Meriff, mayor and sheriff on Concordia and kills him. He then formulates a plan to retake the station. The team head to an old Dahl factory and assemble a robot army to retake Helios. This raises concerns among Roland, Lilith and Moxxi, however they go along with Jack. Jack and the team travel to Helios with assistance from their robot army and confront Zarpedon who reveals the location of a Vault before being killed.
Elsewhere on Helios, Professor NakayamaA deranged Hyperion scientist begins working on an AI prototype which he hopes he will be able to use to cheat death and upload a patient's consciousness onto a computer.
Roland, Lilith and Moxxi turn against Jack, seeing he is going mad with power. They head after the Vault, hoping to claim it before Jack. Jack sends his crew back to Elpis in search of the Vault.
The team dispatches Eridian Guardians as they head deep into Elpis, eventually reaching the Vault Elesser, beating Roland, Lilith and Moxxi. They defeat the guardian, The Sentinel, and Jack arrives just in time to claim an artifact inside which gives him visions of a new Vault on Pandora, home to an even greater power. Lilith enters Elesser and smashes the artifact, scarring Jack and pushing him over the edge. Jack adopts the identity of Handsome Jack with a mask covering his scarred face. With the company of Hyperion in his control, he begins seeking out the Vault on Pandora.
Events Leading up to Borderlands 2
Jack, learns of a secret weapon hidden away inside of Claptrap, known as the H-Source. Jack sends his crew inside of Claptrap’s mind in order to retrieve it. The team fights throughout Claptrap’s subconscious, learning more about the robot than they could ever care to know, until finally retrieving the H-Source and returning it to Jack. Jack uses the code to destroy all Hyperion Claptrap units. He executes the Claptrap belonging to his crew and dumps him off in Windshear Waste where he is discovered by Sir Alistair Hammerlock.
Athena and Aurelia leave Jack at this time, both disgusted by his actions. Athena settles down with Elpis native Janey Springs. The couple moves to the town of Hollow Point on Pandora shortly after, and much to the chagrin of Janey, Athena continues in her mercenary ways. She almost immediately picks up a contract put out by a man named Felix, who hires her to protect his two adopted daughters.
Aurelia disappears, whilst Nisha, Wilhelm and Timothy Lawrence stay by Jack's side.
Jack’s takes over the Pandoran mining town of Lynchwood for his girlfriend Nisha. Wilhelm, Nisha and Jack attack the city of New Haven, prompting Roland, Mordecai, Lilith and Brick to defend the citizens while they evacuate. Jack kills Brick's dog, while Wilhelm nearly kills the Vault Hunters, driving them away. Wilhelm and Jack then board a train commandeered by Helena Pierce, leader of New Haven and execute her as well as the city's residents.
This loss of New Haven and his dog causes Brick to snap and murder a Hyperion informant that the Raiders had captured in order to get intel on Handsome Jack. Roland kicks Brick out of the Crimson Raiders. Mordecai isolates himself, while Roland and Lilith begin assembling an army of ex Crimson Lance soldiers under the banner of the Crimson Raiders to protect Pandora. They face initial resistance from Jack and are slowly pressed back to their headquarters in the city of Sanctuary.
Jack, utilizing Eridium to power his weaponry and having declared himself dictator of Pandora, begins sending out messages drawing new Vault Hunters to the planet in search of the Vault. Jack systematically kills off all new Vault Hunters that arrive on the planet.
3 years pass between the events of Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel and Borderlands 2.
Borderlands 2
A Vault Hunter team comprised of Axton, Maya, Salvador, Zero, Gaige and Kreig survive a train bombing and crash in Windshear Waste in the year 2880. They encounter Claptrap who leads them to Alistair Hammerlock in the small town of Liar’s Berg. All the while, Angel directs them and pledges to help defeat Jack. Hammerlock sends the Vault Hunters after clearing out local bandits, which opens the way for the Vault Hunters to travel to the city of Sanctuary. At Sanctuary, the Vault Hunters are informed that the Crimson Raider’s leader, Roland, has been captured by a bandit known as the Firehawk. The Vault Hunters confront The Firehawk, who turns out to be Lilith whose elemental Siren powers have been enhanced by the release of Eridium across the planet. Lilith sends them after another bandit tribe who has Roland, and upon freeing him, learn of a plan Roland has to defeat Jack.
The Vault Hunters attempt to recapture the Vault Key from a Hyperion train with the help of Mordecai and Tiny Tina, however they find Wilhelm, Jack’s enforcer instead. He is narrowly dispatched by the Vault Hunters, and a power core is retrieved off of him that Angel insists can be used to shield Sanctuary from Helios’s barrage of fire. The Vault Hunters return the core to the city, and upon plugging it in, the core drops Sanctuary’s shield. Helios opens fire on the city, prompting Lilith to teleport the city away.
With the city crippled, Angel begs to be forgiven, telling the Vault Hunters that Jack is using her to charge the Vault Key to open the Vault and release The Warrior, an ancient alien that will serve whoever releases it. Angel tells the team that if Jack opens the Vault he will destroy Pandora. Angel reveals where she is being held, in a Hyperion facility and urges the Vault Hunters to free her. The team, led by Roland, Mordecai and Lilith gather what they will need to assault the compound, recruiting Brick along the way. The team assault the Hyperion base and encounter Angel, who is revealed to be Jack’s Siren daughter. She tells the Vault Hunters to kill her to stop the key from being charged, and when they do, Jack kills Roland and captures Lilith in order to use her to finish charging the key. Following Angel’s death, her Siren powers are transferred to Tannis, who keeps her anointment of Siren powers a secret from the rest of the Crimson Raiders.
With Roland dead and Lilith captured, Mordecai and Brick lead the assault through the Eridium Blight to the Vault. The Vault Hunters arrive at the Vault just after Jack opens it and releases the Warrior. The Vault Hunters kill the Warrior and Jack and free Lilith. Lilith, wanting to destroy the Vault Key accidentally activates a map showing the locations of more Vaults all across the universe.
Events leading up to Tales from the Borderlands
The Vault Hunters split up, some traveling off planet to find new Vaults, others staying on Pandora, taking up mercenary work. During a game hunt with Sir Hammerlock, the Vault Hunters encounter Professor Nakayama holed up in a crashed Hyperion ship. Nakayama falls down a flight of stairs and dies. His body is recovered by traveler and collector Shade after the ship is looted by the Vault Hunters.
With Jack dead, a power vacuum is created on Helios. A Hyperion executive known as Saul Henderson takes control of the company, but he is murdered shortly after by Hugo Vasquez, who regains control of the company. At some point, Timothy Lawrence, as well as all of the other Handsome Jack doppelgangers are instructed to travel to The Handsome Jackpot, a massive casino space station, where they are trapped, facing the threat of being blown up by a injected bomb.
It is unknown how many years pass between the events of Borderlands 2 and Tales from the Borderlands.
Tales From The Borderlands
NOTE: Not all events in Tales From the Borderlands are canon. While the overarching story is canon, certain events, such as characters that died or survived or minor details may differ from playthrough to playthrough. Gearbox has not confirmed which events from the game are canon, or if certain characters died or are still alive.
In the city of Hollow Point, three con-artists, Felix and his two adopted daughters, Fiona and Sasha, set up a con involving a fake Vault Key. Fiona delivers the fake Key, built by Felix, to Sasha and her boyfriend August.
At the same time, a cybernetic enhanced Hyperion middle manager by the name of Rhys, seeking a promotion from Henderson, is shocked to find him dead, launched out of an airlock by Vasquez. Vasquez demotes Rhys to Assistant-Vice Janitor but not before letting a potential deal with a Vault Key slip. Rhys, angered by Vasquez, recruits his friends Vaughn and Yvette to interrupt the deal and get the Vault Key. They travel to Pandora where the face bandits in the town of Prosperity Junction. Yvette sends down a Loader Bot to help them. The Loader Bot flies away, dispatching the last of the bandits upon Rhys's order.
Rhys and Vaughn enter The World of Curiosities where they find the taxidermied body of Professor Nakayama. Rhys recovers a data chip off of the body before they meet Shade, who introduces them to August and Sasha, the owners of the Vault Key.
The deal goes awry when Bossanova, a dub-step loving bandit boss, and Zero, crash into the World of Curiosities in the heat of battle. The fake Vault Key is smashed and Bossanova takes the money and escapes, followed by Zero. Amidst the confusion, Rhys and Vaughn try to hijack Felix's caravan. The two are taken prisoner by Fiona, Sasha and Felix. Hoping to prevent being tossed out of the caravan, they reveal they can track the money. The two sides form a temporary alliance. Rhys, hoping to find the money, plugs the recovered data drive into his head and collapses, while Vaughn successfully tracks the money to an abandoned Atlas warehouse.
Rhys comes to and they form a plan to recover the money from Bossanova who offers it to whomever wins his death race. Zero crashes the party and kills Bossanova, and just as the crew are about to get the money, it is captured by Felix who betrays Fiona and Sasha. Depending on your choices during the game, Felix will be blown up by the rigged case, or will toss it and escape. Either way, the money is destroyed. The group begins searching the arena for something of value. Rhys stumbles into a cellar which contains rare Atlas treasure. Fiona and Rhys each obtain a mysterious artifact that, when joined together, displays a map to a Vault.
A construct of Handsome Jack appears to Rhys, threatening to kill him. Rhys, obviously startled, tells Jack that he is dead and is merely a hologram. They infer that Jack's consciousness was aboard the data drive he took from Nakayama. Meanwhile, Fiona, Sasha and Vaughn uncover the location of a secret Atlas facility which they hope will lead them to the Vault.
The team meets back up with Loader Bot, and travel to Hollow Point for repairs to the caravan. They are shot at by the moonshots on Helios, and Rhys and Vaughn are separated from Fiona and Sasha.
Rhys and Vaughn travel across the desert until they encounter Vasquez, furious at Rhys for the blown Vault Key deal. Rhys and Vaughn escape thanks to help from Jack and Loader Bot.
Fiona and Sasha arrive at Hollow Point, and with the help from Scooter, repair the caravan. The sisters are attacked by two goons whilst looking through their old home; Kroger and Finch. They escape from Kroger and Finch and run into Athena, whom they also narrowly escape from. The sisters are reunited with Rhys, Vaughn and Loader Bot, and they leave for the abandoned town of Old Haven, where the Atlas facility is located.
They discover an Atlas facility hidden underneath the town, but are ambushed by Vasquez and August. Rhys and Fiona take their artifacts and join them with a machine deep in the facility, all whilst Vaughn and Sasha are held at gunpoint. The machine connects the artifacts and releases an object known as Gortys, a large sphere. Rhys triggers the facilities security system, deploying drones. They meet up with Vaughn and Sasha amidst a firefight between August's goons and the facility's security drones, and manage to escape. Outside of the facility, the team run into a bandit boss by the name of Vallory who orchestrated the Vault Key deal. August and Vasquez emerge from the facility and are interrogated by Vallory, who kills Vasquez and demands that Fiona and Rhys hand over Gortys. Vallory attempts to execute Fiona before she is stopped by Athena, who scares off Vallory, her son August and their goons.
Rhys activates Gortys, and she reveals that she can locate and control the Vault of the Traveler, but needs a few upgrades first. Athena joins the crew as they set off for Gortys' first upgrade.
Along the way, Jack, who has been berating Rhys since revealing himself, and Rhys form a hasty alliance, although Rhys never fully trusts Jack.
The team arrives at an Atlas biodome situated far out in the tundra. They encounter an Atlas scientist named Cassius who reveals where the upgrade they are seeking is located. The team splits up, with Vaughn, Loader Bot and Gortys staying behind with Cassius, while Rhys and Sasha seek out the Atlas Security Station, and Fionna and Athena go after the upgrade.
Fionna and Athena recover the upgrade and are attacked by Vallory upon meeting back up with everyone. The group is separated once again across the facility. Rhys meets up with Sasha and Loader Bot and they attempt to rescue Gortys who is being pursued by August. Fionna, elsewhere, finds Athena fighting Brick and Mordecai, however they are both incapacitated. Vallory gathers the prisoners and tells them that they are working for her now to try and recoup her losses from the failed Vault Key deal. Athena is hauled off by Brick and Mordecai, who Vallory reveals were hired to remove her from the picture. Gortys reveals that her last upgrade is on Helios station in Jack's old office.
Back in Sanctuary, Athena recounts the events of the presequel to Lilith while being interrogated. Lilith orders her execution, but Athena is saved when a mysterious Guardian known as The Watcher tells Lilith that there is a war coming, and that they are going to need all the Vault Hunters they can get. Lilith, having already sent Gaige and Axton to Epitah in search of new Vaults, contacts them and tells them to spare the life of Aurelia, whom they found on the planet.
Fionna, Sasha, Loader Bot, Gortys, and August travel to Hollow Point to seek help from Scooter and Janey. Meanwhile, Rhys, Kroger and Finch travel back to Old Haven to recover the face of Vasquez, which Rhys says will let him digistruct a disguise to get them into the station. Vaughn is left at the biodome with Cassius. They return to Hollow point, and the team, along with Scooter, launch to Helios. Along the way, the rocket sucks up the corpse of Henderson, which requires immediate attention. Fionna and Scooter go outside to detach the rockets, but Scooter is caught and sacrifices himself to keep the mission going.
The team arrives on Helios, and Rhys, disguised as Vasquez, encounters a furious Yvette. Rhys knocks her out, out of fear of compromising the mission, while Fionna and Gortys attempt to infiltrate A Hyperion tour to gain access to Handsome Jack's office. When that plan goes awry, Jack reveals to Rhys that there is a hidden trapdoor into his office. Rhys, Fionna and Gortys meet up below Jack's office, where Rhys enters the office and retrieves the upgrade. Here, Rhys claims the deed to the Atlas corporation, which Jack has been holding onto since destroying the company. Jack convinces Rhys to sit in his chair, and either traps him and uploads himself into Helios's computer, or convinces Rhys to upload Jack of his own volition. EIther way, Jack now has control of Helios station, and tells Rhys that he is going to graft an endoskeleton into him so he’ll have a new body to control, however Rhys escapes.
Rhys encounters Yvette, who he explains to that Jack has control of the station. Yvette joins them as her and Rhys head for the reactor core while Fionna and Gortys are ordered to evacuate back to the shuttle.
Fionna and Gortys encounter August who leads them back to the shuttle, where they are betrayed by Finch and Kroger, who take Sasha, Gortys and her final upgrade.
Rhys and Yvette enter the reactor core, where Jack tries to stop them, however they successfully shut down the core, triggering a meltdown. The entire station is evacuated, and Loader Bot sacrifices himself to launch Yvette and Rhys's escape pods. Fionna escapes at this time, as does August.
With Helios falling out of the sky, the scattered crew lands in what appears to be the Eridium Blight. Rhys makes his way to Jack's shattered office, where Jack manages to jump back into Rhys. Rhys's mechanical arm is skewered on a piece of metal, and he rips it off, as well as digging his cybernetics out of his head, despite Jack's pleading. Rhys tears out his echo-eye, and either destroys the device or holds onto it. Either way, Jack is no longer a threat to Rhys or the crew.
Elsewhere, Fionna emerges from her escape pod, and begins searching for her sister. A fleeing bandit informs her that Vallory upgraded Gortys and that the Vault was opened. Fionna picks her way across the wreckage, finding Vallory shooting a rocket launcher off into the distance. She attempts to confront Vallory, but is stopped by Finch who says that her sister put up a fight. Fionna kills Finch and confronts Vallory, who says that they need to destroy Gortys (now a gigantic robot) because she is keeping the Vault monster on Pandora. Vallory is smashed and Fionna rushes over to the launcher and aims it at Gortys. Sasha appears and helps her, and the two destroy the beacon atop Gortys, which releases the Traveler..
With Gortys seemingly destroyed and their adventure over, Fionna and Sasha return to their old ways in Hollow Point, while Rhys travels back to Cassius's facility and is outfitted with new cybernetics. Fiona and Rhys receive ECHO beacons roughly a year later, which leads them to the town of Prosperity Junction, where the whole adventure started. They are both kidnapped by a mysterious Stranger, who demands they retell their entire story, from the Vault Key deal to the opening of the Vault.
They both tell their stories as they travel back toward the wreckage of Helios, where the Stranger turns them over to Kroger, in exchange for a captured bandit. Kroger threatens to kill Fiona, but is strangled to death by the Stranger. The bandit reveals himself to be Vaughn, who has adopted the leadership of the surviving Hyperion employees.
Vaughn leads Rhys and Fiona back to his home on Helios with the Stranger in tow, while explaining how Cassius helped him escape from the Atlas biodome following Vallory's ambush. Vaughn made his way to the wreck of Helios and began organizing the survivors.
Back at Helios, Rhys, Fiona and Vaughn interrogate the Stranger, who reveals himself to be Loader Bot. Loader Bot explains that he survived the crash of Helios and witnessed Fiona and Sasha destroy Gortys. Betrayed, he transferred himself into Jack's exoskeleton and formulated a plan to rebuild Gortys. He captured Rhys and Fiona to better understand what happened, but with the air cleared, Loader Bot revealed his plan. He scavenged up Gortys's parts and hopes to reactivate her, this time with proper assistance from Rhys and Fiona this time.
Vaughn shares a plan to defeat The Traveler, a massive Vault monster that has teleportation abilities. He tasks Fiona and Sasha with detonating a bomb inside the monster to cripple it, while Gortys will fight the monster into position in front of Helios's moonshot cannon.
Fiona recruits a team of people to help. Gortys is reassembled and the Vault of the Traveler appears. Gortys is adamant about fighting The Traveler again, however Rhys reassures her that this time will be different. The team forces The Traveler to teleport, at which point Fiona and Sasha jump the caravan into it with a bomb. Inside of the monster, Fiona plants the bomb, however as they make their escape, the detonator fails to work. Sasha sacrifices herself to detonate the bomb while Fiona escapes. The bomb is detonated and Gortys wrestles The Traveler in front of the moonshot, where The Traveler is blasted apart.
The team finds Sasha dead, but she is resuscitated by one of Felix's gadgets. While the team begins scavenging loot, Fiona and Rhys head toward the Vault, reminiscing about their adventure and Rhys's attraction to Sasha. They enter the Vault and head up a staircase leading to a chest. They open it together and disappear as they Vault teleports them away.
Events leading up to Borderlands 3
It is unknown what happens to Rhys, Fiona, Sasha, Vaughn, and the other Tales characters at this time. What we do know is that whatever Rhys found inside the Vault allowed him to rebuild the Atlas corporation with help of Zero. Vaughn stays on Pandora with his clan of bandits within the remains of Helios.
Colonel Hector and his Dahl Battalion escape the mine they were trapped in at some point after it was discovered by Cassius, and upon finding out Pandora is a desolate wasteland, become hellbent on creating the paradise the Dahl Corporation promised them long ago. The New Pandora military clear Vaughn’s bandit gang out of the remains of Helios and attack the Crimson Raiders’ base of Sanctuary with a toxic gas which leads to rapid growth of plant life, created by Cassius.
Lilith and the Crimson Raiders are forced to flee Sanctuary, and come across Vaughn in a bandit outpost known as The Backburner. They team up to stop Hector. The Raiders come across Cassius at the site of the collapsed mine where Hector and the New Pandoran army were trapped, and upon learning that the gas is being used for evil, Cassius agrees to help make an antidote. Hector floods the facility with gas, infecting Cassius who must be killed so that the Raiders can make an antidote. Cassius’ blood is harvested and an antidote is created. The Raiders assault Sanctuary, now overgrown with plants. Hector has ingested the gas, mutating him into a monster who consumes the Vault Key and Sanctuary. Lilith has no choice but to destroy the floating city, killing Hector and scattering the Vault Key somewhere in the Pandoran desert.
Now without a base, Ellie, sister of Scooter, is tasked with building a new base of operations for the Raiders, the Sanctuary III spaceship (don’t ask what happened to Sanctuary II)
Pandora experiences a period of (relative) peace, with the corporations gone and Hector’s New Pandoran army defeated. The Crimson Raiders mostly dissolve, with the Vault Hunters going their separate ways. Maya retires to the ancestral Siren world of Athenas to train a girl who will become a new Siren, Ava, Gaige becomes a wedding planner, Kreig secludes himself in a cave to mend his mind and conflicting personalities, and Axton and Salvador become game show hosts.
The Calypso Twins begin spreading their gospel about the Great Vault over the ECHOnet, gaining a large following. They find that the bandits and psychos of Pandora are especially susceptible to their propaganda, and the various bandit clans of the planet begin to unite under them, becoming known as The Children of the Vault. The sheer number of bandits and psychos following the Twins alarms Lilith, who begins to reunite the Crimson Raiders to fight back.
7 years pass between the events of Borderlands 2 and Borderlands 3.
Borderlands 3
It is the year 2887. Lilith sends out a distress call for new Vault Hunters, attracting FL4K, Moze, Zane and Amara, a Siren, to Pandora, where they help Lilith assault a Children of the Vault base. Lilith tasks them with finding the Pandoran Vault Key that was lost following the destruction of Sanctuary. The team encounters Vaughn, who helps them recover the Key, which directs them to the ecumenopolis of Promethea. Before they can board Sanctuary III however, Lilith’s Siren powers are leached by Tyreen in an ambush. The Children of the Vault take off to Promethea, where they believe the Great Vault is located.
The Crimson Raiders follow them to Promethea where they find the planet under siege by the Maliwan Corporation, led by Katagawa Jr.. The Raiders make contact with Rhys, now CEO of the reformed Atlas, who requests their help breaking the Siege. The Raiders travel down to the surface and successfully hold off Maliwan forces, which have allied themselves with the Children of the Vault. Rhys directs the Raiders to Athenas, where part of the Promethean Vault Key is under protection of Maya and the Sages. The Crimson Raiders travel to Athenas and repel the Maliwan assault there, claiming a piece of the Promethean Vault Key and recruiting Maya and Ava.
The Raiders rejoin the fight on Promethea and manage to recover the other pieces of the Vault Key after killing Katagawa Jr. They travel to the Promethean Vault, believing it to be the Great Vault that the Twins are seeking. Inside the Vault however, they find a Vault Monster, The Rampager, and not the Great Vault. Tyreen and Troy arrive at the Vault after the Vault Hunters kill the beast, and Tyreen leaches the Rampager’s energy, revealing their plan to absorb the powers of Vault Monsters. Maya is killed while attempting to save Ava from the Calypso Twins.
The Crimson Raiders regroup on Sanctuary III. Tannis suggests that the Raiders slay the Vault Monsters before Tyreen can leach their energy. The Crimson Raiders travel to the swamp planet of Eden-6, headquarters of the Jakobs corporation. There, they meet Wainwright Jakobs, heir to the Jakobs corporation. He informs the Vault Hunters that Alistair Hammerlock, his lover, has been captured by his sister, Aurelia, who has claimed the Jakobs corporation with help of the Children of the Vault. The Vault Hunters rescue Alistair, acquire the pieces of the Eden-6 Vault Key, and confront Aurelia in Jakob’s Manor, killing her. They open the Vault hidden beneath the manor, and kill The Graveward before Tyreen can leach the monster’s power. Infuriated, she takes Tannis captive.
The Raiders pursue the Twins back to Pandora, where they rescue Tannis from bandit bosses, Pain and Terror. It is here that Tannis reveals her Siren powers to the Raiders. Troy begins the process of opening the Great Vault, activating its Vault Key, the moon of Elpis, which begins to tear Pandora apart. The Raiders assault the Children of the Vault headquarters, and kill Troy who is leaching his power from Tyreen. Upon killing him, Troy’s Siren powers, which were in turn stolen from Maya, are passed onto Ava. Tyreen escapes before the Vault Hunters are able to kill her.
The Vault Hunters are shortly contacted by Typhon DeLeon, who summons them to Nekrotafeyo. When the Vault Hunters meet the first Vault Hunter, he explains to them that Pandora is the Great Vault, and that if Tyreen wakes the Destroyer, she will be able to leach its powers and become the most powerful Siren in existence. He points the Vault Hunters to the Machine, the massive engine that sealed the Destroyer away in Pandora long ago. With the Pandoran, Promethean, Eden-6 and Nekrotafeyo Vault Keys, the Machine can be reactivated and the Destroyer can be sealed away once again. Before the Machine can be activated however, Tyreen teleports onto the planet, disabling it and mortally wounding her father, Typhon. Typhon tells the Vault Hunters not to be the last of their kind before succumbing to his injuries.
The Vault Hunters chase Tyreen back to Pandora just as she leaches the power of the Destroyer, merging with it. The Vault Hunters fight hard and eventually defeat Tyreen the Destroyer, which returns Lilith’s Siren powers. Lilith, in an effort to stop the Great Vault from being opened and destroying Pandora, sacrifices herself, flying up to Elpis and branding the moon with the firehawk symbol. Pandora, and the universe is saved.
Events leading up to Borderlands 4(?)
Following the battle, the Moxxi and the Vault Hunters travel to the Handsome Jackpot where they find Timothy Lawrence. After Hyperion collapsed, the station fell into chaos. Jack’s former court jester, Pretty Boy has gained control of the station, and is seeking Timothy’s “winning hand” access, which would allow him to take control of the Loaderbot factory deep within the station’s bowels. The Vault Hunters defeat Pretty Boy, and Moxxi agrees to go on a date with Timothy Lawrence.
Elsewhere, on the frozen world of Xylourgos Wainwright and Hammerlock prepare their wedding, planned by Gaige. It is briefly interrupted by a fanatic cult worshipping the still beating heart of a long dead Vault Monster, but it is nothing the Vault Hunters cannot deal with.
Tannis, in an effort to study the minds of psychos, begins examining Kreig’s broken mind, and helps him come to terms with what's happened to him and Maya’s death, bringing him back into the fold.
THE END
So far...
I believe this is the most comprehensive story of the Borderlands Series so far. If I missed anything or got anything wrong, please correct me in the comments! Thanks for reading everyone!
submitted by Moldeyawsome12 to Borderlands [link] [comments]

Day-2: Cruising Memories are all we have!!!

Overview: This is my second installment of my memories of cruising. I am doing this for my own sanity and to remind everyone of our positive times in the past and what the future might bring. During these troubling times with politics and a global pandemic, focusing on something we all consider to be positive is good therapy. Add in your comments of how or what you would do on your day-two when cruising. Lets have some fun with this and leave our negativity out. Try just to have fun in our thoughts.
Disclaimer: I am retired 63, a stroke victim yet healthy now, gone on 24 cruises, and spoiled to the core. My reference to the NCL Haven™ is not meant to show what I can afford or I am better than anyone else. It is just my personal favorite experiences. Truth be told, my best cruise was my first. That was 40 years ago, in the cheapest inside cabin on the SS Norway. It was my honeymoon and it was magical. My next cruise in the end of May 2021, will be my 41st wedding anniversary on the same cruise line, now called NCL with my Adult Children. A full circle over 40 + Years.
Day 2: Cruise Memories
06:45 AM: I just can’t sleep in today, just can’t. Shower and in-suite coffee on the balcony. All you can see and hear are lovely waves. This is what I have been waiting for all year.
07:30 AM: First Breakfast in the Haven Restaurant. We start with French Press Coffee, of course. Appetizer of smoked salmon from the side fresh buffet, those danishes are calling my name though. With a huge smile, I order my favorite Breakfast, Steak & Over Easy Eggs skip the potato’s. Whole wheat toast with grape jelly. At the end, I always get one single danish. I am trying to not gain my normal 10+ lbs. from this cruise. I am quite clear in my own mind, I will fail.
09:00 AM: Explore the ship. Even after 24 cruises, going deck to deck is so much fun for me. People are just getting up. Still easy to get an elevator and no real crowds in the main walkways. Important to me to find the cigar bar for later enjoyment and there it is next to the Mojito Bar. Also, where is the slot tournament to be held at 01:00 PM, priorities folks. Where is the gym and finally where all the hot tubs on board.
10:30 AM: Gym. 30-minutes on the treadmill. Attempt to allow a bit of those food calories to get used. I know by day three, the exercise will be doomed. All I can think about is going down those huge water slides and driving the electric go carts. My hope is the lines are not to long. On my way back to my suite, I hear that wonderful sound of metal drums by the main pool. The smile begins to become a part of my day, as it always does on past cruises. Entering my suite, my family asks where I have been. I tell them and they are disappointed I did not take them with me. What I see is none of them have even gotten out of bed yet.
12:00 PM: Lunch by the Haven Pool another favorite pastime. Time for the best cheese burger on any cruise ship. No bun, of course. Really, no bun. French Fries YES, bun no? My wife orders a bottle of wine and takes half of it goes back to the room. God love that upgrade to the Premium Plus Drink Package. My wife loves ordering a bottle vs. a glass. It is a vacation isn’t it. This was her plan and I support it. She loves wine in the suite for night time balcony viewing.
01:00 PM: Slot Tournament, my entire family is entered, it is a tradition. We learned to have a few drinks first, because it is so stressful. We always play and never win. This year, my wife whom never gambles makes it to round two. We are so proud of her and consider that a victory. Since I am in the casino anyway, where is that “Buffalo Gold” machine. I feel the cash leaving my wallet forever. Why do I watch those YouTube Slot Guru’s. They are not good for my pocketbook.
02:30 PM: A littler poorer yet still happy, I get ready for my first water slide experience. Every cruise I do the same thing. I find someone whom is a afraid to do the water slide, and talk them into doing it with me. My record for number of consecutive slides is 10. The issue are those darn stairs, I am no spring chicken anymore. All the kids think I am funny because I am as excited as they are to slide. My last victim was my wife who became a huge fan.
04:00 PM: Did I hear “BINGO” or was it “Deal or No Deal”. It is like a magnet for me. The crowds, the joy of watching someone WIN. I debate myself. Do I start drinking NOW or hold off until right before dinner. Hold off today, smart move. I go back to the suite through the casino watching a older woman (that is saying a lot, I am 63) get a jackpot on the machine that took all my money earlier. Happy for her though, kind of.
05:30 PM: There are some ship snacks waiting on the table in the suite, which is always different every day. Today it is those world famous chocolate covered strawberries. Time to clean up and dress for dinner and the show. My wife as usually, is looking at the sun burn she got sitting on the deck and saying, “I think I over did it a bit.” I notice she is in a very happy mood and the bottle of wine in the room is out. I ask her when she started drinking? She smiles and tells me, 12:00 PM, at lunch. Stupid question on my part. I am the light weight in my family on drinking. However, when I get serious, I am serious. Pre-Dinner drinks on the balcony, it is so lovely.
07:00 PM: Dinner tonight is a specialty restaurant. My habit is to go to the steak place the first night. Martini shaken not stirred, slightly dirty with two blue cheese stuffed olives. Shrimp cocktail, Fresh Bread with really good butter, Blue Cheese Wedge and a Rib Eye Medium Rare Plus. I am so full, I simply can’t eat all the fully loaded potato. Maybe a few bits. I have to sit for a while and have some Coffee with Baileys. I am feeling no pain and starting to relax a bit. New York Cheese cake is the finale. “There is cheating and then there is Cheese Cake!”
09:30 PM: I know I am tired because I would usually be in bed by now. The food, drink and excitement of the day is telling my body, pass on the show. I used to listen to myself, not anymore. I will get my second wind shortly and so will you. The show which on the first night is usually a production. We always sit in the last row on the end by the door. We have seen some fantastic and not so fantastic shows. We are not expecting much. Then the music starts and it is all Latin dancing. 90-minutes has never go so quick. This show was incredible. My wife for the first time was on her feet doing a standing ovation.
11:00 PM: This is when my wife and I start to argue. She wants to party some more, I want to chill in the room. Translation, go to sleep. I know her, the moment she hits the pillow, with the sun she got that day, add the food and drink, that is all she wrote. We get to the suite, on the desk are the passes for the excursion we are taking in the morning, I love that. Never gets old. I, just want to dream again about my next day’s breakfast of Steak and Eggs. Tomorrow I add a waffle I thing. We attempt to look at the agenda for the next day however never make it more then 10-minutes before the waves put us to sleep.
Perfect second day in my book.
submitted by sthrngary02 to Cruise [link] [comments]

FortuneJack Bitcoin Casino 50 free spins no deposit bonus

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FortuneJack Casino Review
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FortuneJack Casino Review

The site is laid out fairly well with a few areas we’d like to see improvement. We did dock some points for the fact of how “heavy” the site is on Bitcoin. If you don’t have a firm understanding of Bitcoin and the exchange rates, you will have to do a lot of calculations to know how much certain limits or bonuses are. A lot of Bitcoin only sites will have some real dollar guides on the site to help you out. That being said, you can learn it all within a few minutes.
As Bitcoin grows in popularity, the number of Bitcoin casinos and online gaming sites continues to grow as well. Established in 2014 by the Nexus Group, FortuneJack can still be considered one of the newer players on the market with a lot to offer. While some sites that offer Bitcoin offer other forms of currency, FortuneJack is only a Bitcoin site. This doesn’t mean you can’t use other methods to fund your account; you’ll just need to fund them into a Bitcoin wallet and then deposit onto the site.
If you’re unfamiliar with Bitcoin, it brings a whole host of benefits and advantages not just to online gaming but to pretty much anything that you do on the internet. It allows you to protect your identity, banking details, as well as provides a cheaper and more efficient way to move money. We’ve put together this guide to Bitcoin for you if you’re interested in finding out more about how it all works.

Rating Breakdown

For a Bitcoin-only site, Fortune Jack is a pretty solid choice. The reason we docked a few points is that it is solely a Bitcoin site with no other banking options and the setup of the site is heavy in Bitcoin meaning that you won’t see anything in US dollars or Pounds or Euros. Everything is listed in Bitcoins which may be a little confusing at first if you’re new to the currency. Overall, the site was good, but not great, but does have quite a bit of room to grow.

FortuneJack Game Variety

The site has a lot of different gaming options from about nine different providers. We know how many providers they have because they strangely have their games separated by providers instead of alphabetically or by type. They had no branded games that we saw, but still a lot of great options from a lot of great providers. The quality of their non-slot casino-style games was extremely high and definitely needs to be brought to your attention. If you’re a roulette, video poker, or blackjack player, you’re really going to love this site.

FortuneJack Banking

This may be a bit more of a harsh rating due to the fact that the casino is a Bitcoin-only site, but it’s what we decided on. If we were looking at it as only filling the Bitcoin niche, it would be a 5/5, but since we’re looking at it in comparison to other sites, it would have been nice to see a lot more options on top of just the Bitcoin. The Bitcoin options seem up to par and nothing special to report there except that it looks to be good to go.

FortuneJack Bonuses

The site had quite a few welcome and deposit bonuses as well as a rake race style competition that run weekly. There was a little confusion on how much or how little you need to deposit to get the deposit bonuses, but you should be able to easily contact support and get it clarified if you need any clarification. The site also makes mention of some other bonuses including free spins but does not have any details posted. This may be an error, or they may only have these additional bonuses seasonally.

FortuneJack Customer Service

The site has a contact form and email support listed which is nice, but they did not have any form of live chat or telephone support. Without a ton of testing, it’s hard to tell if these are adequate or not. They could be great if they respond extremely quickly or could be terrible and an easy way for them to ignore you.

User Interface

As FortuneJack is probably fairly new to you (as it was to us), we wanted to take some time and dig through the site and see what they were all about. As always with our reviews, our main goal is to provide you with an accurate and brutally honest picture of what the site has to offer, the benefits, and more importantly, any problems or areas of improvement that we see need to be addressed.
We’re not here to put out a feel-good piece about every site we review. We’re here to give you an accurate count of the site from our experts and equip you to make an informed decision whether or not a site is worth your time or is a good fit for you to play at.
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First Glance

The very first thing we noticed when coming to FortuneJack is that they are very heavy on the Bitcoin. What does this mean? Well, a lot of sites will convert Bitcoins into a more standard currency when they write things on the site to make things a little easier for those new to Bitcoin to understand. FortuneJack doesn’t seem to do this and has everything written out in Bitcoins. For example, some sites (even being Bitcoin) might list their jackpot amount as $2 million, but FortuneJack has their major jackpot listed as 1855.99352835 Bitcoins. These are going to be the exact same amount, but they’re just presented differently.
Does this mean you’ll win any less if you hit the jackpot? Of course not, but it may just take an additional learning curve for you to realize the amounts of a few things. Most likely, this will involve making a few extra calculations when you first start playing at the site, but will probably be something you eventually get accustomed to.
Additionally, on our first pass through the site, we noticed the quality of all the games look to be high. We didn’t see any branded style games, but they do have a lot of games from at least nine different providers. They had a ton of slot games to choose from, and their table/card game selection did look to be higher than with most other sites in the industry. These included a lot of variations or similar games that could be a big perk if you’re picky about what you like to play.
In regards to the layout, it initially looked fairly clean and well laid out, though, after a little more digging we saw some things we think they could improve on to make navigation and finding your favorite games a bit easier. They had multiple ways to access the list of games that threw us for a loop the first time we saw it. Games are also separated by type and then by the provider. Separation by the game type is great, but to be honest with you, we have no idea what providers make our favorite games, so that sort of organization seems a bit pointless to the casual player. We’ll cover this in depth in the sections below.
FortuneJack also had no sportsbook which really isn’t a negative as sites that usually focus on one area instead of trying to be a one-stop shop do a better job in that area of focus. Again, we said usually, but at first glance, this looks like it might be the case with FortuneJack.
Overall at first glance, things look clean, and we’re fairly excited to dig deeper into everything we initially saw and hopefully some things we haven’t seen yet. We’re anticipating a fairly positive overall experience based on first glance, but you can never judge a book by its cover.

Slots

Let’s start with the positives. Game selection was huge, like considerably more games than most of the other sites we’ve taken a look at recently. The games looked to be of varying quality from the run of the mill games to some pretty sweet looking selections to choose from. We didn’t see any branded games (games named after famous shows or movies) which would have been nice and was a bit expected with so many different options.
The reasoning for so many game options is because unlike a lot of online gaming sites, FortuneJack purchased games from a ton of different providers. They had games from Endorphina, Softswiss, Igrosoft, Tomhorn, Amatic, Playson, Pragmatic Play, Microgaming, and Gameart. Now, while we’ve heard of a lot of these companies, we don’t really expect you to be too familiar with them which makes this next bit a little strange to us.
There are two separate menu locations for slots, one that opens up the options on the homepage and then one that takes you to a dedicated page with a slots header at the top. Both of these slot sections have the games organized by their creator company. While this is great if you know the exact game you are looking for and for some reason know what company created it, but for the rest of us, it doesn’t really help a whole lot.
Let’s say Cool Diamond II is one of your favorite games. If you’re like the rest of us, you would probably want to look under the alphabetical listing of games to see if that one exists on the site or use a search function to find it. Unfortunately, the only way to find it on FortuneJack is to know that the game is made by Amatic and click on their tab or sift through every single game until you locate it.
UPDATE: We completely missed this on our first several passes through the site, and that’s not a fault of our own. There is a search function on both menus to help you find the game you are looking for. On the homepage menu, it’s labeled on the right-hand side of the screen. If you click the dedicated slot games tab from the top, though, it is not labeled on that page but is just a black, gray area. The only way we found it was by clicking around on the page for a while and noticing a cursor to type popped up.
Regardless, we’d like to see a different way of organizing the games (maybe alphabetically or by style) instead of by parent company. We’d also like to see more attention drawn to the search functions, especially on the dedicated slot games tab.
One other perk we would like to mention before giving you the complete list of games offered is that all of the games at FortuneJack are available to be played for free without creating an account. This is great for testing out the different games and seeing if they have ones that you’re going to enjoy playing for real.
Here is the complete list of games offered by FortuneJack. As much as we’re annoyed by how they organized the games by the creator, we’re going to do it the same way here. That way if you see the one you like on this list, you’ll be able to locate it quickly when you go to the site. We’ve also gone ahead and alphabetized the games which they are not at FortuneJack.
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Casino Games

Immediately we saw some positives and areas for improvement for the casino section, or sections, of FortuneJack. The reason we say sections is because the organization is a little haywire with the games. Again, they have two menu locations for the games, and in both spots, they’re separated into different categories. We’ll do our best to walk you through what they have to offer.
Regarding quality, all of the games look to be of good quality with nothing glaringly bad sticking out. Their table style games did seem to be of higher quality than most other sites we’ve looked at where they always seem to gloss over them and skimp on quality. This is definitely a positive if you like playing table style casino games.

Live Dealers

This is the first casino-style game tab in the first menu from the home page. On the homepage, they are all listed together, but if you access it through the dedicated page from the very top menu, they’re separated by the provider.

Roulette

This tab was only available on the homepage menu and not on the dedicated games page. It’s important to point out that the quality of the games here looks to be a lot higher than what we’ve seen from other sites in the past including some of the industry giants.

Poker

The poker section was available on both menus except if you tried to access the game list from the dedicated page from the very top menu, you can’t see any of the games without logging in. If you use the secondary menu on the homepage a little further down, you can see all the games listed without logging in. You aren’t able to play any of them, but the options are there to at least see them and be able to judge quality as well based on the posted graphics. We were again impressed with the quality of these games especially graphically speaking.

Blackjack

As we mentioned earlier, FortuneJack has a lot of different game variations where other sites only have a few of the more mainstream versions. This is especially true in the blackjack section where they have a ton of different options of high-quality games to play. Blackjack games can be seen from the secondary menu, but there is no tab on the main menu at the top of the page that directs to dedicated pages. If you can’t tell already, we are a bit annoyed by the multiple menus with some stuff being on both and some only being on one or the other.

Provably Fair

This may be a new term to you as it was to us as well. Provably fair is a new way that casinos are actually letting you take part in the randomization and shuffling of cards. They allow you to provide some “instructions” to reshuffle the cards after they have. Basically, the casino shuffler uses random numbers to generate a random shuffle, but sometimes people worry these random numbers aren’t that random.
What provably fair allows you to do is supply your own random number either manually or automatically generated by your computer. This random number is used in the shuffling algorithm. This ensures that you are getting a completely random shuffle and it’s impossible for the casino to be cheating you. In a brick and mortar casino setting, this would be equivalent to letting you cut the cards after the dealer has shuffled.
This is an insanely simplified definition of what it is, but it should get the gist of it across. It’s basically designed for the completely untrusting who don’t trust online casinos or the third party auditors that keep them in line. Personally, we just trust the safety measures and third-party auditing, but for the skeptical ones of the bunch, this may be perfect for you.
As we’ve been talking about, there is a menu across the top that sends you to dedicated pages for some sections and then a menu further down the homepage that showcases everything on the homepage. Everything above we were doing from the homepage menu because it was much more user-friendly and showed us a lot more without the need to create an account.
Just for completeness, here are the different sections included under the Games tab from the top level menu that sends you to dedicated pages. If any of that confused you at all, you can understand our mild frustration with the layout.
It’s also worth noting that there is a Dice tab at the top menu that doesn’t take you anywhere. Maybe they are in the works of building that out or just forgot to link it somewhere.
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Banking Options

All banking on FortuneJack is done through Bitcoin. While some Bitcoin sites will offer other options, FortuneJack is keeping it simple with Bitcoin only. We weren’t able to locate any limits or restrictions but would assume there probably aren’t any due to the nature of Bitcoin. We did make sure to read through the Terms and Conditions section of the site and found nothing about limits or fees or anything like that there. We’d assume everything is a go with them, but you may want to check with support first just to be more informed.
FortuneJack will accept any Bitcoin wallet, but they have a special partnership and recommend using BitGo. Honestly, you don’t have to use this one specifically, and it’s completely up to you which wallet you use. We recommended several in the intro section of this review for you to check out.

Bonus Promotions

Welcome Bonus

FortuneJack offers a 130% welcome bonus on first-time deposits with a maximum bonus of 0.5 Bitcoins (BTC). They also had a secondary welcome bonus available that looked to only be good for larger deposits. It was 130% as well for deposits with a minimum of 0.777 BTC and a maximum bonus of 1.0 BTC.

Monthly Deposit Bonus

FortuneJack has a monthly deposit bonus of 100% up to 1 Bitcoin

Additional Bonuses

They talk about a few other bonus offerings but without a lot of details. They mention that they give away free spins but don’t really talk about how those are dispersed or how you earn them. They also mention having a loyalty program, but we couldn’t find anything about it with details. We’d highly recommend contacting support when you start playing here to make sure that they are giving you every bonus possible and that you’re taking full advantage of everything they have.

Jack’s Race

The site also has weekly leaderboard races for players to compete to win their share of 5 Bitcoins per week. Players will receive points for playing games and the more they play, the more points they will earn. The top 50 players each week will win their share of 5 Bitcoins with the top prize being 1 full Bitcoin.
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Customer Service

Customer service options at FortuneJack were ok with a slight lean towards subpar. They have a contact us form and an email list for you to reach out which is great, though, they don’t list a time frame that you should expect a response. There are no live chat options, social media, or phone numbers for you to use to get in touch with them. Maybe they have the greatest contact form and email support under the sun, but they sure aren’t advertising that if it’s the case.

Conclusion

Overall, FortuneJack is a middle of the road casino for us. The magnitude of the slot offerings and the ease of Bitcoin are huge perks as well as the quality of their casino-style games. The layout was a little annoying but not anything to make us not want to play there. We would like to see some more explanations of their VIP programs and also some more customer service options or at least guarantees of response times listed.
Banking is pretty straightforward with Bitcoin being the only option. This can be viewed as a positive or negative depending on your willingness to use Bitcoin. It does look to be a new currency that is starting to get firmly rooted with mainstream companies all over the world which is a big positive. FortuneJack does list everything in terms of Bitcoins, so you will need to have a very basic understanding of them to use the site. The guide we posted at the beginning of this review should be plenty of knowledge for you.
The bottom line is it’s a cool option for Bitcoin and a definite win for players that like a lot of slot options and quality casino-style games. For everyone else, it’s a middle of the road casino that will come down to personal preference whether you want to play there or not.
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submitted by freespinsmobile to u/freespinsmobile [link] [comments]

Achievement Tip Masterpost

LONGEVITY
Complete a Life Complete a full life
All you have to do for this one is die. You probably have it by now, but if you're super attached to your first Bitizen, you can always save your Bitlife and play somebody else wastefully or hold out until they pass.
Octogenarian See your 80th birthday Nonagenarian 90th birthday Centenarian 100th birthday Super-centarian 110th birthday Mega-centarian 120th birthday
Get on a healthy diet and garden and meditate twice a year. I like Nutrisystem. It's expensive, but I have advice for managing that below...
Strong Genes Achieve a 500-year generation Long Lineage 1000-year generation Living Legacy 5000-year generation
Never don't have kids. I like leaving everything to the youngest child and playing as them, but that won't make your kids happy with you or your heir. Your call. Either way, it helps to have a couple Bitlifes going in case you get tired of living carefully. Sometimes you're gonna want to be more reckless, you know?
WEALTH
Millionaire Become a millionaire My Second Million Achieve a net worth of $2m
Now that we have Royalty and Sports, this is a lot easier. Traditionally, if you're hot (95%+), drop out of high school and get your GED ($1k, you can do that in a couple years of dog walking/freelance gigs) and wait for a singer or actor career. If not, work hard in school and go to the gym often. Check your parents' stats and if they're generous make sure you pass your drivers test (maybe even ask if you can get a nicer one! immediately sell your car, they lose value fast) and take a martial art. It's much cheaper if they pay for it ($1K per tier in some countries) and gets you in good shape. If you're athletic, grind at a sport from middle school onwards. If you're not, try some athletic-adjacent clubs and go to the gym and for walks often. Pets count as additional walks which you can take from age 8+. When you're in good shape you can get a soccer scholarship (which can become a/)or a professional sports contract. More sports tips below, same with other careers. Basically try to get famous, not through politics. Or be hot and marry rich/have rich parents who die/be royal.
Multimillionaire Achieve a net worth of $10m Rich Net worth of $20m Super Rich Net worth of $50m Stinking Rich Net worth of $100m
Get a couple million first, then invest it in real estate. Or do ads if you're famous and it won't ruin your career. Helps to be big on social media for influence on that stuff. Fix up 1M+ houses and flip them when they've hit a value of 2 or 3 million. If you've got great karma or you're a religious figure of some kind, exorcise some mansions. You can do it all that way, or keep grinding careers.
Bitionaire Achieve a net worth of $1b
It's hard to get here from 0. Helps to leave everything to your youngest kid before you die after living a long, fruitful life. You can let your kid "take over" your assets at any time without tax now, that's the best way to do it. Then as soon as they're 18 make them famous/invest in real estate and repeat.
CAREER
Actor Become an actor
Be hot. You can drop out at 16 and get your GED for $1k (ask your parents for money or do freelance gigs for a couple of years). If you're not, go to the gym and for walks often. Pets count as additional walks which you can take from age 8+. Grind at a sport in school if you can to keep your health well and get plastic surgery at 18. Generally if your appearance stats are low it's either a nose job or liposuction that will fix it. Always go to the best plastic surgeon. Marry rich if you have to or work for a couple years if you have to, but start the career as soon as you can. Always work 5 more hours a week than required and compliment your supervisor if their coolness is high. Sleep with people in Hollywood (bosses coworkers etc). Your spouse/parent will generally be mad if you're in rude magazines, so hold off on dating unless they're cool or make them deal with it.
Airplane Pilot Become an airline captain
Grind in school and keep your mental health well. No drugs but drink if you feel like it, just make sure you can go to AA or whatever. Always work 5 more hours a week than required and compliment your supervisor if their coolness is high. If you're rich and you've inherited an airplane or you can afford lessons, take them. Go to University for a science thing that isn't biology lol. Start your Pilot Apprentice job.
At Inner Peace Work 75 years as a monk
Follow my longevity tips above and don't party or drink or do drugs. Always be honest. Meditate. Don't date.
Candywriter Work for Bitlife
Be born in Tampa, United States. Go to university for Information Systems. You'll get the achievement right away when you're hired.
CEO Become a CEO
Go to school for Finance. Get a job. Work hard every year.
Dentist Become a dentist
Go to university for biology, then dental school. Work hard every year.
Doctor Become a doctor
Go to university for biology, then medical school. Work hard every year.
Fire Chief Become a fire chief
Stay in good shape. Work hard every year.
Jack Of All Trades Have 10 careers in one life
Work at retail and food service jobs for less than a year, then go to university to get even more opportunities. Keep going for different paths.
Judge Become a judge Lawyer Become a lawyer
Go to school for english. Go to law school. Work hard every year.
Last Resort Seduce your boss to save your job
Be hot. Work fewer hours than required at your job. Make sure your supervisor is attracted to your gender and low professionalism. When your boss tries to fire you, seduce them.
People Person
Start with your less popular coworkers and work your way up. Pay attention to their stats so you know what they want. Get hard-to-get people with Bitlife Bitizenships ($5).
Combat
Armed & Dangerous Kill someone with a learned martial art move
Get to the top level of a martial art, (especially in prison) pick someone old to attack. Start a fight with them.
Midieval Attack Get attacked with a midieval weapon
Kinda chance. Just keep picking fights. You can get into a lot of fights if you're rude at nightclubs or to people on the street. Sometimes if you attack your loved ones or enemies with a weapon they'll kill you with a sword or something.
No Grasshopper Earn the top belt in a martial art
Each martial art has 10 tiers. They can cost $1k+ if you're an adult so if you've got generous parents take advantage.
Sensei San Earn the top belt in every martial art
Have health above 50% when you take a martial arts lesson. Follow above tips. Parents will probably only pay for one set of lessons, so pay for the other arts yourself as an adult. At $10k per martial art, it will probably cost you $40k-$50k.
Disease
Addicted Sustain 3 addictions at once
Play Blackjack or go to the horse races often with mid-tier mental health. Get addicted to pills or some other hard non-psychedelic drugs. Start drinking last b/c it'll kill your health. Try not to let your Bitizen get depressed or you might die, lol. All addiction is dangerous so it may take a few tries.
Bubonic Plague Contract the bubonic plague
Have low health and luck out. I got it in the UK.
Foam at the Mouth Contract rabies
Try to take home every wild animal you see. One might bite you. If you succeed, take it to the vet. If it doesn't have rabies, release it. If it does, don't treat it! Take it home and bathe it until it bites you.
Sickly Contract 10 diseases in one life
Best if you're not vaccinated, but just have mid-tier health and be really social. All afflictions count.
Successful Rehab Have rehab cured at a rehab center
Go to fancy rehab if you can afford it. Do it from your military deployment to go AWOL.
Witchcraft Get cured of a disease by the witch doctor
Eye of newt and cow tongue are iffy. Always start with health at 100. They've fixed cancer and sickle cell for me.
Entertainment
BitBoi Watch Bijuu Mike on YouTube BTS ARMY Go to a BTS concert
Keep asking friends to watch YouTube/go to concerts every year until you get those options.
Movie Junkie Go to 5 movies in one life Moviegoer Go to a movie
Go to the movies every year. It's good for your relationship if you go with somebody.
Fame
Brightest Star Achieve maximum fame
Actor, model, writer, athlete career path. Keep doing every bonus thing (talk shows, books, pose nude, commercials) and verify on social media.
Centerfold Pose for Wank magazine
Agree to pose nude every time until you get it. I think this one has women mostly but I can't remember.
Endorser Get paid $2m for a commercial
Easy if you're a high paid actor or model doing an international commercial.
K-Pop Become a famous Korean singer
See my wealth advice. Follow it with the "background singer" career and start in Korea.
Fertility
DNA Donor Make 25 sperm donations in one life
This one is hard b/c you can only do it once a year and only until a certain age. So start at 18 and don't stop. I think you have to be American. Maybe UK and Canada too? Not legal everywhere. Try not to miss a year.
Fabulously Fertile Have 10 children in one life Fertile Myrtle Mother 25 children in one life
Meditate every year. Start at 18. You have to be cis. Eat healthy and exercise. Get boyfriends and have unprotected sex with them so you don't get STDs. You can be a mother up until like 51 if you're healthy and lucky. Keep having sex until you get pregnant.
Smart Seed Get artificially inseminated with lawyer sperm
Start at 18. You have to be cis. Be fertile (tips above). Keep pulling up the option to get artificially inseminated until a lawyer comes up. Don't listen to your partner if they don't want you to do it LOL.
Super Sperm Have 100 children in one life
Be a cis dude. Meditate. Be handsome. Have a million girlfriends. Use the dating app to keep dating young women. Don't abandon any kids but leave girlfriends as soon as they're pregnant. Hire every surrogate that will take you if it's legal. Sue them for the max ($200k) if they bail (not miscarry).
Three's Company Have triplets
Sometimes this happens if you're a dude with luck or while you're doing Super Sperm. Sometimes if you're a woman it's luck too or when you do IVF with your partner's sperm or other artificial insemination.
Military
Career Military Serve your full career in the military
Tips for staying alive below. Retire as soon as you can.
General Achieve the rank of general in the military
Be a good Army person. Grind at work like 5x a year. Keep in shape. Be nice to your seargeant.
Admiral Reach the rank of admiral in the military
Be a good Navy person. Grind at work like 5x a year. Keep in shape. Be nice to your seargeant.
Absent Without Leave Go AWOL in the military
Be deployed with an addiction and check into rehab. Whoops.
Excavator Clear 10 minefields
Be deployed, and use a minesweeper solver to not die if you suck at minesweeper.
Pet
Adopt Don't Shop Rescue every pet in the shelter
You gotta have a few houses. Then you're good. You gotta do it all in one year so have like a lot of houses. Like 5 at least. Tips for getting rich above.
Horsing Around Own 50 horses in one life
You gotta have a bunch of ranches. Buy a few horses a year. Tips for getting rich above.
Just Keep Swimming Buy a goldfish and release it.
You can do this one as a kid too if your parent gets you a goldfish.
Natural Selection Rescue every pet in the shelter
This one took forever. Just keep buying dangerous exotic pets and rescuing every dangerous animal you see. It's luck.
No Probllama Buy a Llama
Buy a ranch in Afghanistan. Go pet shopping.
Prison
Aftermath Escape prison in a riot Instigator Prison riot
Get good at Snake. Keep rioting. Works best in low security. Takes a couple tries, kind of luck.
Behind Bars Spend 50 years in prison True Lifer 75 years in prison
Do a murder in a country without the death penalty (Canada). Murder with full health at 18. Get a prison job. Meditate and work out every year. Keep your head down. Try half-heartedly to escape every once in a while so you don't accidentally get parole or something. But if you get out you can always go back. Rob a bank or something. But keep your health and behaviour up in case you get sick and need to go to the infirmary.
Gangsta Join a prison gang
Go to a medium or higher security prison.
Inmating Get a lover pregnant on a conjugal visit
Be a cis man with high fertility. Have a good relationship (80%+) with an 18 year old cis woman. Make sure she isn't on birth control. Do a small crime, get a prison job, and meditate. Request a conjugal visit.
Justice Get freed from prison by appeal
Be rich. Wait a couple years after you're sentenced for something non-violent.
Mercy Me Get granted clemency
Be a nun or a monk for 50+ years. Don't retire. Do a murder. Get a prison job. Meditate, work out, go to the library, and write letters to home. You won't know until the year you're scheduled to die, so hold on.
Midnight Express Get sentenced to Turkish prison
Be born in Turkey. Do a crime.
Theseus Escape a supermax prison
There are a ton of Bitlife prison guides. Do a murder and escape from death row.
Royalty
Executioner Execute 5 people
Be king. Or queen. Top dog, either way. It helps to have enemies or friends to make enemies.
Markle Marry into the royal family
Be a commoner in a country with royals. Be cute. Go on lots of dates. It'll pop up and be part of their name. They could be a viscount or whatever, no member of the royal family is too far removed.
Monarch Become a monarch
Start as prince or princess and inherit the throne.
Napoleon Get exiled to a distant land
Keep executing people. And do a bunch of disservice.
Reign Over Us Reign as monarch for 100 years
In a country where Prince/Princess is top monarch or where your king/queen parents are low health/dying, keep your health up until you're a super-centarian (see above).
Sports
Canton Get inducted into the football hall of fame
Be a great football player. Be famous. Play as long as you can. Keep being famous after football as long as you can. I stopped being famous at 40 and got inducted at 60.
Christiano Win the Ballon d'Or
Be a European soccer player. Keep winning championships (see below).
Full Ride Win an athletic scholarship
Start playing sports in middle school. Become captain of at least one team with a pro league.
Giggsy Win 13 career championships
You can train each stat up twice in a turn if you trade teams, but you'll lose respect, so pick your moments. Grind your whole life. Keep going to the gym. Trade teams when you guys start losing. Stay on top.
Hooker Yell at a leopard
Try out for professional rugby with high athletic stats. Choose Hooker as your position.
Lance Win a championship while doping
It's safest to dope the year after a drug test. Try it for your second or third championship.
Real Estate
House Hunter Make $2m from flipping a house
Buy a $2m house. Leave it to your kid. Sell it. See above.
Mansion Party Throw a party in a mansion Real Estate Mogul Purchase real estate worth $10m combined Trailer Party Party in a trailer
Pretty straight forward. If you're broke start with the trailer party. Then buy mansions. Advice for getting rich above.
School
Brothers Forever Get hired by a frat brother
Be a jock. See sports advice above. When you're in two sports at university, compliment the jocks' leader. Be good looking (plastic surgery if needed, see above) and google the answer to the question if you need it. Google high-level frats and pick one. Then when you get hired after school one of them might hire you!
Earning that A Seduce your teacher
Be really attractive and compliment your teachers who are attracted to people of your gender. Take the opportunity to sleep with them if it arises.
Naughty Child Get expelled from school
Be rude as hell to the principal/headmastedean
Swimming Star
Start swimming as young as you can and stay in shape. "Work harder" every year.
Social Media
Social Media Join social media Social Media Sharer Post Social Media Oversharer Post 5 times Social Media Star Get a million followers Check! Get verified
Join all social media platforms at 13. Be pretty and keep posting. Follow above advice to get famous in any public career to get more followers. Start with Instagram for verification around 100k. By the time you're a lead actosupermodel/etc you'll have 1m followers.
Vehicle
Antiqued Keep a car running for 200 years.
Buy a brand new car. Do maintenance twice a year. Pass it on to your kid (18+) and repeat.
Car collector Assemble a car collection worth $1m Lambo Buy a Lamborghini
Buy a lambo and a bunch of other fancy cars. Who cares. See advice above for money.
Not The Yellow One Buy a submarine
You need $5b for this to show up reliably.
Titanic Trouble Run into trouble on a yacht
Have a shitty yacht or shitty luck. Go for a bunch of rides.
Animal
Animal Rescue Rescue an animal
Helps to have 100% smarts. Read childrens books so you don't have to tap too many pages. It'll only take two or three.
Deaf Leapord Yell at a leopard
Buy a leopard from the exotic animals dealer and yell at it when it misbehaves.
Gorilla and the Fist Get decapitated by a gorilla
I had to buy so many gorillas from the exotic animals dealer to get one crazy enough to decapitate me. Just keep bathing it and letting it attack you every year until it kills you.
Unicorn Find a unicorn
Go for like 10 walks a year. Have good karma.
Hungry Hippo !!! NEEDED !!!
Apparently Egypt is good for this.
Lion Tamer !!! NEEDED !!!
Apparently Kenya is good for this.
Crime
Balcony Buccaneer Steal 100 packages in one life
It's a lot easier to avoid punishment by wielding your title if you're a monarch. This one took me ages as a civiliian.
Burglar Burgle 25 homes in one life
Play Snake well
Cold Killer Kill 10 people in one life Serial Killer Kill 25 people
Start with random homeless people. If you're a royal exert your title to avoid punishment. Keep buying your way out of prison as long as you can. Then start killing other prisoners, start with the oldest and work your way down to the strongest ones. Work out and meditate every year. Pay guards for protection if you can but you probably won't be fucked with if you keep strong and murderous.
Dillinger Rob 5 banks in one life
If you're royal you'll get away with it. Make sure you have a getaway car either way. Clown mask/closest equivalent and handgun/closest equivalent work best.
Scare to Death Scare someone to death
Do a murder but pick scare to death. Works best if they're old.
Bugatti Bandit !!! NEEDED !!!
Going Anywhere !!! NEEDED !!!
LOVE
Black Widow Widow 5 husbands in one life
Start using the dating app when you're 18 and go for old guys. Best if they don't have kids and if they're rich. Propose after you fuck when your relationship is at 100%. I like to be on birth control for this.
Golden Anniversary Be in a marriage for 50 years Diamond Anniversary Marriage for 75 years
Keep seeing movies together and fucking and complimenting each other. Cute as hell. Just marry young and try to both stay alive.
Fake It Propose successfully with a fake ring
Works best if you're rich and they love you and they're dumb.
Family Planner Convince a lover to go off birth control
Be a cis man. Be in a strong relationship with a cis woman. Ask her to go off birth control. Easiest if you're married to her.
Maiden Named Marry a man who takes your last name
Marry a man and don't change your last name. Kind of a luck thing. Make sure your relationship is strong.
Multigamist Get married 10 times in one life
Pre-nups and widowing make this easier but do you. Love them and leave them. If you're a young guy it's really easy to get older women to agree to marry you.
Stud Have 100 lovers in a single life
Hook up like crazy. Date all you can and fuck all of them. Use protection so you can stay alive.
Wedding Planner Agree to an arranged marriage
I did this in India as a woman with wealthy, religious parents.
Bejeweled !!! NEEDED !!!
General
All Along Have a parent who comes out of the closet
Could be luck. Or you can cheat it with a Bitizenship by making both parents gay and unreligious.
Begone Exorcise your own ghost
Be an exorcist. Buy a haunted house. Do what you do best.
Booty Call Have a successful Brazillian butt lift
Be healthy and have good karma. Use the best doctor. Cross your fingers. They still only work 1/3 of the time.
Cliff Diver Go cliff diving Hero Save someone's life Player Perks Accept a casino's hospitality offer Snake Snack Eat a snake ZAP! Get struck by lightning
Random event
Dignified Donor Donate a 1m+ heirloom to charity
Get your heirloom every day. Appraise it. Donate the first $1m+ one you get.
Flamin' Hot Survive 60 years on a Hot Cheetos diet
Get liposuction every couple of years and work out and walk a lot. Have no other conditions. Do your best. Get pets for more walks. Garden. Try to survive. Start at 18.
Flee the Country Emigrate to escape justice
Escape prison and emigrate
Frankenstein Survive 5 botched plastic surgeries
Keep going to the bad doctor. Go for risky procedures like butt lifts. Space them out to get your health back up.
Goat Grabber Join a goat grabbing team
Be athletic and join a goat grabbing team at school in Afghanistan
Human Dictionary Read the dictionary
So much tapping. But eventually it will show up in your books. Be strong.
Hyperthymesia Score 20 sequences on the memory test
The worst part of Bitlife. I did this one by writing 1,2,3 or 4 on a piece of paper according to which # square lit up with my right hand and doing the puzzle on my phone with my left hand. Still took like 5 tries and was really frustrating. Take breaks and come back with a clear head.
Jackpot Win the lottery jackpot
Keep your karma high and buy 10 tickets 5 times a year. You'll get it eventually.
Lowroller Get refused entry to a casino
Bet more money than you have on Blackjack. Once you're out of prison, try to come back. They'll turn you away.
Nightmare Wake up from a nightmare
As a pilot, buy a terrible plane. When it crashes, accept your doom. You might wake up.
Paranightmare Contract PTSD after a paranormal experience
Try to have bad mental and good physical health (a hard balance. Try gardening, dieting, and fighting with friends or loved ones) and then try to exorcise stubborn ghosts.
Perfection Achieve perfect stats
Pretty easy. Work out, get plastic surgery (lipo or nose job to start) and go for walks, read children's books (3 should get you to 100%) and go to the movies or on vacation.
Rich Justice Win a $1m+ lawsuit
Get fired from a really high paying job like CEO and win your lawsuit.
Run Bitizen! Win a bet on Bitizen There's Always Canada Emigrate to Canada Winnipeg, Eh? Visit Winnipeg
Wait until it pops up as an option
Say Goodbye To Hollywood Get deported from the United States
Move to the U.S. without permission. Get caught doing a minor crime.
Skeezy Get called "skeezy"
Be an asshole at nightclubs and in the streets. Fight with your friends and coworkers, insult them and start rumours.
Sweepstakes Win the sweepstakes
Set it up on a day where you'll be by your phone. Sign up every time you can.
Try & Stop Me Violate a restraining order
Stalk your ex. Do it again after they file a restraining order.
Ultimate Betrayal Your spouse leaves you following a gender reassignment
Have a terrible relationship with your heterosexual spouse. Get gender reassignment surgery.
Unethical Bribe a college official
Be rich and have dumb kids.
Roswell !!! NEEDED !!!
Sacrilege !!! NEEDED !!!

submitted by 69plasticflowers to BitLifeApp [link] [comments]

How to earn all Ribbons in BitLife in a realistic ways! (2020)

UPDATED LAST JULY 11, 2020
Hello guys! Now since I've got all ribbons last April since I first played last July 19, 2019! I loved how to do it. For now I'll show you here's how to get all the ribbons in a realistic ways:
For the Prison Escape guide, see here.
For the Careers and Jobs guide, see here.
submitted by amielicious_time to BitLifeApp [link] [comments]

Summer 2019 funny dialogues compilation (Part 1)

Hi all :) In these posts I’ll be sharing some of the fun bits of dialogues from the Swimsuit Swordsmasters summer event. They are mostly short and fun exchanges between the characters that you can enjoy reading along with the summaries of the chapters that you can find down here.
Here are the summaries of the Las Vegas summer event from last year, done by various good souls. With the exception of the translations by pplovesk and shinyklefkey , most of these were summarized by Itqan Madani on their Facebook. They used to be posted on reddit by kakarot12310 but since the posts have been removed for some reason I'll link directly to Itqan Madani instead.
Main chapter summary part 1
Main chapter summary part 2
Main chapter summary part 3
Main chapter summary part 4
Main chapter summary part 5
Main chapter summary part 6
Main chapter summary part 7
Main chapter summary part 8
Main chapter summary part 9, and part 10. Alternative summary with additional tidbits by pplovesk.
Main chapter summary part 11 alternative summary with additional translation of the final boss’ dialogues and fun tidbits by pplovesk.
Extra: Drive in Las Vegas
Extra: Fun Jet Tennen Rishin-ryū
Extra: Losers’ Lullaby
Extra: Gambling Saint
Extra: Playing With The Weather (featuring QSH and Iskandar) by shinyklefkey.
The new Chaldea Director's first swimsuit event:
Goldolf: “I heard you need permission for leyshift so I came to see. What exactly is this? Swimsuit? Swordsmasters? Don’t do pranks more than twice a month. Or has the Japanese heat wave got to you that badly? Ah well, I do understand the wish for a summer vacation. A commander’s job is to ensure the subordinates’ welfare. No benefits, no labor, right? However, however, you see...”
“AREN’T WE! IN AN EMERGENCY! SITUATION! RIGHT NOW!? Hasn’t the surface been wiped blank! Where are you gonna find a beach, let alone walking around in swimsuits?! Do you understand!? We ain’t gonna have a summer of our dream where we mess around in some five star resort, are we!”
Gudao: “Got it.”
Gol: “LIKE HELL YOU DID. YOU GOT NOTHING! Can’t have Swimsuit Swordsmasters if you don’t leyshift to America, how the hell am I supposed to swallow that ludicrousness!? I’m not swallowing that! You’re lucky I haven’t questioned your sanity!”
Vinci: “Now now commander, calm down. There there~”
Gol: “Telling me to calm down is one thing but stop patting my belly already...”
Vinci: “C’mon, haven’t things been like that always? As long as there is a wish to a Holy Grail-equivalent of magical resource, a singularity can emerge. It juuuust happens to be Swimsuit Swordsmasters in America this time. What’s so strange about that?
Gol: “...
... hey, am I that guy? Am I the crazy one here?”
Holmes: “Ha. Ha. Ha. Well then Commander, you will grant permission, won’t you?”
Gol: “Why can you smile with such a straight face... SCARY! YOUR SMILE IS SCARING ME!”
Upon arriving at Las Vegas:
Siegfried: “This city is false. Everything here is formed from the battle of the Swordsmasters. This city is not unlike a battlefield itself. I feel the call of battle rousing my blood. It’s not within myself, but this Heroic Outfit is speaking to me”
Hoku: “(this guy is so cool! I wanna imitate him...) y-yeah, I also feel excited. It’s not me. It’s the swords speaking to me.”
Sieg: “I see, you too are burdened by the whispers of the swords. Must be painful.”
Hoku: “(No good, too cool! I might be taken away if I let my guard down! No, I can’t let this get to me yet! I still need to become the best swimsuit swordsmaster! I’ll defeat anyone, ancestors, please watch over me!)”
Mashu: “why is she all silent now...”
Sieg: “she’s facing her destiny. Let us treat her gently.”
Mashu: “r-right.” Gudao: “destiny...”
Sieg: “that’s right, destiny.” Hoku: (tremble furiously!)
Sieg: I understand. Her trembling stance is what the orientals call the battle trance! Hoku: (this man, how much more is he going to make me shaken!?)
Hoku: Hehe. (playing cool) Sieg: What a fearless smile. As expected, donning four swords is naught a matter to you.
Hoku: (blush more furiously!) Sieg: Oh, she’s in a battle trance again...
“The sunlight, the tan, the wet skin, the cute little boys! Summer is the best!!!”
(Musashi, being an open onee-san, 2019)
Apparently Musashi has been trekking on foot half a day from Grand Canyon to Las Vegas. “No udon, no burger, just walk and walk and walk...” And then she is ashamed to show up in front of us (because event spoiler blah blah blah) so...
“H A I, K O N I C H I W A, tourists-S A N! I’m just a regular American Heroic Spirit D E S U!”
Sieg: “you’re American...?” Musashi?: “Y E ~ S U! Check out this W E S T E R N bikini, perfect as a cowboy gunman right? K A T A N A & P I S T O L double wielding! O H Y E A A A!
Guda:
Option 1: nope nope nope nope nope nope
Option 2: nope nope nope nope nope nope
And this little gem:
Gudao: A bunny suit? / Umm, aren’t you supposed to be a Swimsuit Swordsmaster too?
Bunny king: I am Swimsuit Lion King. The great owner of the Casino Camelot. There is no mistake. Why because, my suit... is water resistant.

HIMEJI SURVIVAL CASINO

Anne and Mary scene where Kotaro is able to record their battle tactics (that you definitely want to read):
Gang member: wheeze… wheeze… wheeze Finally caught you now. Damn cheeky girl, took me ages to track you down! (perverted laughs) But it was worth it hehehee…
Anne: Kyaa~ Don’t~ (monotone) What kinds of depravity would you subject me to?
Gang member: What do you mean, what kinds… Hiihiihii, don’t play dumb!
Samurai: (menacing giggles) Kukuku… It goes without saying… (WHIPS OUT KIARA P0RN!) We’ll have you read out loud this phantasmal book “Compilation of the Eiten School’s Dharma of Sensations!”
Anne: (dumbfounded)
Samurai: Of course, you have to read this in a tsundere-like voice that hides the inner ZUKKON LOVE of an osananajimi love interest, understand!
Anne: (What the heck is ZUKKON) (TL: “zukkon” means “madly in love”)
Anon Warrior: Ah, then I would like to request an onee-san voice pleeze. Lemme explain, you see, I recently became a working adult, and everyday feels like a constant grind full of social responsibilities… So-how-about-a-scenario-where-I’m-a-high-schooler-who-lives-alone-for-some-reason,-then-this-onee-san-would-cling-to-me-and-rant-with-beer-in-her-hand:-“Working-life-sucks~-But-how-can-a-kid-like-you-understand~”-But-when-I-protest:-“Don’t-treat-me-like-a-child!”-she-would-go-ara-ara-fufufu~-then-turn-towards-me-with-a-charming-smile-no-bratty-high-school-chick-could-pull-off-and-whisper-playfully-into-my-ear:-“Want-me-to-treat-you-like-an-adult-then? ♡”-pretty-please!
Gang member: You turn into a real motormouth as soon as people ask you about your delusions…
Samurai: My bad. Pretend you didn’t hear anything just now.
Mary: (dash into the scene!) Seriously! You got me lost in that lengthy rambling too!
Mob enemies: Wut!? (promptly get ambushed)
Anne: Umm lemme see lemme see… “Indeed. Let us head to the temple.”
Mary: Please don’t read that book for the love of God.
Gang member: W-Wait… Why do you guys have more members…?
Mary: I act as Anne’s equipment. So we’re two people, but still one Servant. Yaaaay. (cute grin)
Gang member & Samurai: T-That’s cheating… (drop dead)
Anon Warrior: …for the new lady who just appeared… a scenario where an osananajimi that I treated like an imouto who used to hang out with me plea… (dead)
Mary: You wouldn’t stop until you die!? (blush) And about that request, why does it have to be an imouto… I’ll do just fine as an onee-san too!
Anon Warrior: (crawl up from his grave with a shit-eating grin)
Mary: One express ticket to hell for you! (kick him away)
After Kotoro’s recording stops, Gudao has an option to respond: “Nevermind their tactics, can I know who that cultured Anon Warrior is?”
Later, to trick Anne and Mary using their own tactic, Gudao also disguises himself as equipment to act as baits for the 2 thirsty pirate onee-san.
Mashu: Are you going to be okay, Master…
Gudao: Please pick up my bones after they finish me.
mUSAshi: You’ll be fiiiiine. Neither meat nor bones will go anywhere!
Execution stage:
Mary: …h-huh? Master! What are you doing here?
Gudao: I’m lost…
Mary: Geez, you’re hopeless. Wait, if you’re here then you’re also a player right? …huh, equipment? I see, just like me… (blush) Yeah that makes sense. If I fit, then Master should also fit… But… playing the role of equipment… alone all by yourself…
Mary: Hmmm~ (scoot closer) Hmmm, mmm hmmm~ (scoot much closer)
Anne: (barge in) Hey, I found you!
Mary: (startle!) Yikes, Anne!
Anne: Hmph! It’s unfair to steal a move on Master in secret.
Mary: I’m not doing anything like that. To begin with, aren’t you supposed to be our lookout?
Anne: Teehee~ :D I heard Master was in the bamboos, so I just acted on my own without thinking.
Mary: Aww, what am I going to do with you :D Welp, all the more fun with just the 3 of us here!
Anne: I know right ♪
Anne: (thirsty mode ON) Let’s. Get. It. On. Then ♡ Master, you’re supposed to be equipment, right? In other words, it’s natural to treat you like our belongings, right? Ah. Non non. Of course we won’t go rough on you. We’ll juuuuust gently…
Mary: (invade personal space) Hug you…
Anne: (invade personal space) And press our cheeks on yours…
Mary: (dominate personal space) And do things we normally can’t do with you…
Anne: (dominate personal space) Do them lots and lots and lots ♡
Mary: Now, keep your eyes closed okay, Master? ♡
Gudao: Guys… look…
The girls: ?
Gudao: Sorry.
And then of course you gotta beat them up cuz god forbid we ever get laid.
MechaEli: (landing down) I have confirmed the tournament announcement. So Mary and Anne have been defeated, right?
Gudao: Since when can you fly!?
MechaEli: Since forever. This skill was installed as soon as I was manufactured. This is better than summoning the sea with some Noble Phantasm right?
(Getting flashback of dolphin railgun: Jeanne: “Yaaay~ I’m gonna filled the world with dolphins! :D” Reese: “DO PHI PHI PHI PHI PHI PHIN!” – translation: incredibly foul-mouthed dolphinspeak that mustn’t be transcribed)
Gudao: ...Yeah, you got a point.

PHARAOH CASINO

(For this part I just wanna comment that Schez takes up the role of the security chief of Pharaoh Casino to help Nito who is currently being possessed by Medjed-sama. Brown girl finally grew a spine for her friend 😭)
Gucchan just came out of a date with Xiang from the casino when Carmilla suddenly asks her to join Gudao’s band of phantom theives, so she just beats you up. But then we win instead so she’s like “fine fine what the hell do you want to talk me into”.
Carmi: “I know from my research, you lost a big sum in the casino just now right? The lover date just barely healed the salt. Don’t you want to get back at them? This heist will benefit you, because you see, what we’re after is the arrogance of a concept like casino itself.”
Gu: “...yeah, now that you mention it, what rubbish. Casino or whatever, rubbish. Why would I have to humiliate myself in puny humans’ rules for play pretend? Getting them back for making fun of me in front of Xiang-sama... very well, such detour may be fun” (cute fang grin)
Gudao: (Oops, paisen / She’s surprisingly...)
Hoku: Hey hey, wassup with this girl, she’s surprisingly easy to fool!
Mashu: No Hoku-san blurting that out is no good! Be flexible, Gu-san! Flexible!
Well, their plan to infiltrate the Casino is actually making Gu explode into a bloody mess to scare Schez off.
Planning stage:
Gu: “So what’s the big plan? As long as it’s not on the level of “No choice but to self-destruct right here!” that some purple-headed strategist’s been doing lately, I’m fine with anything.”
Carmi: “...”
Gu: “Say something! You’re pissing me off!”
Execution stage:
Gu: “excuse me, I feel ill...”
Schez: “oh no, this is not good ma’am! We must give you medical assist right away or else you might die...”
Gu: “...now that I look at it, this place is filled with nothing but white and slippery-looking guys (Medjeds). Wouldn’t it be more fitting to have strong intimidating guys around? This is too all-age for what I’m about to do.
Schez: ??
Gu: “I feel ill, ah really ill... Wait this is exactly what that strategist likes to do isn’t it! Hey what the hell I’m pissed!”
Carmi: (psst! Stick to the plan!)
Gu: “OH YEAH YEAH FINE I’M THE KIND OF WOMAN ONLY GOOD FOR THIS SORT OF THINGS RIGHT HUH?! EXPLODE RIGHT, I JUST GOTTA EXPLODE IS THAT IT?! Fine, here we go. [ETERNAL LAMENT!]”
(Splat! Blood rains everywhere)
Schez: I-I’m going to dieeeeee! Wait she dieeeeeessss??!
And then later when they bait Cleo out she’s all like what the hell is with all the ruckus and why the hell are the patrons screaming “meat...! meat...!”

SUITENGU CASINO

Assassin Creed: Lip edition #1:
Carmi: “QP farming is for plebs. I’m staying in the hotel for beauty treatment. Rather, why would you ask a phantom thief to do anything but to steal. I have no business with Sutengui. “There are no hidden treasures in Sutengui. Only the sound of cheering and empty holograms...” That’s what my Mistress Sensor has whispered to- (rocket punched, dead)
Lip: “Failed to detect a surprise attack from behind... is your sensor only good for detecting jewelry? Were you really an Assassin? That’s what you get for wearing a swimsuit not your age... I mean for turning into a Rider.”
Assassin Creed: Lip edition #2: Okkie: “GO GO GO! You’re dumb for running alone! No mercy for you, assault from 3 sides! Yep yep, survival games are the best! Sorry Maa-chan, I gotta stretch my limbs sometimes! To begin with, isn’t Sutengui like, that evil casino run by Lambda? There is definitely an evil aura well hidden there... even Hime can see darkness there... Kurohi (black Kiyohime? Third ascension?) said “it’s kinda scary” too... Ah well, today Carmi and Nero let me loose so I’m just gonna de-stress in the woods~! Ora ora, your back is wide open! You’re 10 years too early to join the battlefield beibii!”
Lip: “Same goes to you tho. Must be because your belly fat causes you to get slow.”
Okkie: “Whaa!? Whatcha mean, I took boxing class and went on a diet properly to prepare for summer you kno- (rocket punched, dead)
Lip: “You talk too much. If you’re aiming, keep your breath down and be quite. Were you really an Assassin? I don’t think you can join the cool Archer club with that much meat on your belly...”
Assassin Creed: Lip edition #3:
Fuuma: ... Lip:... Fuuma: ... Lip:... Fuuma: ... Lip:...
Fuuma: ...excuse me. You’ve been following me for quite some time, anything you wanna say?
Lip: ... sigh. Assassin class is truly cunning. Noticing me tailing like that... I just wanted to put you down gently... (not sure if rocket punches are considered gentle 🤨) that would have been a hat-trick... could you please read the mood here...”
Fuuma: (...but man, that’s really some dress she’s wearing... I can’t look straight... sasuga Vegas... no calm down Koutaro, calm as still water... at times like this, lord Kintoki would keep his cool and look straight without fail...!) (pretty Kinbro would just go beet red too tho)
Fuuma: Sorry but I’m in a hurry so I can’t dawdle here. Maybe if there are taxis around...
Lip: Oh that won’t be necessary. I have class advantage against Assassin after all ★
Fuuma: A giant...!? (about to say “fist” but he ded)
After capturing our Servants, Lip leaves us a threat letter: “I have to wonder how you’d challenge Sutengui with such lame Servants. The “distiny” of annoying flies are to be squashed flat. I’ll be using the three I captured at the beachside.
PS: Splitting watermelons is fun.”
Then you find out she actually buries those three in the sand to play watermelon splitting with their heads…
Lip: At the moment due to some circumstances Melt has turned into a Lancer, so I would prefer that only Saber people would beat her to a pulp.
Fuuma: Umm, aren’t you guys sisters?
Carmi: What are you on about. This is what siblings are like.
Fuuma: :C (Aren’t family members supposed to get along!?)
Hoku: Saber class is fine right? Then no need to worry, I’ll take her on! Leave this to us. There is no need for you to concern yourself anymore.
Lip: No role for me to play anymore? Isn’t this kind of situation where you recruit me into your party! Right, Gudao?
Gudao: If we leave her alone, it might be dangerous... / Lip is definitely our trump card.
Lip: Rogue! Passionlip will do her best! Given enough time, I can turn anything into a cube. If push comes to shove, the whole casino can just go poof!
Okkie: Yep, she’s a monster. On our side or not the level of danger is the same, Maa-chan T__T
Announcer: Welcome to Sutengui. We’ll now perform belonging inspection. Please spare the time to cooperate with us.
Gudao: it’s dark... / security is strict...
Mashu: yeah... if we don’t hold hands in this darkness we might get separated...
Sieg: (boing~) Where are you Hokusai? Are you there? (boing~) What is this smooth and elastic material that the more you hold it the more your hand digs in... (boing~) the texture is so soft, if I have to say... don’t tell me this is... (boing~) the breast muscles...?
Hoku: Dummy, that’s Octodad, stop grabbing his head! You can stop holding onto my belt now!
After getting out of the dark security check, Siegfried has squid ink on his face...
Melt’s casino is pretty hardcore. It converts your EXP into slot tokens without asking and if you lose you’re basically EXP food for Melt. Looks like the day before Gudao gang gets to Sutengui, Blackbeard and Columbus gambled their EXP away and died.
Bart: Each coin here is worth 1 million QP. Instead of fraud, they just play big. Returns are big too. If you get a triple the slot machine will eject 10 coins, a jackpot 1000. Do you know what this means?
Hoky: Each coin a million... then 1000 would be like, 10 billion QP!?
Sieg: No, on the other hand... we could lose 1 million QP in exactly 3 seconds!?
Gudao: This woman makes 1 million QP a second...! / This man loses 1 million QP a second...!
Koutaro being too much of an good guy:
Fuuma: That Alterego (Protea) must originally be a kind hearted girl, she’s just been deceived by that evil factory manager. If we defeat that rider, there shouldn’t be a need to fight her anymore!
Columbus: ?? ???
After we kick Columbus’ ass:
Protea: uu~ mister factory manager was too noisy, that woke me up...~ but he already kicked the bucket...? He didn’t even seem like he put up a fight... but I’m glad everybody else is okay! ... so let’s p l a y a w h o l e l o t, o k a y? Even if I make a little mess, Melt will fix it for me!
Fuuma: Huh!? Shouldn’t she be a good girl at heart??
Gudao: To begin with why would you even have that kinda idea / (oh, right, he didn’t know she went nuts on the skate ring earlier)
Melt’s plan getting sabotaged and her losing her cool is funny xD
Melt: The day has finally come... In just an hour everything will be mine. Though some little things remain, everything must come to an end. A star is destined to retired as a star. A bird never fouls its nest before abandoning it. For a swan like me, this is the perfect way to end things.
...
Hehe, hahahahahahaha! Ah geez, this is awesome! Nothing beats how happy I’m feeling right now! The biggest nuisance BB is gone, no other annoying boss characters left either! Yay!
And then...
Announcer: Fire broke out at the factory. The manager has run away. Protea, scouted to be the giant kaiju has been put down. Cannot compress EXP points to Melt-sama. Recommend starting all over.
Melt: Hey Siri, come again? My brain couldn’t compute that just now.
Announce: Repeat. You lost everything. Please redo the whole thing.
Melt: .......that so. Well, what happened happened. No I’m cool, I’m perfectly cool. This is Gudao’s masterplan isn’t it. I expected no less. (menacing lip licking) But I still have my turn you know? Right now I’ll go upstage and drain each and every member of the audience. Should be enough of a level-up to beat you pests into a pulp, right?
Announcer: I think you should say “Hey Siri, tell me the bad news” now.
Melt: ...Hey Siri, tell me the bad news.
Announcer: For some reason all the audience is gone. Currently, all Melt-sama has in your possession is a flat (read: pettanko) zero.
Melt: Hey Siri, eat shit and die!
Turns out the Gudao group shout to the audience that not only should they should leave because of danger, since Melt is unable to perform, they will instead host an equally beautiful “golden songs from Her Majesty Nero, or rather 10 songs, no make it a 3-day 3-night all-you-can-listen-until-you-faint show!”
Nero: wow! To be able to convince the audience to leave so quickly, the MC must have conveyed my direction really well!
Fuuma: (looks to me they’re running away in fear, but I should probably avoid pointing that out...)
Part 2 will prolly cover Jeanne's dolphin railgun and Okita's ridiculous backstory :D

Part 2 here.

submitted by squashyVN to grandorder [link] [comments]

Octogania casino cheat...

I read online that the best way to cheat this casino, more specifically the roulette table for the jackpot, was to go in, head up to the VIP are and speak to the girl by the jackpot pillar and that If she says she has a feeling someone will get lucky today (or something similar) then to place max bets on 12 and 14 and you should win the jack pot. If she doesn’t say the magic line before saying, so don’t be a stranger, you leave, stay at the inn, in town then try again the next day.
Well I got to the point where she muttered the magic line and so gradually used about 100,000,00 tokens, then another lot of the same amount, and whilst I won about 72,000.00 I never got the jackpot.
I did manage to win this jackpot before, using the same method, so I know it’s possible, but, is it only possible once?
I’m trying to get some of the Metal King Helms for my party but you need the full jackpot to get just one.
Any advice? Or any tips on how to spam the casino another way?
Or another way to get/make Metal King Helms.
I’m trying to armour up before taking on the post-game final boss.
submitted by Child-Like-Empress to dragonquest [link] [comments]

A propos of nothing, here are some possible upcoming film releases using only words that appear in the titles of James Bond films, complete with short plot outline.

Twice the gun, twice the finger Thriller. Dave sees first his father, then his uncle brutally murdered by members of an organised crime syndicate. Can he keep his resolve not to sink to their level, and continue his quiet defiance?
Not another casino spectre! Comedy-horror. Compulsive gambler Anne and her friends are having a 30th birthday party in an American casino, which unfortunately is haunted. Not only are the ghosts picking off the staff and guests one by one, but they're bringing Anne such bad luck! Will Anne hit the jackpot and leave with her winnings? Or will the ghosts be the first to hit their fatal winning streak?
Doctor on licence Murder mystery. Dr Williams was convicted of a crime she did not commit. Can she clear her name while on day release?
Another world of love Sci-fi. In the future, virtual reality has given everyone their perfect partner, but at what cost to humanity?
You are enough Romcom. Two young imperfect individuals are so keen to find their perfect partner that they overlook how much they mean to each other.
Again, another love ball Forever-single Geoff is boorish, sarcastic and the bane of speed-dating event organisers from Leicester to Lossiemouth. His friends have almost given up on him. Has he finally met his match this time?
Russia is forever Natural documentary. Following the historical movement of tectonic plates against current and historical borders, concluding that Russia probably won't be destroyed by a volcanic eruption anytime soon.
Another doctor to spy on me again Thriller. Distrustful Jane shuns conventional cancer treatment in favour of aromatherapy. As people try to reason with her, she becomes convinced of a plot by the medical establishment against her, and fights to protect her patchouli-scented way of life.
Her Majesty's Diamond Sky Service Drama. In order to save money, the royal family must now use commercial airlines when flying out to international engagements. The monarch schemes to rack up enough airline loyalty points to achieve the level of in-flight service she had previously enjoyed.
Let me spy to-day Inaction. James Bond is sacked for causing too much death and destruction. He refuses to accept this, and goes to a tribunal to fight for his right to spy.
Here's my word list if you'd like to join in: A, Again, And, Another, Are, Ball, Casino, Day, Daylight(s), Diamond(s), Die, Dies, DoctoDr, Enough, Eye, Eyes, Fall, Finger, For, Forever, From, Gold, Golden, Gun, Her, Is, Kill, Let, Licence, Live, Living, Love, Loved, Majesty(s), Man, Me, Moon, Never, No, Not, Octo-/Octopus, Of, On, Only, Pussy, Quantum, Rake(r), Royale, Russia, Say, Secret, Service, Sky, Solace, Spectre, Spy, The, Time, Thunder, To, Tomorrow, Twice, View, Who, With, World, You, Your.
(I admit I've cheated a bit, splitting up Goldfinger, Thunderball, Moonraker, Octopussy, Goldeneye, and Skyfall)
submitted by PM_ME_GARDENING_TIPS to CasualUK [link] [comments]

words

abacus abdomen abdominal abide abiding ability ablaze able abnormal abrasion abrasive abreast abridge abroad abruptly absence absentee absently absinthe absolute absolve abstain abstract absurd accent acclaim acclimate accompany account accuracy accurate accustom acetone achiness aching acid acorn acquaint acquire acre acrobat acronym acting action activate activator active activism activist activity actress acts acutely acuteness aeration aerobics aerosol aerospace afar affair affected affecting affection affidavit affiliate affirm affix afflicted affluent afford affront aflame afloat aflutter afoot afraid afterglow afterlife aftermath aftermost afternoon aged ageless agency agenda agent aggregate aghast agile agility aging agnostic agonize agonizing agony agreeable agreeably agreed agreeing agreement aground ahead ahoy aide aids aim ajar alabaster alarm albatross album alfalfa algebra algorithm alias alibi alienable alienate aliens alike alive alkaline alkalize almanac almighty almost aloe aloft aloha alone alongside aloof alphabet alright although altitude alto aluminum alumni always amaretto amaze amazingly amber ambiance ambiguity ambiguous ambition ambitious ambulance ambush amendable amendment amends amenity amiable amicably amid amigo amino amiss ammonia ammonium amnesty amniotic among amount amperage ample amplifier amplify amply amuck amulet amusable amused amusement amuser amusing anaconda anaerobic anagram anatomist anatomy anchor anchovy ancient android anemia anemic aneurism anew angelfish angelic anger angled angler angles angling angrily angriness anguished angular animal animate animating animation animator anime animosity ankle annex annotate announcer annoying annually annuity anointer another answering antacid antarctic anteater antelope antennae anthem anthill anthology antibody antics antidote antihero antiquely antiques antiquity antirust antitoxic antitrust antiviral antivirus antler antonym antsy anvil anybody anyhow anymore anyone anyplace anything anytime anyway anywhere aorta apache apostle appealing appear appease appeasing appendage appendix appetite appetizer applaud applause apple appliance applicant applied apply appointee appraisal appraiser apprehend approach approval approve apricot april apron aptitude aptly aqua aqueduct arbitrary arbitrate ardently area arena arguable arguably argue arise armadillo armband armchair armed armful armhole arming armless armoire armored armory armrest army aroma arose around arousal arrange array arrest arrival arrive arrogance arrogant arson art ascend ascension ascent ascertain ashamed ashen ashes ashy aside askew asleep asparagus aspect aspirate aspire aspirin astonish astound astride astrology astronaut astronomy astute atlantic atlas atom atonable atop atrium atrocious atrophy attach attain attempt attendant attendee attention attentive attest attic attire attitude attractor attribute atypical auction audacious audacity audible audibly audience audio audition augmented august authentic author autism autistic autograph automaker automated automatic autopilot available avalanche avatar avenge avenging avenue average aversion avert aviation aviator avid avoid await awaken award aware awhile awkward awning awoke awry axis babble babbling babied baboon backache backboard backboned backdrop backed backer backfield backfire backhand backing backlands backlash backless backlight backlit backlog backpack backpedal backrest backroom backshift backside backslid backspace backspin backstab backstage backtalk backtrack backup backward backwash backwater backyard bacon bacteria bacterium badass badge badland badly badness baffle baffling bagel bagful baggage bagged baggie bagginess bagging baggy bagpipe baguette baked bakery bakeshop baking balance balancing balcony balmy balsamic bamboo banana banish banister banjo bankable bankbook banked banker banking banknote bankroll banner bannister banshee banter barbecue barbed barbell barber barcode barge bargraph barista baritone barley barmaid barman barn barometer barrack barracuda barrel barrette barricade barrier barstool bartender barterer bash basically basics basil basin basis basket batboy batch bath baton bats battalion battered battering battery batting battle bauble bazooka blabber bladder blade blah blame blaming blanching blandness blank blaspheme blasphemy blast blatancy blatantly blazer blazing bleach bleak bleep blemish blend bless blighted blimp bling blinked blinker blinking blinks blip blissful blitz blizzard bloated bloating blob blog bloomers blooming blooper blot blouse blubber bluff bluish blunderer blunt blurb blurred blurry blurt blush blustery boaster boastful boasting boat bobbed bobbing bobble bobcat bobsled bobtail bodacious body bogged boggle bogus boil bok bolster bolt bonanza bonded bonding bondless boned bonehead boneless bonelike boney bonfire bonnet bonsai bonus bony boogeyman boogieman book boondocks booted booth bootie booting bootlace bootleg boots boozy borax boring borough borrower borrowing boss botanical botanist botany botch both bottle bottling bottom bounce bouncing bouncy bounding boundless bountiful bovine boxcar boxer boxing boxlike boxy breach breath breeches breeching breeder breeding breeze breezy brethren brewery brewing briar bribe brick bride bridged brigade bright brilliant brim bring brink brisket briskly briskness bristle brittle broadband broadcast broaden broadly broadness broadside broadways broiler broiling broken broker bronchial bronco bronze bronzing brook broom brought browbeat brownnose browse browsing bruising brunch brunette brunt brush brussels brute brutishly bubble bubbling bubbly buccaneer bucked bucket buckle buckshot buckskin bucktooth buckwheat buddhism buddhist budding buddy budget buffalo buffed buffer buffing buffoon buggy bulb bulge bulginess bulgur bulk bulldog bulldozer bullfight bullfrog bullhorn bullion bullish bullpen bullring bullseye bullwhip bully bunch bundle bungee bunion bunkbed bunkhouse bunkmate bunny bunt busboy bush busily busload bust busybody buzz cabana cabbage cabbie cabdriver cable caboose cache cackle cacti cactus caddie caddy cadet cadillac cadmium cage cahoots cake calamari calamity calcium calculate calculus caliber calibrate calm caloric calorie calzone camcorder cameo camera camisole camper campfire camping campsite campus canal canary cancel candied candle candy cane canine canister cannabis canned canning cannon cannot canola canon canopener canopy canteen canyon capable capably capacity cape capillary capital capitol capped capricorn capsize capsule caption captivate captive captivity capture caramel carat caravan carbon cardboard carded cardiac cardigan cardinal cardstock carefully caregiver careless caress caretaker cargo caring carless carload carmaker carnage carnation carnival carnivore carol carpenter carpentry carpool carport carried carrot carrousel carry cartel cartload carton cartoon cartridge cartwheel carve carving carwash cascade case cash casing casino casket cassette casually casualty catacomb catalog catalyst catalyze catapult cataract catatonic catcall catchable catcher catching catchy caterer catering catfight catfish cathedral cathouse catlike catnap catnip catsup cattail cattishly cattle catty catwalk caucasian caucus causal causation cause causing cauterize caution cautious cavalier cavalry caviar cavity cedar celery celestial celibacy celibate celtic cement census ceramics ceremony certainly certainty certified certify cesarean cesspool chafe chaffing chain chair chalice challenge chamber chamomile champion chance change channel chant chaos chaperone chaplain chapped chaps chapter character charbroil charcoal charger charging chariot charity charm charred charter charting chase chasing chaste chastise chastity chatroom chatter chatting chatty cheating cheddar cheek cheer cheese cheesy chef chemicals chemist chemo cherisher cherub chess chest chevron chevy chewable chewer chewing chewy chief chihuahua childcare childhood childish childless childlike chili chill chimp chip chirping chirpy chitchat chivalry chive chloride chlorine choice chokehold choking chomp chooser choosing choosy chop chosen chowder chowtime chrome chubby chuck chug chummy chump chunk churn chute cider cilantro cinch cinema cinnamon circle circling circular circulate circus citable citadel citation citizen citric citrus city civic civil clad claim clambake clammy clamor clamp clamshell clang clanking clapped clapper clapping clarify clarinet clarity clash clasp class clatter clause clavicle claw clay clean clear cleat cleaver cleft clench clergyman clerical clerk clever clicker client climate climatic cling clinic clinking clip clique cloak clobber clock clone cloning closable closure clothes clothing cloud clover clubbed clubbing clubhouse clump clumsily clumsy clunky clustered clutch clutter coach coagulant coastal coaster coasting coastland coastline coat coauthor cobalt cobbler cobweb cocoa coconut cod coeditor coerce coexist coffee cofounder cognition cognitive cogwheel coherence coherent cohesive coil coke cola cold coleslaw coliseum collage collapse collar collected collector collide collie collision colonial colonist colonize colony colossal colt coma come comfort comfy comic coming comma commence commend comment commerce commode commodity commodore common commotion commute commuting compacted compacter compactly compactor companion company compare compel compile comply component composed composer composite compost composure compound compress comprised computer computing comrade concave conceal conceded concept concerned concert conch concierge concise conclude concrete concur condense condiment condition condone conducive conductor conduit cone confess confetti confidant confident confider confiding configure confined confining confirm conflict conform confound confront confused confusing confusion congenial congested congrats congress conical conjoined conjure conjuror connected connector consensus consent console consoling consonant constable constant constrain constrict construct consult consumer consuming contact container contempt contend contented contently contents contest context contort contour contrite control contusion convene convent copartner cope copied copier copilot coping copious copper copy coral cork cornball cornbread corncob cornea corned corner cornfield cornflake cornhusk cornmeal cornstalk corny coronary coroner corporal corporate corral correct corridor corrode corroding corrosive corsage corset cortex cosigner cosmetics cosmic cosmos cosponsor cost cottage cotton couch cough could countable countdown counting countless country county courier covenant cover coveted coveting coyness cozily coziness cozy crabbing crabgrass crablike crabmeat cradle cradling crafter craftily craftsman craftwork crafty cramp cranberry crane cranial cranium crank crate crave craving crawfish crawlers crawling crayfish crayon crazed crazily craziness crazy creamed creamer creamlike crease creasing creatable create creation creative creature credible credibly credit creed creme creole crepe crept crescent crested cresting crestless crevice crewless crewman crewmate crib cricket cried crier crimp crimson cringe cringing crinkle crinkly crisped crisping crisply crispness crispy criteria critter croak crock crook croon crop cross crouch crouton crowbar crowd crown crucial crudely crudeness cruelly cruelness cruelty crumb crummiest crummy crumpet crumpled cruncher crunching crunchy crusader crushable crushed crusher crushing crust crux crying cryptic crystal cubbyhole cube cubical cubicle cucumber cuddle cuddly cufflink culinary culminate culpable culprit cultivate cultural culture cupbearer cupcake cupid cupped cupping curable curator curdle cure curfew curing curled curler curliness curling curly curry curse cursive cursor curtain curtly curtsy curvature curve curvy cushy cusp cussed custard custodian custody customary customer customize customs cut cycle cyclic cycling cyclist cylinder cymbal cytoplasm cytoplast dab dad daffodil dagger daily daintily dainty dairy daisy dallying dance dancing dandelion dander dandruff dandy danger dangle dangling daredevil dares daringly darkened darkening darkish darkness darkroom darling darn dart darwinism dash dastardly data datebook dating daughter daunting dawdler dawn daybed daybreak daycare daydream daylight daylong dayroom daytime dazzler dazzling deacon deafening deafness dealer dealing dealmaker dealt dean debatable debate debating debit debrief debtless debtor debug debunk decade decaf decal decathlon decay deceased deceit deceiver deceiving december decency decent deception deceptive decibel decidable decimal decimeter decipher deck declared decline decode decompose decorated decorator decoy decrease decree dedicate dedicator deduce deduct deed deem deepen deeply deepness deface defacing defame default defeat defection defective defendant defender defense defensive deferral deferred defiance defiant defile defiling define definite deflate deflation deflator deflected deflector defog deforest defraud defrost deftly defuse defy degraded degrading degrease degree dehydrate deity dejected delay delegate delegator delete deletion delicacy delicate delicious delighted delirious delirium deliverer delivery delouse delta deluge delusion deluxe demanding demeaning demeanor demise democracy democrat demote demotion demystify denatured deniable denial denim denote dense density dental dentist denture deny deodorant deodorize departed departure depict deplete depletion deplored deploy deport depose depraved depravity deprecate depress deprive depth deputize deputy derail deranged derby derived desecrate deserve deserving designate designed designer designing deskbound desktop deskwork desolate despair despise despite destiny destitute destruct detached detail detection detective detector detention detergent detest detonate detonator detoxify detract deuce devalue deviancy deviant deviate deviation deviator device devious devotedly devotee devotion devourer devouring devoutly dexterity dexterous diabetes diabetic diabolic diagnoses diagnosis diagram dial diameter diaper diaphragm diary dice dicing dictate dictation dictator difficult diffused diffuser diffusion diffusive dig dilation diligence diligent dill dilute dime diminish dimly dimmed dimmer dimness dimple diner dingbat dinghy dinginess dingo dingy dining dinner diocese dioxide diploma dipped dipper dipping directed direction directive directly directory direness dirtiness disabled disagree disallow disarm disarray disaster disband disbelief disburse discard discern discharge disclose discolor discount discourse discover discuss disdain disengage disfigure disgrace dish disinfect disjoin disk dislike disliking dislocate dislodge disloyal dismantle dismay dismiss dismount disobey disorder disown disparate disparity dispatch dispense dispersal dispersed disperser 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gills gimmick girdle giveaway given giver giving gizmo gizzard glacial glacier glade gladiator gladly glamorous glamour glance glancing glandular glare glaring glass glaucoma glazing gleaming gleeful glider gliding glimmer glimpse glisten glitch glitter glitzy gloater gloating gloomily gloomy glorified glorifier glorify glorious glory gloss glove glowing glowworm glucose glue gluten glutinous glutton gnarly gnat goal goatskin goes goggles going goldfish goldmine goldsmith golf goliath gonad gondola gone gong good gooey goofball goofiness goofy google goon gopher gore gorged gorgeous gory gosling gossip gothic gotten gout gown grab graceful graceless gracious gradation graded grader gradient grading gradually graduate graffiti grafted grafting grain granddad grandkid grandly grandma grandpa grandson granite granny granola grant granular grape graph grapple grappling grasp grass gratified gratify grating gratitude gratuity gravel graveness graves graveyard gravitate gravity gravy gray grazing greasily greedily greedless greedy green greeter greeting grew greyhound grid grief grievance grieving grievous grill grimace grimacing grime griminess grimy grinch grinning grip gristle grit groggily groggy groin groom groove grooving groovy grope ground grouped grout grove grower growing growl grub grudge grudging grueling gruffly grumble grumbling grumbly grumpily grunge grunt guacamole guidable guidance guide guiding guileless guise gulf gullible gully gulp gumball gumdrop gumminess gumming gummy gurgle gurgling guru gush gusto gusty gutless guts gutter guy guzzler gyration habitable habitant habitat habitual hacked hacker hacking hacksaw had haggler haiku half halogen halt halved halves hamburger hamlet hammock hamper hamster hamstring handbag handball handbook handbrake handcart handclap handclasp handcraft handcuff handed handful handgrip handgun handheld handiness handiwork handlebar handled handler handling handmade handoff handpick handprint handrail handsaw handset handsfree handshake handstand handwash handwork handwoven handwrite handyman hangnail hangout hangover hangup hankering hankie hanky haphazard happening happier happiest happily happiness happy harbor hardcopy hardcore hardcover harddisk hardened hardener hardening hardhat hardhead hardiness hardly hardness hardship hardware hardwired hardwood hardy harmful harmless harmonica harmonics harmonize harmony harness harpist harsh harvest hash hassle haste hastily hastiness hasty hatbox hatchback hatchery hatchet hatching hatchling hate hatless hatred haunt haven hazard hazelnut hazily haziness hazing hazy headache headband headboard headcount headdress headed header headfirst headgear heading headlamp headless headlock headphone headpiece headrest headroom headscarf headset headsman headstand headstone headway headwear heap heat heave heavily heaviness heaving hedge hedging heftiness hefty helium helmet helper helpful helping helpless helpline hemlock hemstitch hence henchman henna herald herbal herbicide herbs heritage hermit heroics heroism herring herself hertz hesitancy hesitant hesitate hexagon hexagram hubcap huddle huddling huff hug hula hulk hull human humble humbling humbly humid humiliate humility humming hummus humongous humorist humorless humorous humpback humped humvee hunchback hundredth hunger hungrily hungry hunk hunter hunting huntress huntsman hurdle hurled hurler hurling hurray hurricane hurried hurry hurt husband hush husked huskiness hut hybrid hydrant hydrated hydration hydrogen hydroxide hyperlink hypertext hyphen hypnoses hypnosis hypnotic hypnotism hypnotist hypnotize hypocrisy hypocrite ibuprofen ice iciness icing icky icon icy idealism idealist idealize ideally idealness identical identify identity ideology idiocy idiom idly igloo ignition ignore iguana illicitly illusion illusive image imaginary imagines imaging imbecile imitate imitation immature immerse immersion imminent immobile immodest immorally immortal immovable immovably immunity 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lapped lapping laptop lard large lark lash lasso last latch late lather latitude latrine latter latticed launch launder laundry laurel lavender lavish laxative lazily laziness lazy lecturer left legacy legal legend legged leggings legible legibly legislate lego legroom legume legwarmer legwork lemon lend length lens lent leotard lesser letdown lethargic lethargy letter lettuce level leverage levers levitate levitator liability liable liberty librarian library licking licorice lid life lifter lifting liftoff ligament likely likeness likewise liking lilac lilly lily limb limeade limelight limes limit limping limpness line lingo linguini linguist lining linked linoleum linseed lint lion lip liquefy liqueur liquid lisp list litigate litigator litmus litter little livable lived lively liver livestock lividly living lizard lubricant lubricate lucid luckily luckiness luckless lucrative ludicrous lugged lukewarm lullaby lumber luminance luminous lumpiness lumping lumpish lunacy lunar lunchbox 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massive mastiff matador matchbook matchbox matcher matching matchless material maternal maternity math mating matriarch matrimony matrix matron matted matter maturely maturing maturity mauve maverick maximize maximum maybe mayday mayflower moaner moaning mobile mobility mobilize mobster mocha mocker mockup modified modify modular modulator module moisten moistness moisture molar molasses mold molecular molecule molehill mollusk mom monastery monday monetary monetize moneybags moneyless moneywise mongoose mongrel monitor monkhood monogamy monogram monologue monopoly monorail monotone monotype monoxide monsieur monsoon monstrous monthly monument moocher moodiness moody mooing moonbeam mooned moonlight moonlike moonlit moonrise moonscape moonshine moonstone moonwalk mop morale morality morally morbidity morbidly morphine morphing morse mortality mortally mortician mortified mortify mortuary mosaic mossy most mothball mothproof motion motivate motivator motive motocross motor motto mountable mountain mounted mounting mourner mournful mouse mousiness moustache mousy mouth movable move movie moving mower mowing much muck mud mug mulberry mulch mule mulled mullets multiple multiply multitask multitude mumble mumbling mumbo mummified mummify mummy mumps munchkin mundane municipal muppet mural murkiness murky murmuring muscular museum mushily mushiness mushroom mushy music musket muskiness musky mustang mustard muster mustiness musty mutable mutate mutation mute mutilated mutilator mutiny mutt mutual muzzle myself myspace mystified mystify myth nacho nag nail name naming nanny nanometer nape napkin napped napping nappy narrow nastily nastiness national native nativity natural nature naturist nautical navigate navigator navy nearby nearest nearly nearness neatly neatness nebula nebulizer nectar negate negation negative neglector negligee negligent negotiate nemeses nemesis neon nephew nerd nervous nervy nest net neurology neuron neurosis neurotic neuter neutron never next nibble nickname nicotine niece nifty nimble nimbly nineteen ninetieth ninja nintendo ninth nuclear nuclei nucleus nugget nullify number numbing numbly numbness numeral numerate numerator numeric numerous nuptials nursery nursing nurture nutcase nutlike nutmeg nutrient nutshell nuttiness nutty nuzzle nylon oaf oak oasis oat obedience obedient obituary object obligate obliged oblivion oblivious oblong obnoxious oboe obscure obscurity observant observer observing obsessed obsession obsessive obsolete obstacle obstinate obstruct obtain obtrusive obtuse obvious occultist occupancy occupant occupier occupy ocean ocelot octagon octane october octopus ogle oil oink ointment okay old olive olympics omega omen ominous omission omit omnivore onboard oncoming ongoing onion online onlooker only onscreen onset onshore onslaught onstage onto onward onyx oops ooze oozy opacity opal open operable operate operating operation operative operator opium opossum opponent oppose opposing opposite 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overrate overreach overreact override overripe overrule overrun overshoot overshot oversight oversized oversleep oversold overspend overstate overstay overstep overstock overstuff oversweet overtake overthrow overtime overtly overtone overture overturn overuse overvalue overview overwrite owl oxford oxidant oxidation oxidize oxidizing oxygen oxymoron oyster ozone paced pacemaker pacific pacifier pacifism pacifist pacify padded padding paddle paddling padlock pagan pager paging pajamas palace palatable palm palpable palpitate paltry pampered pamperer pampers pamphlet panama pancake pancreas panda pandemic pang panhandle panic panning panorama panoramic panther pantomime pantry pants pantyhose paparazzi papaya paper paprika papyrus parabola parachute parade paradox paragraph parakeet paralegal paralyses paralysis paralyze paramedic parameter paramount parasail parasite parasitic parcel parched parchment pardon parish parka parking parkway parlor parmesan parole parrot parsley parsnip partake parted parting partition partly partner partridge party passable passably passage passcode passenger passerby passing passion passive passivism passover passport password pasta pasted pastel pastime pastor pastrami pasture pasty patchwork patchy paternal paternity path patience patient patio patriarch patriot patrol patronage patronize pauper pavement paver pavestone pavilion paving pawing payable payback paycheck payday payee payer paying payment payphone payroll pebble pebbly pecan pectin peculiar peddling pediatric pedicure pedigree pedometer pegboard pelican pellet pelt pelvis penalize penalty pencil pendant pending penholder penknife pennant penniless penny penpal pension pentagon pentagram pep perceive percent perch percolate perennial perfected perfectly perfume periscope perish perjurer perjury perkiness perky perm peroxide perpetual perplexed persecute persevere persuaded persuader pesky peso pessimism pessimist pester pesticide petal petite petition petri petroleum 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